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Sean knew he was staring. As he sat on the bed in Marion’s room, his eyes locked onto the scar that had spread across the other man’s chest. He wanted to touch it. No, he needed to. He needed to make sure that Marion was still here, not one of those things that he had seen long ago.
The scar was on his neck. He could see the blue veins curling around Marion’s collarbones, crawling up and curling around the base of his neck. It looked painful.
Sean felt a wave of pure shame fill his body. He should’ve protected him. This was his damn fault.
He let out a small sigh, watching as Marion pulled a night shirt over his head.
“I can feel you staring,” Marion muttered, turning towards Sean with crossed arms.
“What, ya’ got eyes in the back of your head now?”
“No. You’re just very obvious,” Marion muttered. The shorter man sighed, sitting next to Sean on the bed and giving a pointed look.
“You’re drifting again.”
“Am not,” Sean hissed, clenching his fists and nudging Marion away. “You don’t gotta worry about me. You’re the injured one here.”
“Then why are you staring at me like I’m a dead man walking?” Marion asked gently.
Sean’s eyes averted, landing on the small embroidered flowers on Marion’s nightshirt. They were pretty. He was pretty sure it was lavender.
“Sean?”
Sean’s head snapped up. “Yeah?”
“Are you going to answer my question?”
“I don’t think such a stupid question deserves an answer,” Sean fired back, standing up and beginning to walk to the door.
“Are you just gonna leave, then?” Marion asked, his voice full of hurt.
Sean immediately shook his head. “No. No, of course not. I’m just goin’ down to get me some joe. I’m not gonna be able to sleep. I can already feel it.”
Before Sean could even open the door, Marion was there. Holding his wrist.
Marion gave a sigh.
“Sean. I’m okay. It’s not your fault.”
Sean felt something snap.
“It is my fault! I should’ve protected you! You’re…”
Marion gave Sean that look. The look that Marion gave whenever he was daring Sean to say something stupid.
“You think I can’t take care of myself?”
“I know you can take care of yourself, Mar!”
”Then why do you hover over me like you’re my damn mother?”
“Because what if I wanna take care of you?” Sean choked out desperately, feeling his entire body clench as he said the words. “You’re amazin’, and you’ve saved my damn life, and I just… what if I wanna protect you? What if you’re the only thing that I even have worth protectin’?”
Sean’s hands desperately grabbed Marion’s arms, as if the other man would disappear if he didn’t touch him. Sean didn’t have anything else. He had nobody to come home to.
Except for Marion.
Hell, at this point, Marion was his damn home.
“I can’t lose that. I almost did. I… I’m not goin’ through this again. I lost you for a year. I nearly lost you down there. I’m not doin’ it anymore. I can’t handle it, Mar,” Sean rasped.
He could feel the familiar dread washing over him, the feeling of pure disgust that he felt towards himself erupting in his body. There was a reason he didn’t look in mirrors anymore. He couldn’t handle whatever would be staring back. He didn’t want to know, and he didn’t care.
Marion’s eyes. Those eyes. That was all he could see as he shot down soldier after soldier, creature after creature. That was what he was fighting for. He was fighting so that he could finally make those eyes brighten.
He still remembered whenever he bought Marion those beautiful spools of thread from a local clothing shop. It had cost him a pretty penny, but the sight of those eyes brightening, of that voice exclaiming in joy, of those arms wrapped around him in a tight hug. He still remembered how he laughed breathlessly as Marion hugged him.
He remembered that as the first time he ever truly realized what Marion meant to him.
Sean had always been… off. As a teenager, he’d look at pretty girls, sure, but he’d look at handsome men, too. Of course, that second part was always kept to himself. He knew that his ma wouldn’t care. She’d just be happy that Sean had loved someone before.
Still, Sean felt that part of himself glow as he looked at those pretty brown eyes.
It took Sean a second to realize that Marion had helped him sit back down, that Marion had wrapped a blanket around him. He was shivering. Why was he shivering? When did he start shivering?
Sean gave a grunt, squeezing his eyes shut as he buried his hands in his hair.
He could hear Marion protesting, but it was all a buzz. One of his hands was slowly removed from his hair, and he could feel soft yet calloused hands holding his own. Sean looked down.
