Chapter Text
Nace’s heart was pounding out of his chest as he tried to sweep his sweaty palms on his jeans. “I don’t know if I can do this”, he found himself saying out loud. “Hey! You’re Nace Jordan! Of course you can do this”, Bojan reassured him slapping his hand on Nace’s back. Nace took a deep breath and tightened his left hand's grip on the neck of his bass guitar. “No need to be nervous, our crowd is the nicest ever”, Jure appeared next to Nace and gave him a slight side-hug. “Thanks, Jure”, Naced replied earning a nod back. “It’s going to be great and fun and everything, believe me”, Kris said as he had gotten his guitar tuned. Nace nodded towards him, flashing a small smile. Jan was sitting on a couch, just taking deep breaths and holding his head in his hands. Nace thought he could go and talk to him a bit but before he could even take one step, Bojan was next to Jan and had placed his hand on the latter’s back, whispering something to him.
Jan was still a bit of a mystery to Nace because they hadn’t really talked. Nace feels like Jan isn’t a big fan of him, which is completely okay, but Nace would still like to get to know him, even just a little. Now Jan had raised his look and Nace was mesmerized by this man's looks. He had found Jan beautiful and extremely good-looking right away when he joined the band and saw him for the first time. Right now Jan was fucking hot and Nace had to really hold himself back. Jan had cried or he had an allergic reaction because his eyes were red and watery. Jan’s hair was messier than usual and it looked like a dream to Nace who was weak for long-ish hair and even more so if it was a bit of a mess.
Bojan offered a hair-tie to Jan, and soon the godly messy hair was put on a bun. “Thanks”, Jan mouthed to Bojan who was already offering a new object to his friend, a pack of tissues. Nace had to look away so he turned around and tuned his bass again. He had tuned it like 20 times already but he wanted to be sure that it was tuned because it would be a complete embarrassment if it was out of tune when he stepped onto the stage. “Five minutes to go guys!” Their manager shouted and signed them to follow her. “Let’s go”, Bojan tapped Jan’s back, who nodded his head and got up from the couch.
“1, 2, 3 and go”, the intro had ended and their manager pushed them to the stage. First Jure, then Jan and Kris, then Nace and lastly Bojan. Nace could almost feel how the crowd was judging him with their looks. He couldn’t care about it now, he needed to play Gola as well as he possibly could. “Zimsko jutro hladno gre skoz mene. Pojejo ptički pesmi pridušene”, Bojan started singing. The song went on and slowly but surely Nace started to feel much more confident while playing. The crowd was also starting to get used to him and when it came time for Demoni the crowd was completely sold for Nace. “Doing good!” Bojan fist-bumped with Nace after Demoni and Nace gave him a happy smile. “Thanks”, he answered. Kris and Jure had also really happy smiles on their face and Jan… well Jan had turned his back to Nace, tuning his guitar again.
Nace glanced at the crowd: could the crowd see the tension between him and Jan? Or is it even tension? It’s probably just awkwardness. “Next you’re going to witness the most amazing troubadour of all time, the stage is yours Jan Peteh!” Bojan shouted and Jan’s solo started. Nace had heard it many times before when they practised. He had seen Jan play it many times, he had explored Jan's features when he played it. Nace had done it all. Still, when he saw Jan play it first time on stage, he could’ve died in that place right there. Jan was amazing at what he did. Nace couldn’t draw his eyes away from this god-like creature that just stood in front of him and played his guitar. He would’ve done anything Jan asked him to do, anything.
The gig was a huge success. Everything went on nicely and smoothly, the crowd was having the best time of their lives and so was the band. “Yes! That was amazing!” Bojan shouted and high-fived all of his bandmates. “Nace, you belong with us!” Kris said and Nace smiled at him. “Thanks, I really enjoyed being on stage with you guys!” Nace nodded his head and Bojan did a small jump. “Great! The next gig is on next… Friday, was it?” Bojan said looking at their manager. “Yes, Friday”, she nodded her head. Then she offered her hand to Nace, who shook it. “Well done Nace, you’re the piece this puzzle was missing”, she said smiling. “Thank you, I’m happy to be here”, Nace answered. “Okay, thank you for this night, we’ll see on Monday”, their manager said before she walked away from them. Everyone shouted ‘Happy weekend’ and ‘See you on Monday’ to their manager and then the band was also free to leave.
