Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A “moment,” a time in one's life that spans hardly an instant yet lasts forever, where nothing else matters but everything it contains.

Tsukishima Kei has never experienced that “moment,” for volleyball or otherwise. Bokuto's impassioned speech had sent a thrill down Kei's spine, yet he wonders if it could really happen to someone as uncaring and derisive as him. He wonders if seeking that thrill had driven his brother to lying and wasting his youth. He wonders if it would mean anything afterwards -- but for some reason, he wants to try. The lure of that “moment” somehow appeals to his logical, rational mind -- the chance to feel something.

He wants that moment. He wants to feel an emotion beyond contempt, whether for volleyball or anything else. Maybe he's just tired of everyone else improving, while he merely watches their backs as they walk away.

He does not want to be left behind.

If Tsukishima Kei has never experienced that “moment,” then Hinata Shouyou must live in it, with his exhilaration every time he plays volleyball.

Kei wants that, too, though for the longest time, he desperately pretends otherwise.

“I told you already, I'm not dating Kageyama!”

At the ominous declaration, Kei stops just outside the gym doors, rough terrycloth rubbing at his mouth as it twitches downward. His trip to the bathroom hadn't even taken three minutes. Which of their rivals had pissed off Hinata now?

“Aw, but look at your cheeks flushing!” Haiba announces, and Hinata growls.

“You asked me this at lunch and I told you the truth! Leave it alone!”

“But Tsukishima called Kageyama your partner, didn't he?”

“Yeah, in volleyball! He's an asshole, why would I date him anyway?”

“So it matters that it's Kageyama, not that he's a guy?” Haiba asks slyly, and silence stretches for a moment, as if everyone took a breath. Waiting.

There is a rough slap against skin that makes Kei wince. Kuroo must have reached them.

“That's enough, Lev. Looks like it's time for more receives for you,” Kuroo threatens, and Kei takes that as his cue to enter the gym.

Hinata hasn't said a word. Kei glances at him and tosses his towel onto his bag, his gaze narrowing as he considers Hinata's expression and posture. Lips pressed white, eyes narrowed and flashing, shoulders pulled in tight. His hands are clenched. Kei sighs; why did they have to bring this nonsense up? Nobody really cares about the oddball duo, or whether or not they are secretly dating.

Especially him. Kei really, really does not care.

Akaashi and Bokuto appear bewildered by the conversation, but Kei is not about to enlighten them, and it seems Hinata isn't, either. “Are we going to continue?” Kei asks instead, stopping beside Hinata and raising an eyebrow at Kuroo, who has Haiba in a headlock.

Akaashi and Bokuto exchange a glance, before Akaashi shrugs. “It's about time we got dinner, anyway.” Bokuto ruffles Hinata's thick hair as they pass, and Hinata lets out a deep sigh, the agitation in his demeanor fading. In the same breath, the strained atmosphere diminishes, released with Hinata's frustration.

After gathering his bag, Hinata runs up to catch Bokuto, arms waving as he asks about the secret move Bokuto had taught him earlier. Kei watches the back of his head, but Hinata never looks back at him. He wonders if Hinata noticed him standing outside; he wonders at Haiba's question and Hinata's silence.

Interesting.

He notices Kuroo watching him, but Kei only stares back until Kuroo snorts and looks away, dragging Haiba with him. Soon Haiba is bothering Hinata again, brushing off his wary responses with a grin, but there are no more awkward questions, only rapid-fire exchanges about volleyball. As it should be.

Kei would rather not hear anything about Kageyama and Hinata again.

He did not expect Yamaguchi's interest, though.

“Did you hear about Kageyama and Hinata, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi whispers to him that night, yet Kei's annoyed glare is not enough to make Yamaguchi back off. Yamaguchi has been more confident ever since their confrontation yesterday, which Kei supposes is a good thing, but he already misses the time when he could easily avoid awkward conversations by scaring Yamaguchi off topic.

“No, and I don't care,” Kei informs him, reaching for his toothpaste. Unfortunately, Yamaguchi persists.

“Lev said he saw them kissing this morning. He confronted Hinata about it after lunch, and Hinata lost his temper pretty badly. Kageyama, too,” Yamaguchi adds in an undertone, and Kei glances in the mirror to see Kageyama glaring at Hinata across the room. “Both of them said they weren't kissing, but...”

Kissing, of all things? His fingers tighten around the tube. Of the first years, Kageyama and Hinata fight the most, even worse than the silent rivalry between him and Kageyama. He can't imagine them dating, let alone in any kind of intimacy. It just seems wrong.

“Do you really think those two have enough brain cells to manage a relationship, let alone with each other?” Kei replies, not bothering to keep his voice down. He smirks when Hinata and Kageyama both bristle, but Hinata's eyes widen and he almost looks panicked when his reflection meets Kei's gaze.

Kei recognizes that panic, and suddenly, he doesn't want to play this game any longer.

“In any case, it doesn't matter if they date each other, or if they don't,” he tells Yamaguchi, and he endures the awkward silence as he brushes his teeth. When he spits, he wipes his mouth calmly and turns around to find Kageyama glaring at him now and Hinata focusing, perhaps too hard, on his bag.

“For the last fucking time, we weren't kissing! I'm not gay!” Kageyama fumes. Kei eyes him dubiously.

“You mean you actually have a preference? How terrible,” he taunts, smirking at the incensed glare that takes over Kageyama's face. “I feel sorry for whatever girl you have your eye on. I thought you only liked volleyball.”

“Tsukishima!” Kageyama snarls, but Hinata grabs the back of his shirt before he can leap forward. Kei ignores Kageyama's fury and turns back to his bag, rummaging for his cup.

“If you weren't kissing, then why did Haiba-san think you were?” Kei asks, meeting Hinata's eyes in the mirror.

For a moment Hinata stays silent, but his eyes are clear when he answers. “I said something to piss Kageyama off, and he grabbed my face. And it hurt! Why'd you do that anyway, Kageyama-kun?” Hinata whines, and Kageyama huffs.

“You were being a dumbass. It's instinct.”

“Hey!”

Kei rolls his eyes at the argument, then glances over at Yamaguchi, a little wary as he does not know how Yamaguchi feels about homosexuality. Yamaguchi looks uncomfortable, and Kei's heart sinks.

“What about Hinata, though?” Yamaguchi whispers. Kei wishes he would let it go.

“It doesn't matter, does it?” Kei mutters back. He does not want to hear this.

Yamaguchi shifts nervously. “But if Hinata likes guys, that's a little...”

Out of the corner of his eye, Kei sees Hinata stiffen. He doesn't let Yamaguchi finish that. “What does it matter? Hinata didn't join the club to scout for a boyfriend. He's a volleyball freak. Nobody cares.”

“Tsukishima, shut your mouth about him!” Kageyama interjects, catching Kei's attention.

Kei raises an eyebrow, a small smirk stealing across his mouth. “I already said I don't care. I know your hearing is limited, but really...”

Kageyama strains forward, but Hinata quickly steps in front of him, meeting Kei's gaze briefly before pulling Kageyama away, muttering something Kei doesn't catch. He doesn't look at Yamaguchi as he heads for the door.

“Wait, Hinata, I don't care either! It doesn't matter to me,” Yamaguchi is quick to say, apologetic and sincere enough that Hinata pauses, glancing over his shoulder. The tightness in his mouth eases a little.

“We really aren't dating, you know,” Hinata tells them, and even though Kageyama puffs up protectively, Kei thinks Hinata is telling the truth. Whatever happened this morning, it seems that Haiba mistook what he saw. “And we didn't kiss. I wouldn't do that with this guy,” he declares, pointing at Kageyama's face, and neatly dodges a grab at his hair.

“Shut it, dumbass!” Kageyama snaps, and Hinata laughs and dances away, barely missing hitting his head as he ducks into the hall and Kageyama gives chase. Yamaguchi breathes out a sigh, uncertain. Kei gathers his toiletries, stuck on Hinata's short glance and wondering what it means.

“Do you think he likes guys, then?” Yamaguchi asks softly, lingering by the sink.

“Does it bother you if he does?” Kei counters, glancing out the door, but everyone is gone.

Yamaguchi is silent for a moment, then he shakes his head, his gaze lingering on Kei's face. “No, I told him the truth. It doesn't matter to me if he does. I shouldn't have said that before... I guess it's just habit, to think that way about it.”

Kei flips off the light as they leave, his eyes narrowing in the shadows of the hallway. The night is quiet, everyone tired from a long day of practice, and it is Kei's favorite time. If he could, he would go sit and read somewhere with his music on, so that he wouldn't have to think about this. Spending too much time with his teammates leaves him exhausted, and he wishes this conversation was over. “It's a bad habit, but habits can be broken,” he replies quietly, and he tries to ignore Yamaguchi's sudden attention.

“Why aren't you teasing him about it? Usually you're the first one to attack Hinata over something like this.”

Kei doesn't reply for a moment. He hasn't really talked about this with anyone, not even his brother, and Yamaguchi may be his friend, but it's not something he really cares to share. Especially if Yamaguchi is uncomfortable with homosexuality.

“Who likes whom, and things like that, don't matter to me. Hinata makes himself a target for plenty of other reasons,” he says finally, and Yamaguchi doesn't ask him again.

When the lights are off and everyone has collapsed, Kei lays awake, his thoughts jumbling and twisting over Hinata's strange reactions, not allowing him rest. Hinata's futon is beside his, and for once the worst offender of annoying bed habits is not disturbing his peace. Kei opens his eyes and looks to the side; he can only see that Hinata is turned away from him, entirely too still for someone who fidgets and flails even in slumber.

With Hinata's near-constant blushes around Shimizu, he hadn't considered that Hinata might like guys, too.

He does express a lot of admiration for the strong types in volleyball, Kei muses, but mostly about height and ability. Does he even have a type? Tall, dark, and strong? That would be Kageyama, but apparently not...

Thinking about it bothers him. Hinata never actually agreed that he liked guys, but Kei heard what was left unsaid. He suspects that Hinata has, at least, told Kageyama, and that Kageyama otherwise doesn't care. Whatever confrontation had happened between those two idiots, he hadn't pushed Hinata away because of his sexuality when they had fought -- just over Hinata, finally, putting his brain to use for his volleyball tactics. (Seriously, what was Kageyama thinking anyway...)

Yamaguchi's reaction had been unexpected. Kei is not too surprised, though; most people react like that, especially athletes. He won't be the one to react badly to Hinata liking guys, though, even if his lack of action draws attention.

It would be hypocritical to tease someone else about liking the same gender, after all.

The next morning, the awkwardness of yesterday seems to have faded with the night, and they finish the last day of training camp without further drama. Hinata and Kageyama continue to be morons, Yamaguchi laughs at Kei's snarky comments, and all is right with the world.

Kei is pleased with his own increase in ability, however small it is. Blocking has never felt satisfying before now; he can see why, just a little bit, everyone is so enamored with the game. The whole team seems to have leveled up, so to speak, and Kei is just glad that they can go home soon. Before that, though, he is forced to watch all five teams descend into chaos over barbecue, much to his distaste, but at least the awkwardness is gone.

Kei pushes the idea of Hinata liking guys to the back of his mind.

At least for a little while, until Akaashi sidles up beside him while he watches Hinata beam at Bokuto, flailing over something or another.

“What was that argument about, last night?” Akaashi asks in an undertone, arms crossed, and Kei frowns at him.

“You're asking me? I wasn't even there,” he says cautiously, and Akaashi raises an eyebrow at him.

“Saw you standing outside. Did Hinata say anything afterwards? About if he likes guys?”

“No,” Kei says after a moment, longingly thinking of escaping and knowing he would probably be chased by someone. “Does it really matter? Why do you want to know?”

“I'm asking for a friend,” Akaashi replies, vague as can be, but Kei notices his eyes dart to Bokuto, and he suddenly, irrationally, feels irritated, and it slips into his tone.

“As if I would know. Hinata and I aren't exactly close.”

“Sorry, I was just asking.” Akaashi holds up his hands in apology, and Kei sighs explosively, watching Bokuto swing Hinata around. He notices Kuroo lurking nearby, probably listening, and has to stifle his irritation.

“Whether or not Hinata likes guys, or likes anyone here, that's not my business. If someone else likes him,” he continues casually, glancing at Bokuto and watching Akaashi stiffen, “perhaps that person should ask him themselves.”

“It's not that my... friend likes him, or anything,” Akaashi explains, faintly exasperated. “Just that it'd be nice if he had someone who was like him. So that they could talk about it without worrying about getting upset because his other friends don't understand.”

Kei stares at him until Akaashi frowns. Even if he respects the vice-captain for his skills, sometimes he is amazed at the bigotry of people. “What's hard to understand? You either like someone or you don't. Gender doesn't matter. If your friend can't talk about it to you, that seems more your problem, than something Hinata should have to deal with.”

“It's not that,” Akaashi mutters, dark eyes narrowing in irritation. “It's that he gets so depressed because he thinks he's all alone, and it's hard to cheer him up. It'd just be nice, okay, if he wasn't.”

“You should have said so,” Kei replies after a moment, satisfied with Akaashi's response. “Anyway, like I said, I don't know for sure about Hinata, and I'm not about to ask.”

“Well, do you have his email, by chance? Maybe, uh, my friend could use it.”

Kei rolls his eyes, his mouth twitching downward. He does have Hinata's email, from the dark days of “tutoring” the oddball duo, but he can't see how giving it to Akaashi's “friend” (who is currently bouncing around with Hinata, gesturing wildly) would be good for anyone. Hinata's messages are often full of too many exclamation marks and strange faces, and he sends them at the worst times. Kei tried to ban him from sending them so often, then had to block Hinata for a while, until the idiot finally got the hint.

No one should have to deal with that sort of nonsense.

“Surely there is someone else who your friend could talk to.”

“Not really, except some suspicious characters I don't really trust,” Akaashi admits, and Kei sighs. Himself and Hinata excluded, he's noticed at least three other guys checking out their teammates from the other schools. He hadn't realized Bokuto was also into guys, though.

“Look harder,” he drawls, turning his attention to Hinata again and ignoring Akaashi's blank stare. After a moment, he senses someone at his back and looks behind him to see Kuroo loitering with his usual smirk. Speaking of suspicious characters...

“If you want the shrimp's email, Akaashi, I can give it to you. Kenma gave it to me ages ago,” he chimes in, and a scowl twitches at the corners of Kei's eyes. He keeps a bland expression, though, not wanting to give Kuroo the satisfaction.

“Listening to other people's conversations is rude,” he says instead of showing his irritation that other people have Hinata's email. It shouldn't be a surprise; he knows Kozume and Hinata text every day, and Kuroo is Kozume's best friend.

He is surprised at his own irritation, though.

“You're the last one who should be saying that, Tsukki,” Kuroo leers. Kei wonders just how many people realized he was waiting outside last night, listening, then tells himself it doesn't matter.

“Thanks, Kuroo-san,” Akaashi interrupts cautiously, pulling out his phone. “I'd like yours, too, Tsukishima, if that's okay. Bokuto-san wants it as well. He said he wants to talk to you.”

“Fine,” Kei replies, bemused. Kuroo wastes no time in joining the exchange, and soon Kei has three new entries in his contacts. Annoying, but at least Akaashi, Bokuto, and Kuroo won't be emailing him at random times with loads of exclamation points and bad Japanese, unlike a certain short middle blocker nearby.

He hopes, anyway.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: hi tsukki!!!
Message: Hey Akaashi gave me your email! Are you really gay? That's awesome!

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: What? Why do you think that I'm gay?

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: Akaashi said you are! You mean you're not?

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: ...I didn't say that.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: Yes!!! I knew it! Me too! How long have you known?

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: Since first year in middle school, I guess. I didn't tell Akaashi-san, though.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: Well tbh he said he wasn't sure but I watched you a lot during camp and thought you were. Especially since you kept watching the shorty!!! Too bad he's with your setter

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: What?! You mean Hinata? Where do I even start... First, he's not dating Kageyama, they're only friends. Second, I wasn't watching him at all.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: Oh well if you say so~ :D but I'm glad you're gay too!! I realized it last year and there's no one else on the team like me, though a lot of people in the basketball club are. Is it like that for your basketball club??

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: I wouldn't know. Most of the people I talk to are classmates or in the volleyball club. But seriously, why would you think I was watching Hinata? Because I wasn't.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: Don't worry Tsukki I won't tell anyone. Who would I tell??? Kuro already knows anyway

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: What.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: Oops hahaha well he was the one who pointed it out

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: hi tsukki!!!
Message: ...I'm going to ignore you now.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: TSUKKI NO
Message: NO WAIT!!! I have so many questions for you!!! Tsukki no pay attention to meeee

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: TSUKKI NO
Message: Ohh, now you're begging me? I suppose I'll listen.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: TSUKKI NO
Message: Hahaha so cheeky for a first year!

Kei pointedly doesn't think about Hinata's preferences again. Not when Bokuto sends him emails asking about what kind of guys he prefers, which he usually ignores in favor of the slightly more interesting messages about volleyball tactics, nor when Kuroo pisses him off with constant sly, winking faces. His inbox has never been so full, and Kei is tempted to block them both, except it seems too much trouble.

He does realize that the basketball club has a bizarrely high number of gay first and second years. He doesn't know much about the third years, but he suspects them, too, given the percentage from the junior members of the team. One of them is in his class, and the fact that the guy made an effort to talk to Hinata the other day as he was leaving (and making faces at Kei on the way out) irritates him. After that, he tells Hinata not to ask him any more questions about English class during school hours, and Hinata pouts and grumbles to Kageyama that Yachi is a better tutor anyway.

That irritates Kei, too.

