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Most of Helmeppos life was confined to the marine outpost and Shells Town surrounding it, if he was honest he couldn't remember the last time he had set foot on a ship.
Let alone shared a bed with someone.
Apparently, Coby had caught the Vice Admirals eye, causing him to be assigned a private quarter and for some, to Helmeppo unknown reason, Coby had asked for Helmeppo specifically to be placed with him. Coby had phrased it as if he didn't want the other cadets to think he had some higher rank or that he was somehow better than them, which Helmeppo thought to be ridiculous, of course everyone would see Coby as higher ranked than them, so why, out of everyone on the ship, would Coby choose Axe Hand Morgan's son, quite the definition of a nepo baby, Helmeppo, to be placed with him?
And why did Vice Admiral Garp think it was a grant idea to only give them one bed?
Yes, the quarter they were assigned to was only meant for one person, but it wouldn't have been too much trouble to install a second bed, would it?
If Helmeppo was honest, he was quite horrified when he saw the single bed hanging in the corner of the room.
He would rather sleep on the floor than share a bed with Coby, with a man.
Being even more honest, he was unsure why that was. Yes, it certainly had to do with his upbringing, his rather extravagant lifestyle before coming onto this ship, but Coby was his friend, his partner, sharing a bed wouldn’t be so bad, right? After all, he had given up on the comfort of his past life when he joined Vice Admiral Garp's crew.
It wouldn’t be so bad.
Would it?
Helmeppo hadn’t considered how warm the room would be. Or more so how much he would be overheating after a day of training with Garp. He had stripped down to his underwear, staring at the bed as Coby had already gotten in, making himself comfortable burritoed into his blanket, seemingly not touched by the hell Garp had put them through today. To a certain degree Helmeppo was jealous, he wished he could have the amount of passion Coby had. His father had forced him to become a marine, there was never another option for him, he had chosen none of this for himself, yet Coby had the freedom to choose. He could sleep well at night without the constant terror of knowing he didn’t belong in this world. Without the knowledge that he was disappointing everyone he knew. Everyone who gave a shit about him.
His father hadn’t given a shit about him. Who was he trying to lie to? Himself?
Maybe.
Coby seemed to realize something was wrong as he stared at Helmeppo, his eyes squinted as he had already taken his glasses off.
“Meppo? Everything okay?” He asked and it disgusted Helmeppo how apparently he was so easy to see right through.
“Of course everything is okay. Why shouldn’t it be okay? I’m about to share an uncomfortable bed on an uncomfortable ship with a child, I’m perfectly fine.” The blonde answered, hoping his put on disgusted tone would deter Coby from prying any deeper as he moved onto the bed, laying down on his back, the blanket barely pulled up to his hips.
Fuck was it warm.
“Oh. I-... I just… You know, I thought there would be two beds and I-... I know how much you hate sharing a room with the other cadets, so I just- I thought-” The boy next to him started stammering, nervously kneading the blanket as he stared at the ceiling.
Oh how Helmeppo despised that Coby could make him blush so easily.
“I’m joking, Coby. If I wasn’t okay sharing a bed with you I wouldn’t have accepted the offer.” Helmeppo cleared up, hoping it was enough to calm Coby down. He wasn’t about to have Coby whine the entire night.
It seemed that it was indeed enough to shut Coby up, the room now quite, albeit uncomfortably so. Helmeppo didn’t dare look to the side, he couldn’t stand the sight of Coby right now.
Why? He didn’t know.
Perhaps it was the innocent stare he knew Coby would direct at him, perhaps it was the image of Cobys pink hair softly falling into his face, his features so young without his glasses, so pretty, perhaps it was the fact that every time Coby looked at Helmeppo with those beautiful blue eyes, he could feel his face heat up, the blush creeping onto it, or perhaps it was how today, as he watched Coby during training, so focused and unlike his usual nervous self, Helmeppo felt the knot in his stomach tighten, a heat pouring into his groin he had rarely felt these past years.
He couldn’t convince himself otherwise, he was attracted to Coby, to this weak, bubbly, jumpy little kid who walzed into his life, hit him in the face, was the reason his father was persecuted. He was attracted to Coby, a man, and it terrified him beyond belief.
His dream that night offered him an answer as to why.
When sleep had finally overtaken him, old, long ago memories haunted him.
He was young, barely 15 if he remembered correctly, when his father had caught him fooling around with a boy in his room, both barely clothed, Helmeppo screaming as his father walked in. At first his father only stared, listening to the skittish excuses Helmeppo could come up with, his voice trembling, terrified of his fathers reaction. When his father walked towards them, any words left got stuck in Helmeppo’s throat, fear filling his body, only growing worse as his father grabbed the boy next to him by the hair, violently pulling him out of Helmeppo’s bedroom, the pained screams of the boy filling the hall immediately.
“Father, wait! Please!” Helmeppo managed to choke out, bravery somehow overcoming him as he got up, holding onto his fathers other arm, trying to get him to stop.
Morgan only whipped around, smashing his son into the wall, Helmeppo tasting blood as his head hit the ground.
“Do you want to join him in the yard?” Morgan asked, his voice low, dangerous, causing Helmeppo to stare in horror as his father left his room, pulling the boy with him. “I thought so.”
Helmeppo was called into his fathers office mere minutes later, quickly wiping the tear stains from his face as he navigated the well known hallways, stopping in front of his fathers office, his hands trembling.