“So I think we should go to eat”, Jure said and got many agreements after his statement. “Yes, I am starving”, Kris nodded his head. “Sounds like a plan, are you coming Jan?” Bojan asked and took his jacket from the rack. “Igor needs food”, Jan said and glanced at the clock. “He’s a big boy, he can wait for another hour!” Kris said adding a small chuckle. Jan rolled his eyes but a slight smile appeared on his face. “Okay, Igor can wait for a bit”, Jan then said and the band started to walk towards the exit door. Nace was walking beside Jan and his side was burning because Jan was so close. They weren’t touching but Nace had never been this close to someone that he found amazingly good-looking. “So”, that was the first thing Jan said to him. “So”, Nace repeated when Jan hadn’t continued his sentence. “Good job, Nacko”, Jan then said and Nace could’ve died, drowned, burned and everything else in that place. “Thanks”, Nace replied after gathering his thoughts. “And by the way, nobody calls me Nacko”, he added with a smile. Jan just huffed, shrugging his shoulders. “Am I nobody?” He asked squinting his eyes at Nace. “Apparently”, Nace said and earned the cutest chuckle he’d ever heard from Jan.
“Would this be a good place?” Bojan checked the menu of a pizza place. “Looks good”, Kris said and was already stepping in. “This okay?” Bojan looked at the rest of them. Jan and Jure both nodded their heads. Nace didn’t want to be a burden so he just nodded as well. “Let’s go then”, Bojan said following Kris in. “Hello, there would be five of us”, Kris told to a waitress and she nodded her head, leading them to a table where they all fit. “Here are the menus for you”, she handed the menus. “Thank you so much”, Bojan nodded at her and she walked to serve someone else. Nace opened the menu and eyed through it. Usually, there was an option to get gluten-free products but on this menu, Nace didn’t see anything. “So many options, I don’t know what I want”, Kris said and Bojan agreed with him. Nace just moved his eyes back to the menu. Well, there were salads, so something for him to eat at least. “So could I get you something to drink?” Their waitress was back. The boys ordered different drinks for themselves. Nace settled onto basic water. “I’ll be back as soon as possible”, the waitress smiled and was on her way. “So, how are you feeling after your first gig?” Bojan asked Nace. “I’m feeling good, I had really fun on stage after I got over the nervousness”, Nace answered and smiled. “That’s great! The audience enjoyed you as well! We’ve got so many messages that you look really good and you play really well”, Bojan said and Nace laughed. “I’m glad”, Nace commented. “Here are your drinks. Are you ready to order?” Their waitress was back with their drinks. “I think so”, Bojan said and glanced at his friends, who all nodded.
“Okay, what would you like?” The waitress took her little notebook and got ready to write. All the guys ordered different kinds of pizzas and then it was Nace’s turn. “Quick question: do you have any gluten-free options?” He asked and the waitress looked a bit worried. “I’m afraid that the only 100% gluten-free options are our salads”, she said and Nace nodded his head. “It’s okay, I’ll take the Greek salad then”, Nace said and the girl nodded writing it down. The waitress took the menus and left towards the kitchen. “You’re gluten-free?” Kris asked when the waitress had left. “Yeah, I have coeliac disease, " Nace said, shrugging his other shoulder. “You should’ve told us! We would have found a place where there are more options for you as well!” Bojan said and muttered his lips. “Don’t worry, I’m used to this”, Nace just smiled. “Ah, you’re too nice!” Jure said and Nace just chuckled slightly. “I really don’t mind what I eat, only that it’s gluten-free anything is okay with me!” Nace said and smiled at his bandmates. Oh right, his bandmates. He was part of this band now. Not just a tryout or someone random, he was the bassist of Joker Out. Fucking hell that is so cool!
