Work Text:
Dave Rygalski regretted becoming Facebook friends with Lane Kim. Why? Because he was bombarded with pictures of her and Zack, their kids and their married, perfect life. Why did Lane have to end up with Dave’s friend? Why did Zack steal Dave’s love from him? Dave planned on coming back to Stars Hollow after college, planning on sweeping Lane up off her feet and showing her what love really looked like. He was ready to commit. But then Brian told him on the phone about getting to stay in Lane’s room while Lane and Zack had their first date. And then they got engaged. And then months later Lane was pregnant. Dave had written hundreds of letters, all unsent, trying to get Lane back.
“Dude, you completely missed the end of the song!” Dave’s band mate, AJ, said. Dave was the lead guitarist, and AJ played drums. He was nothing compared to Lane, but Dave wasn’t gonna date him.
“Sorry, sorry. Just thinking about things.” He said.
“Alright, well let’s try from the beginning. Samson?” He said. Samson was their singer, and called out during their shows.
“WE ARE THE BONE SHACK AND WE LIKE TO ROCK OUT! 1234 LET’S GO!”
****
“Dave, you’ve been off for a while now, can I ask why?” Billy, their Keyboard player said after practice, while everyone was cleaning up. Dave took a swig of his Sprite Zero.
“AJ!” A high pitched girl’s voice yelled out. AJ grinned.
“Sadie, hey!” Sadie was AJ’s current girlfriend, or as the rest of the band called them, girl toy.
“Hey Samson.” Said Sadie’s friend, Ella. She and Samson were casually sleeping together, but she obviously wanted more.
“Hey Ella,” He said, not paying much attention.
“Is Cora coming later?” Sadie asked Billy. Cora was Billy’s girlfriend, and Sadie’s younger sister.
“Yeah, she’ll be here in a few.”
“Tell her to bring Sloane. Dave needs someone to hang with.” Sadie whispered.
“Sadie, I don’t need a girl to be with, I’m not going out.” Sadie and Dave had been friends for a while, they first met when Dave moved out to California and became friends. She introduced him to AJ, and they were looking for a lead guitarist, one thing led to another, and now Dave was out of one year out of college and making it big with Bone Shack. He didn’t really get the same thrill from this band then he did with his old band in Stars Hollow. Mostly because he didn’t have Lane to look at every time his nerves got bad. AJ wasn’t as good a view.
“C’mon Dave, you have to come! Sloane is sooo into you, you don’t even know.” Sadie pleaded.
“I want to work on the song I’m writing more.” Dave said, which was an all together lie. He hadn’t started a song in forever. He was going to spend his evening watching trash TV and writing and deleting Facebook messages to Lane, declaring his love, that he knew he would never send. How could he? Lane had a life, she was a wife and a mother, and what was Dave? He hadn’t had a relationship since he left Stars Hollow and had no plan to.
“Stop pressuring him, babe. Dave, you can have a depressing evening on your own, but you better be at practice tomorrow.” AJ said. Dave agreed, and left. He hopped on the bus and drove to his tiny Sacramento apartment. He turned on his TV, heated up a soggy burrito from the other night, and opened his computer.
Lane Van Gerbig, he read. Family. Husband - Zack Van Gerbig. It pained him to see those words. They had one two mutual friends, Brian and her friend Rory’s ex boyfriend, Jess Mariano, who had met once or twice and found extremely cool. He didn’t have the heart to friend Zack or Rory, knowing that Zack would bring him too much pain and anger, and Rory was team Zack all the way, and didn’t want any reminder of that.
Brian was Dave’s friend first, they were in the marching band together, and Zack became their leader after the two of them put a flier up asking for a singer. He thought that Brain would have been more Loyal to Dave, but he put up a wedding announcement on his Facebook page shortly after Dave found it.
Dave’s burrito heated up. He pulled it out of the microwave and looked over to his lonely acoustic guitar. He hadn’t played in a while, considering Bone Shack was more of a rock band and they thought acoustic was ‘lame’. But Dave picked up his old friend, tuned it, and sat down to think. He needed to find a way to channel all of his feelings about Lane from the past few months into something else. He started strumming. D, A, G, Em. He repeated the pattern, and it felt good. He grabbed a pad of paper and a pen.
You
You don’t see me coming from a mile away
Your eyes go to him
I just want to know
Do you ever think about me?
I was here first
I claimed the land before he grazed it
My eyes over your
Your smile will take me down
But I want to let you know
I’m still here
I’m waiting alone
Back where you left me
I’m still here
I wish you were mine
But you went to the dark side
I’m still here
Always here.
He liked the lyrics. He wrote another verse, and tested it. The words flowed out of him, more like the guitar was doing something his heart couldn’t dare to try.
****
The next day, Dave went to rehearsal and showed the guys the song.
“I dunno man,” AJ said, “It’s kind of mellow”
“ Yeah, it’s nice and all, but we're a rock band, not some depressing Indie group.” Billy admitted.
“I know it seems kind of lame, but I need to get it out there. I need to…let go of whatever this is in my head. It’s important.” Dave said. They were silent.
“Samson?” Dave asked. Samson sighed. “I like it buddy, I really do.” Dave got ready for his decline.
“But if we're gonna do this, you need to sing it.” Dave paused. Samson could play guitar, but he was the singer.
“You sure?” Dave asked. Samson nodded. Dave grinned.
“I bet we could turn this into more of a, I dunno, depressing Indie rock song?” AJ said. Dave laughed.
“So Dave, one question.” Billy asked.
“Yeah?”
“Who’s the girl?” Dave was silent.
“It doesn't matter.” He replied. “She’s too far now.” Everyone was quiet.
“What are you waiting for, let’s rock out!” Samson shouted. And so they did.
The song was better than they expected. It worked for their vibe. No other songs of theirs had been successful so far, but they all could tell that this song was somehow different. It was a different level of good. It flowed through all of them. They named it ‘I’m still here’. They performed it at a bunch of small shows, until a record label came to them, asking if they could produce it. The band was out of their minds excited.
Their hit single, I’m Still Here, climbed the charts and was soon on the radio. Dave finally felt a sense of closure with Lane, now that all of his feelings had been let into the world he didn’t feel so broken. He wasn’t perfect but it was a start.
****
“Babe, turn the radio on,” Lane said to Zack. Lorelai was taking care of the babies, and Lane and Zack had the house to themselves.
“Sure.” Zack turned the radio on to a song that was ending. As he turned it up, a voice came over the radio. It was the sound of a man describing something to them.
“The brand new hit single from the breakout star band, Bone Shack, had climbed the charts since it aired two weeks ago. This is I’m Still Here.
The song carried through the house like a current. Lane and Zack went silent. Neither could fathom how good it was. The voice sounded familiar but distant. Like it was a memory passing by.
“Zack, I recognize this voice. Who is it?” Lane asked. Zack looked up from his magazine.
“I dunno.” Zack said. Lane sighed.
“Can you find out?” Lane snapped. Zack rolled his eyes. He agreed, and opened up his laptop. He typed in the song and the band and looked shocked.
“Lane, it’s Dave.” Zack said, turning his computer over to Lane to see a picture of Dave and a few other guys.
Dave. Dave Rygalski. Lane’s first love.
The more she listened to the lyrics the more she knew that the song was about her. She could feel it in her bones.
She opened up her computer after the kids came home and Zack was putting them to bed, and opened up the page she had opened up thousands of times. Dave’s Facebook page. She opened up the message page and typed out one word. She thought about his lyric, Do you ever think about me?
Yes.