“You called for me?” The blond tried his hardest to keep his voice steady, not showing any weakness in his fathers presence. His father didn’t tolerate weakness. Hell, he barely tolerated his own son.
“Don’t think you’re getting off easy boy.” Were his fathers first words as he got up from his desk, stepping straight towards Helmeppo, the aura of danger growing with every step. “I might not hang you up in the yard with him, but you’re not leaving this office without punishment.”
“Father, I-” Helmeppo tried to defend himself, tried to stand up to his father, but all he got in response was the loud roar of Morgan's voice.
“Don’t you dare!” He screamed, finally causing Helmeppo to flinch, pressing his eyes shut in fear. “I will not have my own son running around screwing every tramp he sees! Let alone a boy! I did not raise you to be some kind of fag! If I ever catch you even looking at another boy like that again, I will kill you. Understood?” Helmeppo nodded, knowing every word out of his fathers mouth was serious. “Good. Now take off your shirt.”
His eyes shot open at that again, knowing exactly what would happen now.
“Father, please!” He begged, trembling even worse now, pure horror filling his body. “Please, I didn’t do anything! He was the one who persuaded me!” He was lying, he knew he was lying, but by god he would do anything to not have to face his fathers punishment. “Please, don’t! It won’t ever happen again, I promise! I-” Suddenly Morgan grabbed his son by the collar of his shirt, throwing him to the side with ease, Helmeppo hitting his head on the wall quite uncomfortably.
“Fine. Then I’ll have everyone see just how pathetic you are.” His father stepped towards him, pulling his fist back and all Helmeppo could do was whimper “Please, don’t!” ‘s as he tried to protect his face with his arms and-
He shot up, his heart racing, his eyes watering, barely recognizing his surroundings.
He was on a marine ship. On Vice Admiral Garps ship. Far away from Shells Town. His father was-
Dead. His father was dead. It was all just a nightmare. A very real one at that, but after all just a nightmare.
His heart slowed down, his breathing calming and even his sweaty hands shook just a little less.
Yes, just a nightmare.
“Meppo? What happened? Are you okay?” Cobys worried voice suddenly sounded from the side, Helmeppo flinching as he stared at the now awake Coby, who was rubbing his eyes. How long had he been awake? Had he realized Helmeppo was having a nightmare? “You were talking in your sleep.” The pink haired boy added.
Oh no.
Please don’t-
“You were begging your father to not do something. What happened?” Coby sat up fully now, fumbling for his glasses as he still eyed Helmeppo.
“Go back to sleep Coby.” Helmeppo muttered, turning his head away from Coby. He could barely stand the others worried glare, the tears forming in his eyes now making their way down his cheeks. “It was just a nightmare.”
“Are you sure? You sou-” He broke off his sentence, a shocked silence now filling the room. “Helmeppo” He finally blurted out after what felt like an eternity “Your back!”
Right.
His back.
He had almost forgotten about it. Almost.
“I said go back to sleep!” The blond hissed, the shakes in his hands only growing worse with every passing moment.
“Did-.. did your father do this?” The terror in the younger one's voice was apparent and it disgusted Helmeppo.
Yes, the scars on his back were his fathers fault. The ‘punishments’ Morgan had in store for his son ranged from screaming at him, to beatings with a belt or a whip, sometimes his own fists and on really bad occasions even slashes from his axe hand. His body carried every last one of those scars, every last one of those horrible memories and the last person he had wanted them to see was Coby.
Perhaps that was part of the reason as to why he was terrified of sharing a room, more so a bed, with the pink haired boy.
“I don’t want to talk about it! I said: Go back to sleep!” Helmeppos' voice was angry, although he couldn’t quite mask the shiver in it, the slight hiccups as tears streamed down his face, sobs wanting to escape his throat even as he tried his absolute hardest not to let them.
“Meppo, I-... I didn’t know” Coby reached out a shaky hand, softly brushing his fingers over Helmeppo’s back, Helmeppo immediately flinching away from the touch, a scared whimper sounding through the room as he stared back at Coby, his eyes already red from the tears he so desperately tried to hold in. “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you” Cobys eyes were kind, understanding, slowly, carefully wrapping his arms around the taller man, pulling him into a soft hug.
This was it. This was all Helmeppo had needed to finally break down crying, ugly sobs cracking through the gentle shushing of Coby holding his friend throughout it all. He was clinging to Coby like a drowning man to a piece of driftwood, pulling on the younger one's shirt, terror filling his mind.
The first time. This was the first time anyone had shown such kindness to Helmeppo. Had held him through his fathers abuse, even if it was just the memories of it, had seen the pain Helmeppo was in and Coby was doing it with such patience, keeping Helmeppo in his arms until the other one calmed enough to breathe again, staring at Coby with tearfilled eyes.
Soft thumbs brushed below his eyes, caressing his face and smiling.
“He can’t hurt you anymore. No one can. I’ll make sure of that.” He whispered, the words barely registering in Helmeppos' head. All he could do was stare at Coby, his face no doubt a bright red, his heart racing again as he made a choice.
Yes, Morgan couldn’t hurt him anymore. Helmeppo was his own man, he could make his own decisions. Being a marine wasn’t one of them, but this was.
So he leaned forward, connecting their lips in a chaste, scared kiss. Coby seemed surprised for a moment, even taken aback, before he closed his eyes, returning Helmeppos unsure kiss.
Maybe sharing a bed wasn’t so bad after all.