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"Damn, I really thought that was going to work" Stiles muttered while trying to hold Peter's insides, well, inside his body. Derek gaped at the younger man across his uncle's prone form, once again questioning his sanity for being attracted to someone who was so obviously insane. And an idiot if this latest scheme that he and his uncle had cooked up was anything to go by.
His uncle who was currently groaning and bleeding all over the very expensive looking hardwood floors. Peter noticed Derek looking at him and immediately fell back from where he'd been trying to sit up. Derek didn't buy his unconscious act for a second. Peter was just trying to get out of being yelled at. Well, ha, the joke was on him. Derek snickered darkly as he heard the familiar sound of Chris' oversized man-toy of a truck turn into the driveway. Peter didn't seemed to have noticed that Derek was about to be the least of his worries.
About time too, he thought, Peter's attempts - aided and abetted by Stiles - to woo Chris Argent were going to get the two idiots killed. Derek refused to let Stiles die before he had the chance to kiss him - and he probably wouldn't let him die after that either. But ever since Peter and Stiles had taken up "Operation win- back-an-Argent -despite-a-few-unfortunate-homicidal-incidents-but-I'm-much better-now" (Hey, It's a working title, Derek, have you no heart? Can't you see Peter is a man in love?) it had become harder and harder to keep the two morons from actually killing themselves trying to get Chris to give Peter a chance. So far Chris had managed to avoid all their attempts and Derek now had Stile's dad, the fire department, the local coven and, oddly enough, the hipster coffee shop where Peter and Stiles did all their scheming on speed dial.
Hearing Chris approaching the door, Derek decided to help his uncle's efforts along.
"So what exactly were you two geniuses trying to do here?"
"Chris is still refusing to even talk to Peter -" Stiles explained wide-eyed, patting Peter's hand in sympathy at the wolf's pitiful whine.
Derek rolled his eyes, far too used too his uncle's melodrama to be moved.
"So, what? You decided that it would be a good idea to break into the most paranoid man in Beacon Hills' house?"
Stiles scratched the back of his neck in a familiar way. "Well, when you put it that way, I could see where our plan may have had a few holes in it."
Derek pinched the bridge of his nose in seeming exasperation, while sneaking a look to where Chris was standing unseen in the hallway.
"What were you planning on doing if you succeeded?"
"We were just going to leave him a little present, so Peter could show him how he feels."
Derek looked around the formerly pristine living room now scattered with debris and bits of sofa fluff. He looked over and met his uncle's eyes- the other man having given up faking his own death.
"And just what were you trying to tell him with this little stunt?" Derek watched as Chris seemed to hold his breath, remaining undetected by Stiles and a still recovering Peter.
"I'm trying to tell that stubborn bastard that I love him. That I still love him. Even after all this time, after everything we've done - I'm still not over him. I'll never be over him. "
It was hard to hear the heartbreak in his normally proud uncle's voice. Peter might be an asshole but he was Derek's family and he hated that he was hurting. Still, it wouldn't do to encourage these types of activities, Derek thought as he stared through the brand new hole in the side of the former hunter's house.
"Did you have to try to tell him this with a grenade?"
"Not our fault!" Stiles exclaimed while Peter insisted "The collector who sold it to me didn't say that it was still live- just that it was rare and any weapons collector would love to have it".
Derek just raised an eyebrow in response to the complete nonsense that these two tried to pass off as normal behaviour.
How was this his life?
Rather than re-engage, he threw up his hands and turned to leave. Chris was still standing in the doorway staring in amazement at his new home renovations. Derek smirked at the older deputy as he walked past and clapped a gleeful hand on his shoulder as he past him on his way out the door.
"They're your problem now".