Chapter Text
It all started so innocently, which, to Vee, should have been a sign of things to come.
She was watching nature documentaries with Masha (read: snuggled up to her partner as a zoologist enthusiastically discussed Bolivian tree frogs) when she smelled the most wonderful, delectable smell of her life.
That was the only warning she got before the front door flew open and Luz- because it was quite obviously Luz, despite the fact she now had gold eyes, dark fur, thick, fluffy hair, horns, bony claws and other such protrusions, a staff, a witch hat and an arc reactor-esque symbol on her chest- burst in, with a mighty cry of “Guess who’s back?!”
Vee and Masha awkwardly stared at her. Luz stared back.
“...I should’ve checked to make sure you were the only one home, right?” Said Luz calmly.
“Yes, yes you should’ve.” Said Vee, struggling not to drool. Why the heck did her sister smell so good?! The sheer amount of magic emanating from her was downright intoxicating, and far more pure (and sweet) than Belos’s magic.
She wasn’t even trying to feed, and yet she felt fuller than she ever had in weeks. And she still wanted more.
“Luz, mija, was that really necessary?” Asked an exhausted-looking Camila, stepping in behind her daughter, while Vee mentally kicked herself for not noticing her beloved mami sooner.
“Yes.” Said Luz. “So, uh… Masha, if I said that this was just an elaborate costume, would you believe me?”
“Luz, your sister has her tail wrapped around my legs. I think that ship has sailed.” Said Masha. “Also, what the hell happened to you?! You look hot!”
“Hey!” Exclaimed Vee.
“Don’t worry, honey, I still prefer scales to fur.” Promised Masha before kissing Vee, making her entire body go red.
“You better, ‘cause Luz’s mine!” Amity, who Vee had also never noticed, shouted, while having a death grip on Luz’s arm.
“So, Vee, when did this happen?” Asked an excited Luz, gesturing to Masha.
“I asked them out while you and the others were in the Isles.” Answered Vee, puffing her chest with pride.
“You stared at me dead silent for several seconds, threw a flower bouquet at my face, then ran out of the Historical Society building screaming.” Reminded Masha, causing Vee to slightly deflate and Luz to start laughing.
“The next time we met, I asked you if you wanted to go out, you screamed ‘Crispy Critters!’, passed out, then immediately said yes when you woke up.”
“Oh, you are most definitely a Noceda.” Snickered Luz.
“Still not as bad as the first time I asked out Manny.” Said Camila fondly. “I’m so proud of you, Vee! You and Masha make a very lovely couple!”
Vee blushed as Masha hugged her. “Th-Thanks, mami. So, Luz, when did all… this happen?!”
“Oh, I died.” Started Luz nonchalantly.
“ YOU DIED?! ” Exclaimed Vee and Masha in horror.
“Yeah, but it wasn’t really a big deal…” Luz began, only to pause midway. “Actually, that’s a lie, it was a very big deal, and it hurt like hell, and it was super scary and I don’t want to go through something like that ever again, but hey, I had to protect The Collector.”
“Hold on, I thought The Collector was a bad guy?” Interrupted Vee.
“We thought that too, but it turns out they’re just a lonely and misguided kid. One with unlimited cosmic power who didn’t understand how fragile people without said cosmic power are, but still. He’s actually very sweet once you get to know him.” Explained Luz. “Anyways, the cancer turned into a kaiju-”
“The cancer?”
“Luz won’t refer to Belos as anything but ‘The cancer.’ It’s actually starting to stick with the others.” Amity helpfully explained.
“Why though?” Questioned Vee.
“Because that’s what it was.” Answered Luz.
Vee considered it for a moment before realizing, yeah, her sister was right. Belos had been the living embodiment of rot and decay, so cancer was a good label for him.
Or rather ‘It’, considering how often Belos- sorry, the cancer - had referred to her and the other basilisks as “it” back then.
“Anyway,” Luz continued. “The cancer turned into a kaiju, and The Collector channeled his inner Steven Universe and tried to befriend it-”
“What?! Why on earth would they try to do that?!” Exclaimed Vee.