But he ignores it. He doesn't think about Hinata blushing around their manager, or around the vice-captain of the basketball club when he visits Sawamura. He doesn't care.

He absolutely does not care.

“Who sends you so many messages?” Yamaguchi asks him next week in the club room. They have two days until the preliminaries, enough time that their seniors are visibly worn around the edges, and Hinata has been bouncing off the walls in anticipation. It's taken everything Kei has not to throw him off the gym roof.

“Bokuto-san,” Kei replies without thinking, then considers his message history. “And Kuroo-san, though I mostly ignore those.”

Yamaguchi's surprise amuses him for a moment, but Hinata's reaction sours his mood.

“You mean Fukurodani's ace?” Hinata exclaims, materializing at Kei's side, wide eyes gleaming with interest. “You're friends with him? What did he say?”

“None of your business,” Kei snaps, opening his locker in Hinata's face. Hinata yelps as the door hits his nose, and Kei snorts, flashing a superior look over his shoulder as Hinata sulks off, griping about Kei under his breath.

Kei has not reduced his antagonism for the oddball duo. Hinata's fuming face fills him with vindictive glee every time a comment hits home. Kei does not, however, use Hinata's sexuality as a source for his amusement. Hinata seems puzzled by Kei's neutrality on the subject, but he takes it in hand, given he doesn't go out of his way to tell people he likes guys. Kageyama seems to think differently, however, to judge by his glares -- not that Kei really cares.

Still, it is annoying when Kageyama chooses to confront him about it.

“What's your problem?” Kageyama snarls into Kei's face, fists clenching his shirt. Moments before, he had slammed Kei into the clubroom wall, after Hinata and Yamaguchi had disappeared downstairs.

“What's this?” Kei drawls, his lips twitching upward. “What have I done to offend you today, your majesty?”

“Don't call me that,” Kageyama retorts, shoving Kei again. “I'm talking about Hinata! You haven't said a word about him being gay, and I want to know why! You're the type of asshole to save it for some nasty prank, but you better not tell anybody!”

Kei's smirk fades, and he stares Kageyama down until he lets go of Kei's clothes. Kei takes a moment to straighten his jacket, flicking at the black cloth, pleased at Kageyama's bristling reaction. “I've said it before, I don't care if Hinata likes guys. I'm not going to tell the school, because nobody cares about some first year's preferences.” He knows better, anyway; in small towns, the softest whisper carries the loudest. Kei leans down to pick up his bag and meets Kageyama's furious gaze. “What Hinata tells everyone is his choice. Though fantastic job, your highness, on not noticing the obvious. Hinata's not gay.”

That shakes Kageyama out of his stupefied daze. “What the fuck do you mean? Of course he is, he told me himself,” Kageyama retorts, then claps a hand over his mouth. Kei snorts; so much for keeping a secret.

“He likes girls, too, idiot. It's called bisexuality. Maybe if you opened a dictionary once in a while...” Kageyama only stares at him, and Kei exhales in irritation. “Can I go now, or do you have some other grievance with me?”

Kageyama remains silent, and Kei gives a hint of his usual smirk and steps out the door -- only to find Hinata standing outside, his face unusually pale in the shadows.

“What,” Kei snaps, unnerved, Hinata's flinch riling him further.

“Nothing,” Hinata replies after a moment, glancing past him to Kageyama. “Coach wants to talk to Kageyama, so...”

Kageyama curses and shoves past Kei, leaving him alone with Hinata, a rarity. Hinata fidgets for a moment, clearly wanting to ask Kei something, and Kei sighs again.

“What is it?” he repeats, tone no longer biting, and Hinata hesitantly meets Kei's eyes.

“Just -- thanks for explaining it to him. He doesn't really get it, and no one else seems to either... that I like both,” Hinata mutters, his gaze dropping to his shoes.

Kei accepts the admission silently; he doesn't know what else to say. His chest feels hot with confrontation, with anger and irritation that he doesn't know how to expel. He wants to shout at Hinata, but he knows Hinata did nothing to deserve it this time, so he just nods, stilted, and brushes past him. “I get it,” he grunts, and the tightness in his chest eases a little when Hinata's face lights up.

“Thanks, Tsukishima!” Hinata bounces on the balls of his feet, following him with a wide smile, and it irritates Kei like nothing else.

“Stop that.”

“Nah, I don't think I will! You're not so bad, you know,” Hinata tells him, bright and cheery again, and Kei can't have that.

He flicks Hinata hard between his eyebrows, grinning when Hinata yelps and flails, immediately reduced to calling Kei terribly lame names.

“Stupid-shima! Jerk-shima! Dumbass-shima!” Hinata rubs at his forehead and sticks out his tongue. He's pouting again, Kei notices.

“You'll never get a boyfriend talking like that,” Kei sings out, chuckling to himself, though he quickly realizes that the responding silence is rather different than the usual heated anger to his quips. He looks back to see Hinata watching him curiously, something flushing his cheeks.

“What?” Kei asks slowly, frowning at him.

“You usually don't comment on it,” Hinata replies after a moment, catching up to Kei and pulling the strap of his bag up.

“Everyone else is too awkward about it,” Kei mutters, heading down the stairs. He pauses at the bottom and looks up, seeing Hinata hesitating a few steps above him.

“You really don't mind?”

Hinata's question breaks through the darkness, enveloping Kei in warmth. For the second time in such a short while, Hinata has left him speechless.

“No, I really don't,” Kei murmurs, watching Hinata's face light up again. Even in the darkness, he looks like the sun.

Footsteps catch their attention, and Sugawara materializes out of the shadows, likely to lock up after them. The moment is broken. Hinata leaps down after Kei, waving good-bye to Sugawara excitedly. For some reason, he chooses to walk with Kei, even though he usually waits for Kageyama.

Kei is irritated about it, but more at himself than anything, because he realizes that he's smiling halfway down the hill and he has no idea if Hinata noticed.

After that, Hinata starts emailing Kei again, mostly about volleyball, but sometimes about English homework or what kind of music Kei was listening to that day. Kei suffers the constant alerts silently, but unlike finals week, he doesn't ignore all of them out of spite. Just the really inane ones.

To everyone's surprise, or perhaps not, they make it past the preliminaries, even with a two-meter block in their way. Kei is just relieved that it's over, because the next tournament is in October and they can relax a little.

Even after the last game, Hinata is far too excited. Kei laughs when Tanaka and Nishinoya mock the exclamations Hinata made during one of the sets. He watches Hinata panic and run back upstairs, smirking to himself as he goes outside, flicking his phone open to browse through his playlist. Not surprising that Hinata had forgotten something.

“He'd forget his own head if it wasn't attached,” Kei murmurs, as Yamaguchi chuckles.

Five minutes later, they're still waiting. Sawamura and Sugawara are frowning at the gym entrance, while Nishinoya looks ready to climb the building.

“Where is Kiyoko-san?” Tanaka demands, shifting worriedly, while Nishinoya cranes over his shoulder. “We should go get her.”

“We're waiting on Hinata, too,” Sawamura reminds them, “and don't you dare!” he adds, grabbing both their shirts when the two second years bolt forward. “If you two go after them, we'll never get out of here.” He surveys their group, then fixates on the person closest to the door, much to Kei's displeasure.

“Tsukishima, will you go search for them?” Sawamura asks, smiling pleasantly, and Kei sulks but obediently heads inside.

Of course Hinata would take forever, and of course Kei would have to chase him down, because Kei has the worst luck. He scowls as he climbs to the second floor, then freezes briefly when Hinata's shout echoes down to him, high-pitched with an edge of panic.

“HEY!!!”

Lips twitching downward, Kei climbs the stairs two at a time, breaking into a run when he reaches the hallway. As soon as he rounds the corner, he sees Hinata standing between Shimizu and a group of teenagers, led by a spiky haired punk that immediately makes Kei uncomfortable with the way he is leering at Shimizu... and if he is not mistaken, Hinata as well.

Kei misses most of the exchange, but his appearance is enough to scare off the harassers, especially when he cuts in with a terse, “Captain's waiting.” The spiky haired guy glances at him, then dismisses him and ruffles Hinata's hair, walking off with a wave under Kei's glare.

“Well, seeya. If we end up facing off in the representative playoffs, let's get some fun out of it,” he calls over his shoulder, and Kei does not like the glint in the stranger's eyes as he looks over Hinata one last time.

Hinata rubs the back of his head as he stares after the departing group, visibly frazzled. “He... he gave up on your number Ki... Shimizu-senpai... that's good...”

Shimizu glances at Kei briefly, frowning slightly. “It looked like his attention completely shifted to you,” she replies quietly, then smiles down at Hinata and holds up the forgotten lunch box. “I kinda feel like I should apologize for that. And thanks. Here, you forgot this.”

“Ack!!” Hinata panics, blushing immediately, but Kei has had enough, and he shoves Hinata forward with a hand firmly between his shoulder blades.

“Come on, before they send Tanaka-san and Nishinoya-san up here, too,” he orders, and Hinata makes a face at him before following after Shimizu, gushing over her compliment about his lunchbox wrapping. Kei walks after them while glaring at the back of Hinata's head, wondering if Hinata even realized that the spiky haired punk had been checking him out.

A few days after summer break, Kei collapses against the gym wall to rest, gulping down ice water until his chest no longer burns. Everyone is pushing themselves, practicing harder every day, and Kei cannot see the point of it. He hasn't found that “moment” Bokuto went on about, and he's tired and frustrated every day.

He considers quitting volleyball sometimes, late at night when his playlist reaches an introspective song and leaves him wondering about what it means to work so hard. He thinks of his brother, who worked so hard for nothing, yet still enjoys volleyball even today.

The rift between him and Akiteru is mending, just a little, from finally talking with him. He had ignored Akiteru for years, but when Akiteru cornered him and spoke about that “great feeling,” all Kei could think about was Bokuto's “moment.” He understands Akiteru a little better now, and watching his brother admit to his own failings yet still work hard inspires him -- just a little.

He thinks about Yamaguchi's words about pride. Every day he watches Hinata and the others blaze through practice with determination and vigor, and he can't bring himself to do the same.

He isn't getting it. There is no “moment” for him. Every day he wakes up exhausted and irritated. Akiteru keeps pestering him to join his community practices in Sendai, and club activities are wearing him out. All Kei wants to do is give up and go home.

Thus when he looks up to find Hinata crouching next to him, Kei is not in the best of moods. Hinata, to Kei's consternation, looks as cheerful as ever. Clear brown eyes fix on him with the same vibrant determination that digs under Kei's skin and leaves him unnerved every time they cross paths. Sometimes, he really cannot stand Hinata's confidence.

Unfortunately, Hinata's usual keeper is nowhere to be found. Kei recalls that Kageyama snuck off to Seijou as soon as independent practice started. Great, he thinks. Hinata has been left unsupervised, and that is never good for Kei's blood pressure.

“What,” he grits out, narrowing his eyes forebodingly. Hinata's expression, trusting and expectant, doesn't change, and Kei longs for the days when he could intimidate him.

“You'll be able to stop Ushiwaka, right?” Hinata asks.

Kei stares at him. Where did this idea come from? Kei knows his limits. He might be able to read blocks, but he isn't capable of stopping the spikes of the most powerful aces in Japan. He's already bad at stopping Bokuto's blocks, and Bokuto is in the top five. He can't compare to someone even more powerful than Bokuto.

“Of course not,” Kei finally says, waving a hand as if to brush away the words, and Hinata's expectation with them. “We're talking about one of the top aces in the country. Maybe by some fluke, I guess.”

Hinata immediately protests, “But somebody has to stop Ushiwaka, or we won't be able to defeat Shiratorizawa! I mean, we're middle blockers!”

Kei eyes him curiously. “You're still thinking of going up against the top team in the prefecture? Just how over-confident are you?”

Hinata doesn't reply immediately. His gaze falls and his head tips to the side, ruminating over the question, and it surprises Kei. Usually Hinata challenges every dig at his abilities.

Then Hinata's face settles into that grim, almost terrifying resolution that scares their opponents every time it appears. The same look that he had turned on Kei months and months ago, that night when they had first met. “We have to defeat everyone either way, so they're no different,” Hinata murmurs, meeting Kei's gaze again. His eyes burn with conviction. A thrill runs up Kei's spine.

“You're kind of pissing me off,” Kei mutters after a moment.

“How?!” Hinata squawks, the terrifying expression fading, and suddenly he looks like his usual moronic self again, to Kei's relief. Hinata rolls back on his feet and jumps up, clenching his fists. “If it's impossible for you, then I'll do it!”

A scowl twitches at the corner of Kei's eye, but he keeps his expression bland. He stands slowly, looming over Hinata, sardonically wondering if Hinata could even try, with his height. “It's one thing for me to say it,” he says, looking down into Hinata's bright eyes, “but having someone else say 'it's impossible' pisses me off. Especially if it's you.” Without another word Kei jabs his finger into the crown of Hinata's head, walking away when Hinata cries out in shock and whines about Kei pushing on the pressure point.

“I'm leaving,” he throws over his shoulder, frowning when Hinata follows him to the door.

“What? Where are you going?”

For a moment he ignores Hinata's angry pout, instead pulling out his phone and flipping through the screens. He doesn't want to admit that he is doing this because Hinata doesn't believe in him.

“To practice,” Kei finally replies, pressing on his brother's number. “Bye.”

The call connects seconds after Kei turns his back on Hinata's confusion. He doesn't wait for Akiteru to speak. “Hey, it's Kei. I'll be coming over.” He hangs up on Akiteru's sputtering and leaves to gather his bag, feeling eyes on his back and knowing, without looking, that Hinata is still watching him.

If he can be stronger, if he can experience that “moment,” and be good enough at volleyball to be a challenge to one of the top aces in the nation -- not to mention Hinata, he thinks, then suppresses the image of clear brown eyes -- then he will do it on his own terms.

A part of him acknowledges that no one else can push his buttons so easily. He can accept, for a moment, that he wants to be someone his team can trust to defend them during a game. He can even admit that he wants for Hinata to believe in him. Yet Kei ignores those rebellious thoughts, because they don't matter at the end of the day. Hinata may have inspired him, but Kei made the choice on his own.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: I'm really psyched!!!
Message: Congrats on passing the preliminaries! You're definitely going to defeat Ushijima!!!

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: I'm really psyched!!!
Message: Thank you. You keep saying that, and yet I blocked you only half of the time, when we last practiced.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: TSUKKI.
Message: YOU CAN DO IT. I definitely have faith in you, Tsukki!! It's only natural, given my amazing advice!!!

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: TSUKKI.
Message: Your logic makes no sense... Why are you texting me this early anyway?

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: TSUKKI.
Message: I'm going out of town for the weekend, and I have a special destination in mind! Thus I have a question for you!! Do you have a brother? Or someone other than me who knows you're gay?

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: ...
Message: Why are you asking? I haven't come out to my brother. You, Kuroo-san, and Akaashi-san are the only ones who know.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: Good!!! Then you can depend on me, Tsukki! o(^▽^)o

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: What part of that is good? And stop it with the emoji. You're as bad as Hinata.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: Ohhh? Text him often, do you? Speaking of which, do you know if he has a brother?

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: He just has a little sister. Why aren't you asking him? I know you have his email. Your messages are probably all inane faces and gobbledygook.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: You just don't understand the beauty and grace of emoji! And I don't want to wake him of course!

To: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: ...But you'll wake me up instead? I'm going back to sleep. Stop texting me.

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: COME BACK (T＿T)
Message: Noooooo Tsukki!! It's a long trip and I'm bored!! Come back!!

Sunday. No practice, no school, and usually no contact with the outside world. Sundays are typically Kei's days to catch up on his books and search for new music. The first Sunday in September, though, is the first day in a long time that Kei has nothing to do, and he intends to make good use of the free time.

He needs new head phones, because his current pair has a bit of static in the left side, probably from the rain the other day -- and Kei cannot deal with static. He doesn't want to wait till his birthday. His parents agreed to an early birthday present, so to the music store he goes.

He sets out from his house after breakfast, headphones tucked around his neck and fingers pushed deep into the pockets of his jeans, his sweater sleeves long enough to cover his knuckles. If he can't find new headphones, he might grab the new CD from one of his favorite artists. Even though he could just as easily buy it digital, he prefers having the physical disk, in case his computer dies or he wants to use his old stereo.

He nods to the shopkeeper as he enters, sidestepping the prominent sale displays and heading for his usual aisle. He stops short, though, when he sees a familiar mop of orange hair in front of his destination. Hinata has two CDs in his hands, and his head twists back and forth as he mumbles the titles to himself, tripping over the English even though Kei is positive they studied some of those terms last week.

“Oh, my, what's a young child doing in this section?” he drawls, smirking when Hinata jumps two feet in the air and whirls around, clutching the CDs to his chest.

“Ts-Ts-Ts-Ts-Tsukishima!” Hinata yelps, and to Kei's surprise, he blushes pink and throws the CDs in the air. Kei moves quickly to catch them before they can land and break, and he sighs in exasperation, frowning down at Hinata.

“What are you doing? Idiot.”

Hinata waves his hands, still panicking, but his gaze follows the CDs in Kei's hands. “I, I was just looking! It's nothing!” It's strange to see him out of uniform or workout clothes. The blue of Hinata's hoodie makes his orange hair even brighter. Kei notices that the elbows appear to be worn thin; he wonders if Hinata used to wear it in middle school. He can't have grown too much in the past year.

Kei raises an eyebrow at him and turns one of the CDs over, reading through the glossy red information card, only to realize that he is holding the new CD he had been eyeing online. The second CD is another group that Kei enjoys, one that he plays often. “I didn't know you liked these groups,” he says quietly, handing the CDs back to Hinata.

