Work Text:
„I’ll be home before Midnight. Promise.”
11:12 pm. Chay stopped himself from glancing at the clock approximately two seconds later. Even he himself could recognize the uselessness of the action. Chay scrolled to the next twitter post, trying to focus on the words so time went by quicker.
I’m really excited about WIK’s upcoming tour!!!! Can’t wait to finally hear his songs live.
Chay frowned. Well, that did nothing to escape from his prior thoughts. They circled right back to the topic he had tried to evade. Kim had promised him to be back from his meeting with his managers as quickly as possible. It wasn’t enough to settle Chay’s uneasiness.
He sighed, scrolling to the next post to stuff the uneasiness and underlying panic back in the deepest and darkest parts of his mind. The place he always promised to revisit later when he had the time and mental capacity to take care of his demons. Chay was self-aware enough to acknowledge that he was lying to himself about that. Whatever. Self-awareness was the first step, and he would like to think that he was allowed to slack of a little bit after the last months he had. He was still young after all. His eyes focused on the letters on his phone again.
Really wondering who WIK-
Chay groaned. Really, the internet was not proving itself to be a good distraction today. Maybe he should’ve unfollowed all the fan accounts of his boyfriend or made a new account altogether. Chay crooked his head, then he would have to do without the edits and thirst traps of his boyfriend. Chay would and could not stand for that. He saw himself as biggest supporter and fanboy after all, he won’t forget his roots.
His eyes were automatically drawn to the clock. Again. 11:15 pm. The figures seemed to taunt him, as if the time went by even slower since he had started worrying. Frustrated Chay closed twitter, only barely holding it together and not acting on his impulse to throw his phone against the wall. Only because the phone was new (read: three years old), and he would rather not explain Porsche why he was in need of a new one already.
Chay listlessly grabbed the TV remote, maybe a series could distract him from his steadily fastening heartbeat and endlessly running thoughts.
When Porchay glanced at the clock the next time, it did nothing to ease his worries. Kim should’ve been home at least five minutes ago. Rationally, Chay knew that five minutes was nothing. He could just be hold up in the traffic, Bangkok was always busy after all. Emotionally, Chay was a mess. Kim was simply never late. What if something had happened?
What if he had been in a car accident? What if Kim was laying there bleeding, waiting for help? Or kidnapped in some basement? It was not as if his boyfriend couldn’t defend himself, but a man could only take so many more down. Or maybe something had happened at the compound and Kim had to help because Porsche und Kinn were in danger. It wouldn’t be the first time that no one had thought of informing Chay.
Chay shuddered, trying to compose himself and think rationally. It was his only way to deal with the situation really, he was so close to only being a crying mess. Unclenching his fist that had been in his hair, he picked up his phone again. His scalp stinged uncomfortably.
No unread messages, no missed call. Kim would’ve surely written a message if he needed longer right? Chay bit his lip worryingly. On the other hand, he also didn’t want to be that boyfriend. Annoying and clingy, he took enough of Kim’s time as it was. He also officially unofficially lived in Kim’s apartment kind of. After like two weeks. Who did that?
Chay glanced at the clock again. It’s been seven minutes. Nervously he pulled up Kim’s chat and his fingers hovered over the screen for a few seconds. Then he decided he couldn’t care less about seeming like an overly controlling boyfriend (because honestly, Kim had no room to speak on that) and started typing.
Kim, when will you be back?
I know you said midnight, but did something change?
Totally fine if it did haha just kinda worried right now
Porchay stared at the written messages and sighed. Great, he totally did a god job on sounding not too panicked over the text messages. To be fair, it was getting more difficult to ignore his trembling breath and racing thoughts. If Kim would not show up or at least answer soon, Chay was pretty sure that that panic attack was just waiting around the corner.
Let’s just give him like five more minutes. And then he could call. Repeatedly, until he got an answer. And when Kim would not answer he would call every single person in the compound to demand answers. That seemed like a good plan.
Chay mindlessly tugged at a strand of hair, the stinging in his scalp quietening his thoughts momentarily. A minute went by, the confirmation underneath his texts not changing from sent to read. Two minutes, then three. Just when he decided he had enough and his finger hovered over the call button, the beeping signaled of someone using a keycard to enter the apartment made him jump.
Chay felt himself blushing because of course he had managed to actually press the call button and since the owner of the phone was currently entering the apartment, he could clearly hear Kim’s ringtone. Kim chuckled and Chay’s blush deepened as he quickly fumbled to end the call and to stop to further embarrassing himself.