“Well, to be fair, we did kinda do the same to him. Anywho, it didn’t take, the cancer tried to blast them, I blocked the shot and… well, died.” Said Luz, becoming uncomfortable for a moment alongside Amity and Camila.
“But! On the bright side, I went to the afterlife and met the Titan- oh, by the way, the afterlife exists, meaning we no longer have to fear death-”
“Hold on, you met the Titan?!” Shrieked Vee, though a small part of her was questioning why she should be surprised by this anymore.
“Yeah, pretty decent guy,” Nodded Luz. “really rocked the dad bod.”
“Luz, in the future, please don’t refer to the Titan as having a ‘dad bod’” Said Amity as she pinched the bridge of her nose.
“Well he did!” Defended Luz. “And a worm was sticking out of his missing eye that resembled a mini-Hooty which, A: gross, B: carries a lot of uncomfortable implications-”
“Wait, what’s a Hooty?” Masha interrupted.
“We ask that question all the time.” Said Camila, a haunted look in her eyes.
“And yet the world may never know.” Added Amity morbidly.
“So you basically met God, Luz?!” Questioned an enraptured Masha.
“No, I met the Titan. Which I guess is basically the same thing.” Admitted Luz. “Anyways, he set me straight on a lot of things, gave me his powers, and this rockin’ bod!”
“Which I will forever thank him for.” Whimpered a gleeful Amity.
“Then I reunited with King and Eda- oh, by the way,this is King, we forgot to mention him.” Said Luz, lifting her right leg, where an adorable furry black creature with a skull for a head was clinging on.
“He hasn’t let go of me since we passed through the portal.”
“That’s because the last time that happened, I didn’t see you for months!” The little creature cried in indignation. “It was incredibly traumatizing!”
“ Hermano , all of us were traumatized.” Luz reminded him cheerfully. “By the way, Vee, King’s our little brother.”
The last bit was said with such nonchalance that Vee instantly accepted it without question. “Hey, little guy! Welcome to the family! I’m Vee, you’re big sister!”
“Hi.” King said, somewhat shyly.
“I want one so badly.” Said Masha.
“Well, tough luck, I’m the second-to-last of my kind!” Boasted King, before his face fell. “Aw, dang it, I made myself sad.”
“Wait, second to last?” Asked Masha.
“King was the last Titan, but then his dad did this to me, so I’m a Titan too.” Luz explained. “And now that I think about it, I guess that makes him my dad too!”
“I’m not really sure how to feel about that.” Said Camila.
“Oh.”
“Lucky,” Muttered Vee. “As far as I know, I’m the last basilisk.”
“Actually, as I speak, a special group of witches are scouring every inch of the Isles to find any and all basilisks who may have escaped alongside you.” Said Camila.
“Really?!” Exclaimed Vee in excitement.
“You mean there’s more of you?!” Said Masha hopefully, eyes gleaming.
“Anyways, I reunited with Eda and King-” Started Luz.
“And we kicked the cancer’s ass!” Shouted King.
“Yeah,it was a total anime moment.” Continued Luz. “And now it’s permanently dead.”
“Are you sure? ‘Cause you thought that before,and it turned out it was possessing Hunter before it tried to kill all of us, and actually succeeded in murdering Flapjack.” Pointed out a concerned Vee.
“ Speaking of which, where is my brother? ” Thought Vee after a moment. “ He’s ok, right? ”
“No, it’s legitimately dead this time. We made sure.” Said Luz firmly. “It’s body was already falling apart, and I conjured up some boiling rain to melt it down and finish the job.”
“Then mom, nobi and I stomped on what was left of it just to be sure!” Said King.
“Oh yeah, you have a second mom and nobi now.” Added Luz.
“Okay,” Said Vee, accepting it without question. She then frowned. “Man, now I kinda wish I didn’t stay behind. It sounds like I missed a lot!”
“Yeah, you did.” Agreed Luz. “For one thing, I finally got my Palisman! Meet Stringbean!”