“You should’ve told us, Nacko”, were the next words Nace got from Jan. They were walking back to their studio and Jan had slowed his steps so he could walk beside Nace. “Still no one calls me Nacko”, Nace said back trying to keep his cool. “Still I am no one”, Jan said and swept his hair, which had escaped from the bun, away from his face. “What I should’ve told you?” Nace guided the conversation back to Jan’s question. “That you can’t eat gluten”, Jan said and Nace just shook his head. “It’s really not that important, I’m grown man, I can find something to eat”, Nace said and quickly added: “And now you know? What’s there to question anymore?” Jan sighed and slowly shook his head from side to side. “We all ate pizza when you ate fucking salad, we could’ve gone to a place where you could have gotten a pizza as well”, Jan squinted his eyes at Nace. “I really enjoyed my salad, thank you for asking”, Nace said and flashed a smile. “Fuck you Nacko”, Jan scoffed. “Do you have a nickname?” Nace decided to ask next. “Naah, I have too short a name to have a nickname”, Jan shrugged his shoulders. “Okay, Janči”, Nace came up with that all by himself and he was proud of it. Jan made a gagging sound and Nace laughed. “Please, that sounds disgusting!” Jan stated and Nace just shrugged his shoulder. “Is Nacko any better though?” he asked. “Yes, because I invented it”, Jan replied. “Unbelievable”, Nace said but chuckled right after it.
They got to the studio but almost immediately it was Jan’s time to leave. He picked up his backpack and all the other stuff, waved at his bandmates and left. “Say hi to Igor!” Jure shouted after him. “Who is Igor?” Nace suddenly asked. “Igor is Jan’s cat. How don’t you know that? Jan talks about him all the time!” Bojan said, falling onto the couch. Nace just shrugged taking his place on the armchair. “Well, he really doesn’t talk to me that much”, he said and Bojan scrunched his eyebrows. “That’s true, Jan really doesn’t talk to you that much. But I think he’s just getting used to you", Bojan said. "Jan isn’t a big fan of new people”, Kris said walking into the room. Jure nodded his head saying: “But don’t worry, he’s really nice when you get to know him!” Nace wanted to tell these guys how he has been trying to get to know Jan, but apparently, the time just wasn’t right yet. He had to wait for Jan to be settled with him. “Hey, we have to add Nace to our group chat!” Bojan suddenly realized. “Oh yes!!” Kris said and soon Nace got a notification that he was added to the “Joker boys” group chat.
Immediately after getting back home, Nace changed his clothes. He put on a white T-shirt and basic grey sweatpants. Then he took his contacts out and found his glasses on his bedside table. “Hello Pea!” Nace greeted his orange cat that had just woken up from his couch. After greeting his cat, Nace graved for some tea, so he went and filled his kettle. “Are you hungry?” Nace cooed and squatted down to pet his cat, who had followed him to the kitchen. He put some food in Pea’s bowl and then poured some boiling water into his favourite cup. The cup was peach-coloured and it had a silhouette of a cat on it. It was Nace’s grandmother's coffee cup before she passed away. Still sometimes when Nace drinks from that cup he remembers the endless summers spent at his grandmother's house.
Nace was genuinely happy back then, he was a kid. No worrying or stressing about anything, no responsibilities, no pressure, just living a happy kid life. Oh god, Nace would pay to be a kid again. His tongue burned when he took the first sip, as always he was too impatient to wait before drinking his tea. Pea had got enough of his food and hopped on Nace’s lap. Pea is a very cuddly cat and Nace didn’t complain at all, he enjoyed the company of his small orange friend.
Nace took a new sip of his tea, now knowing for a fact that the liquid was too hot for him to handle. You know what else is too hot for him to handle? Yes, you knew it, Jan Peteh. Somehow Nace’s thoughts just always lead him to Jan Peteh. Nace doesn’t complain about it but he would like to know if there was any possibility for the man of his dreams to like him back. Even just an inch of hope would be enough for Nace, but now he was certain that there was not even a chance.
Nace doesn’t see dreams really often, or he just doesn’t remember them, so every time he remembers it has to be something special. This time it definitely was something special, because the first time ever in his dreams was Jan Peteh. His dream wasn’t anything weird, it wasn’t unnatural or dirty or anything like that, it was just basic things. In his dream, they were just hanging in their studio and then somehow Nace and Jan were left alone. Then Jan had admitted that he liked Nace and after that, they kissed. It could’ve been real, Nace could’ve received a ‘good morning love’ message from Jan, but his phone was emptier than ever. Nace’s face felt hot when he sat up, continuing his journey towards the bathroom. Pea was sleeping calmly on Nace’s yellow couch when he walked past it. Nace got to his small bathroom and splashed some water on his face. When he looked at himself from the mirror he was indeed red, looking more like a tomato than himself.