A few moments later, Kim entered the living room, his smile fading slowly when he took in Chay’s state. Chay supposed he still looked worried and panicked. Somehow, he was as hard to read as an open book. A children’s book. With lots of pictures and very big letters. So, it wasn’t hard at all.
“Angel? What happened?”
Chay shook his head, not really wanting to lay down his embarrassing train of thoughts. After all, he had just overreacted, and Kim was standing in front of him obviously completely unscathed. Kim made his way over to him. Gently he nudged at Chay’s legs to scoot over so he could place himself next to his younger boyfriend.
“You don’t want to talk about it?” When Chay nodded, Kim wordlessly took him into his arm. Chay let his head sink against Kim’s neck, taking a few shuddering breaths to compose himself and stop himself from crying now that all his emotions came crashing down from him. Absently he noticed Kim’s hands stroking his back softly.
Chay smiled. He loved the way Kim showed his affection. Somehow the older one was no one to really talk but still knew exactly what Chay needed at all times. Chay loved that Kim could be so sensible and vulnerable with him. He simply loved Kim of course but he felt like every day, every second he somehow fell even deeper in love with him.
That was how that evening turned out, a lazy night on the couch, a few meaningful kisses and some late-night whispers being shared and them falling into their bed in the early morning hours. After all, Chay himself never said that he was a Master of Communication and talking about issues.
When Porsche had told Chay that he and his boyfriend were to go on a business trip/ vacation to Japan, Chay had not really grasped the repercussions and had smiled. He had honestly been happy for his brother to finally get the trip he deserved. Speaking of consequences, it was not quite that dramatic, but Chay had indeed not considered what that would entail for him.
Mostly him sitting worried at the kitchen table and starring at his phone seeing all the unread messages to Porsche piled up. He took a shuddering inhale and plastered a smile back on his lips. No use on dwelling on the situation now, he had more important things to deal with.
For example, the essays which were cluttered on the kitchen table and had been ignored until now. He had promised Kim to catch up on his schoolwork today so that they could spend the weekend together. They both had had a lot of work to do the last few weeks, leaving them with almost now time to spare and do romantic couple things or whatever people would like to call it.
As if Kim could read his mind, his boyfriend emerged from the bathroom where he had at least spent the last hour to get ready for his day. Before, Chay had been sure WIK had just been born perfectly and would surely just roll out of bed looking like that effortlessly. Now Chay knew how adorable Kim looked with bed hair and how long he spent fussing over his hair in the bathroom, it made him smile even more because he knew he was the only one experiencing that side of Kim.
His eyes trailed along his boyfriend’s body appreciatively. Kim challengely quirked his eyebrows as if daring Chay to just drag him back into bed. Chay considered the thought for a moment, at least it would’ve put off the annoying papers a moment longer.
“Don’t you dare, Chay. I’ve already done my hair.” Kim apparently made the decision for both. While speaking he pulled out the chair next to Chay and sat down. “Besides, I don’t see much progress. I thought you wanted to finish these tonight?”
Chay pouted automatically even though he had said that before. That had been before Kim had looked perfectly edible and who would choose homework over their boyfriend? That was purely rhetorical because no one would.
His phone buzzed, disrupting him from his thoughts of how to convince Kim to change his mind. To be fair it wouldn’t be that difficult because between Chay’s puppy eyes and Kim’s weak spot also known as neck, the man had no chance. Chay quickly took his phone to look at the new message because maybe Porsche had finally seen- and his excitement whiddeld down instantly, leaving him reeling with the sudden change of emotions. Ohm had messaged him. Not that he was not happy about that, but Ohm was simply speaking not Porsche. And much easier to get ahold of as his brother. His inner turmoil had to show itself on his face since Kim questioningly crooked his head and layed a hand on his arm.
“Everything okay?” Chay sighed and shrugged. It should probably not affect him that much anyway; he was old enough and not dependant on his brother after all.
“Yeah, I don’t know...” Chay trailed off, a bit unsure how to continue. He was quite sure that Kim did not have that kind of relationship with his brothers. It would probably be the other way around if Chay thought about it. A pouting Thankun flew into his mind. “Porsche is not really answering right now. I just…”
“Worry?” Kim’s eyes glistened with understanding. Right, he had kind of overlooked the fact that Kim was overly protective. Not only of Chay but of course of his own brothers as well. Even though he would never admit to that. (Not that he had to, it showed.)
