Work Text:
I've never been good at concentrating, but as I get older, it just keeps getting worse. It's like my brain will deliberately find "better" things to do with my life than do my schoolwork. Nowadays those things mostly consist of thinking about Charlie, but not just that. I just got sat next to Ben Hope in exam prep, and it is hell. Most sessions we just end up having very heated discussions about the way he treated Charlie, and then we get shushed by Mr Farouk. Ben seems to think that a little insincere "sorry" erases the heavy trauma he gave Charlie. Of course, I did nothing but defend my boyfriend. I told him to fuck off and stop talking about Charlie, but he persisted. God, I hate that little prick.
I was too much of a coward to tell Charlie about what had been happening with Ben. He already had enough on his shoulders in terms of his mental health and stuff, he didn't need this added on top of all of that, and the last thing I wanted was to be the reason why Charlie had a nervous breakdown. Soon enough, however, he grew suspicious of why I was so on edge. I chalked it up to exam stress, but he knew it was more than that. "Nick... I can tell something's upsetting you... what's wrong?" Charlie asked me at lunch one day. "Oh, you know, exams are a pain in the ass... especially considering the fact that procrastination is my brain's favourite thing to do." I told him, only just fighting the urge to kiss him (I'm not publicly out yet so I didn't want to accidentally out myself because of kissing him). "But it's not just that, is it?" Charlie asked, pausing for a moment before continuing in a more whisper style tone, "Is this about the whole 'coming out' thing?". "No, actually, for once I'm not freaking out about that. It's..." I started, then I stopped, immediately regretting my decision to try and tell him. "It's what? Did something happen that I don't know about?" Charlie asked anxiously, and I immediately feel the guilt in my chest.
"It's about Ben." I finally said, after a minute of painful silence, punctured by my occasional "um". The very mention of that boy's name made Charlie bite his nails and look down at the floor. I knew he wasn't going to be able to talk about this, the topic of Ben is the number one cause of Charlie going temporarily mute. "Sorry, Char, I shouldn't have said it." I apologised as Charlie continued to silently stare at the floor. He squeaked, which is a stim that I notice he does sometimes when he's struggling to talk about something. Shit, I think, the guilt in my chest expanding until I feel it in my whole body. "W... w... wha... what did... what... what did he do?" Charlie manages a small, squeak-like stutter. "Well, we kinda got sat together for exam prep, and he keeps trying to talk to me about you. He said he was sorry, but I don't forgive him, and neither should you." I explained, slightly more firmly than I'd intended. "I gave up on defending myself a long time ago..." Charlie sighs, with a soft, fake laugh. "Char, he assaulted you! Just because you're a sweet, non-confrontational person doesn't mean he's allowed to act like all he did was have a little bit of a fight with you, and maybe cheated on you once. He's not allowed to walk all over you because you aren't very good with confrontation!" I yelled, and this caused Charlie to place his hands over his ears. "Shit, sorry! I'm just very frustrated about all this, I guess. Ben's such a dick." I add as I notice my boyfriend's reaction to me yelling. Charlie looked like he was going to cry, so I gave him a hug. "D... don't be sorry, Nick. It's not your fault." he says, then he looks up at me. His eyes scan my face and land on my lips, in a way that implies that he wants to kiss me just as much as I want to kiss him. "Char, we can't kiss right now, we're literally in public, we'll get caught. Also, I should never have mentioned Ben." I said, turning away from him slightly. "No, no, it's fine. Now, do you want me to come 'round to your house and help you study tonight?" Charlie replied. "You'll probably just become another distraction for me, though..." I sighed. "Not if I make you do your work before I let you make out with me." Charlie said, a small grin seeping into the corners of his mouth, displaying his adorable dimples. "Good point..." I replied, before drifting off in thought.
***
The doorbell of my house rang. I didn't hear it, as I was using my entire body's worth of energy to attempt to study for my Math exam without getting distracted. I did, however, hear Nellie barking downstairs, which indicated to me that someone was at the door. I closed my laptop and placed my workbook on top of it, before bolting down the stairs and making my way to open the door. I'd assumed it was Charlie, as I'd agreed to let him come around to my place and help me study (I'll admit, I really needed help, Math hurts my brain). I opened the door, and there he was, positively beaming. "Hi!" I exclaimed, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "Hi." Charlie replied, blushing. "Come on, let's go!" I said excitedly, grabbing his hand and running up the stairs with him. "So... what do you want help with?" Charlie asked as we went into my bedroom. "Everything... I don't understand Math..." I whined, flopping onto my bed. "What's going to be in your exam?" Charlie asked. "Everything that's in there." I replied, pointing to my workbook which was still sitting on my bedroom floor, on top of my laptop. "Ok, then we start off by looking at all the things in there." Charlie said. I wasn't sure if I was enjoying this "teacher mode Charlie" or not, I didn't really want to do work, all I wanted to do was make out. "Nick, focus on your work and stop staring at my lips! I told you we can't kiss until you at least finish your trig practise." Charlie said when he caught me staring at him. "But it's hard.... I don't get it...." I sighed. "Want me to explain it to you again?" Charlie asked. "Not really. I really can't be bothered with this right now." I complained. "Fine then, one quick kiss before you go back to your work and let me help you finish your trig practise." Charlie replied, making eye contact with me (which is something he doesn't normally enjoy doing, but he makes eye contact with me when he wants to kiss) and then quickly kissing me on the lips, before making me go back to my work.
I could tell this was going to be a long night of brain-melting Math study, but it felt better knowing that Charlie was there with me.
And especially because in the end we took long breaks to cuddle and make out.