Her staff vanished in a puff of magic, and in its place was the most adorable critter Vee had ever laid her eyes on. It was a precious, fuzzy little purple snake with a white face, pearls for a rattle, shining, happy eyes and a tiny little forked tongue that flicked in and out of its mouth.
“ I’ve only just met Stringbean, but if anything ever happened to them, I’d kill everybody in the room and then myself. ” Thought Vee. And judging by the happy nonsense Masha was saying, she wasn’t the only one who felt that way.
“She’s a snakeshifter!” Luz explained as she tickled Stringbean’s chin, causing her to squeak and shift between a bat and a cat before going back to a snake. “Isn’t she just the greatest?”
“Ghost certainly thinks so.” Agreed Amity as her cat Palisman Ghost climbed onto her shoulder and stared at Stringbean in adoration, mirroring the way her owner would stare at Luz.
“Oh yeah. Totes ship them.” Said Masha in a low voice.
“So she’s a shapeshifting snake, just like me!” Vee squealed in delight. “Were you thinking of me when you hatched her?”
“...Yes.” Said Luz, eyes shifting around.
“I can’t believe I missed her hatching, I was so looking forward to it!” Exclaimed Vee. “Maybe I should’ve gone with you guys.”
“If you did, we wouldn’t have gotten together.” Said Masha, gently holding Vee’s hand. “Also, everyone would freak about your entire family disappearing out of the blue, but still.”
“True, true.” Conceded Vee. “By the way, mami, you forgot to give me the car keys, so I had to hotwire it to get home.”
“How the heck did you learn how to hotwire a car?!” Exclaimed Camila.
“Internet.”
“Noice.” Luz approved. “You are most definitely a member of the Bad Girl Coven.”
Vee simply smiled at that.
“So, let me get this straight: You died, met God, or the equivalent thereof, came back to life as an insanely badass and drop-dead gorgeous demon sorceress, and beat the crap out of a centuries-old genocidal colonizer before melting it and stomping it to death.” Said Masha, awestruck. “Does this make you witch Jesus?”
“What’s a Jesus?” King asked innocently.
“That’s a very long, difficult subject I’m not even sure how to begin to explain.” Answered Camila.
“Wha-Of course not, Masha.” Luz scoffed, only to stop and rethink her answer. “Hang on. Mami, am I actually witch Jesus? Would that be heretical to say?”
“Luz, sweetie, everything I thought I knew about the universe has been thrown out the window these past few months.” Said Camila tiredly.
“I don’t even know if our God exists anymore, if a demonstrably real one brought you back from the dead. You might as well be a magical messiah.”
“Oh.” Said Luz. “Well, I guess that’s ok, then, just so long as nobody starts worshipping me or forms a religion around me or something.”
“Oh, they’re definitely gonna form a religion.” Said King with the same amount of subtlety as a 2x4.
“Absolutely.” Agreed Vee.
“Aw crud. And we just toppled one corrupt theocracy…” Groaned Luz. “Welp, gonna have to nip this one in the bud when the time comes.”
“Y’know, Vee, I’m starting to wonder if I fell for the wrong sister…” Said Masha, still staring at Luz.
“Ayo?!” Exclaimed Vee.
“Just kidding!” Replied Masha. “...Y’know, mostly.”
“WHAT?!”
King looked between Luz and Vee in confusion. “Uh, Luz, I know not all twins look as creepily alike like Ed and Em, but…”
“Well, we look nothing alike, and we’re siblings.” Retorted Luz.
King simply gestured to her horns, fur, bones and glowing eyes.
“I-I didn’t always have these!” Said Luz defensively.
“Wait, where are the others? Are they ok?” Questioned Vee.
“Everyone’s fine.” Assured Camila. “Nobody died. Well, except for Luz.” She then stared off into the distance. “Still haven’t fully processed that.”
“Willow and Gus are showing their dads around town, and will be back later.” Explained Luz.
“Um, is that wise?” Asked Vee.
“I dunno!” Luz admitted cheerfully. “And as for Hunter…”
“Right here.” Said Hunter, leaning against the doorframe in a (failed) attempt at looking cool.