Chay nodded while letting out a breath he apparently was holding the whole time. “I just feel a bit uneasy. I suppose it is like when he had left to work for your brother, and I didn’t really know what was going on. Only that it probably wasn’t good because we just don’t have that luck.”
He didn’t particualary like to think back to those times. Chay was not as stupid or naïve like people would like to think. Of course, he had known that Porsche had not simply gotten his dream job and would be able to pay off all the debt as well as Chay’s education. That thing only happened in those K-Dramas that Thankun watched. Well, not even there. The reality was much closer to a drama.
Kim hummed in sympathy while putting a gentle, grounding pressure on his arm. Usually, Kim did that when Chay was working himself up about something and Chay had found it to be oddly calming. “I mean it’s probably nothing. It is probably just not an easy situation over there.”
Chay almost pulled his arm away to inquire what the hell Kim meant with not an easy situation. Even though Chay was very aware that it was mostly a business trip, Porsche had assured him that it was not a big deal. Well, in hindsight that probably meant absolutely nothing since the understanding of dangerous and concerning between him and his brother had been proven to be completely different.
Tears shone in his eyes, and he was suddenly very aware of the fact that his breathing sped up, feeling like it was so much harder to take an inhale after another, his throat clogging up with something. Kim’s eyes widened, beginning to shake his head almost franticly.
“No, Chay. I’m sorry, angel. I didn’t mean it like that. I’m sorry.” Kim cradled both of his hands in his, rubbing his knuckles softly. “They are fine, Porsche is probably just busy mending the relationships and all.”
Sobs tear his way from his throat, the number of tears and snot making it so much harder to breathe. Kim made a sound that Chay couldn’t quite place, somewhat resembling a cat that had gotten stepped on its tail. Suddenly there were arms embracing him and he couldn’t help but lean into the warmth. He felt Kim softly forming words against his hair, even though he could not understand them, they felt oddly comforting and reassuring. With every minute he just stayed in Kim’s arm, it got easier to breathe again.
Chay couldn’t tell how much time has passed for him to calm down again. Even when he stopped sobbing, Kim just kept him in his arms and gently caressed his back. The younger boy appreciated Kim giving him room and time to process what just had happened.
“Is there something I can do for you, angel?”
Chay gently nudged Kim a few centimeters back so he could lock up at his boyfriend. The look in his eyes promised him that Kim would literally burn down the entire city if Chay asked. Or maybe start with dragging Porsche back to Bangkok. Sometimes Chay regretted that he had to be rational about stuff like that. Not like Kim would be his voice of reason. He sighed.
“Maybe you could call your brother later? And ask? I don’t want to bother Porsche further”, Chay trailed off, nervously glancing at his phone when he remembered the amount of unread messages. Huh, he apparently got clingy.
Kim’s feverently nodding got him to look back at his boyfriend. And really that was a surprise because Kim had promised to call Kinn. Chay frowned, maybe there was some misunderstanding.
“I’m talking about Kinn…”
Kim looked at him almost offended. What? Chay raised his eyebrows questioningly, a weak smile playing with his lips. “I just wanted to make sure. It is a bit out of character for you.”
“I’d do everything for you though.” Kim gently caressed his cheek, making Chay blush at the softness that had entered the singer’s eyes. To avoid being further embarrassed, Chay pulled Kim closer again, burying his face into Kim’s chest. Kim’s suppressed laughter at that brought a gentle smile to his lips.
In the end Chay had in fact not finished his papers. Instead, he had managed to go back straight to crying after looking at them and Kim had promised him with panic in his eyes that he would help him with them tomorrow. Chay was bit embarrassed about it but even he had acknowledged that he’d rather distract himself.
It was not difficult to convince Kim to go to the arcade with him with his still red rimmed eyes. Even if Kim rolled his eyes and told him to give him a minute to grab a cap and his face masks. Because Kim was not really keen to go to a place packed with teenagers. He was a public figure after all.
Chay appreciated the gesture even more. At least he told himself he did even after Kim had somehow won at that basketball game for the third time in a row and just grinned at Chay. Frustration stirred in his stomach and caused him to cross his arms and glance at Kim suspiciously.
“What the hell, Kim. Tell me you’re not cheating.” Kim did not even try to hide his amusement about Chay’s obvious distress. It only caused him to grin wider.
“I promise, I’m not.” Kim held his hands placatively to the side. Then he leaned closer to Chay and whispered into his ear. “Just can’t help it if you’re so bad at this.”
