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The Bentley tore through London, and out onto the open road. Crowley let out his anger and frustration by putting his foot down, and revelling in the speed as the Bentley tore madly across the landscape.
City streets eventually melted into crisp ocean air, and a cliffside out to his right. There wasn't a soul in sight. As good a place to pull over as any.
Crowley parked on the side of the road, and burst out of the Bentley, slamming the door behind him. He stormed towards the precipice. Then he screamed out all his grief and frustration and fear.
"BASTARDS! YOU TOOK HIM AWAY FROM ME!"
He felt tears peaking at his eyes. He didn't think he could hold them back anymore. No one was around here. So he took off his glasses and let the tears flow.
He stared at the sky. At Aziraphale.
"Why did you do this?" he asked in a small voice, as though Aziraphale was here, listening.
He squeezed his eyes shut, tears pouring now. His breaths came out ragged. His next words came out like a prayer to his angel.
"I only ever asked questions. That's all I ever did. And for that, they felt it worthy to kick me out of Heaven. Don't pity me, though, Angel. I left, and I never looked back. I didn't belong there, even when I was an angel. That's what I came to realise. Being there... I used to think I belonged, but I never did. Heaven's not that different to Hell. Only difference is, at least Hell admits what it is. In Heaven, you never know where you stand. Not until you lose it all...
"Don't you see? I can't go back. I can't ever go back, not really. It's not home. Not like you are. And it's not because they won't have me, or because I'm a demon. They kill kids. They would destroy the world just to have their petty war. They would kill you. They're not worthy of me. And they're not worthy of you, either. You go along with them as far as you can go. And then what? What happens when they cross another line? What will you do...?"
Crowley hung his head. It scared him, thinking what they might do to him up there, when they inevitably turned on him. And Crowley wouldn't be there to protect him this time. Tears flowed off his cheeks into the ground. But Aziraphale had finally gone to the one place he couldn't follow. And truth be told, Crowley was terrified of losing him.
He looked up at the sky, at the clouds on the horizon.
"Oh, Angel. What have you done?
"I don't think you realise, do you, what you were asking of me. You were asking me to just disregard my whole life. Go back to Heaven, that abusive family, and just forget that they betrayed me. Maybe you could do that, forgiving as you are. But I never could. Don't ask me to. I hate Heaven and Hell equally. I don't want either of them. I just want you. You're the only one I've ever met who was worthy of my loyalty. I just want you back, Angel. Just come back to me."
With that, the prayer ended. And then he cried and cried and cried.
When he was done, Crowley took a deep breath. He dried his eyes. Then he got back into the Bentley and drove away.