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  1. Darling, I Hate You, Too by

    Fandoms: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)  

    20 Aug 2024

    Tags
    Summary

    "I miss the little pests," Zyrlyss said. "They called me 'greatness' and bowed. I can't expect that from you people, can I?"

    "Well, you could get someone on their knees, perhaps," Astarion gave him an inspired look, leaning forward. "I'll let you know if I see someone desperate."

    Lolth-sworn and lolz-sworn, Zyrlyss is a chaotic evil drow mathematician. He loves power, puns and Astarion (in that order). What he doesn't love is the Surface. Lolth was right to advise her children not to go here. The sun, the weather, the echoless void of the sky? Disgusting. Too bad he got himself into a ten-year contract for Surface work. So, in that regard, getting infected by a mind-flayer tadpole was a blessing—not only did it grant him a unique career opportunity, it led him to meet Astarion—a rare normal person on the Surface.

    This story has:
    - Puns
    - Frustrated bi-lingual bitching
    - Lingering culture shock
    - Elements of drow lore (which I treat as the Pirate Code; driders are drow angels, I will not accept any inquiries)

    It doesn't have:
    - Morals
    - Redemption arcs

    The plot is set during the in-game timeline and focuses on Astarion's personal quest.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,677
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    12
    Hits:
    2,308