Chay’s eyes narrowed. The audacity- oh, they were so on. Chay felt elevated of the way Kim’s eyes widened in surprise when he roughly pulled Kim by his collar and pulled him the few steps closer to him. He could not keep his grin of his face at the way stumbled, trying desperately to not loose his balance and fall against Chay’s chest.
“Kimmy, play nice. I didn’t mock you earlier.” Chay wrapped his finger around one of the strands that Kim had so carefully styled before. Then he tugged at it, smirking when Kim instantly gulped, clearly understanding the implication of something more. “Don’t be a brat”, Chay mockingly copied Kim’s whispering tone from earlier, before gently pushing Kim a few steps back, enjoying the way Kim’s pupils were blown wide and a slight blush was raising on his cheeks. Oh well, don’t play with fire.
“Let sleeping dogs lie…”, muttered Chay before he put his hands in the pocket of his jeans and sauntered to the next stand of the arcade, not even looking if Kim would follow him. Of course he would. Simp. That voice sounded suspiciously like Macau.
Later, they lay in bed cuddling after Chay made true to his promise to Kim. Chay sluggishly run his hand trough Kim’s soft hair since their after-sex-shower washed all the products away. He blinked tiredly, laying his head on Kim’s chest. Kim absently carded trough Chay’s hair instead, causing the younger one’s eyes to fall close. It had been a long day after all.
A comfortable silence fell over them, no one feeling the need to say anything and were just glad to soak in the other’s presence. Chay felt himself slowly drifting away, his breath calmed down. Absently he felt Kim reaching for his phone on the nightstand. A few minutes, Chay just heard the soft tapping of Kim in the background, then Kim seemed to call someone.
Chay tiredly blinked his eyes open and looked questioningly at his boyfriend. It was after midnight after all. Kim’s eyes had a mischievous twinkle in them when he layed on of his finger’s on Chay’s lips as if to shush him.
“Kim?” The other person had finally answered the phone and Kinn’s groggy voice rang trough their bad room.
“Kinn.” Chay rolled his eyes and snuggled deeper into Kim’s chest. Then there were a few akkward seconds of silence.
“Kim? What is it? It is two in the morning.” Kinn did sound annoyed at that fact, fair enough. Chay could understand that being woken up in the middle of the night was not pleasant.
“I need to talk to your boyfriend.” Kinn scoffed at that.
“Kim, I will not wake up Porsche in the middle of the night. You can call to a more pleasant time tomorrow.” There was a finality in Kinn’s voice now, Chay would’ve probably relented by now. He would’ve also not called in the first place but Kim was just a maniac like that. To his defense, Chay had asked him to.
“No.”
“What do you mean no?” Kinn sounded highly irritated now and Chay was pretty sure that the line was only not dead because Kim had called. And that was a rare occurrence in itself. “Whatever, Kim, I’m sure whatever it is, it can wait until morning and then I will call you first thing, okay?”
Chay glanced at his boyfriend, taking in the amused glint in his eyes and the grin on his face. Oh, he really enjoyed terrorizing his brother in the night.
There was some shuffling on the other end of the line, Chay could vaguely hear Porsche mumbling something.
“No, everything’s fine, Porsche. Kim is just being a little shit right now. Go back to sleep, love.” There was a pause. “Look, Kim. If everyone is fine, I will hang up now.”
“No, I need to talk to Porsche. He is awake now, so give him the phone.” Chay could vividly imagine Kinn’s frown that he probably sporting right now. “It’s about Chay.” At his name, Kim’s voice became soft and fond.
“Kinn, give me the phone.” Porsche sounded awake immediately and some shuffling indicated that he had just gripped Kinn’s phone out of his hand. “Is Chay okay? Did something happen?” Chay let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. It calmed him to know that Porsche seemed okay.
“I don’t know. Have you checked you phone?” Chay raised his eyebrows at Kim’s boldness. Kim was very keen on not angering Porsche since they had started dating. Probably because he was still scared that Porsche would not approve of their relationship after everything that happened. (He didn’t but preferred Chay to make his own choices.)
“I haven’t. What is it? Is he okay?” Porsche sounded almost frantic now, there were some dull noises from him. “Oh shit…”
“Yeah, that describes it well, I suppose”, Kim drawled. Porsche had probably checked all his unread messages. Porchay felt his cheeks heat up. Clingy, his brain supplied unhelpfully.