Marion had Sean’s hand cupped in both of his own, rubbing across Sean’s slightly larger hand with his thumb.
“Sean? Come back to me, man. It’s okay. I promise, it’s okay. I’m okay.”
Sean didn’t realize he was crying until he subconsciously wiped the tears away. He gave another grunt, this one much more frustrated as he stared at his free hand.
Why was he crying? He was fucking pathetic. Marion nearly died, and he was sitting here, like a damn idiot-
Sean wrapped his arms around Marion, gathering the shorter man in his arms. He buried his face in the other man’s shoulder, holding Marion as close as he could. He couldn’t let go. The last time he had let go, he had watched as a horrible creature tried to take Marion from him.
Marion let out a small gasp that turned into a sigh. His own arms wrapped around Sean’s body, his hand running through Sean’s hair. Sean gave a deep sob, his entire body still shaking.
“Don’t leave. Please don’t leave me. I can’t… not you. I can handle anythin’ the world throws at me… except for you dyin’ on me. Please, Mar. Please.”
Marion squeezed him tightly.
“I’m not leaving. I’m okay. It’s okay, Sean. Look at me.”
Sean pulled his head back, his hands immediately cupping Marion’s face. He kept sobbing as he stared at Marion. He knew he must look like a mess, but he didn’t care anymore.
Well, that was a lie. He did care. He wasn’t supposed to break. He was supposed to keep going. However, this was Marion. Marion had seen Sean at his worst and was still here.
Marion gave a small smile, his own hands cupping Sean’s face. They were so warm, so soft, so big.
“I’m right here. I’m okay.”
“You’re not… and it’s my damn fault.”
“Bullshit. I pushed Auntie Bee out of the way. I took that blast of bleed voluntarily. If anything, it’s my fault.”
Sean’s eyes narrowed. “Don’t you fuckin’ say that. It’s not your fault that you protected someone.”
“And it’s not your fault that you can’t protect everyone.”
Sean gave a sigh, still cupping Marion’s face. “You’re as stubborn as a damn mule.”
“Who do you think I got that from?” Marion smiled. Sean felt a soft pressure against his cheek, and he realized it was Marion’s lips.
Sean felt himself flush. His tears had slowed, still slowly dripping down his cheeks, but now he had another problem to worry about.
“I… what was that for?” Sean muttered.
“A warning for what I’m about to do.”
Sean felt his eyes widen as Marion’s lips pressed against his own. Fuck. It felt… nice. It felt like it had always been this way, like they had done this before. Marion’s lips tasted like beeswax, probably from that lip balm that he had been given by Auntie Bee a few weeks back.
Soft lips. Firm face. Strong jaw. Scratchy beard. Marion’s face was beautiful.
Sean’s eyes fluttered shut, his hands tightening their grip on Marion’s face as he kissed back. He could feel the pure warmth that was Marion’s body overwhelming his hatred towards himself.
Sean was the first to pull back, kissing across Marion’s jawline and sucking a small spot beneath the other man’s ear.
Sean could feel the moan that Marion let out, could hear how pretty it sounded. It was deep yet smooth, with his voice breaking a little. Fuck, Sean wanted that sound engraved on a damn record. He needed to hear that pretty noise over and over again, needed to watch as Marion fell apart at his hands.
“Sean, I can’t cover that up—” Marion began, cutting himself off with a little hitch of breath as Sean’s teeth softly nipped at his skin.
“I don’t want you to,” Sean immediately replied, kissing Marion again. His tears were gone, the self-hatred being replaced with a need to lay himself bare before this man. His feelings, his want, his everything.
Sean pulled back, his eyes full of… love. Yeah. Sean thought that was a good description.
“I love you. I… fuck, I think I’m in love with you. I think I have been ever since we separated for that year. That was the worst year of my damn life,” Sean spilled, his pale skin turning a shade of pink.
Marion’s skin then flushed to a beautiful shade of red. His face lit up with that little grin. It was the one that Sean likes the most, the one that showed that Marion was truly happy.
“Glad we’re on the same page,” Marion muttered with a glance, looking off to the side. After a moment, he looked back to Sean, and Sean could see the pure joy in the other man’s eyes.
Sean gave one of his familiar breathy cackles, and kissed Marion again.