Hinata is still blushing, and his knuckles bump against one of the bruises on Kei's wrapped fingers. Kei tucks his hands into his pockets, ignoring the small ache. His scrapes and sprains are typical now, with the ongoing practices with Akiteru's team.

“Well, you were playing some of their songs a while ago,” Hinata mumbles, rubbing the back of his head nervously, “and I really liked them. So I wanted to hear more.”

Well. He hadn't expected that. Hinata likes his music? He had asked Kei about a few songs before, but he hadn't shown real interest -- or so Kei had thought. Yamaguchi prefers different genres, and Kageyama has the musical preferences of a plank of wood, so Kei doesn't really have anyone who shares his interest in music.

He likes the idea of Hinata enjoying the same artists. He wonders which songs caught Hinata's interest.

“I haven't heard that one yet, but everyone likes it online,” Kei comments, glancing over at the display. He frowns to see that there are no other copies of the CD; Hinata has, to Kei's misfortune, grabbed the only copy. He wonders if Hinata intends to buy it.

“You mean you don't have it?” Hinata asks, looking up at him in wonder, and Kei shifts uncomfortably. “Crap, then you should take it! This is the last copy! Though, um, can I listen to it sometime?” His eyes flick down, then up at Kei hopefully, before he holds out the red CD again, and after a moment Kei takes it.

Unfortunately, Hinata notices his bandages, and he nearly drops the other CD again. “Tsukishima, what happened to your hands!” he exclaims, his brow crinkling in open worry. Kei has never been the recipient of that expression, and to his eternal irritation, Hinata's concern leaves him flustered.

Kei rolls his eyes and turns the CD over to read the title list again, irritated when his ears start to burn. “It's nothing. Just a sprain from blocking.”

“Have you been to see a doctor? Are you okay? Can you still play volleyball?” Hinata trips over his words as he questions Kei, hovering with small fingers flexing, as if he wants to take Kei's hands and look over his wounds carefully. Kei bats his hands away, turning toward the display to hide his flush.

“Of course I can still play volleyball. It's not a big deal,” he mutters, looking through the remaining titles but not seeing anything he doesn't already have. “If you want to borrow the CD, just send me a message. I need to put it on my computer first. I have that other one as well, if you don't want to buy it.”

“But Tsukishima -- wait, what? Really?” Hinata shifts his attention from Kei's hands to his face, eyes wide with surprise. Kei refuses to look at him; he's embarrassed enough.

“Is your hearing that terrible?” he shoots back, walking down the aisle toward the headphones. After a moment Hinata follows him, clutching his CD and catching up to Kei's side.

“I kind of want my own copy,” he explains to Kei's curious look, still flushed and nervous, but his small mouth is turned upward.

Together they survey the displays. Kei wonders if Hinata uses his crappy phone to play music. He wonders what brand of headphones Hinata uses, or if he even has a preference.

“These look like the headphones I used to have,” Hinata remarks, picking up a pair of headphones with pandas on the sides. He turns them over and yelps at the price, hurriedly putting them back, and Kei covers his mouth over a laugh.

“How perfect for a small child,” he quips, smirking at Hinata's offended expression.

“Shut up! I like pandas, okay? You can't judge, I've seen the dinosaur background on your phone,” Hinata counters, grinning when Kei glares at him.

After a moment Kei breathes out a sigh and picks up the headphones he had seen online. They're on sale, and Kei has just enough to get both the headphones and the CD, luckily for him. “I guess you haven't bought new headphones in a while?”

Hinata crouches down to the bottom levels, where the earplugs hang in shining, plastic packages. “Nope. I got some of these little ones when I got my phone last year, but I don't like them much and they hurt my ears if I leave them in too long,” he sighs, then stands up straight again, his head barely reaching Kei's shoulder. Sometimes Hinata's height strikes him as truly ridiculous; how can someone so small be so good at volleyball?

He supposes every one of their opponents wonders the same thing.

“That brand is usually pretty good, and they have sales often,” Kei says after a moment, pointing at one of the smaller displays. Hinata follows the line of his finger, then looks up, nose scrunching as he studies Kei.

“Thanks,” Hinata replies, his cheeks turning pink again. The sight of his blush fascinates Kei for a moment, and he has to turn away.

Even though Hinata only buys his CD, Kei catches him studying the headphones display with interest as they leave. He'll have to keep an eye out for a good sale, if Hinata decides to get a new pair.

Just in case.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: glasses!!!!!
Message: your new glasses are so cool!!!! where did you get them? were they expensive? they look so cool!!!!!

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: glasses!!!!!
Message: My brother got them for me for my birthday. You said they were cool sixteen times during practice. Stop.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: glasses!!!!!
Message: i can't help it though!!! they look so cool!!! now we don't have to worry about hitting you in the face haha

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: glasses!!!!!
Message: Oh? I wouldn't be so sure, since your aim is so terrible.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: glasses!!!!!
Message: shut up!!!!! just for that i'm gonna spike at your face for the whole weekend!!!

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: glasses!!!!!
Message: Oh no~ I'm so scared~ Luckily for me you'll end up hitting the King instead every time.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: jerk-shima!!!!
Message: jerk-shima!!!!

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Seriously?
Message: Surely you can do better than that.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: dumbass-shima!!!
Message: stupid-shima! rude-shima! dummy-kei! (`△´＋)

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: ...
Message: Your daily struggle with Japanese leaves me dumbfounded every time you open your mouth.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: but i'm not opening my mouth right now, it's an email duh. who's the idiot now tsu-creep~

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: ...I'm going to ignore you now.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: hehehe does that mean i win?? (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: Go to sleep, idiot. If you fall asleep in class again, Captain's not going to be happy.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: ack when did it get so late!!! okay fine but i still win!! night!!!!!! (-, -- )...zzzZZZ!!!

“Alright, everyone, the coaches will be in a meeting until three, so you have two hours! You can do independent practice or go out for lunch, just be back on time,” Coach Nekomata announces, grinning at the resounding acknowledgment. It is the last joint practice between Karasuno and the Fukurodani Academy Group. They will stay the weekend and return home on Monday, and Kei intends to make the most of his last training session with Bokuto and Kuroo.

Kei knows he will, in all probability, be dragged into something annoying, but he makes an effort to escape to Karasuno's room anyway. He manages to pull on his headphones before Kuroo corners him, teeth flashing in what Kei thinks is an especially evil smirk. “Tsukki,” the third year croons, catching Kei around the shoulders, “where do you think you're going?” He doesn't waste time in dragging Kei down the hall to a group of people Kei does not look forward to spending the afternoon with.

“You found him!” Bokuto grins, looking just as evil as Kuroo. Kozume and Hinata are talking behind him, heads bowed over Kozume's game, and Akaashi looks like he would rather be anywhere but standing beside Haiba, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he is.

“Do I have to?” Kei mutters, glaring at Kuroo out of the corner of his eye.

Kuroo only leers. “Kenma wants to show shorty his favorite game store, and there's a nice mall strip nearby where we can get lunch,” he replies, ruffling Kei's hair and neatly avoiding Kei's elbow digging at his side.

Kei debates trying to run away again. He notices Hinata watching him, bright-eyed with excitement, and raises an eyebrow. “You're not practicing with his highness?”

Hinata immediately pouts. “Stupid-yama told me he wants to practice alone today. Jerk,” he mutters, amusing Kei enough that he allows Bokuto to sling an arm around his shoulders on their way out -- for a moment, anyway.

He turns on his music, though he leaves the headphones around his neck. He noticed a while ago that Hinata sometimes bobs his head when he hears a song he likes from Kei's playlists, usually followed by a message requesting the song title. Kei's slow corruption of Hinata's musical tastes delights him, especially when Kageyama brings up a terrible artist and Hinata says, “But the music Tsukishima plays is better!” It's always nice to gloat over Kageyama's incompetence.

The game store is everything Hinata ever dreamed of, if Kei judges by the glow Hinata emits. It is larger than anything in their town but nothing to get so excited over. Still, Hinata bounds off after Kozume excitedly, leaving Kei to study the newer titles with only vague interest -- Akiteru had taken the gaming systems when he had left, so Kei has only played at Yamaguchi's house in the past few years -- while listening to Kuroo and Bokuto debate whether the next big game will be something ridiculous or made by Square Enix.

After a while, Akaashi ends the increasingly loud argument with a reminder about lunch. “I'll go find Kenma,” Kuroo sighs, leaving Kei to wait by the door with the others. He returns soon, Kozume trailing behind him with his nose pressed to his device, Haiba chattering excitedly about whatever games they purchased. Kei frowns when he realizes they are missing one person.

“Shouyou went to the toilet,” Kozume says without looking up.

“Of course he did,” Kei mutters, then raises his voice while ignoring Kuroo's sudden shark-like grin. “I'll get him.”

“Be gentle with him,” Kuroo stage-whispers as Kei passes, and he grits his teeth at the resulting laughter, stalking through the aisles until he finds Hinata.

Hinata is not alone.

There is a guy standing next to him, crowding him up against the wall with one muscular arm resting easily above Hinata's head. He is tall and his hair is spiked back over a terrible buzzcut, and Kei recognizes him. He does not like the look in the guy's eyes. Wild and careless; the kind of guy who likes to have fun and doesn't care who gets hurt in the process.

“I really should be getting back to my friends,” Hinata mumbles, shying away from the stranger. “If you c-could, um, move...”

“You should give me your email first,” the guy suggests, not moving an inch. “What's your name?”

“It's Hi-Hinata, um...”

“Terushima Yuuji, at your service. How about that number? You're as cute as that glasses girl, you know!”

Hinata's cheeks turn very pink, and he starts to flail, shaking his head quickly. “C-c-c-c-cute?” he stammers, and when Terushima smirks and reaches for Hinata's face, something snaps in Kei's brain.

“Oi,” he calls, anger cutting through his voice, and Terushima looks up, his flirtatious grin fading as he spots Kei. Hinata blurts out Kei's name in relief, but Kei is focused on Terushima, who has not moved. “Do you mind? He's with me.”

“Didn't see a collar on him,” Terushima drawls. “I just want his number. You'll give it to me, won't you, shorty?” He doesn't look down at Hinata; instead he meets Kei's gaze in a challenge, but Kei only stares at him, his thoughts a faint murmur beneath his rage.

“Like I said, he's with me,” Kei replies after a moment. His smile lingers on the edge of shattering, brittle enough to hurt. “Aren't you from Miyagi? Is this what you do in your free time? Harass first years like some pervy old man? Is that it... Yuuji? Sorry, Terushima.”

“Just playing around for the weekend. It's only a bit of fun,” Terushima drawls, but his smug mien fades and he takes a step toward Kei -- and away from Hinata. When Hinata takes the opportunity to scamper behind Kei's imposing height, Terushima reaches for him, and Kei grabs his wrist before he can even touch Hinata's shirt.

“If you don't mind, we're late for lunch,” Kei murmurs, his smile sharpening. Terushima's gaze flicks down to Kei's jacket, then over his shoulder. He tugs his arm out of Kei's grip, and Kei lets him go when he notices movement out of the corner of his eye. Kuroo and Bokuto have arrived and don't look happy.

“Ah, well, I'll just have to wait till next month,” Terushima sighs and flashes a grin at Kei's side, where Hinata is peeking out, fingers gripping Kei's sleeve. “Lose the boyfriend before then, okay, shorty? See you.” Terushima winks at Hinata and saunters away from Kei's narrowed gaze. Kei watches him until he has disappeared, Kuroo following after him.

“Next month?” Kei mutters, guessing that he must be a member of one of the teams that won the preliminaries. Then he shakes himself and turns a scowl on Hinata. “What the hell was that?”

Hinata, frazzled and scared as he is, jumps at Kei's anger, but he doesn't let go of Kei's sleeve. “He, um, he caught me walking out of the bathroom. Then I couldn't get away, 'cause he... kept asking me stuff. Ugh, every time I go to the bathroom, I run into somebody strange!”

Kei notices Bokuto approaching, but he is too incensed to calm himself. “Wasn't he the guy bothering Shimizu-senpai at the preliminaries?”

“Yeah! He was asking her for her email and stuff, and I tried to make him back off, but I guess he took an interest in me instead.” Hinata pauses, and to Kei's irritation his cheeks turn even pinker. “...No one's ever asked for my email like that before.”

“That's not the kind of guy you should give your email to,” Kei snaps. “You said he played at the prelims?”

Hinata shakes his head quickly. “No, he watched them,” he explains, wide eyes tracking Kei's sneer. “He said he cleared the first round... in the top four.” He still hasn't let go of Kei's sleeve, but his hands are trembling, so Kei leaves it alone, frowning down the aisle.

“Pretty sure that was the captain from Johzenji High,” Bokuto remarks, distracting Kei from his temper. “I didn't realize he was into guys too.” He catches Kei's gaze for a moment, then clasps Hinata's shoulder, making a big exclamation about lunch and tugging Hinata away. Hinata's fingers pull on Kei's sleeve briefly, but Kei does not move, watching Bokuto's large hand grip Hinata's small shoulder. Finally Hinata lets go, glancing over his shoulder at Kei before letting Bokuto lead him down the aisle -- and away from Kei.

What the fuck, is Kei's first thought.

When he had first noticed Hinata's preferences, he hadn't considered what it really meant. He had been annoyed, as if Hinata had stolen some spotlight on that private part of Kei's life, focused on that aspect of Kei that made him different. Despite his irritation, Hinata's bisexuality hadn't changed Kei's opinion of him, or suddenly made Hinata a less annoying person, or affected Kei's life in a major way. Hinata was still the same loud, energetic, hyperactive idiot as he had always been.

But Kei hadn't realized that by having a preference, it meant Hinata might end up liking someone, or that someone might end up liking him. He had ignored it before, but now...

He can imagine it, now. Someday, Hinata might walk into the gym holding someone's hand. A guy or a girl, whichever he wanted. That he might go on dates with someone, or spend the night with someone. That he might stay up late talking to someone, and fall asleep in class because of it, and that someone -- someone else -- might make him blush and flail and smile.

Kei has never imagined Hinata kissing anybody before, not even during those ridiculous rumors about Kageyama, but now he cannot stop thinking about it, someone else leaning over Hinata, holding him close and taking what Kei --

What he what?

He isn't dealing with this. He refuses.

Kei doesn't care much for relationships himself. Prickly and warped as he is, he doubts anybody sane could handle him, and he finds everyone else exhausting. His attraction to guys is just a preference for a body type; he doesn't otherwise care. His small crushes, the boys he admired, they never mattered enough at the end of the day for Kei to ask them out.

He doesn't need a significant other. He doesn't need to worry over liking someone. It's as useless as working hard for a club that won't matter in three years.

Except... lately, he has been working harder. Practicing harder. Training himself to be better, stronger, more capable.

Because otherwise Kei will be left behind again by someone who, despite his strongest wishes, affects him in ways he never wanted, and he can't stand it. Especially if he has to watch it happen, whether it's becoming a national champion or falling in love with somebody else.

Stupid, stupid Hinata, for tearing Kei's pride to shreds, for believing in him, and liking him, and trusting him, far too easily for someone who is supposed to hate him, after all the shit Kei has thrown at him since the day they met.

“Pathetic,” Kei mutters, shoving on his headphones and deafening the noise in his head with his volume on high -- but it's not enough to drown out the fear of Hinata walking away forever.

Long after the lights turned off and the snores started, Kei struggles to slip beneath the oblivion of sleep, lingering at the edge of falling but unable to let go of consciousness. After shoving away the image of Hinata leaning into a stranger's hand for the umpteenth time, Kei abandons his pursuit of the dreamworld and sits up, rummaging through his bag for his headphones. He turns on his favorite playlist and keeps the music low enough not to bother anyone else, leaning back into his pillow with a sigh and staring up at the ceiling.

After a few minutes, his phone lights up with an alert, and Kei frowns.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: [no subject]
Message: are you awake?

Great, Kei thinks, his heart beating a bit faster. Just the person he wants to avoid the most. He had distanced himself from Hinata and the others ever since lunch, and his surly attitude had scared off most everybody, save Bokuto and Kuroo, who had merely dragged him into blocking practice, to Kei's surprise. He had expected them to confront him about what had happened, but neither had said a word about it.

He tilts his head back, finding Hinata's bedroll on the other side of the room. The covers are pulled over Hinata's head, orange hair barely visible. After a moment he presses 'reply.'

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: Unfortunately.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: me too, i can't fall asleep at all. um... can i say something?

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: What is it?

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: i wanted to thank you for earlier. with that johzenji guy. i'm glad you showed up when you did. idk what i would have done if you hadn't

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: Don't worry about it.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: i've never been hit on like that before. by a guy, or anyone. i didn't know how to make him go away. when he hit on shimizu-senpai, he didn't care that i was there at all, and this time he kept asking for my email and if i was seeing somebody. i froze up. i couldn't do anything to scare him off. i guess i'm too short to be a threat to someone like that

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: He was the kind of guy that won't take no for an answer. As soon as he took an interest in you, he wasn't going to respect your personal space or listen to you, until you gave him what he wanted. He didn't leave because of me, either. He left because Kuroo-san and Bokuto-san showed up, and they're both scarier than I am. I'm just tall.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: no... you're very scary if you try. scary-shima. hehe (^_^;)

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: I'm glad for your approval. I always wanted the ability to terrify you.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: [no subject]
Message: hahaha as if!!! you stopped scaring me ages ago

Kei wants, very much, to turn his head and look at Hinata. He doesn't bother replying this time, and Hinata doesn't send another message until after the next song is over. The next email leaves Kei gritting his teeth, and he almost turns his phone off instead of answering Hinata.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: question
Message: is it weird that i'm happy a guy asked for my email? even if he was a jerk and i'd never give it to him anyway? i liked that someone noticed me, even if i didn't like the person who did it. does that make sense?