“Hunter!” Vee squeaked happily as she ran over and hugged her brother. He tensed briefly, before relaxing at the familiar contact. “I was so worried about you, dude! I mean, I knew Luz would be fine, but you… you’re the one I was most worried about.”
“Why does everyone keep saying that?!” Exclaimed an annoyed Hunter.
“Well, I mean, you are kinda hopeless…” Pointed out Amity.
“I’ve battled monsters and demons unlike anything you’ve ever seen! I’ve trained as a soldier under the harshest conditions possible! I survived-” Hunter faltered for a moment. “I survived living with the cancer my entire life!”
“Hey, didn’t you cry like a baby when watching Wolfwalkers ?” Reminded Luz.
“ WE ALL DID! ”
“There there, it’s ok,” Cooed Vee, gently patting Hunter on the head. “You’re big sister Vee is here to take care of you again..”
“Still not sure I’m younger than you…” Grumbled Hunter.
“Didn’t those notes Steve found indicate that the basilisks were made while your predecessor was still-” Started Luz
“That evidence is circumstantial at best !” Cried Hunter, his face reddening.
Camila sighed happily. “I’m so glad to see all my children together again.”
“Including me!” Chimed in King. “I’m the baby, gotta love me!”
“Yes, we do, now please never say that again.” Agreed Luz. “Also, I think Hunter might be the baby…”
“Am not!”
Vee then gave Hunter a concerned look. “So, I heard the cancer turned into a kaiju? And it’s… really dead this time?”
“It is.” Confirmed Hunter, and the last shred of doubt Vee had left her.
“I know Luz got to fight him, but did you at least get a few knocks in?” Questioned Vee.
Hunter shook his head. “No, and I’m fine with that. I told the cancer that I never want to see him again, and thanks to Luz, I never have to. It’s over. It’s finally over.”
“...I’m glad.”
Suddenly, Luz enfolded them both in her furry arms.
“Sibling hug!” Luz exclaimed. “Man, I love family reunions! Which is why, Vee, I also want to introduce you to the rest of ours!”
Vee cocked an eyebrow. “The rest?”
Hunter paled. “Run.”
But it was too late. “First up: our second mother Eda, and our nobi Raine!” Announced Luz.
“Heya kids!” Exclaimed Eda as she barged into the room. “It’s great to finally see you! Now, where do you keep your silverware and Human Realm Apple Blood?”
“Eda, no.” Muttered an exasperated Raine. “Also, Luz, while I genuinely appreciate the thought, I’m not your nobi. Eda and I…I mean… we aren’t… that is to say I’d like to, but…”
“ Oh ? What would you like to, Rainestorm?” Said Eda, an eyebrow raised and a smug look on her face. Raine couldn’t help but blush at that.
Masha gasped, eyes sparkling. “A non-binary witch? Cool! Please, if you can, teach me everything you know!”
Raine looked at Masha weirdly and adjusted their glasses. “What? Well, I already have three students, but I suppose I can make room for a fourth… Can you play an instrument?”
“No, but I’d like to!” Said Masha eagerly.
“Mmm… I’ll think about it.”
“And these are their kids- which makes them our future step-siblings- Derwin, Katya and Amber!” Luz announced as the three young witches entered the house.
“Luz, I already told you, they’re my students, not my children.” Said Raine.
“Yes they are.” Said Eda.
“Yeah we are.” Agreed the trio.
Raine blushed harder.
“And this is Cool Aunt Lilith!” Continued Luz
“Eda, the banisters in this realm look near-identical to the ones in ours! But why?” Said Lilith as she poked her head into the room. “Is it convergent design evolution? A potential cross-realm idea exchange? I have to learn more!”
“Huh, she really is a cool aunt.” Mused Masha to themselves.
“And Abuela Gwen and Abuelo Dell!”
“Oh my goodness, I have a basilisk for a granddaughter!” Said Gwendolyn, pinching Vee’s cheeks. “And two Titans as my other grandchildren, who saved the world to boot! That’ll definitely shut up that snobby harlot Deboroth, going on and on about how her children are ‘high up in the covens’, especially since those are as dead as the cancer!”
