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This was awful. Terrible. Horrifically embarrassing and terrifying and he really, really just wanted to go home.
But he couldn’t. Because this was his idea. He, Itoshi Sae, had asked Isagi Yoichi out on a date and now he regretted every moment since they first began seeing each other in a casual way.
It wasn’t because of Isagi. No, in fact Isagi was absolutely amazing, and was the only good thing about this mortifying afternoon. Listening to him talk, rambling on about his favorite tv show and manga and the most recent movie he’s seen was almost calming, relaxing in the weirdest way. Honestly, listening to Isagi and spending time with him was wonderful, so it didn’t really make sense why he was feeling so pathetic at this moment.
Sae had already been nervous about this date, as it was the first one in a very long time that he was actually looking forward to. He wanted this relationship to actually go somewhere for once, and not just be a casual fling. He wanted to make a good impression, even if he and Isagi already knew each other well enough through football.
While he had considered and prepared many things while getting ready for this date, the one thing he hadn’t prepared was the one thing he sucked the most at.
Conversation.
What did they have to talk about?
Sae immediately felt a sense of dread when Isagi asked him the first question of the night…about what he liked .
Football wasn’t the correct answer apparently, because Isagi laughed, thinking Sae had made some sort of joke.
“No, what do you like besides football?” Isagi asked again, this time trying to guide Sae towards a more definitive answer. “Movies? Video Games? Books? What's your favorite thing to eat?”
Sae pondered his answer, scratching the inside of his arm absentmindedly as he considered….what did he like? He wasn’t quite sure… He didn’t really do much besides football. He didn’t follow any shows that Isagi might know, nor did he regularly go out for movies. He had been listening to the same musicians since he was 13, as they provided him some sort of comfort and sense of home while he was overseas…
He was behind, in every sense of the world, when it came to the things that normal Japanese teenagers knew and enjoyed.
Isagi stared at him patiently, smiling softly while he waited for Sae to respond. He didn’t rush him, or try to get him to answer. He just gave him time to think, not drawing any attention to the fact that it was a bit strange that Sae got caught off guard at such a simple question.
“Favorite food… do you know much about Spanish food?” Sae asked, thinking of a dish that he had after first moving to Spain, and now had on such a regular basis because it feigned being healthy with its rice and seafood.
Isagi shook his head, leaning in over their table as he rested his chin on his hand. “No, but I’d like to try it all one day! It seems yummy, but you’d have to recommend what to order.”
Sae flushed, casting his gaze to the side at Isagi’s positive, excited outlook. It was a tad overwhelming and unexpected that Isagi would already be looking towards the future of their relationship, when to Sae, this date felt like a disaster and a half.
Deflecting from himself, Sae picked at his nails, asking the same question of Isagi. “Well, what’s your favorite food?”
Isagi grinned, telling him all about his favorite meals and sweets and the best thing that his mom makes. Isagi never missed a beat, keeping up the flow of conversation, even when Sae needed a moment to think. He made Sae feel at ease, as if he wasn’t as big of a let down in a date as he expected to be, and he always expressed so much enthusiasm with what Sae had to say. Even if it felt pathetic to admit certain things about himself, like what he hadn’t seen and what he had traded away for a professional football career.
“You missed out on a lot while in Spain, huh?” Isagi asked, his expression concerned but not pitying.
“Something like that… I haven’t had much free time to keep up with anything while focusing on football.”
“That makes so much sense now!” Isagi sat up straight, clapping his hands together like he had just had the best idea in the world. “I know! Why don’t you come over? We can watch some of my favorite movies that you haven’t seen.”
“Come over…like to your house?” Sae questioned, curious with the idea of visiting Isagi’s home for such an innocent reason… Another new experience that didn’t sound quite so terrible.
“Yeah, I’m sure my parents will be fine with it!” Isagi leaned back, suddenly embarrassed by his own enthusiasm, before offering “If you want to that is. I wouldn’t mind continuing our date a little bit longer…”
It felt nice, Sae decided, to have someone like Isagi be excited to spend time with him and just be with him. Isagi didn’t try to spend all of his time talking about football like so many others before. He didn’t want to be close to him just because of who he was publicly, and he didn’t want all of the fame and attention that came as a package deal with being his partner.
No…Isagi simply seemed to want him. Not Itoshi Sae, the prodigy and football star, but Itoshi Sae the person. The person who didn’t know how to be 18 and didn’t know how to talk about anything interesting. The person who was riddled with so much self-doubt as soon as he stepped off of the field because he knew he had a shit personality and wasn’t easy to get along with and had decided a while ago that maybe it was just better to be alone because then he wouldn’t have to worry.
He wouldn’t have to worry about a partner or what they thought of him or if they were bored. He could focus on himself, rather than making someone else happy. But Isagi gathered so much happiness from just being within Sae’s atmosphere. He didn’t ask him for much, and didn’t expect Sae to be a certain way. He just was happy by his side, talking to him and exposing him to the casual, relaxed dating life he had missed out on.
Spending more time with Isagi would be good for him, in so many different ways.
“I’d love that, honestly. I’m not ready for our date to end either.