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: question
Message: It's not weird. It's natural to appreciate attention, especially for people like us, since it's harder to get noticed by guys. Just be careful, because sometimes you can attract the wrong type of attention. Like today.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: question
Message: i guess... um, what do you mean, “people like us”?

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: question
Message: ...As in guys who like guys.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: !
Message: wait

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: !!!
Message: wait do you mean!!!

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: !!!!!!!
Message: do you mean you like guys too???

Kei licks his lips, his fingertips hesitating over the letters. He hasn't actually told anybody on the team. Bokuto, Akaashi, and Kuroo seem to be the only people who have noticed. Yamaguchi and Sugawara sometimes give him odd looks, but no one has confronted him or asked about it. He's been careful, and he never intended to tell Hinata, even though it's something important they have in common.

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: !!!!!!!
Message: Yes. I'm gay.

Instead of another message, Kei catches movement out of the corner of his eye, and he looks over to see Hinata sitting up and turned toward him, eyes wide and mouth open. They stare at each other for a moment, stretching into another. Kei's heart is beating in his ears, louder than even his music, and he wishes he had his glasses on, so that he could see Hinata's expression. He doesn't dare move, though.

After a moment, Hinata jumps up, and Kei stiffens in surprise when Hinata exits the room quickly, leaving the door open behind him. A moment later, Kei's phone lights up again.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: !!!!!!!
Message: come out here

Kei takes a deep breath, his heart speeding up again. Then he turns off his music and slides out of bed, his hands shaking as he pulls down his headphones. The cold floor sends a shiver through him when his feet hit the floor. As he approaches the door, the dark hallway beyond daunts him, but he is careful to shut the door silently. No need to bother their teammates.

Instead of speaking, Hinata motions for Kei to follow him, and together they walk down to the first floor of the old dormitory in silence. The doors to outside are locked and the teachers are sleeping in the room at the end of the hall, but Hinata finds them an alcove under the stairs, where he turns to face Kei with wide eyes and flushed cheeks.

“Are you really gay?” Hinata whispers. His hands are clenched at his sides, his shoulders stiff with tension that Kei does not quite understand. “Why... why didn't you tell me?”

“I haven't really told anybody,” Kei answers after a moment, as hushed as Hinata. “A few people have guessed it, and I told them when they asked me. I haven't told my family, though, or anybody else on the team. It's none of their business, and it doesn't really matter.”

Hinata shakes his head abruptly, thick hair falling in his eyes. “It matters to me. I thought... I mean, Bokuto-san said he likes guys, but he's a third year and he goes to another school. Kageyama knows but... I thought I was alone. I thought no one cared.”

A flash of guilt stabs Kei -- he hadn't noticed Hinata's frustration. He hadn't realized how lonely Hinata must have felt, thinking he was the only person on the team who liked the same gender, maybe even in the school. He doubts Hinata would have noticed the other students like them; it's not as if he has Kei's observation skills when it comes to people. “I care,” he admits, his low voice carrying the reassurance to Hinata, and slowly, Hinata's distress begins to fade, his warm brown eyes clearing. “I just didn't think you would.”

“Of course I do!” Hinata exclaims, then covers his mouth quickly. They both wait, holding their breath, but fortunately it seems no one was woken by Hinata's cry. “I -- I care. That you like guys. Like I do. I mean, we're friends, right?” Hinata's voice catches on 'friends,' but his earnest gaze captures Kei and his heart skips a beat. He hopes Hinata cannot see his blush.

“You're pissing me off again,” Kei mutters, but Hinata just stares at him, hopeful and trusting. Believing in him, even though Kei did nothing to deserve it. “Yes, we're friends. Stop looking at me like that,” he grumbles, flicking Hinata in the forehead, and even though Hinata yelps and rubs at the small bruise, his entire face lights up and leaves Kei flushed and warm and embarrassed.

After a moment Hinata shifts from foot to foot, pressing his fingers together and peeking up at Kei. “Do you think... maybe, I could call you Kei? Just between us,” he adds quickly, and his nervous energy makes Kei's ears burn.

“If you want,” he mutters, looking away and pushing his glasses up, to avoid seeing Hinata smile again.

“Then call me Shouyou!” Hinata insists, and Kei can hear the smile anyway, infected with happiness that Kei, of all people, created. He cannot answer; he doesn't want to say it. He watches Hinata's hands instead, small fingers curling over each other with giddiness. Hands that can control a volleyball spike with finesse, that Kei never in a million years expected he would come to admire.

He doesn't want to make this real.

And yet he does, so very badly.

“Fine... Shouyou,” Kei whispers. He glances up from Hinata's hands, in time to see Hinata's face turn rather pink.

“Tsukishima? Hinata? Is everything alright? You aren't fighting, are you?” inquires a quiet voice, and both Kei and Hinata jump. They whirl around to see Sugawara leaning over the banister, looking down at them in concern. Hinata throws up his hands in surprise, while Kei looks away.

“We -- we weren't doing anything! We were just talking! Everything's okay!” Hinata panics. His volume startles Kei, and for once he has to resist the urge to reach over and calm Hinata with a pat on the back, as he has seen Yachi and Yamaguchi do.

“Lower your voice,” he hisses instead, glaring down at Hinata, who flails and claps his hands over his mouth.

“Sorry!” Hinata whispers into his hands.

Sugawara smiles, eternally patient, though Kei wonders how much he heard. This isn't the first time that Sugawara's lack of presence has gone unnoticed. “Okay, that's alright. How about we go back to bed? We don't want to wake Daichi.”

Hinata and Kei are quick to agree, and as they follow Sugawara back to the room, Kei notices that Hinata walks just a bit closer, enough for Kei to feel his warmth through his shirt. He glances down at Hinata -- Shouyou, his mind whispers traitorously -- out of the corner of his eye. They say nothing more as they return to their bedrolls. Kei puts his headphones away, but he chooses to tuck his phone under his pillow, pulling the covers over his head and waiting.

As expected, his screen lights up after a few minutes.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: (*^▽^*)
Message: sorry i got us in trouble

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: (*^▽^*)
Message: At least it wasn't Captain.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: (*^▽^*)
Message: haha true!!! i guess we should actually sleep now

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: (*^▽^*)
Message: That would be a good idea, before Sugawara-san chastises us again.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: (*^▽^*)
Message: hehehe! good night kei (-, -- )...zzzZZZ

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: (*^▽^*)
Message: Good night, Shouyou.

Sleep is a long time in coming, though.

“Tsukki! Come here for a second!” Bokuto calls as Kei steps into the hallway the next afternoon, ready to carry his bags to the bus. “Oh, and you too, Hinata!” Kei glances down to find Hinata right behind him, yawning, and he has to look away, his heart beating a bit faster.

“We're a bit busy, Bokuto-san,” Kei replies, ready to brush past him, but Bokuto grins and skillfully cuts him off, throwing an arm over Hinata's shoulder. Hinata yelps in surprise, and Kei sighs.

“It'll just take a minute! Right now's the best time, anyway,” Bokuto announces, sounding far too eager for Kei's taste, but Akaashi is nowhere to be seen and they are unlikely to be saved by their teammates. Kei is too tired to resist and finally follows the captain, deeper into the school until they reach an empty classroom. Kei frowns at Bokuto as he shuts the door, while Hinata hovers at Kei's side, out of place and uncertain.

Bokuto pulls out two wrapped magazines from his bag, covered in plain brown paper that hides their titles, and presents them to Kei and Hinata. “Tada!” he announces gleefully. “I got these for you! But you absolutely can't open them unless you're alone, okay? It'll be our secret!”

Kei eyes Bokuto suspiciously, taking one of the packages and turning it over, but he cannot tell what the magazine is. A suspicion creeps into the back of his mind, but he chooses not to ask, instead tucking the magazine into the bottom of his bag. “This is ridiculous,” he mutters, glancing over at Hinata.

Hinata looks confused as he surveys his package. “I don't really understand, but thanks, Bokuto-san!” He smiles and puts the package away, glancing up at Kei briefly before looking away.

Kei feels his cheeks warm, and he has to suffer through a wink from Bokuto as he turns to leave. He has his suspicions about the magazine, and he desperately hopes Hinata has the sense not to open it in front of their teammates.

The ride home is quiet. Kei falls asleep listening to his mixed playlist, Hinata's favorite artist singing into his dreams. He doesn't think of the package again until long after he arrives home and has bathed and changed, rubbing a towel through his hair as he digs through the bag for his laundry. His fingers brush the magazine and he pauses, then slowly pulls out the magazine, observing the innocent brown paper with narrowed eyes.

It is almost certainly pornography. Bokuto wasn't fooling anybody except Hinata, but by some miracle Hinata hadn't opened the package on the way home. Kei glances at his door; his parents have gone to bed and his door locks easily.

It wouldn't hurt to look.

When Kei peels off the tape and slides the magazine out of its paper, his face heats up quickly at the art of a nude man kneeling on the front cover. Gingerly, he pages through the magazine, glancing frequently at his door for any sign of his family. The magazine is full of art, comics, and stories about gay sex, and Kei realizes suddenly that his body is reacting in an obvious way.

His phone lighting up catches his attention. He shoves the magazine under his pillow, face burning as he picks up his phone. As soon as he unlocks it, Kei sees that he has missed almost a dozen messages.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: TSUKISHIMA KEI!!!!
Message: DID YOU OPEN YOUR PACKAGE

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: PLEASE ANSWER
Message: KEI ARE YOU THERE

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: please!!!
Message: kei what do i do with this!!! i can't let my mom see this!!! help!!!!!!!

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: pleeeeeeeeeeease
Message: KEI PLEASE ADVISE

And so on, with each message getting increasingly anxious. The last message arrived hardly a minute ago, and Kei covers his face with a groan. What can he even tell Hinata?

His phone lights up again, and Kei exhales to see another email.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: kei (´Д`;)
Message: please answer i really need your help idk what to do with this

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: kei (´Д`;)
Message: Stick it under your mattress or burn it. It's fine. Or better yet, why don't you use it?

He regrets it as soon as he sends the message. What had possessed him to say such a thing? He covers his hot face, unwillingly drawing up the image of Hinata holding the magazine open, face flushed red. Did Bokuto get them the same magazine? Would Hinata look at the same images?

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: !!!!!!
Message: KEI THAT IS NOT HELPING.

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: !!!!!!
Message: If you hide it well enough, your mother won't find it. I recommend keeping it, because Bokuto-san went to the effort of buying it for us, knowing that neither of us have access to this sort of thing.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: !!!!!!
Message: i can't let my mom see this! i haven't told her i like guys!!!

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: !!!!!!
Message: Then throw it away.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: !!!!!!
Message: i should. i should!!! but ....i kind of want to keep it?

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: !!!!!!
Message: Then keep it.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: ...
Message: omg you are terrible at comforting people, kei. but you did calm me down a little. now i'm too mad at you to panic!

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ...
Message: What have I done to deserve such a cold attitude? It's almost like you don't like me, Shouyou.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: ugh
Message: i can't stand you, jerk-shima

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ugh
Message: Yet you're still texting me. Have you seriously never owned smut before? I thought you looked at those magazines that Tanaka-senpai passed around.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ugh
Message: no i haven't! and i didn't really look at those, i didn't feel comfortable looking at them with everyone else! though... tanaka-senpai tore out a few pictures and gave them to us, and i still have the one he gave me. it helped me realize i like both boys and girls. i knew i liked guys for a long time now, but it didn't feel right, until i understood you could like both

Kei falls back on his bed and stares at the phone screen, fingers resting lightly on his stomach. Hinata... had all but admitted to keeping a smutty picture and using it to masturbate. He has to cover his face for a moment, his nose pressing into the dip of his elbow. Why are they having this conversation? His heart can't take it.

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ugh
Message: That's my point. Just hide it somewhere your mother will never look and your sister can't get into. You could tape it under one of your dresser drawers, or if there's a panel loose in your floor, hide it under there. If you don't have a good hiding place in your room, then try under the house. I used to hide stuff under the third step in our porch because my brother kept getting into my room and stealing it.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ugh
Message: those are actually good ideas Σ(゜ロ゜;)

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ugh
Message: I do occasionally have them. It'll be alright.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ugh
Message: i take it back, you are good at comforting people, but only 1% of the time

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: ugh
Message: Wow, you could calculate it? I'm proud~ Maybe you won't fail your exams after all~

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: UGH
Message: you are the worst!!! fine i'm going to bed now!!! night kei!!! (-, -- )...zzzZZZ

Kei laughs to himself, imagining Hinata's angry pout and grinning. For a little while, he scrolls back through the messages, a little thrill touching his chest every time Hinata uses his given name.

“Shouyou, huh,” he murmurs, the syllables rolling off his tongue as if he had always said them, as if he had never muttered, cursed, or drawled Hinata before, as if they had always been friends.

And now Shouyou has the same smutty magazine as Kei, catering exclusively toward audiences that appreciate homosexual men. If he reads the magazine, then Shouyou will as well -- he may choose a favorite picture, or read one of the stories. Maybe even one of the same ones that Kei enjoys.

A low groan falls from his throat, and he rubs his eyes, fingernails scraping his cheeks as he drags his hand down to cover his mouth. What was happening between them? Bonding over music, using their first names, sharing smut... They keep growing closer, hurtling toward something Kei refuses to identify.

It's one moment after another, and Kei can't see past the blurring rush of landscape as he falls.

“Tsukishima, can you tutor me in literature? Just until next week? Please!”

Drawn out of his contemplation, Kei looks up to find Shouyou standing next to him, small fingers clutching his Japanese Literature notebook as he claps his hands together imploringly. Kei snorts, his lips curling up in a smirk guaranteed to make Shouyou fume.

“Oh? You don't want a repeat of the oni and the kanabo?” he mocks, pleased when Shouyou bristles as expected.

“Just until midterms are over! C'mon, please? I'm better now, and you've got the best grades of any of us,” Shouyou pleads, blatant in his attempt to appeal to Kei's pride, and to his eternal irritation, it works.

“Fine,” Kei sighs, turning down his music. “What about your partner in crime?”

Shouyou's expression darkens as he sits down opposite Kei. “Kageyama said he didn't want to study with you when I asked him, so he didn't come. It's his fault if he fails,” he mutters, shoulders slumping. Kei thinks there is more to that particular conversation than Shouyou will admit, but he doesn't particularly care about whatever tizzy the King has worked himself into.

“Alright, did you read last night's assignment?”

“Uh...”

Kei covers his face, already dreading the rest of the weekend.

Fifteen minutes later, Yamaguchi returns with his lunch, his eyebrows raising as he takes in the unlikely combination of Kei and Shouyou alone together. “Oh, what are you two studying?” he asks, leaning over Kei's shoulder curiously.

“Literature,” Kei replies, keeping a sharp eye on Shouyou writing out an answer. He's clicked his tongue in annoyance at least four times already, and Shouyou is due for another one. “Just until midterms. Are you joining us?”

“Sure! Let me get my notebook.”

“Um, Tsukishima, I'm done.” Shouyou slides his notebook over meekly, and Kei picks it up with disdain. His expression is thunderous by the time he finishes, and he resists -- just barely -- throwing the notebook at Shouyou's head.

“Tch,” he mutters. Yamaguchi laughs, and Shouyou turns red and sinks lower in his seat, not protesting as Kei's lecture starts.

Later, Yamaguchi calls out to Kei and Shouyou in the club room after practice. “So, um, I mentioned that I would be studying late this week to my mom, and she invited you all to our house Saturday, since we won't have practice. She said all of the first years could come,” Yamaguchi explains, blushing slightly and rubbing the back of his head. “She also said that everyone can spend the night. Um, except Yachi-san, of course, but she's invited for dinner.”

“Really?” Shouyou exclaims, his eyes lighting up. “That's awesome! Thanks, Yamaguchi! Is it okay if my mom calls your house?” At Yamaguchi's nod he crows, grinning up at Kei. “Too bad for you, now you're stuck with me for two whole days!”

“I'm delighted,” Kei deadpans, mussing Shouyou's hair and pushing him back. “If you whine too much about studying, I'll discipline you. Yamaguchi's mother lets me get away with anything.”

“What!” Shouyou squawks, craning to grab at Kei's shirt, but Kei holds him at bay with one hand and a smirk. After a moment he lets go and watches, satisfied, as Shouyou trips past him. When he looks back at Yamaguchi, he blinks to see him staring at Kei and Shouyou with an unreadable expression.

“Something wrong?”

Yamaguchi seems to shake himself at Kei's inquiring tone. “No, um... you'll be able to come this weekend, right?”

“It shouldn't be a problem.” Kei busies himself with his bag, wondering what Yamaguchi is thinking. Yamaguchi tends to keep his thoughts to himself, though ever since he spoke his mind during summer camp, he's been a little more forward. His heart beats a little quicker as a thought occurs to him: did Yamaguchi notice his interest in guys?

Did Yamaguchi notice his interest in Shouyou?

“Go on and say it!” Shouyou's voice catches their attention, and Kei turns around to see Shouyou frowning up at Kageyama with his arms crossed. Kageyama looks pissed, which does not surprise Kei in the slightest.

“Don't wanna.”

“Say it, Kageyama!” Shouyou insists. “You have to ask him yourself! I'm not gonna help you with this!”

“Fine, just shut up!” For a moment Kageyama stands still, fists clenched, before he meets Kei's gaze, eyes blazing. “Can,” Kageyama grits out, “can I join you for studying? This weekend?”