“Is Chay with you? Can I talk with him?” At that Kim looked down to Chay. He shook his head barely noticeably. Call him selfish but he was goddamn tired and now he knew Porsche was fine. He did not really have to energy to deal with the rest of it right now. Tomorrow, he mouthed back at Kim. Kim smiled at him fondly and nodded.
“He’s asleep. I won’t wake him. Call him tomorrow.” Chay almost snorted at the similarity of the two brothers. He heard an indignant cry from Kinn. Kim had no qualms to end the call though. He didn’t even say a goodbye and Chay grinned fondly. He lifted his head after Kim put the phone again and kissed his cheek.
“Thank you, darling.”
When Chay checked his phone first thing in the morning, he saw a message from Chay.
Chay, I’m so sorry I didn’t check my phone. It was so busy, but whatever I should’ve checked up on you. I’m sorry. Call me whenever you’re ready. Kinn and I have a meeting at 12 am for like an hour. That should be 10 am in Thailand, I think. So maybe not then, Kinn will have my head if I mess that meeting up. Whatever, I will storm out of there if you call. I promise. You’re my priority number one. Love you <3
P.S. I’m still so sorry, I keep messing up.
Chay glanced at the clock, Porsche should not be in the meeting yet. He glanced back to Kim’s still sleeping form and untangled him carefully from his boyfriend. When he got the balcony, Chay dialed his brother’s number. The line rang for approximately two seconds before his brother picked up.
“Hey Chay”, Porsche sounded out of breath. “I’m so sorry.” Chay sighed.
“Hia, stop. It’s fine.” Chay didn’t exactly want Porsche to blame himself. It’s not like it was a big deal that he had not answered his messages for a day. Chay was worse than that sometimes. It just was a deal for Chay right now. And he didn’t really know why.
“No, it’s not. I promised not to go radio silence anymore. Just because of some mafia shit. I don’t want that.” Chay hummed, not really knowing how to answer that. “I really am sorry, Chay. I can’t promise that it will never happen again because obviously it kind of did.” Porsche chuckled nervously, Chay could almost see him awkwardly combing through his hair. “But I will try to be better?”
“Hia, it’s fine. I guess I’m just a bit clingy.” Chay chuckled self-deprecatingly. It had not been his intention for Porsche to feel so bad about it.
“Chay, I don’t think you’re clingy”, Porsche’s voice got softer. Not quite reaching the pity tone but almost and that didn’t make it better for Chay. Actually, it made him quite uncomfortable.
“I think I need therapy”, Chay did not really know what caused him to just blurt that out. It’s not like he had never considered it. But he definitely decided to just ignore that train of thought until he couldn’t anymore. Maybe he just wanted to irritate Porsche so he would stop talking. For the record, Porsche paused for a few seconds, obviously as taken as back as Chay himself was.
“Sure, whatever you need. I will find a way.” Porsche sounded even more worried know. To be fair, Chay was behaving out of character. “Do you want to tell me what this is about?” It was also out of character for Porsche to sound this unsure. Chay remembered the strain that the last months had put on their relationship. Even more reason for therapy he supposed.
“I just…” Chay didn’t really know what he should say. He had not really considered it after all. “I always get anxious and panicky when you or Kim aren’t answering your phone. Or generally aren’t with me.” Chay laughed awkwardly, feeling weirdly exposed.
“I… I’m sorry I didn’t notice. I’ll make some calls. I promise I’ll somehow find a way for you.”
“Thank you Hia”, whispered Chay. The stayed silent for a few seconds, each processing the newfound information. Chay shook his head. “Soo, how is your stay in Japan?”
Suddenly they were back in familiar territory, chatting about their days until Porsche had to leave for the meeting.
When Chay came back, Kim fumbled with his guitar and wrote something in his notebook. Chay sat on the back behind him and pressed his face in his neck, pressing soft kisses against his skin. Kim shuddered and Chay grinned at the goosebumps that decorated Kim’s skin. So sensitive.
“Talked with you brother?” Kim forced himself to continue what he was doing and sound put together. His trembling hands gave him away. Chay hummed affirmative, running his hands teasingly over Kim’s sides, causing Kim to shudder again.
“Chay, we have to finish your paper.” Chay groaned annoyed at Kim’s reminder. Well, he was not wrong. Some things sadly weren’t solvable that easily. On the other hand, it could wait another hour. Chay grinned and carefully pushed Kim’s guitar out of his hands. Then he pulled his boyfriend back into bed. Kim still hadn’t done his hair, perfect!