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Shepherd liked to think of himself as someone who was cool and collected, that took in information and based his actions on what he can see and understand, someone who didn’t let panic override him, leaving him unable to do anything but focus on that panic. Perhaps at one point he would have said he achieved that, that he was that person who could remain calm and collected no matter what happened but he couldn’t anymore. Not since Barovia, walking out of that hellscape leading those that sought freedom, the lantern tightly within his grasp, the stench of smoke clinging to him. He had changed since then, afraid of losing anyone else that was important to him, Sarnax had been close to him, speaking of fire and flames, the beauty of his God and Shepherd knew that the lizardfolk was with Gherix…but it didn’t stop him from changing. Reborn from that nightmare into who he was now, Shepherd swallowed as he scanned the ranch from where he was perched, hands rubbing along his jeans, gaze flickering to anything that moved. He had slept in somehow and no one woke him, Torbek hadn’t woken him when he got up and that wasn’t bad, Shepherd wasn’t upset about that but it was the fact that he couldn’t find the bugbear.
He had searched everywhere, the whole ranch thinking that perhaps he had simply missed him in his search. Torbek blended in easily, slinking into the shadows unseen at points so not being able to find him wasn’t too worrisome…other than it's been half the day and Shepherd hasn’t seen or heard from the bugbear at all. Any and all chores having stopped from being completed as he ran through the ranch, double checking spots, calling for his lover with thoughts of Barovia within his mind. No, Torbek wasn’t taken, there wasn’t any way in hell that someone would take the bugbear, no one from Barovia would have since that hellish realm was gone, burned in the fire of Gherix, Shepherd knew that, but that didn’t mean someone from Torbeks past didn’t come and grab him. Chest tightens at the thought, forcing his legs to move faster, hollering louder now in hopes of finding him.
He didn’t notice someone running at him, not looking at his surroundings as he continued to run only to slam into something, a sharp yelp falling from lips as he stumbled back, strong arms wrapping around him swiftly to keep him from falling to the ground.
“Where’s the fire?” Gideons drawl fills his ears, soothing him as the warmth of the fire genasi washes over him. Shepherd wanted to remain there, the comfort welcomed but the trickling panic pushed against the warmth, the icy feeling of concern clawing itself up his spine again. Head tilts up, peering up at Gideon as teeth gnawed at his lip.
“Torbeks missin’, I haven’t been able ta find him and it’s been all day.” Shepherd explained swiftly, pulling back, “You see him?”
“Nah, been working for your pops in one of the barns, fixing up some equipment and all that, heard ya hollering and came running. Ya sure that Torbek ain’t around, he might be tall but bugger can hide decently.” Gideon explained, brows furrowing ever so slightly, “You check that devil of a sheep?”
“I’ve been there twice! Mammon is sleeping and Torbek ain’t with him! He’s not on the ranch! What if something happened, what if someone took him?” Panic settled again within his bones, the visual of fire flashing within memories' eyes, screams and panic echoing in his ears and Shepherd jerked back, needing to find the bugbear, just wanting to make sure that he was alright and nothing had happened. He wouldn’t be able to handle if something happened, that he wasn’t there.
“Whoa! Ain’t nothing happened to Torbek, I’ll help ya look, but first-“ Gideon moved, grabbing onto Shepherds hand, squeezing tightly, “Breathe out every time I squeeze ya hand, focus on my breathing and follow it…looks like your gonna pass out and that ain’t gonna help no one.”
Mouth opens to argue, to explain that they didn’t have the time to be doing this if someone had taken their bugbear but Shepherd stared at the concerned look being aimed at him, the squeezing of his hand and exaggerated breathing following and tiefling found himself following along with it. A squeeze of his hand, he exhaled, the soft whistle of an inhale signaling that he needed to inhale and Shepherd followed it as much as he could, in and out, focusing on the warmth that remained, chasing away the chill once again. In and out. He wasn’t sure how long it took to feel that tight feeling within his chest fade, the exhaustion that seemed to bubble up now hitting him and Shepherd leaned forward.
“Better Little Man?” Gideon questioned, nickname sending a spark of amusement down his spine, wanting to challenge the fire genasi and show he wasn’t little but Shepherd didn’t feel it, not now.
“Yeah, I feel calmer, ain’t helped in finding Torbek none though.”
Shepherd leaned back slightly, frowning to glance around almost unsure on what to do, wanting to again seek out the bugbear but that rising chill of panic didn’t follow, instead there was a calming warmth, something grounding him to the here and now. “But I’m better now and I ain’t worried…I probably just missed him in my panic.”
Gideon smiled, holding him close, a gentle kiss to his forehead before pulling back, keeping his hand intertwined with Shepherds, “It’s alright, lets take another look and if he doesn’t pop up then -“
“What are you two doing? Thought I told ya to follow Torbek and those kids to the river when you were done with your chores! Its hot as a devils arse out here!” The Good Doc yelled from the dirt road, heads snapping to peer at the older male that wandered close, a towel wrapped around shoulders and swim trunks soaked, “Unless you two found other ways to keep cool but from the looks of it, the activities ain’t cooling you down…”
“Doc!” Shepherd cried, cheeks inflamed now, hiding his face with the brim of his hat.
“Hah!” Gideon snorted, shaking his head and snorting more, “I wish but ain’t what happened, we were looking for Torbek, didn’t know he was down at the river.”
“Sure, I thought I told ya two bout that before I left. Must have forgotten…well, he’s down there swimming with that there owlbear and some of the kiddos. Too hot to do anything else at this time. You two are done for today, go enjoy the water.” The Good Doc hummed, shrugging before waving them off, “Get out of here! Go be lovey with your other man!”
Another snort fell from his lips as Gideon felt Shepherd sink further into himself, embarrassment clear and fire genasi shifted, moving to pull the tiefling with him down the path, leading him out of the ranches land and towards the small pathway that would lead down to the river, careful on the loose dirt and pebbles, going down to where the rushing water was. Gaze falls to the group of people splashing around, Torbek sitting on one of the larger stones that was half emerge watching the kids splash and swim around, excitement bubbling within his chest at the idea of being able to swim and throw some kids into the water but Gideon paused as Shepherd pulled at his hand to slow him down. Attention turns, peering at the still flushed tiefling, brow raised now but paused seeing the embarrassment, the relief in dark eyes.
“Just wanted to say thank you for ya know, calming me down and all, I…I couldn’t find him and ever since Barovia, I thought the worse.” Shepherd mumbled, running his free hand down his face.
“Don’t be. We all get worried and with everything you've been through, I would have panicked too. Just glad no ones hurt and that you’re okay.” Gideon replied easily, pulling the shorter male towards him, pulling him into a hug, “Don’t ever be sorry, I ain’t gonna judge or make fun of ya, you care and it shows Shepherd.”
Shepherd blinked, flushing again before glancing away, down the trail towards the figures still playing, peering at them all having fun and he leans closer to Gideon, shuffling to his side and holding him close. “Love you.”
“Love ya too Little Man”