Kei smiles slowly, and he doubts the expression is nice. “Oho? It's not at my house, though. You should ask Yamaguchi. But... oh, I thought you didn't want me to teach you? Isn't that what you told Hinata?”

Kageyama's face turns an impressive and unflattering shade of red. Kei imagines steam coming out of his ears and covers a snide laugh, not minding when Yamaguchi quickly interjects to keep the peace, as Shouyou nods with satisfaction.

“It's fine, Kageyama! My mom invited everyone.”

“Thanks,” Kageyama snarls in the least grateful tone Kei has ever heard. Kei sneers at him and shoulders his bag, ruffling Shouyou's soft hair as he walks past.

Ever since their late night talk, Kei has been a bit more comfortable with Shouyou, enough that he doesn't always step out of the way when Shouyou jumps at him during practice or in the halls. He never cared before, but he finds it rather enjoyable to mess up Shouyou's thick hair and watch him flail around.

Sometimes he texts Shouyou after practice to make sure he got home, especially if it is late or rainy. He wonders how Shouyou will handle riding his bike over the mountain in the winter. He asked his mother if it would be alright, once in a while, to have a friend stay the night, someone other than Yamaguchi, and she acted surprised that he has other friends. To be fair, before Shouyou, Yamaguchi was his only friend; no one else cared enough to worm their way past his nasty exterior.

He's still not sure how Shouyou managed it.

Sometimes their emails run late into the night, which has happened before, but it's different now, somehow. For some reason Kei does not wish to put the phone down; he gets a thrill, sometimes, when the screen lights up with a message from 'Hinata Shouyou.'

If it's not about volleyball or school, then they usually talk about music. Shouyou doesn't have a computer, so he merely listens when Kei complains about forum wars and upcoming concerts that he can't go see. Sometimes they exchange songs or lyrics they enjoy; Kei has found several artists that he, otherwise, never would have given a chance, had Shouyou not recommended them.

Shouyou still makes himself an easy target for teasing, but he just as easily riles Kei up like no one else can. It's a strange dichotomy; and never before had Kei imagined that he would like it.

“Waaah, that was a long day,” Yachi yawns, stretching her arms back. “I should get going. Thank you for inviting me, Yamaguchi-kun.” Her smile causes a frankly ridiculous blush to blossom over Yamaguchi's cheeks. Kei rolls his eyes, closing his notebook and looking to his right, only to see Shouyou tip sideways, sprawling over the large pillow Kei has been using as a backrest, his hip bumping Kei's knee.

“My brain hurts!” Shouyou whines and refuses to move again, even when Kei threatens him, so Kei gives up and cleans off the table, while Kageyama and Yachi begin to pack their belongings. When Yamaguchi returns from seeing them off, Kei is flipping through his phone, headphones around his neck, while Shouyou dozes away beside him.

“Ah, is he already asleep?” Yamaguchi asks, peering around the table and raising his eyebrows.

“Let me see.” Kei pokes Shouyou's arm again, sighing when Shouyou doesn't even move. “He's completely out. Dumbass,” he says, a hint of fondness with the word.

“I figured Kageyama wouldn't stay, but I was surprised about Hinata,” Yamaguchi comments quietly, sitting down and picking up the remote to the living room TV, turning it over in his hands.

Kei hums noncommittally, glancing down at the lump at his side and snorting to see him snoozing with his mouth open. “It's not necessarily a bad thing,” he hedges, lowering his gaze to his screen. Usually it's just him and Yamaguchi; he wonders if Yamaguchi is upset.

“So you and Hinata,” Yamaguchi starts, then falters when Kei looks up at him in question. “Er... I just, I didn't think he was your type...”

Kei stares at him. “What?”

Yamaguchi blinks back at him. “...Aren't you two dating?”

“What?” Kei exclaims, then covers his mouth when Shouyou mumbles beside him, then falls quiet again. He leans forward and drops his voice, scowling at Yamaguchi who looks more uncomfortable by the minute. “What do you mean, dating? Us? Him?” he whispers furiously, then blinks. “...You knew about me?”

Yamaguchi huffs with exasperation, a frown twisting his mouth, but he meets Kei's gaze evenly. “I've known you for four years, Tsukki. I realized it a while ago,” he murmurs, setting down the remote and looking down at his hands. “I had trouble accepting it at first. But you didn't suddenly change. You didn't become a stranger or a bad person because you liked guys. It surprised me when we found out about Hinata... you defended him a lot more than I ever expected, and it helped me sort through my own feelings on it. I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I wish... I had been more accepting, so that you could have told me yourself.”

Kei closes his eyes against the warmth in his cheeks, brushing his mouth against his knuckles, unable to look at Yamaguchi now. He never thought Yamaguchi would realize the truth. After Hinata had been outed and Kei had observed Yamaguchi's reaction, he had decided to keep it to himself; there was no reason to lose his only friend over his sexual orientation. He had been afraid.

“I should have told you,” Kei replies quietly. He wishes he had trusted Yamaguchi. “How did you figure it out?”

“Well, I'd suspected since last year, just from little things like who you looked at, but there was never any proof for it... just, the way you talked about certain people. It all added up over time. Plus... a couple weeks ago, I saw a magazine in your room.” Yamaguchi's face goes through an odd series of contortions, finally turning red. “It... um. The contents were...”

“Shit,” Kei groans, cursing Bokuto in his head. He can't look Yamaguchi in the eye for a moment, embarrassed beyond reason. “I'm sorry about that.”

“It's okay.” They fall silent for a few long moments. Kei lowers his hands to the table, exhaling slowly, wishing this wasn't so nerve-wracking. When he looks up, Yamaguchi is smiling at him. Kei can't help but return his smile, however small his own expression is, and the tension drains from both of them.

Yamaguchi picks up the remote again, then hesitates. “So you and Hinata aren't...?”

“We're just friends,” Kei answers quietly. “I don't know why, but we've been getting along better lately. Maybe because we both like guys,” he exhales shakily, unnerved by admitting it out loud. “Maybe for other reasons. He's still loud and annoying. But it's... better, now. We've become friends.”

Yamaguchi smiles at him, and if Kei sees something gentle in that smile, he ignores it. “That's good. Though I guess you can't help riling him up, can you?” he chuckles, turning on the TV.

At Kei's side, he feels a small tug, and without thinking he reaches down, only to find Shouyou's hand gripping his sweater tightly. His heart jolts to realize that Shouyou is awake. Yamaguchi doesn't notice as Kei's face heats up again, and the TV is loud enough to drown out the blood pumping in his ears.

“He makes it too easy,” Kei murmurs, holding onto Shouyou's hand for a moment, his thumb brushing over the inside of his wrist, before he lets go and focuses on his phone. He hardly sees the screen, though; he is too distracted by the warmth lingering on his fingers and the memory of Shouyou's pulse beneath his thumb, fast and uncertain and throbbing in time with Kei's own.

“So, do you like anybody?” Yamaguchi asks a few minutes later, far too casually, and Kei's heart skips a beat. He is all too aware of Shouyou's warmth at his side. He narrows his eyes at Yamaguchi, who laughs and waves a hand.

“Oh, don't give me the stink eye, Tsukki. I was just wondering. You're always texting Bokuto-san, for one thing.”

Kei doesn't like Yamaguchi's sly tone. “I'm not interested in Bokuto-san. He acts like my brother, supplying me with dirty magazines and sending me ridiculous texts early in the morning for no reason other than he's bored. I respect him for his volleyball, but I can't ever see us dating. Besides, I'm pretty sure he has his eye on someone else.”

“Fine, fine,” Yamaguchi concedes, grinning at Kei. “But if you do find someone you like, you'll let me know, right?”

“Mm,” Kei agrees, distracted again as Shouyou's pull on his sweater tightens, fairly certain that his face is reddening. He is careful not to meet Yamaguchi's knowing gaze, flicking through the apps on his phone instead of continuing the conversation, and Yamaguchi leaves him alone for the meanwhile with a soft smile.

When Yamaguchi stands to ready the bath, Kei sits in silence for a few minutes, trying to pretend that he does not want to look down. After a moment, then another, he reaches down to his side, covering Shouyou's hand and feeling the strength of it, his small knuckles pressing into Kei's palm. Then he carefully pries Shouyou's hand open, freeing his poor sweater, and for a moment, he merely holds Shouyou's small hand in his own.

Then Shouyou squeezes his hand, and Kei steels his nerves and looks down into Shouyou's eyes, pupils blown wide, his face as pink as Kei's is warm. For a long moment that aches, they stare at each other, and Kei is tempted, for the first time in his life, to lean down and give Hinata Shouyou a kiss.

“Tsukki! Bath's ready! See if you can wake Hinata,” Yamaguchi calls from down the hall.

Kei jerks back, at the same time that Shouyou rolls away sharply, his head hitting the bookcase and forcing several books to topple over him. Shouyou whimpers as he clutches his head, and Kei takes one look at his teary face before he has to turn away with shaking shoulders, nerves bubbling over in a laugh.

“It's not funny!” Shouyou whines, pushing at Kei with his feet. “You're such a jerk!”

“Listening to other people's conversation isn't nice,” Kei tells him seriously, wiping away all signs of humor and meeting Shouyou's sullen stare. His mouth twitches, and it's enough to make Shouyou's pout crack. Then they are both laughing, much to Yamaguchi's confusion when he returns, but Kei isn't about to explain why. His heart is still beating fast, fluttering in his chest like a butterfly, and Kei has to keep his eyes from wandering to Shouyou's face as he takes a towel and leaves the room.

When he is finally alone, he sags against the bathroom door, staring up at the ceiling and covering his mouth.

This is getting out of hand.

Midterms come and go, with varying degrees of success, and finally comes October 25.

Kei is not pleased when Terushima appears at the entrance to the gymnasium. He is even less pleased when Terushima shoves Shouyou aside in favor of hitting on Shimizu again, though he supposes he should be glad that Terushima did not out either him or Shouyou right there. He catches the sly smirk Terushima throws over his shoulder and scowls at his back until the enemy captain has walked away.

“Do you know him, Tsukki?” Yamaguchi asks, and Kei shakes his head.

“Not particularly,” he grumbles, stalking forward. Shouyou is unnerved but seems alright, to Kei's relief. Luckily, they do not see Terushima again; Kei manages to keep an eye on Shouyou to make sure he does not wander off.

(He fails one time and hears about Shouyou running into Oikawa, Ushijima, and Aone all at the same time. He vows never to let Shouyou out of his sight again.)

As each game progresses, something builds in the back of Kei's mind. A deeper focus, perhaps; something that intensifies with every block, spike, or feint. He goes to sleep running plays in his head and pressing his fingers to the wall. He wakes up dreaming about the burn in his palms from a good block. He plays each game like he is facing a team of Bokutos, and the sensation becomes a little clearer with each pass, each block, each touch of his fingers to the volleyball.

Somehow, in the middle of the most important game of the year thus far, Kei gets it. That moment that everyone else seemed to understand but always eluded him -- he gets it, why volleyball is so fun, why it feels so damn good to block, why a single point feels like a hundred. Yamaguchi and Shouyou are screaming his name, cheering for him, and not even Ushijima's glare can stop him.

Finally he gets to feel that moment -- and he never wants to let go of it again.

As soon as they get back to school, reality checks in with a reminder that the cultural festival is set for the third of November with little time to spare. Instead of volleyball, Kei is forced to work on signs, posters, and miscellaneous supplies for a yakisoba stand. At least he doesn't have to cook, though Yamaguchi was shuffled into the position with little protest. Kei suspects that Yamaguchi even wants to cook, which is beyond his ken.

Technically, club activities are canceled for the week; however, Kei still goes to the clubroom at the end of the afternoon, where he joins the other first years in painting another sign, while their seniors plot and build for their club presentation.

“Though we have received congratulations from the school,” Sawamura says on Monday, arms crossed with his normal serious expression.

“And from the vice principal!” Tanaka interrupts with glee, then abruptly silences himself at Sawamura's dark glare.

“We still need to put a strong front up for the cultural festival this weekend,” Sawamura continues, as if Tanaka had never opened his mouth. “You can give your class representative a pass, signed by Takeda-sensei, to work on the club presentation in the evenings. First and second years should arrive by four, and third years by five. Tardies will not be accepted. We will show everyone why the volleyball club is going to nationals.” Everyone stays silent as Sawamura glowers forebodingly, then shifts to an easy smile. “Now, does anybody have any ideas?”

A mostly unanimous vote later, the team has established a simple but entertaining game: spike a volleyball at one of the three seniors, and if you hit them, you win a prize. Prizes range from five minutes with your club member of choice to volleyball pendants.

Kei thinks it's better than a food stand or a haunted house, at least, and he has no doubt that the other clubs will take full advantage of the cheap price to destroy Sawamura, Asahi, and Sugawara, adding to their needed funds for the Interhigh.

The winning accolades from the preliminaries ring true, though, and Kei finds himself congratulated by random classmates, some he had never actually met. And others...

“Tsukishima,” Kageyama says on Tuesday, grabbing at Shouyou's head and missing when he leaps up to ask Tanaka for some paint. “That girl you were talking to earlier, wasn't she from Class 3?”

“I guess,” Kei mutters in reply, not really paying attention.

“She was,” Yamaguchi says at the same time, grinning. “She asked Tsukki out, but of course he said --”

A great clatter cuts Yamaguchi off, saving Kei from telling him to shut up. All three look up to see Shouyou stock still with bright orange paint splattered all over his legs and half the sign they are painting, the half-empty paint can rolling away from him. Tanaka and the other seniors panic, hurrying to save the paint and diminish the mess, but Kei is stuck on Shouyou's wide eyes and expression of utter shock.

“Ah, I shouldn't have said that,” he hears Yamaguchi mutter, before they are pressed into trying to save the sign.

Shaken out of his daze, Shouyou immediately bows and apologizes profusely, but he gets yelled at by both Sawamura and Ennoshita, and he is meek for the rest of the evening, hardly speaking as they continue painting. Somehow they manage to use the splatter of orange paint to their benefit, but the mood is ruined. Everyone feels awkward, and Kei worries over Shouyou's reaction.

After they put the supplies away for the night, Kei walks somewhat slowly down the hill, his eyes on the back of Shouyou's head. He hears someone at his side and frowns, realizing it is not Yamaguchi's usual soft steps. He looks over and sighs to see Kageyama.

“What is it?”

Kageyama glares at him. “That girl who asked you out. Did you tell her yes?”

The King was showing interest in something other than volleyball? Kei doesn't quite manage to keep the shock off his face, which only riles Kageyama up more. “Of course not,” he replies after a moment. “I told her I wasn't interested, which is the truth. Why does it matter to you?”

His answer does not appear to satisfy Kageyama, who huffs and shoves his hands deeper into his pockets. Kei edges away a little, not wanting to be too close to him in case he snaps. “Are you going to date anybody then?” Kageyama asks after a moment.

Kei stares at him. “This line of questioning is strange. Why do you care? What do you really want to know?”

Kageyama narrows his eyes, but Kei is not daunted. “None of your fucking business. It'd just be better if you dated somebody, okay? Otherwise it's going to be really annoying.”

Alright, he has had enough. “Thank you for your grand advice, your majesty,” Kei sneers, putting his headphones on. “Whatever you're thinking about is definitely something I don't want to know. Not to mention that whom I choose to date, if anybody, is none of your business. If I may have your gracious permission, I would like to leave now.”

“You're such an asshole,” Kageyama gripes, jostling his bag and exchanging a long glare with Kei before he seems to abandon his line of questioning. Kei doesn't bother replying, his eyes narrowed as he watches Kageyama stalk away.

First Hinata, now Kageyama. Yamaguchi had already made a big fuss over it during lunch, and Kei hates it. He had turned the girl down politely enough -- it wasn't the first time, and it likely wouldn't be the last -- but he is still annoyed to have to deal with it. He wishes, sometimes, he could tell the school he is gay and be done with girls chasing him forever. He knows better, though.

Shouyou takes longer than usual to respond to Kei's texts that evening, and eventually Kei gives up and goes to sleep. His dreams are uneasy that night; and the next day he seems to catch sight of the girl who likes him in the halls constantly. He sees Shouyou a few times between classes, too, but they hardly speak during the day, seemingly because they are so busy -- but Kei has his doubts.

During club, Shouyou acts normal enough, and he is clearly enthused by their win -- but when he speaks to Kei, he is withdrawn. By Friday, Kei chooses to do something about it, because he cannot decipher whether Shouyou's reticence is because of something he did, or because of the confession he suffered through. He does not like being ignored, and he does not like seeing Shouyou so upset.

“Wait up,” he calls to Shouyou as they walk down the hill. It is very late, but the display for the volleyball club is finished, and all they need to do is set it up in the morning for the rest of the school to enjoy. Before that, though, Kei wants to make sure he and Shouyou are on even grounds.

Both Shouyou and Kageyama pause, glancing back at him with twin looks of surprise. Yamaguchi eyes him oddly for a moment, before smiling good-bye and walking ahead. Kageyama narrows his gaze and mutters something to Shouyou, but Shouyou only shrugs and waits for Kei to reach him. Kei frowns at Kageyama. “I need to speak with Hinata.”

“Have at it,” Kageyama grunts, and Shouyou sighs explosively, startling Kei.

“You can go ahead, Kageyama-kun. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?” Shouyou smiles brightly, and Kei is stunned to realize how false it is. Even Kageyama cannot refuse such a clear dismissal. He scowls at Kei and sulks off, loitering for a few minutes before Shouyou's glare sends him on his way.