“And I have a grandson who will be my apprentice, and help continue the family business of carving Palisman.” Said Dell as he patted Hunter on the shoulder. “That’s more than good enough for me.”
“Thank you, Mr. Clawthorne. You have no idea how much this means to me.” Whispered Hunter, tearing up.
“And here’s Hunter’s dad and his platonic life partner, Darius and Eberwolf!” Said Luz.
“Wait, the Coven Heads?!” Exclaimed Vee.
“ Former Coven Heads. So, this is the Human Realm I’ve heard so much about?” Said Darius as he and Eberwolf entered the room. “I have to say, so far, I’m not impressed.”
Camila gave Darius a dirty look, before snapping her attention to Eberwolf. “Hey! Not on the houseplants! Either do it outside,or in the bathroom!”
Eberwolf rolled their eyes and lowered their hind leg.
“And these are your future cousins and uncle-in-law, Edric, Emira and Alador Blight!”
“Heya, cuties!” Chirped Emira, winking to Vee and Masha.
“More new family!” Exclaimed Edric, still in the body cast. “I’d hug you, but apparently I’m not supposed to break my arms again.”
“Wait, where’s dad?” Asked a concerned Amity.
“Oh, he’s taking apart that weird machine outside.” Said Emira.
“...My car!” Exclaimed Camila before rushing outside.
“You also have an aunt-in-law, but we didn’t bring her along because she’s terrible and everybody hates her guts.” Said Luz.
“And also because she’s going to prison.” Added Amity. “Y’know, once they actually build the prison.”
“I will not visit her there!” Finished Edric happily.
“Now, normally, I’m opposed to prisons out of pure principle, but considering who we’re talking about, it’s for the best they lock her up and throw away the key.” Agreed Eda. “In fact, I can think of a few other people I’d like to see in there with her…”
“Also, there’s Hooty, Eda’s house demon who basically defies any sort of description and is currently outside… flirting with our house.” Grimaced Luz.
“Say good lookin’, when was the last time you had your gutters cleaned?” Came probably the most horrific voice Vee and Masha had ever heard from outside. “That’s some niiiiice siding you got there… and I love me a house with thick, sturdy foundations!”
“Hooty, cut that out!” Yelled Camila from outside as well. “And Mr. Blight stop dismantling my engine block this instant!”
“Don’t worry, Miss Noceda, I know what I’m doing.” Said the tired voice of Alador Blight. Suddenly, there was the sound of an explosion.
“Or, maybe I don’t.”
Camila started swearing at him in Spanish.
“And this is Steve and his little brother Mattholomule!” Finished Luz, gesturing to an incredibly cool-looking horned witch wearing a leather jacket, and his dorky-looking brother. “They’re not necessarily a part of the family, but Matt’s best friends with Gus, and Steve’s immensely popular for some inexplicable reason, so we brought them along anyway.”
“Hey.” Said Steve as Mattholomule gave Luz a dirty look.
“And that’s everyone! Right?” Said Luz, to which the others made various noises of agreement. “Yep, that’s everyone in our extended family!”
Vee couldn’t help but tear up in joy. Before, she used to be a lost soul, who had only ever experienced pain and torture at the hands of the cancer and his lackeys. But now? She was living her best life, with an awesome partner, a loving mother, two amazing siblings, and plenty of wonderful friends, and that was before she met the rest of Luz’s friends and family at this very moment!
“Gosh, Vee, your family sure is insane…” Whispered Masha in adoration.
“Tell me about it…” Replied Vee.
“And I’m so looking forward to being a part of it.” Continued Masha, gently grabbing hold of Vee’s hand.
Vee was about to respond to Masha, but a question that had been nagging in the back of her mind beat it to the punch. “Wait, why did you bring everyone here instead of bringing me and Masha to The Boiling Isles?”
“Well, you know how most of the people on our street moved out seemingly out of nowhere?” Said Luz sheepishly. Vee nodded. “Well, with all the damage caused by both The Collector and the cancer when he possessed the Titan, everybody here’s moving to the Human Realm until the Demon Realm fully heals.”
“Wait, they’re wha-.”