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All four of them stood quietly in the airport for a moment. Just looking at each other.
Neil, holding Andrew's hand. Andrew would never admit it but he was glad for the comfort it gave him as he stared at his cousin. He hadn’t thought that this moment would be this hard. He was careful to keep a neutral expression but he couldn’t help the need to squeeze Neil’s hand just a little tighter.
Nicky was the first to make a sound since the car. He didn’t talk, but he let out a single embarrassed laugh and wiped his eye.
Aaron was the first to move since getting inside. As soon as Nicky lowered his hand Aaron hugged him. Nicky looked surprised. Andrew wasn’t. Maybe he hadn’t expected Aaron to hug him, but he had expected something. Nicky hugged Aaron back, slowly, as if trying not to scare him off.
Aarons shoulders shook but he made no sound. Nicky rubbed small circles into his back.
“Hey, it’s okay Aaron. I’m not gone forever.” Nicky spoke quietly. His eyes glazed over and he looked up to avoid shedding any tears.
Andrew could feel Neils eyes on him. He knew what Neil was suggesting. He knew Neil was probably right. But he wasn’t going to do any of that sappy shit. Nicky was right, this wasn’t goodbye forever… Just for a longer period of time then they had grown used to. They would see Nicky again on his wedding day. Andrew did not return Neils stare, choosing instead to watch the interaction between his brother and cousin.
“Fuck you.” Is all Aaron said. He let go of Nicky and looked up at him. “Die on the plane and I’ll kill you.”
“I’m not going to die.” Nicky chuckles as Aaron steps back.
It was time for Nicky to go now. Neil nodded goodbye to Nicky, “See you later Nicky.”
Nicky smiled at that. “See ya, Neil.” He looked at Andrew, unsure of what to say, but wanting to say something.
Andrew just shook his head. He wasn’t going to do this. Nicky wasn’t going to be another caretaker of his that left. No, Nicky wasn’t leaving him, not like the rest of them had. That meant saying goodbye was not necessary.
Nicky gives Andrew a small smile. “I love you..” His voice is quiet and unsure.
Andrew sighs. Looks at Nicky for a while, then gives his two fingered salute and turns away.
“You’ll be back.” He says it as if stating a simple, boring, fact. He hears Nicky make an amused sound, then as expected he hears his brother and the junkie following him out.
This really did hurt a lot more than he thought it would. The idea of being this far away from Nicky for so long when they hadn’t been in years was hard. He shook those feelings away. Nicky would be back.
But as he hears Nicky say one last goodbye, he feels a part of himself die inside.