For a few minutes, Kei walks beside Shouyou, the clicking of his bike wheels the only sound between them. He does not like the awkward silence, but he does not know how to break it with the worry in his heart.

“Shouyou,” he starts, voice carrying in the cold night.

“I'm sorry,” Shouyou says at the same time.

They blink and stare at each other, Shouyou's mien shifting to something more sheepish. “Er, I didn't mean to interrupt you,” he apologizes, and Kei sighs, exasperated and fond.

“What are you apologizing for? The way it's been this week, it seems it was me who did something wrong,” Kei replies, his amusement fading when Shouyou averts his gaze.

“You didn't do anything,” Shouyou says, but he will not meet Kei's eyes and his hands tighten on his bike handles, until his knuckles are white.

“Say that again without the lie,” Kei murmurs, and Shouyou's shoulders twitch, tightening.

“It's really nothing,” he tries again, feebly, and Kei stops walking, staring down at him when Shouyou pauses as well and turns to look up.

“At least let me know what I should apologize for,” Kei requests quietly, though he blinks when Shouyou pushes his bike stand down and waves his hands, meeting Kei's eyes for the first time that day.

“You really didn't do anything! I'm just being stupid like usual,” Shouyou laughs, cheerless and uncomfortable. “It'll pass. I'll be back to normal. I didn't mean to ignore you or anything, I promise.”

Though Kei suspects he is lying, at least part of Shouyou's words are true. He could pry more, but he would rather draw Shouyou closer than push him away. The apparent truth that Shouyou was bothered by someone confessing to him lingers on the edge of his thoughts, and he wonders once again if Shouyou was jealous.

He wishes Shouyou was jealous, and yet he cannot say it.

“Alright,” Kei agrees, but he does not move quite yet. Shouyou's gaze has dropped again, small hands clenching over his wrists as he wrings them, and Kei realizes he is not wearing gloves. It bothers him when Shouyou forgets to wear them in this cold weather, but he does not want to chastise Shouyou right now.

For now, he wants Shouyou to look at him. “So, did you get a chance to listen to that new song?” Kei asks, relieved when Shouyou's head comes back up, bright eyes clear. Shouyou shakes his head wordlessly, and Kei has an idea.

He takes off his headphones and pulls them apart, stepping forward and gently setting them in place over Shouyou's ears, his face warming a bit as Shouyou's eyes widen slightly in confusion. Instead of explaining, he pulls up the song in his phone and sets it to play, keeping his eyes on Shouyou's face.

He gets to see Shouyou's eyes light up as the new notes fall over each other, in a song that Kei has listened to on repeat multiple times this week. He had gotten the song on Monday with the new album release, and he had promised to let Shouyou listen to it, but Tuesday had happened instead.

Kei likes this experience better, somehow -- to catch Shouyou bobbing his head a few times, to see the smile blossoming on his face, to hear the soft humming as he picks up the tune to the chorus. He gets to see Shouyou fall in love with a song, and his heart swells with the same emotion.

Shouyou's eyes remain closed for the last few notes, before he looks up at Kei and beams. “I love it!” he exclaims, pulling the headphones off and holding them up to put around Kei's neck. “Can we use the computer tomorrow to put it on my phone? It's so good! What was that instrument they used?”

Kei laughs softly, careful not to mind when Shouyou's fingers brush his neck, and he welcomes the conversation as they begin to walk home again, relieved that Shouyou no longer looks so sad.

When Kei is finished with his shift at Class 1-4's stand, he nods to Yamaguchi approaching and escapes as quickly as he can without appearing desperate. He has about an hour before he must take over for Ennoshita and the other second years. He definitely, absolutely does not want yakisoba for lunch, but if he recalls correctly, Shouyou's classroom had chosen to do a cafe.

“Welcome!” calls out a girl wearing an orange apron as Kei approaches Class 1-1's classroom. Kei nods, ignores her sudden attention to his face, and ducks through the curtain hanging over the entrance. He is quickly led to a table and given a small menu, and Kei realizes that he does not see Shouyou anywhere.

Must be on break, Kei thinks sourly, glancing over the menu.

“Welcome, sir!” chirps a familiar voice, and Kei's bad mood abruptly fades. “What would you like to try today?”

Kei looks up, ready to tease Shouyou for the polite language, then stops short when he sees what Hinata is wearing.

Wings. Small, black wings, arching above Shouyou's shoulders. The black apron is simple enough with an orange “1-1” stitched onto it, and the way Shouyou's hair is pulled back on one side with a small clip with black feathers glued onto it is rather interesting, but Kei is stuck on the wings. Shouyou follows his gaze and turns pink.

“Ahaha, you see those, do you? Er, they were my idea,” he babbles, rubbing the back of his head while Kei stares. “The girls wanted an animal theme, and I told them they should do crows because we're Karasuno, you know? Well, they made everyone wear these, and... er, are you going to say anything? You're creeping me out, Kei.”

Kei blinks a few times, then pulls out his phone and quickly snaps a picture, enjoying the immediate expression of outrage that Shouyou adopts. He takes a second picture for good measure, a small smirk curling across his mouth. “You should definitely wear those during our shift at the club stand.”

“What! I definitely won't! And what did you take a picture for, you jerk!” Shouyou shouts, then ducks his head when one of his classmates chastises him. A few people laugh, and Kei grins and takes another picture, while ignoring the skip of his heartbeat when Shouyou pouts at him.

“I'll have a barley tea and a piece of the strawberry shortcake, if you don't mind,” he purrs, and he has to take another picture as Shouyou makes a face and flees to the back of the classroom. Just so he can show Yamaguchi and the others later, of course, in case he cannot convince Shouyou to wear the wings after all.

Kei does manage to trick Shouyou into wearing them to the volleyball stand, but only for a little while. It's long enough for him.

He doesn't tell Shouyou that he looks at the pictures often. His favorite is the second picture he took, of Shouyou's embarrassed glare and flushed cheeks.

His heart hurts a little every time, and he wishes he could still fool himself.

“Geez, seriously? You like him? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I don't want to hear that from you!”

Kei pauses outside the second gymnasium, déjà vu edging into his thoughts as he finds himself listening to someone else's conversation. He's heard Shouyou angry at Kageyama like this several times, but the subject jolts his heart, and he stops in the shadows beneath the open window, his heart beating faster. It is cold outside, the late November air chilling the sweat on his skin, but he doesn't move.

Almost a month has passed since their game, and they are training harder than ever with Fukurodani Academy Group. They have practice games every other week, it seems, and Kei has never felt more successful at volleyball. He hopes it continues. His relations with the other team members are getting better, and Shouyou...

Kei can admit to his own feelings, when he is alone and no one is paying attention to him.

It is simply a matter of figuring out if Shouyou might, possibly, like him back.

“No, explain it to me. How can you possibly like that guy? He's been an asshole to us since the beginning.”

“That doesn't matter anymore! We've been getting along better!”

Kageyama scoffs. “It matters because he treats you like shit. What's going to happen if you end up dating? He'll just hurt you.”

“Dating?! I didn't say I l-liked him like that!”

“Your face is turning red. I don't think I've ever seen that. It's gross, stop it.”

“You are seriously the worst.”

Kei cannot move. Shouyou likes someone. He, rather forcefully, had ignored that possibility, out of the tiniest, most ridiculous hope that -- maybe -- Shouyou would come to accept his feelings and perhaps even return them. But if Shouyou liked someone...

What chance does Kei have?

“I just can't understand why you like him.”

“I don't know why, okay?! Yeah, he's mean some of the time, and I'm not going to lose to him in volleyball, but he's fun to talk to, and... yeah, we don't have much in common. But I like talking with him, and lately we've been getting closer. Would... would it really be so bad? If... I liked him that way?”

Kageyama scoffs again, but softer, sounding subdued. “I just can't see it, Hinata. He looks down on us like we're scum. Sometimes I just want to shake that smug expression off his stupid face.”

“That's just because he keeps calling you King, isn't it?”

“Shut it, dumbass. My point is, just because you get along with someone, doesn't mean you should date them.”

“I already told you, I can't even imagine dating him. Or anybody! That's way too high level for me. I just... I like him. Heh, it feels weird to say it.”

“Ugh... just don't come crying to me when that bastard breaks your heart. I'll ignore you.”

“What -- you're such a jerk, Kageyama-kun!”

Kei does not listen anymore. He leaves before either can notice him, engrossed in his gloomy, muddling thoughts as he trudges through the halls. He cannot stop parsing through the conversation he heard, to determine whom Shouyou might like. He can imagine himself in those descriptions, to an extent -- but he cannot believe his own hopes.

The mysterious guy must belong to another team, then. Perhaps one of the players from Seijou.

Kei's chest gives a pang at that thought.

It's just a crush. Just a few unrealistic emotions that, at the end of the day, mean nothing to him. He should've known it would be like this, that just because he admitted to his feelings, that it didn't mean he would have a chance with Shouyou.

He could fool himself into thinking that Shouyou is talking about him -- but he knows better. He doesn't need to hope for something that will never happen.

He and Shouyou are friends, though. He hasn't told Shouyou of his feelings; nothing has to change in the end. He can still talk with him and enjoy his company, and at the end of the day, Kei might be the one left behind -- but what else can he do?

Shouyou likes someone else, after all.

On the last day of second term, Kei wakes up to a message from Shouyou.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: IT'S SNOWING
Message: kei look outside!!! it's snowing!!! it's not a lot yet but it's pretty!!!

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: IT'S SNOWING
Message: Is it? Are you going to be alright riding your bike down here?

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: IT'S SNOWING
Message: yeah of course! i'll see you at school!!! there's just closing ceremony today right?

To: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: IT'S SNOWING
Message: And report cards.

From: Hinata Shouyou
Subject: Re: IT'S SNOWING
Message: noooooooo (ノ゜口゜)ノ

Ah, the never-ending trials of getting Shouyou to pass his tests. He knows Shouyou can do the work; it is simply a matter of getting him to do it. Kei shakes his head and drops his phone on his chest, a snort escaping him as he imagines Shouyou's face after homeroom. He never gets tired of that pout, even though the image twists his heart a little.

He hasn't changed his relationship with Shouyou. Every day their friendship deepens just a little, and it tears at Kei's heart a little more, but he welcomes the pain. He knows that by supporting Shouyou in whatever he does, and by not imposing his own feelings on him, then their friendship can continue.

It hurts, but Kei is willing to bear the burden. He doesn't need anything more than Shouyou's companionship -- as a friend, and nothing more.

The cold weighs down on his shoulders when he steps outside. Kei lifts his eyes to the heavy clouds hanging over the valley, dark and thick with snow. As Shouyou told him, it is snowing, soft white flakes floating down from the clouds, though the weather report had said they might get up to eight inches that night. He will have three entire days of nothing until their winter training camp, and the lure of his stack of books is almost strong enough to make him turn around and go back to bed -- but he resists. He has a few items to pick up after class, after all, and there is the matter of actually attending school.

It continues to snow as Kei walks up the hill to school, his shoes crunching icy slush, the cold keeping his shoulders hunched. He looks forward to going home and turning on the kotatsu. His breath puffs against his scarf and fogs up his glasses, though the mist is not enough to block out the mop of orange hair he spots ahead at the bike rack as he reaches the front gate.

Shouyou's scarf is bright blue, making his thick hair stand out even more. It is also coming undone, and Kei sighs as he stops behind Shouyou and picks up the longer end, wrapping it back around Shouyou's neck. “You're going to catch a cold like that,” he chides, amused when Shouyou jumps and twists around, frowning as soon as he sees Kei.

“Don't creep up on people like that! I might have attacked you!” Shouyou exclaims, and Kei has to laugh.

“Ah, yes, you are as terrifying as a kitten batting a string,” Kei deadpans, ruffling the snow out of Shouyou's damp hair. “Don't you have a hat?”

Shouyou scowls at him, cheeks puffing up, and Kei has to shut out the thought of cute. “It ripped last year. Ugh, why are you in such a good mood this morning?”

“And what do you mean by that?” Kei steps around Shouyou's bicycle, glancing down as Shouyou catches up to him after chaining it up.

“You pick on me more when you're in a good mood,” Shouyou mutters, eyes narrowing at Kei's smirk.

“You're imagining things,” Kei replies, noticing Yamaguchi walking ahead of them. Shouyou scoffs.

“I definitely am not. Hey, are you going to the club room after homeroom?” Shouyou asks him.

“Ukai-san said we were going to meet about the training camp, so yes. Try not to fall asleep during the ceremony, alright?”

“I won't!” Shouyou makes a face at Kei, though he is quickly distracted by Kageyama running past them. “Damnit, Kageyama! Don't you dare!” he shouts, taking off after him, and Kei rolls his eyes as he reaches Yamaguchi, watching the two of them race for the doors.

“Looks like it's going to be Kageyama's win today,” Yamaguchi comments, smiling up at Kei. “Good morning, Tsukki.”

“I don't understand the point of it,” Kei sighs. “Shouldn't they use that energy in studying?”

Yamaguchi laughs, following him into the school, and as Kei steps inside, the wind blows against the back of his head and leaves him shivering, glad for the warmth in the entry hall. He glances back, frowning to himself as he considers the snow on the ground. Maybe he will have to forego his errands after all.

The vice principal's shiny wig keeps the student body entertained through the closing ceremony. The ground is no longer slush when the ceremony ends at noon, but now covered in at least an inch of white, creating a surreal, fragile world, that is torn apart quickly by laughing students, boisterous about the siren call of winter break. The snow blusters across the courtyard with the wind, and Kei dreads the walk home in the freezing conditions.

Kei's report card is as he expects, and he snorts at Yamaguchi's dismay at some of his marks. When Shouyou finds him and Yamaguchi after homeroom, he floats into the clubroom in a daze, and Kei grimaces, guessing Shouyou looked at his report card.

“That bad, huh?” he comments, blinking when Shouyou shakes his head.

“No... I passed everything,” Shouyou says slowly, his shock intensifying. “It's all thanks to you and Yachi-san... My mom's gonna be so happy.”

“Hahaha! That's great, Hinata!” Tanaka exclaims, grabbing Shouyou by the shoulders as the others congratulate him. Kageyama looks intensely jealous to Kei's amusement. Shouyou beams up at Kei, and Kei has to look away, trying and failing to squash the pride in his chest.

The meeting is thankfully short, as Ukai wants all of them to get home before the snow storm worsens. The sky is darker now, the wind picking up, and Kei longingly thinks of the patisserie on the other side of town for a moment, but he knows he should hurry home. He frowns as he catches an argument brewing between Shouyou and Kageyama when they leave the gym.

“You can't ride your bike home in this weather, dumbass. Just come to my house.” Kageyama sneers, but Shouyou only huffs and pushes past him.

“I have to run errands first! And I can make it if I'm careful,” Shouyou insists. Kei glances up at the mountain where the national highway weaves, shaking his head. He wouldn't be surprised if they shut it down for a few hours tonight, and he doesn't like the thought of Shouyou trying to shoulder through the ice and snow alone.

Kageyama is firm. “No, you can't. You're coming to my house and spending the night.”

“What?! What are you, my keeper? I told you, I have errands.”

“Then come over after your errands,” Kageyama orders, and Shouyou throws his hands up.

“Fine!” He makes a face at Kageyama and runs off toward the bike racks, leaving Kageyama fuming and Kei frowning.

“Dumbass,” Kageyama grumbles, catching sight of Kei and glaring at him. Kei narrows his eyes until Kageyama looks away, his gaze sliding to the front gates to watch the bright blue of Shouyou's scarf as he disappears down the hill.

Kei is several pages into his new book when his phone buzzes, and he scowls when he sees the name. He almost doesn't answer; it is almost four in the afternoon, and there is no reason for Kageyama of all people to call him. Except... Kageyama has Shouyou with him.

“What,” Kei snaps as the call connects.

“Oi, have you seen Hinata since school ended?” Kageyama says quickly, and Kei's irritation fades, anxiety twisting his stomach.

“No, of course not. Did he not make it to your house?”

Kageyama snarls in frustration. “No, and he's not answering his phone. He was supposed to be here hours ago.”

Kei looks out the window, fear sliding into his heart. The weather report has warned of blizzard conditions by sunfall, and it is snowing thickly, enough to block out the sky. “What errands was he running?”

“The convenience store, the bike service shop, and that music store near your house. I'm going out to look for him.”

“I'll look too,” Kei replies, ending the call without waiting for Kageyama's response. He checks his emails, but there is nothing from Shouyou since that morning. He sends off a message anyway and hurries to get his coat and boots.

Idiot, he thinks, setting off into the snow storm with determination. He checks the convenience stores near his house, but finds no sign of Shouyou, and many of the stores are about to close under the warning of a blizzard. None of them have seen a boy with bright orange hair, to Kei's frustration. He keeps checking his phone when it buzzes, but none of the texts are from Shouyou. Only Kageyama, whose messages are growing more and more frantic.

Just the same as how Kei feels. He won't hold himself back if he finds Shouyou.

Kei heads for the music store next, not even feeling the cold snow on his cheeks. He glances worriedly at the mountain Shouyou climbs every day, wondering if they should contact the authorities, in case Shouyou tried to ride his bike home in this storm. If a car were to hit him...

But Shouyou is not at the music store, either. Kei continues walking; the hems of his pants are soaked now, and his cheeks and fingers are frozen; but he doesn't care. There is a park nearby, and Kei stops to look around, but he sees no one, not even the neighborhood children who usually play in the afternoons. He pauses to send a text to Kageyama asking if he has found Shouyou, noticing a bus stop not far ahead.

