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"I hope you won’t get in trouble with Kristy, if she hears you did run back for me and put yourself at risk." Luke said to Matt on the ride back from the airfield. "Man, you can’t be so reckless. Your family needs you."
Matt looked surprised at Luke "And Lisa wouldn’t tear me apart, when you don’t come back in one piece? No, you are my brother I won’t risk the wrath of your girlfriend." he chuckled.
Luke’s face turned even more to stone that it already was "You know, things are not really going that well right now." He tried to brush of the subject but of course just got Matt curios.
"You two are having trouble?" Matt asked as casually as possible and Luke shook his head but then nodded slightly.
"I don’t know, I think she is not really over what happened to Phil and how I reacted back then. She might not really trust me anymore and you know what that means." Luke admitted with sadness in his voice not just because of the memory losing his best friend.
"Yes, I do, but are you sure it is just that? I mean that sounds like a good sitting down and talking it through might save it but you look like you don’t even want to try that?" Matt paused carefully since he didn’t want to overstep but decided then to carefully push "I mean, do you love her?"
Luke shot his head surprised up in Matt’s direction "What kind of question is that?" he seemed angry but not necessary towards Matt.
Matt huffed out. "Don’t take this the wrong way. I know you like her and you two definitely had something, but it never felt, that deep." After a short moment he continued "I mean, look at me. I can’t wait to go back to my wife and kids. There is no place where I´d rather be right now. Do you really wanna get home or would you rather go on the next case?" Luke looked away again with a hint of being caught in the eyes. "Nothing wrong with loving the job, I just think you should consider what that means. She deserves to know."
Luke sighted "I know, I just ... how to break something like that? And what if it is just a phase? Maybe we just need to work it out." His eyes wandered in the distance as he could find the solution out there. Matt kept quiet, having said all he wanted at the moment.
~~~
"I guess I don’t have to explain why you three will have to take a few days off? The reports can be handed in afterwards." Prentis issued and with that send Tara, Matt and Luke of to there well deserved down time after that case that left them sore and bruised.
Matt was the first to leave to see his family. Tara patted Luke on the shoulder after she grabbed a few books from her office desk which she wanted to take back home and then left without a word. Luke sighted and slowly turned to leave, accepting there was nothing saving him from what to come.
~~~
Arriving back home Luke halted before he put his key in the lock to open the door. Matt’s words echoed in his head and he tried to shake them off entering his apartment with more energy than need.
"Hey? Since when are you back?" Lisa shouted more surprised than shocked from the couch as he slowly walked in to the living room. Jumping up from her seat she walked over to greet him and reach for a welcome back kiss which Luke reluctantly gave to her. "Baby, is everything ok?” Lisa wondered over his beaten expression “Was it a bad one?" with that she gestured him over to the couch.
"Yeah, it got a bit tricky for Matt and me." Was all he had to say, while he petted Roxy and Lou absent-minded. He realized that he was even looking more forward to see them again then his girlfriend. There was no use in denying it anymore. They are over, now he had to break it to her. He hated himself for the grief he would bring her. Never wanting to be the bad guy in the first place.
"Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?" Lisa tried to lure him into looking at her for an answer to her questions.
He shook his head slowly. "No, I am not hungry." He paused to brace himself "We need to talk." He said in a small voice.
He could have thought of a better way to start that discussion he wondered angry at himself, if there was one at all.
"Oh!" Lisa realized were that conversation might go and slowly sit back down on the couch while Luke stayed quiet starring down on Roxy’s fur.
"Do you want me to guess what you have to say?" Lisa said in a sad but also challenging voice.
"No, of course not.” Luke answered hones and took another breath before continuing “Look, you are great and I care a great deal for you..."
"…Just not enough anymore." She finished for him with a defeated voice and heavy sigh at the end.
He lifted his head and looked her deep in the eyes "Yeah, I guess. I am sorry, you have to believe me, I never meant to hurt you."
"I know." Lisa confirmed for him. "I know. That is your problem. You always want to be the good guy, the hero never to disappoint anyone."
A cold silence broke between the former couple. Even Roxy and Lou stilled and looked confused between the two back and forth as if they would know what just happened.
Lisa broke the awkwardness after a few minutes "Also, if I am honest, I always knew your heart was already taken, right from the first date. I guess I just hoped I could take her place. What has she I don’t?" She questioned him without expecting an answer. "But that’s not that point. You can’t change your feelings and I need to learn to let go. It was a losing cause in the first place. I was naive to think I stood a chance."
"Lisa, you are not making any sense? What are you talking about?" Luke looked very confused about her words.
"And its ok, Luke, I just also deserve someone to love me that unconditional as you love her. I hope you two figure it out."
With that Lisa said her goodbye and packet her things. She wasn’t angry at Luke or the other girl. Somehow she knew that was coming a while now, she just wondered if he ever would find the nerve to take the needed steps forward to his person.