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Benjamin Hope.
Year 12. Transferred from Truham to Higgs for Sixth Form. Has already got girls all over him, and he's only been here a week. And, most of all, he's an absolute twat.
The first time I interacted with Ben Hope was on Wednesday. I bumped into him in the corridor, and embarrassingly, my books fell out of my hands and slid across the floor. Ben looked at me, judging whether or not he should help me pick up my books. He eventually decided against it, instead opting to watch as I scrambled to pick up my books. "Hey, cutie." Ben says suddenly, and I am disgusted. He's trying to flirt with me. He thinks I'm just another dumb girl who he can manipulate into falling for him. I laugh, a dry, sad excuse for a laugh. "I'm Ben." he says, winking at me. His hazel eyes shine in the light, but not in the way that Charlie's eyes shine when he's talking with his boyfriend Nick, or how Olly's eyes shine when he gets the toy he wanted. No, this shine is sinister and evil, a devilish glint. I feel like I am staring into his soul, searching him for any redeeming trait.
"I know. And I already think that you suck." I say. I refuse to play his game. "What is your problem?" Ben asks, the glint still shining in his eyes. He grins. He's enjoying trying to mess with me. "It's you who has a problem, not me. I'm not the one who has some sort of obsession with manipulating dumb teen girls into falling for them." I told him, not caring that my annoyance was clear in my tone of voice. "But you did fall for me. Literally." Ben says, and I am so disgusted I begin to feel a little nauseous. "Well, I'll break your skull. Literally." I reply, looking at him with serious eyes. "Awww, cute threat." Ben says, his grin widening as he snickers a little at my comment. "This conversation is over." I snapped, then I stormed off.
***
That evening, after dinner, I asked Charlie about what he knew about Ben Hope. I stood in the doorway to his bedroom and said, "Hello.". My sudden noise caused Charlie to flinch and drop his phone. "Jesus, Tori! You scared the living daylights out of me!" Charlie says. "I want to talk to you about something." I reply. "What?" Charlie asks. "There's a new boy at Higgs, he's a dick. I wondered if you knew of him, since he transferred from Truham." I said, slowly entering the room. "Oh. Maybe. What's his name?" Charlie asked. "Benjamin Hope." I said.
Charlie froze. He began to bite his nails. "Was Ben one of the boys who bullied you when you came out?" I asked. Charlie shook his head, still biting his nails anxiously. He stops biting them for a minute, and lets out a small, barely audible squeak. Fuck, I've really upset him now, he's anxious-stimming. "Well, obviously he did something, you've practically gone mute." I said. Charlie begins to cry a little, obviously very triggered by mention of Ben. "Charlie. Can you at least try to tell me what happened with Ben?" I asked, grabbing Charlie's hand, which was now shaking uncontrollably. "I... I can't." Charlie stutters, instinctively reaching for Kitty, his stuffed toy cat. That thing has been Charlie's comfort item since I can remember, and while a small part of me thinks it's a little cringe that a 15-year-old still has a comfort item, the better part of my brain thinks it's cute, and knows that Charlie has a reason for needing it. He buries his face in the soft toy. His cries become louder, and I can hear him hyperventilating. It seems to me that Charlie may be having a panic attack.
I hug him. Usually I don't like hugs (or any form of physical touch, for that matter), but I can tell he needs one. "Charlie... look at me." I said. Charlie looks up and our eyes meet for a second, before he gets uncomfortable with the eye contact and looks at my hair instead. "Can we do some breathing exercises until you calm down?" I ask. Charlie nods, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes, but they just keep rolling down his cheeks. We sit for a few minutes, the only sounds being our breathing, as I model for Charlie what a good deep breath looks like, and he slowly stops hyperventilating. "Now you're calm... do you want to tell me about what happened between you and Ben?" I ask. "I don't think I can say it out loud..." Charlie says. "Why don't you write it down then?" I suggest. Charlie nods, picking up his journal, tearing out a page and beginning to write. As he writes, tears flow down his cheeks again. This is obviously a very sensitive topic for him. Once he's finished, he hands it to me and I read what it says.
"Do you remember when I told you about that awful boyfriend I had who convinced me I just ruined everyone's lives? Well, it was Ben. I met him soon after I came out, and I fell for him. He seemed sweet, and he told me how brave I was to come out. We started dating in secret, but he always said stuff like "We're not boyfriends" and "Don't you dare tell anyone about us", and every time we saw each other in public he would act like he didn't even know me. And then I found out he'd been cheating on me with some girl from Higgs, so I broke up with him... then he kissed me. Without my consent. Thank GOD for Nick finding us and pulling Ben off me, or it could've gotten worse. Ben really made me feel terrible about myself, and he blamed me for everything."
A sudden feeling of sadness and sympathy washed over me. I hugged Charlie again. "I'm so sorry he did that to you." I said. "It's ok... it's not like it was your fault." Charlie replied. "But still! I knew Ben was more than just an annoying prick." I said, as my sadness turned to pure, unadulterated rage and hatred. I needed to get my revenge on Ben.
***
I seek Ben out on Thursday morning. I find him at his locker, and I head up to him. "Benjamin Hope." I said firmly. I can hear Ben whisper "this bitch!" under his breath. He recognised me from yesterday. "Yes... I'm Ben. And you?" Ben says, grinning, that sinister glint in his eyes again. "It doesn't matter, but if you must know, my name is Victoria." I said, "I need to speak to you.". "About what? The fact that you think I suck?" Ben says, a light laugh in his tone. "No. You hurt my brother." I said matter-of-factly. "And who is your brother?" Ben asks, obviously trying to take the piss out of me. "Charles Spring." I told him, being as blunt as I possibly could. "Oh please, I didn't hurt Charlie, he hurt himself by dating me." Ben says. I then shove him against the wall. I am infuriated that he would dare talk about my brother like that. "What the actual FUCK is wrong with you?!?!?" Ben yells as his head hits the wall. "You messed with the wrong person, Benjamin." I said, slapping him across the face, "I can and will murder you if you piss me off." . "B... b...but I said sorry to Charlie!" Ben says. He's obviously scared of me now. "I sure hope you never sexually assault anyone, but especially a vulnerable person like Charlie ever again." I said, then I left him, against the wall, shaking with fear.
I have won against Ben Hope.