His anxiety abruptly shifts to anger when he sees a small form huddled against the wall of the bus stop, gripping the handles of a bike. He would recognize that orange hair anywhere; he picks up pace. “You idiot,” Kei seethes when he reaches Shouyou, who looks up from his bike in shock.

“Kei?” Shouyou flinches when Kei takes his shoulders in hand, giving him a hard shake, though his touch gentles when he sees the tears at the corners of Shouyou's eyes. His cheeks are bruised red from the cold, his hair damp, and he is shivering, strong enough that Kei can feel the trembles through his coat. “What are you doing here?”

“Kageyama called me because you hadn't reached his house. You could have been hurt! What were you thinking, running errands at this time?”

“I, um, I wanted to buy a couple Christmas presents before the break, because I wouldn't be able to come back down until our training camp. But the store was closed... then I got lost, and my battery died so I couldn't call anyone, and...” Shouyou can't continue as his voice fails him, sniffing pathetically. The tips of his ears are red. Kei's fury loses steam, and he pulls off his own hat and pushes it over Shouyou's damp hair.

“You really are an idiot,” he sighs, taking the bike from Shouyou's cold fingers and handing him his phone. “Here, call his majesty and tell him you're coming to my house for now. With the blizzard coming, you might just have to stay with me. Come on.”

Shouyou stands still for a long moment, staring up at Kei as if he has never seen him before. Kei's hat looks ridiculous, flattening Shouyou's hair and nearly covering his eyes, clearly too big for him, but Kei will let it slide if it keeps him warm until they get home. Kei glares at him and walks the bike away, and after a moment he hears Shouyou speaking quietly to Kageyama, whose shouting is loud enough for Kei to hear every word even through the thick snow and wind.

Kageyama does not argue for very long when Shouyou tells him he is going to Kei's house; he must be too relieved. Shouyou ends the call, catching up to Kei's side and handing the phone back.

“How did you find me?” he asks Kei after a moment, pushing his hands into his pockets, his shoulder bumping Kei's arm.

“I followed the trail of rampant stupidity,” Kei grouses, and Shouyou huffs, but Kei hears the shiver in his breath and walks faster, even though Shouyou says nothing else.

“I'm home,” Kei calls, pushing Shouyou into the warm foyer, dropping Shouyou's packages and bag by the door.

His mother appears in the hallway, studying Shouyou with surprise. “Welcome home... oh, my, who is this, Kei? Is this why you rushed off?” she asks.

“A friend from my club. He was lost in the storm,” Kei explains, while Shouyou bows in embarrassment, his cheeks flushed red.

“I'm sorry for intruding! I'm Hinata Shouyou,” he introduces himself, teeth chattering, and Kei's mother frowns.

“Come in, come in! You must be freezing, Shouyou-kun! Let me find you something to wear.” His mother heads upstairs, while Kei helps Shouyou peel off his dampened layers. He hears the water heater start a few moments later, thankful for his mother's thoughtfulness.

He nudges Shouyou into the bathroom upstairs, rubbing a towel through Shouyou's thick hair, cold and wet as it is. His sleeves and pants are damp just as Kei's clothes are, and Kei worries at how little Shouyou has said. He drapes the towel around Shouyou's trembling shoulders and takes his cold hands, rubbing them until Shouyou's fingers no longer feel like ice.

For a moment, Kei observes Shouyou's small figure and bowed head. He doesn't know what is going through Shouyou's mind, and all Kei can think about is finding Shouyou at that bus stop, but in the morning, long after the cold would have taken him. “Don't do that again,” Kei whispers, his chest tightening. “Nobody knew where you were. What if something had happened? What if you had been hurt? You should have just gone home with Kageyama. You should have --”

“I'm sorry,” Shouyou interrupts, hands clenching into fists in Kei's grip, his voice breaking on the apology. “I didn't mean to worry everyone. I was selfish, and I'm sorry.”

Kei stares down at him, taken aback, and he can't find the words to respond for a moment. Shouyou says nothing else, teeth clenched, and Kei thaws slowly, gently prying Shouyou's hands open before letting go.

Shouyou stiffens as soon as Kei's arms encircle his shoulders. He feels small, almost too small for Kei to grasp, as if he will spiral out of Kei's grip and vanish -- yet his back is firm beneath Kei's hands. His warmth is real. His soft hair brushes Kei's neck, damp but no longer cold, and Kei tightens his embrace for a moment, thankful that Kageyama called him.

He feels a tug at his back; Shouyou is gripping his sweater, hands shaking slightly, and Kei pulls him closer. He knows he should let go. He should not care this much; but he does, and he cannot deny this any longer.

When Kei pulls away, Shouyou lifts his head, finally meeting Kei's eyes for the first time since he found him at the bus stop. Kei's breath catches; Shouyou's face is blushed pink, pupils blown wide, and Kei is immediately reminded of that night at Yamaguchi's house, when he first wanted to kiss Shouyou. That same urge rises and presses against his senses; he wants, very much, to lean down and share that warmth with Shouyou, to know that he is safe and alive.

“Kei, I found some of your brother's clothes for Shouyou-kun,” calls his mother from the hallway. Kei starts and steps back quickly, his face heating up, and Shouyou gasps, stumbling backwards. Kei goes to retrieve the clothes wordlessly, leaving them on the shelf beside the towels. After he prepares the bath, he hesitates at the door, not daring to glance back. Shouyou has not said a word.

“My room is at the end of the hall, when you're done,” he says, and he leaves before Shouyou can think of replying.

Kei has to steady himself after the door closes. He realizes the danger of having Shouyou in his house now; if the storm worsens and Shouyou has to spend the night, Kei isn't sure how he will handle it.

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and Kei answers the call without looking at the name. “What is it?”

“I can't make it over there,” Kageyama says to Kei's dismay. “They closed the bridge because of the blizzard. He'll have to stay with you.”

“Of course,” Kei sighs. “My family won't mind. If they clear the roads in the morning, he should be able to make it home on his bike. If nothing else, my parents should be able to drive him.”

“Yeah. Thanks,” Kageyama grits out, making Kei roll his eyes.

“As always, our conversations leave a lot to be desired. Good-bye.”

Kei is about to end the call, when Kageyama speaks again, his voice low with menace. “If you do anything to him, I will fucking gut you, Tsukishima.” Kei straightens slowly, gripping the phone tightly and considering what he would like to do to Kageyama next time they meet. How dare he.

“Oh? What a lovely threat, your majesty. Overprotective much?”

“I mean it, you asshole!” Kageyama snarls. “Don't you dare touch him. He doesn't need someone like you fucking around with him. If you hurt him, I'll never let him near you again --”

“Let me make something clear,” Kei interrupts, and perhaps the rage in his voice is enough to silence Kageyama temporarily. “Whatever happens, or doesn't happen, between me and Hinata is none of your business. That will remain between the two of us. Frankly, I don't care whether you threaten me or not.”

He pauses, and he lets the same menace that Kageyama directed at him seep into his voice, while remaining polite. “However, do not say such things to Hinata. His choices are his own. His friends are his own. You are not his keeper, or his father, or his boyfriend, and you have no right to stop him from doing anything he wants to do, whether it is spend time with me or date anybody.”

For a long moment, Kageyama reminds silent, his seething breaths an irritation to Kei's ear. “So if he had a boyfriend, you'd back off?” he finally says, and the hint of triumph in his voice makes Kei's temper snap.

“I'm not 'backing off' from someone I care about,” Kei sneers. “Unless you intend to take the 'boyfriend' spot yourself, you had better stop threatening everyone who shows him the slightest bit of attention.”

“For the last fucking time, I am not gay, and I am not dating Hinata. But you --”

“This conversation is over,” Kei cuts him off. “I will return Hinata to you in one piece, your majesty. Until then, kindly fuck off.” He presses the 'end' button harder than necessary and throws the phone on his bed, fists clenching as he struggles with his anger. His phone buzzes again, but Kei ignores it, covering his face for a moment.

He had almost let it slip there. He would have to be extremely careful around Kageyama, who seems ready to fight him every step of the way. He doesn't need that kind of stress, and he does not want to force Shouyou to deal with it. He certainly doesn't want to deal with Kageyama, either.

Especially since Kei doesn't even intend to start anything with Shouyou. Kageyama should worry more about the guy Shouyou likes, after all.

A timid knock breaks into his thoughts, and Kei takes a deep breath and pulls open the door, hoping that he doesn't look angry. “Come in, Shouyou,” he says, then stops short, because Shouyou is wearing his clothes.

They had once been Akiteru's, long ago when Kei could grow into Akiteru's clothes. Then they had been Kei's until height had changed his wardrobe. Kei is surprised his mother still has them; they fit Shouyou reasonably well, if somewhat large on his short body. The sight of Shouyou in his clothes, a dark blue sweater and thick sweatpants, makes Kei's pulse quicken.

Perhaps Kageyama has reason to be wary for Shouyou's safety, after all.

Kei forces that thought away and steps aside, as Shouyou enters his room, eyes roaming around curiously. He stops briefly at Kei's desk, and Kei sighs to see him studying the dinosaur figurines; however, Shouyou says nothing about them and faces Kei, turning his phone over in his hands, towel hanging around his neck.

“Ah,” Kei says when he sees the phone, to Shouyou's confusion. A sweep of his closet later, Kei finds the charger to his old flip phone and hands it to Shouyou. “Go ahead and use my USB port. I'm going to go take a bath.”

“Thanks,” Shouyou says quietly, gaze flicking up through his bangs before he looks away. His cheeks are pink again, to Kei's irritation. “And... um, thanks for finding me. I'm sorry for being a bother...”

Kei can't handle the guilty sadness darkening Shouyou's eyes any more than he can handle his pleased blushes. He steps forward and pulls the towel up, ignoring Shouyou's squawk and rubbing his hair until it puffs up even worse than usual. For a moment he holds the ends of the towels in each hand, breathing in the scent of his bodywash on Shouyou's skin, before he forces himself to let go.

“As it happens, the King can't pick you up, and I'm not about to let you go out into that storm. You can spend the night here.” Kei picks up his phone and silences the buzzing of Kageyama's angry texts, rolling his eyes at the increased threats and dropping it on his desk. “The USB is here.”

“What?” Shouyou squeaks, then clears his throat. “Kageyama can't come?” He plugs the charger in and sets the phone beside Kei's, hesitating at his side.

“No, the bridge is closed, apparently. As for you being a bother...” Kei closes his eyes, unable to stop himself from imagining what might have happened. “You're not one. Now go downstairs and sit at the kotatsu, or else I'll be angry.” He flicks Shouyou in the forehead and pushes him out the door, even though Shouyou yelps and gives him a sour look. The light is back in his eyes, though, to Kei's relief.

“Jerk-shima,” Shouyou mutters, and Kei snorts.

“That's not something you should say in my house, Shou-chan,” he sings, the tightness in his chest easing as Shouyou bristles and sticks his tongue out. “The phone is by the kitchen, if you want to call your family. I'll be down in a little while.”

He waits until Shouyou has crept downstairs before he enters the bathroom, his smile dropping. He has no idea how to handle Shouyou spending the night with him. He just hopes nothing will happen.

When Kei returns to the living room, Shouyou has followed his directions to the tee and is fast asleep, head buried in his folded arms. Kei sighs, leaning in the doorway and watching him for a moment, before he shakes his head and goes to help his parents in the kitchen. His mother is preparing a small tray of snacks, and his father is standing at the stove, already started on dinner.

“Ah, there you are,” his mother says, smiling at him. “I was going to make you and Shouyou-kun some snacks, but he was already asleep when I checked on him. Poor boy, it's good you were able to find him.”

“Is it alright if he spends the night?” Kei asks, pulling down the cups and taking the teapot when his mother sets it at his elbow.

“Yes, I already talked to his mother. Do you mind if he stays in your room?” she inquires, and Kei almost drops the teapot. “Akiteru's room is still very messy, since the last time he visited. Besides, your room has that space heater, and I'm afraid it will be very cold tonight.” She sighs, and Kei silently curses his brother, his eyebrow ticking.

“That's fine.” His expression is too easy to read, though, if his father's snort and mother's smile are any indication. Kei quickly makes the tea and escapes to the living room.

It's as if the universe is pushing them together, and Kei doesn't like it one bit.

Shouyou is still asleep when Kei sets the tea down, but he chooses not to wake him. Shouyou's face is relaxed, for once, his messy orange hair falling over his face. Kei can hear his soft breaths, puffing against Kei's old sweater, and something in him softens.

His favorite blanket is hanging over the back of the sofa. Kei takes a moment to unfold it, gently setting it around Shouyou's shoulders, before settling across from him with a cup of tea and his book, but he can hardly concentrate on it.

“Mm,” Shouyou mumbles into his arms a while later, and Kei gives up on getting past the line he has been rereading for twenty minutes now. “Kei? Did I fall asleep?” Shouyou sits up slowly, rubbing at his eyes. Kei's nerves can't take the sight of his sleepy yawn.

Kei pushes his glasses up and looks out the window instead. The sun set not long ago, and the snow is piling up rapidly. “You looked like you needed the rest.”

“I think I did,” Shouyou admits, stretching his arms above his head, and Kei notices one of his sweater sleeves falling down and uncovering Shouyou's thin wrist. Shouyou shifts to his knees as his hands drop, pinching at the kotatsu blanket, craning his head and looking around -- anywhere but at Kei. In a flash Kei realizes that Shouyou is just as nervous as he is, though for different reasons; even more so because he is in someone else's house.

“Want some tea?” Kei offers, lifting the kettle from the hot plate and pouring Shouyou a cup when he nods, cheeks flushed pink. Shouyou accepts the tea gratefully, and Kei watches him, a small smile touching his lips.

Shouyou notices his attention and frowns at him over his tea cup. “What?”

“Nothing,” Kei replies after a moment. “Do you want to watch the concert I told you about the other day? It's on channel 20 tonight, and we can watch it after dinner.” Predictably, Shouyou's eyes light up, and he starts chattering excitedly about the artist they discovered together, easing the tension between them.

Perhaps they can do this, after all.

Dinner is awkward, with his parents asking questions of Kei's school life with undisguised curiosity, and Shouyou is torn between answering out of politeness and avoiding the conversation out of fear of Kei's glare.

The concert, though, is a study in Kei's patience. Though he really enjoys the artist, he finds his attention drawn to Shouyou's exhilarated expression more than to the actual program. A few of the songs ring true in his head, reminding him with every line of his ridiculous, unrequited crush. Yet Kei is still glad to share this with Shouyou. He wishes he could get them tickets to a real concert. He has been to a few in his youth, either with Akiteru or alone, but he wants to share that experience with Shouyou, who would surely love the rush of the crowd and the deafening, brilliant show.

When he returns from washing his face before bed, Kei finds several messages from Kageyama, which he ignores; Yamaguchi, which he expected; and Bokuto and Kuroo, which he did not.

From: Yamaguchi Tadashi
Subject: Hinata
Message: I'm glad you found Hinata! I can't believe he was missing. I made sure to tell Yachi-san, too, since Kageyama got everyone worked up over it. Is he staying at your house tonight?

From: Kuroo Tetsurou
Subject: (^~^) mwehehe
Message: Ohohoho, what's this, Tsukki-chan~? You have the little guy all alone on a cold snowy night? Remember to be gentle~ and use plenty of lube~ and tell me all the details tomorrow~ and don't make Kenma worry again or I'll hurt you~

From: Bokuto Kotarou
Subject: HINATA'S ALONE WITH YOU?
Message: SCORE FOR YOU TSUKKI!!! This is your lucky break!! Remember to go slow and be careful!! Use that magazine for inspiration!! I'm rooting for you!!! Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ

For a moment, Kei can only stare at the messages in dismay, sinking slowly onto his mattress. He wonders how everybody found out, then realizes that Shouyou's phone is missing, the old charger carefully wrapped into a coil. Shouyou must have texted Kozume, who in turn told Kuroo, who cannot keep his mouth shut to save his life. He regrets worrying Yamaguchi and Yachi, but that is more Kageyama's fault than anything. He doesn't bother replying to Bokuto or Kuroo and types out a response to Yamaguchi, his ears warming as he considers Bokuto's and Kuroo's implications.

No. Absolutely not. Not if he has anything to do with it.

His father already left the spare futon by his door, and Kei takes his time laying it out beside his bed while Shouyou is in the bathroom. They've slept in the same room before; but then, they were surrounded by other people, their teammates, Yamaguchi, and occasionally Kageyama. This is the first time they will share a room with only each other.

His nerves can only take so much. If Bokuto and Kuroo weren't determinedly rooting for him to bed Shouyou, he would ask them for advice. He doesn't dare ask Yamaguchi, who already gives him far too many knowing looks, and Kageyama is the last person in the world he would go to with a problem, let alone this one.

“Kei, is there any way to make friends stop texting you about stuff that's not even going to happen?” Shouyou whines as he enters the room, a small blush on his cheeks. Kei starts and stares at him, wondering wildly if Shouyou had read his mind, before his gaze narrows on Shouyou's phone, lit up with another message.

“Seems I have that same problem, so I don't know how much advice I can offer,” he replies warily, and Shouyou blinks at him, then laughs.

“It's like everyone on my contacts list is sending me messages tonight. Is it the same for you? It's like they think you'll murder me in my sleep or something,” he chuckles, plopping down on the futon beside Kei's legs and grinning up at him. “Even I know you'll wait till I'm awake to do it.”

Kei rolls his eyes, knocking Shouyou's shoulder with his knee. “It's like they don't know us at all,” he drawls as Shouyou pushes back against his leg. “The weather report says there's already six inches of snow out there. You might be stuck with me for longer than either of us wants, so murder isn't out of the question.” He smirks when Shouyou twists around with a growl.

