Work Text:
It’s interesting really, being a magicless student with a magic cat. Although, if there was one thing that never failed to..
“Prefeeect! Housewarden put me in a collar again!”
Give me a headache…
“God fucking damn it. What did you do this time?!”
“Nothin!” Ace pouted, “Housewarden’s just assuming that I did something bad to help Deuce do better and he's assuming it’s drugs when it’s not!”
I blink at Ace.
“Bullshit.” I think.
I cross my arms, “Tell me now, and I will let you sleep in the living room.”
Ace also crossed his arms, “Hmph! All I did was give him a blow job beforehand! What’s the big deal.”
I look at him with a confused look, “You..gave Deuce a blow job and Riddle thought you have him drugs after you said something to yourself..?” I say as I try to connect the puzzle pieces.
“Exactly!” He exclaimed.
“Well, I don’t think there’ any issues regarding giving your own boyfriend a blow job, and I’m certain it says nothing of the such in the Queen of Heart’s rules and the law so..” I trail off at the end giving Ace a look of “What the fuck am I supposed to say in this scenario??”
“There isn’t and the fact he got so sketched up an- wait what?! Boyfriend!? Me and Deuce aren’t dating!” Ace shouted.
“Fucking hell… Yes, you two are dating; have you not realized it?”
“We’re not dating.”
I inhale, “Ace, I mean this in the kindest way possible, BUT WITH AS MANY BLOW JOBS AND HOOK-UPS YOU TWO HAVE HAD, THAT’S NOT A BROMANCE ANYMORE! YOU’RE DATING AT THAT POINT!” I screamed as I brought my hands in front of me.”
“We wear socks! So it’s no homo!”
“That’s bullshit!”
“No it’s not!”
“Yes it is!”
“Heyyy~ Acey, Yuu, what’s goin’ on? Why you two yelling” A chill voice asked us.
I grin as I straighten my back and look at Cater, “Cater, you can agree with how many times Ace and Deuce have hooked-up and given each other oral, it’s not just a ‘bromance’, nor is it ‘no homo cuz we were wearing socks’, right??”
“We’re not dating and we’re not gay!”
Cater looked at the two of us squabbling as he held his phone to his lips to hide his laughing face.
“We’re not?”
Speak. Of. The. Devil.
“Deuce! You can agree that we’re not dating, right??”
“Wait..we aren’t? I thought we were.”
. . .
I was the first to start laughing
“I knew it. I FUCKIN knew it! I knew it since the first week you two would end up dating! I knew it!” I grinned wickedly.
“Wait what?!”
“You..didn’t know we were dating?” Deuce asked Ace while tilting his head to the side.
“No! I thought we were just friends with benefits!”
“Acey..no, no, you’re both past that point.”
“Fuuuck…” Ace looked down and started bouncing his heel up and down. “Uhm..well.. Deuce will..you be my boyfriend? Officially?”
Deuce smiled and hugged Ace, “Yes!”
I look at the scene that unfolded before me, “Awww, cute.. But Euughhh! This is too wholesome for my taste! I’m heading back to Ramshackle so I don’t die from this shit!”
And just like that, I walk away from a confused Cater, Ace and Deuce.