“Maybe I'll do you in first!” Shouyou argues, then brightens and twists toward the window. “Six inches? Really? I want to see!” He bounds across the room, opening the curtains and peering out at the street, where everything is lit with the street lamp, the world silent and cold beneath a blanket of snow. “Wow,” Shouyou whispers, as Kei stops beside him.

They survey the whitened world of ice and wind, quiet. Shouyou opens his phone and takes a few pictures gleefully, then busies himself with his messages, while Kei watches the falling snow, until the chill from outside begins to seep through the glass. Kei shuts the curtains again, Shouyou's shoulder pressing back against his chest. He catches a glimpse of Shouyou's phone over his shoulder when it chimes, and his heart skips a beat at the message he sees.

From: Kozume Kenma
Subject: Re: what do i do!!!
Message: i don't know much about relationships... but don't they start with things like kissing? that's what kuro says to do

Shouyou doesn't realize Kei is looking, which is good, because Kei cannot move. He watches in stunned silence as Shouyou quickly types out a reply.

To: Kozume Kenma
Subject: Re: what do i do!!!
Message: i can't kiss kei!!! he'd murder me if i tried ( ´△｀;) kenmaaaa

It's me he likes? Kei thinks, and for once the rest of his mind is mute.

From: Kozume Kenma
Subject: Re: what do i do!!!
Message: well... try telling him you like him, then

“I can't do that either,” Shouyou moans to himself, then freezes up, finally noticing Kei behind him. He turns around slowly, putting on a wide smile that does not fool Kei, though he admits it might have a few weeks ago. “Er, what are we doing now?”

Instead of replying, Kei catches Shouyou's shoulders in his hands, holding him still. For once he feels calm, his usual endless rumination silent in the face of his realization. He has been holding himself back for months, denying his fascination and desire, and here Shouyou is struggling with the same feelings, the same want, the same hopeless need. Moment after moment of falling into Shouyou's brilliant light, and all this time Kei thought it was only him.

“Tell me, then,” Kei orders, and Shouyou stiffens, his eyes widening and his mouth falling open. His fingers, reaching for Kei's wrists, falter and fall limp against his skin.

“What?” he whispers.

“I can't get you out of my head. I've been daydreaming about you for ages. No one else makes me feel this frustrated and irritated, and it's always been you. It will always be just you.” Kei breathes in shakily, letting go of Shouyou's shoulder to touch his face. “I can't take it anymore. Please tell me it's the same for you.”

“You...” Shouyou's hands are shaking now, and his phone clatters to the floor, but neither of them pays attention to it as it chimes again. “You like me? Really?”

Every nerve in Kei's body on fire, but he meets Shouyou's wide eyes without fear, refusing to back down now. “Yes,” he says softly, mouth dry as he holds his breath, and in that word he reveals more about himself than he ever wanted. No one has ever seen him this vulnerable; but he thinks it will be alright, since it's Shouyou.

Shouyou's face is bright red, and Kei's answer hangs between them, stretching the silence into something forbidden, that had never been uttered between them before. The thought occurs to Kei that perhaps he was mistaken; that Shouyou meant someone else, that he just made a fool of himself and lost someone very important to him -- and as Kei's thoughts begin to spiral, Shouyou leans up and kisses him.

His lips are soft, and he tastes of Kei's toothpaste. His kiss is warmth and sweetness and perfection. He smells like home, and nothing has ever incited Kei more. After a beat he kisses Shouyou back, unsure of the right movements but unafraid to try, and the noise Shouyou makes is enough to satisfy him for the rest of his life.

“Shouyou,” he murmurs, sliding his hand back through Shouyou's hair, his body heating up as Shouyou lets out a low groan. The night outside is cold, and there is still a shiver of fear in Kei's heart, but Shouyou is warmth and comfort and everything he ever wanted, and Kei kisses him again, more certain now.

“I like you,” Shouyou breathes when they break part, his soft words brushing over Kei's tingling lips. “Kei, I like you,” he says again, his eyes clear as he meets Kei's gaze.

“Good,” Kei murmurs, unable to stop the swell of emotion in his chest. He cups Shouyou's face and kisses his forehead, unwilling to hold himself back. He realizes after a moment that he is pressing Shouyou against the window, where the chill is creeping in, and gently he pulls Shouyou away, but he cannot quite let him go.

Kei doesn't dare invite him to the bed, but he cannot resist tilting Shouyou's face up and kissing him again, until Shouyou squirms away, blushing vividly but not quite escaping Kei's hands.

“Too warm,” Shouyou gasps, ducking his head and hiding his heated face in Kei's sweater. Slowly, hoping that Shouyou will not reject him, Kei lowers his face, nose brushing Shouyou's soft hair. Shouyou feels good in his arms, fitting into them easily, and Kei does not wish to let go.

“Sorry,” he murmurs. Shouyou's hands touch his waist gingerly, then with more certainty, his fingers a brand through the thick layers of his clothes.

“No, it's fine! I really like it,” Shouyou insists as he lifts his head. His face is close enough that Kei can feel the heat of his blush. “Just, maybe more slowly? I've never kissed anybody before.” If possible, Shouyou's blush deepens, and Kei's own face is hot, overwhelmingly warm beneath Shouyou's avid attention.

“I haven't either. Slow is fine with me.” Shouyou beams at him, and after a moment Kei slides his arms around Shouyou's back, before he dips his head to capture that smile with a kiss, softer than the last.

They take the time to explore each other this way; Kei pursing his lips when Shouyou's hands move to his back; Shouyou murmuring his name and tilting his head up more; Kei catching a breath as Shouyou draws away.

Shouyou keeps his eyes closed as Kei opens his, burrowing deeper into Kei's arms as if to hide himself away. “Is this real?” he asks in a small voice, his ear pressed to Kei's chest.

“I don't know,” Kei admits. His heart is throbbing, hard enough to rattle out of his rib cage. When Shouyou pulls away, Kei puts his hand over his heart to calm it -- as if to keep it from leaping away. Shouyou's eyes follow the movement, and after a beat he smiles, pressing the palm of his hand beside Kei's fingers.

“Mine's the same,” Shouyou whispers, and Kei reaches up and rests long fingers over Shouyou's heart. He feels it then -- the pounding of Shouyou's nerves, the overwhelming want, and his heart clenches. Shouyou laughs, exhilarated and happy, and Kei realizes he is smiling.

Shouyou's gaze flicks upward, striking Kei still. “It's been beating like that for months over you.”

Kei breathes in sharply, unable to believe his ears. His knees almost buckle. “But... you never even gave a hint...”

“Actually,” Shouyou differs sheepishly, his cheeks blooming red again, “according to Kenma and Kuroo-san and Kageyama and Suga-san and Yachi-san and Bokuto-san and --”

“I get the picture,” Kei cuts in, covering his face for a moment as Shouyou grins, his fingers entwining with Kei's hand over his heart. He is shocked by some of those names, and he wonders just how many of their teammates have noticed what he was oblivious to for so long. “Here I thought...”

“Me too.” Shouyou can't seem to tear his gaze from Kei's face, and as Kei drops his hand, Shouyou leans up for another soft kiss. Kei pulls him closer, relishing his solidity, the weight of Shouyou's hands on his hips.

“Shouyou,” he murmurs, and the way Shouyou inhales sharply over his name sends a jolt through him. He has to force himself to pull away before either of them becomes overwhelmed again.

Shouyou clears his throat, nervously glancing up at Kei and away. “All evening, everyone's been texting me about how it's my chance, but... I was scared. If you hadn't seen Kenma's text... I probably wouldn't have said anything. I didn't want you to hate me.”

Kei shakes his head once, gripping Shouyou's hand tightly. “I couldn't hate you. I thought you liked someone else, and... I was afraid to admit to caring about you. I've been denying you for so long, I thought it was impossible... but then...” Kei shakes his head, exasperated with himself and their friends. “In principle, I'm sorry for reading your messages, but... I'm not sorry at the same time. Not if it means we can have this.”

Shouyou's face lights up, and he kisses Kei again, deeper than before, until Kei has to push him away to breathe. Shouyou grins, bright as the sun, and Kei's mouth twitches upward in a smile again. His cheeks hurt, but being with Shouyou like this feels natural.

A chime distracts them both, and Shouyou laughs sheepishly to see his phone on the floor. “I never responded to Kenma. I hope he doesn't get suspicious,” he says, leaning down to pick up his phone, though he doesn't open it yet. Instead he takes Kei's hand and leads him over to the futon, his face bright red as he pulls Kei down to sit.

Kei drops down carefully, scooting back to lean against his bed, watching as Shouyou sits next to him, still holding his hand. His face is averted as he opens his phone, and Kei smiles slightly, bringing their hands up together and squeezing Shouyou's small fingers. He enjoys the resulting flush spreading to Shouyou's ears, peeking up through his messy hair.

After a moment Shouyou groans, snapping his phone shut and chucking it on the futon. “Stupid Kageyama,” he mutters, and Kei has to roll his eyes. “It shouldn't even matter to him! Why is he being so stupid about this?”

“I can hazard a guess,” he says dryly, reaching for his own phone. Sure enough, he has several missed messages, most of them more threats, and he opens one of the messages and wordlessly shows it to Shouyou. “His majesty can't stand me on a good day, and I'm taking away his favorite toy. It's any wonder he hasn't braved the blizzard to break in and put a halt to our indecent activities.”

Shouyou growls upon reading the message, but he blushes at Kei's insinuation. “He's going to be so annoying about it too, if I tell him,” Shouyou moans, sinking against Kei's side. “And Bokuto-san, too... and everyone who's been rooting me on, they're going to be so smug about it, like 'I told you so!' and I don't want to listen to them.”

Kei remains silent for a moment, his thumb brushing over Shouyou's knuckles. “How many people really know?”

Shouyou sinks a bit lower, pressing his flushed cheeks against Kei's arm, though Kei is not impressed with his attempt at hiding. “Um... Kageyama, he said he figured it out before I even told him.” Shouyou notices Kei's scowl and grins. “Yeah, me too. Um, most of my class... Yachi-san... Takeda-sensei --”

“What,” Kei interjects flatly.

“Suga-san,” Shouyou continues as if he hadn't heard, “Tanaka-senpai, Noya-senpai, Kenma, Kuroo-san, Natsu --”

“Your sister?!”

“Lev, Inuoka, Yamaguchi --”

“Stop,” Kei groans, pushing Shouyou away as he starts laughing. Instead of showing any sign of remorse, Shouyou grins up at him, his happiness infectious, but Kei refuses to smile again. His mouth twitches traitorously. “I haven't even told Yamaguchi myself, how could he know about your side of it?”

“He caught me staring at you one day,” Shouyou explains, glancing at Kei then away again, sheepish. “Um, you were changing, and I usually don't pay attention to anyone in the club room, but your undershirt was dirty so you took it off, and I could see your whole back for once, and... um... well, I guess he saw me drooling over your shoulders, so...”

Kei cannot take his eyes off Shouyou. His heart is beating in his ears again; he wishes very much to lean down and kiss the embarrassment away, and he realizes that he can. “You're too much,” he sighs, brushing his thumb over Shouyou's pinkened cheek. He starts when Shouyou reaches up to take his glasses, blinking down at him, while Shouyou chuckles nervously and sets them aside.

“I like seeing you like this,” Shouyou admits, his eyes fastened to Kei's naked features. “It kinda always gives me a thrill when you put on your sports glasses. Which are really cool,” he adds, grinning mischievously, and Kei rolls his eyes.

“Idiot,” he says fondly, sighing as Shouyou laughs, shifting to kneel in front of Kei, who follows the fluid movement in admiration that, before, he never would have revealed to anyone, let alone Shouyou himself. He reaches up to cup Shouyou's face, pressing the flats of his fingers against his warm neck. I can't do this, he doesn't think.

Finally, he thinks instead.

“Is it okay to kiss you?” Kei murmurs, and though Shouyou blushes again -- Kei will never get tired of seeing that reaction -- he nods. Kei pulls him closer deliberately, drinking in his soft gasp with relish. “I'll try to go slowly,” he murmurs as Shouyou's arms wrap around his neck. “Tell me if it's too much.”

“You too,” Shouyou whispers, opening his eyes to look at Kei, his eyes crinkling with happiness. “Now are you gonna kiss me or not?”

Kei does not resist him again.

He had fought against this for months, denying himself the chance to grasp what he wanted. He had rationalized himself into the corner of his mind that refused to need love -- and truly, Kei does not need this. He does not need Hinata Shouyou's regard, or the strength of his embrace, or the trust in his bright, clear gaze.

But Kei wants it, and for this moment, and all of the moments that will follow, he pretends no longer. In this moment, nothing else matters but the warmth of Shouyou in his arms.

Chapter Text

The morning of the training camp, Kei meets Shouyou by the gym doors, long before anyone else has arrived, except for Coach Ukai and Takeda-sensei. Ukai grins at them and takes their bags before loading them into the warm bus, and Shouyou lingers at Kei's side before sitting down in his usual spot.

Kei sits beside him, and Shouyou's face lights up.

"Yamaguchi won't mind?" he asks quietly, mindful of Takeda-sensei standing up near the door. His fingers slip between Kei's, shyly, and Kei shakes his head, glancing out the window.

"No, he won't. I'm more worried about Kageyama, actually."

Shouyou scoffs, and Kei rewards the noise by gripping his hand, making Shouyou smile. Then Shouyou shakes his head, slumping a little and rubbing his arm with his other hand. "I already talked to him, and he's promised not to be an ass about it. But I have my doubts, too." He and Kei share a grin, and they settle down to wait for the others.

Azumane is the first one onto the bus. He glances at them, nods in greeting, then does a double take to see Kei and Shouyou actually sitting together. For a moment Azumane seems to waver, then nods to them again and sits down near the front.

Kei releases a breath. One down, nine to go.

Sawamura and Sugawara are next, bundling themselves into the bus as Sugawara whines about the cold. He brightens at seeing Shouyou, who waves at him, and Sawamura follows with a small frown as Sugawara comes over to greet them.

"Good morning, Hinata!" Sugawara says, cheered by Shouyou's bright smile and returned greeting. Then he notices Kei and their held hands, and that's when his gaze sharpens with interest, glancing between them rapidly before practically beaming with pride.

"So it's official, huh? Good on you, Hinata! And you, Tsukishima!"

Sawamura stares blankly at them, and Sugawara quickly packs him up and shoves him back down to where Azumane is sitting. "I'll tell you all about it later, Daichi," Sugawara says, and Shouyou has to hide a laugh as Sawamura squints at them suspiciously.

Kei chuckles and takes a moment to pull out his headphones, setting them around his neck and starting up one of the soundtracks Shouyou likes. Shouyou beams at him, his cheeks flushed with nervous happiness, and Kei squeezes his hand reassuringly.

Yachi and Shimizu appear next, and Yachi exchanges waves with Shouyou before hunkering down in her seat beside Shimizu. Yamaguchi follows, yawning and heading for the seat in front of Kei, grinning at them with a surreptitious thumbs up.

Then it's Kageyama, who stops as soon as he sees them together, his dark eyes narrowing into a glare. Kei returns the stare evenly, refusing to be cowed. Kageyama had his chance, and it's not like Kei was ever going to listen to him, anyway. Beside Kei, Shouyou clears his throat loudly.

"Kageyama, sit down." Kageyama glares for another moment, then stomps over to them and sits beside Yamaguchi, all the while glaring at Kei.

Kei meets his eyes once more, then pointedly looks away, to Shouyou. It's too early for antagonism. Thankfully Kageyama seems to be holding in the disapproval undoubtedly brewing in his head, leaving Shouyou to relax beside Kei.

The second years are last, loud and annoying as they are, and all five take up residence at the back of the bus. Tanaka hardly notices them, shuffling toward an empty seat with a glazed expression, but Nishinoya pauses beside them, his eagle eyes finding their entwined hands immediately. Nishinoya stares.

"Are you two dating?"

All noise on the bus stops. Kei raises an eyebrow, while Shouyou turns a vivid pink. In front of them, Kageyama twists to stare at them all, drawing the attention of everyone on the bus, no longer subtle in their interest.

"Um, well," Shouyou dithers, then clears his throat. "Yeah. Yeah, we are."

Nishinoya stares another moment, gobsmacked. "Really? You and Tsukishima?"

Tanaka makes a noise, as if to interrupt, but it is Kageyama who stands up suddenly, looming over Nishinoya. "Yeah, what of it? You got a problem with it?"

At that, everyone stares at Kageyama, including Shouyou, whose mouth has fallen open in shock. Nishinoya blinks up at Kageyama, then laughs, patting Kageyama on the shoulder.

"Nah, not at all! It just means Tanaka won our bet!" He laughs again and heads to the back of the bus, where Tanaka starts bragging about the two thousand yen he won off Nishinoya. Shouyou barely notices the noise, still staring up at Kageyama, who refuses to look at him.

"If anyone from Nekoma or Fukurodani gives you trouble this week, tell me," Kageyama mutters, then throws himself back into his seat, refusing to speak to any of them again, no matter how much Shouyou pesters him.

Kei stares at the back of Kageyama's head, eyes narrowed, then shakes his head and looks back out the window. That had been... unexpected, but it doesn't change anything.

Hopefully, anyway.

Shouyou flops back in his seat, huffing at Kageyama's reticience, then leans against Tsukishima's side with a shaky sigh. They had done it -- and no one had said anything bad, no one had judged them badly. They still had to deal with their friends on their rival teams, but at least this one hurdle has been passed.

Kei smiles when Shouyou rests his head against his shoulder, turning up his music so that Shouyou can hear it, too. He has what he wanted.