Nace had entered their studio and taken his shoes off when Jan Peteh greeted him. “Nacko”, Jan breathed and Nace turned his look at him. “Janči”, Nace replied, they just nodded heads at each other and then their paths separated, Jan going towards the bathroom and Nace entering the hanging room. “Hello, Nace!” Jure said happily as he opened a little bag of candy. “We have received Finnish candies”, Jure said tasting the first one of them. “Do you want?” He offered the bag towards Nace. He took one of the candies and thanked Jure. “So what are our plans today?” Nace asked, taking his place on the floor next to the couch where Bojan and Jure were sitting. Kris had reserved the armchair so he must been here first. “Just practice something and chill, nothing too big. Our next gig is on Friday”, Kris said stuffing his phone into his pocket. “Okay”, Nace just shrugged his shoulder and took a better sitting position. Jan walked back in and seated himself between Jure and Bojan. “Shall we rehearse something or just chat?” Jan proposed and Bojan groaned tilting his head back. “I’m tired”, he complained and Jan smacked his leg playfully. “Okay, then we chat first”, he said and started with a question: “How did everyone sleep?”
Nace found himself exploring Jan’s features again, how Jan’s baby hairs were hanging in front of his eyes, how his cheeks were a bit of a pinkish colour, how his lips looked so incredibly kissable- “Nace?” Bojan asked and waved his hand towards him. “Mhm?” Nace snapped back to this life. “Everything okay? You just zoned out”, Jure asked placing his hand on Nace’s shoulder. “Yeah, sorry”, Nace lowered his gaze. “It’s okay, how did you sleep?” Kris asked and Nace blinked his eyes a few times. “I slept okay, I saw just some weird dreams”, Nace said and Kris nodded his head. “Dreams are nice if they’re nice”, Jure commented. “Yeah, I had a nightmare last night and it was awful, I woke up when I died”, Jan said and shook his head. “RIp Jan”, Bojan said and earned a smack from Jan. “Fuck you”, he said and then both of them laughed.
Jan sighed and then looked over to the window. “It’s so hot in here”, Jan complained and swept his hair away from his face. Yeah, you’re hot. Was the first thought in Nace’s head. Then Nace almost choked on his own spit and started coughing like crazy. “Water for Nace!” Kris jumped up from the armchair and opened their red mini-fridge, taking a water bottle out of it. Kris handed it to Nace who thanked him and took a sip out of the bottle. “Yeah it is pretty hot in here”, Bojan said then and nodded his head. “I’ll open the window”, Jan said, getting up from the couch and walking to the window. Jan opened it and Nace followed him with his gaze. A slight breeze blew Jan’s hair away from his eyes and Nace was sold for this man. He was always sold for this man.
“Kaj je prav me ne bremeni. Ker s tabo svet ne izpodriva me”, they had just ended practising Vse Kar Vem when Bojan’s phone started ringing and he walked away from the microphone. “I have to take this, one moment”, Bojan said answering the call and walking into the hanging room and closing the door after him. “Busy businessman”, Jure said, changing to a different pair of drumsticks. “Yeah, he is”, Kris agreed and chuckled. “So when did you move in Ljubljana Nace?” Jure suddenly asked spinning the drumstick with his fingers. “Oh uhm just a few months ago. I had a pretty bad breakup and wanted to move away from it”, Nace said and Kris muttered his lips. “That sucks, I’m sorry”, Kris said and Nace just shook his head. “Don’t worry, I’m all over it already!” Nace said and flashed a smile at Kris. “So how have you liked living here?” Jure asked running fingers through his hair. “Yeah, I really like it here and now even more when I have friends here!” Nace smiled. “We’re really happy that you are here with us!” Jure stated smiling widely.
“Hey!” Bojan came back from the hanging room. “Yeah?” Kris asked. Nace quickly glanced at Jan and saw that Jan was actually looking at him. Nace turned his look back to Bojan, but he felt how a small blush crept on his cheeks. “We’re having a photoshoot tomorrow! We need new photos now that we have Nace with us!” Bojan said nodding his head. “Oh, okay. Give us a place and time”, Kris said and Bojan nodded his head, opening his phone. “I’ll send all the information to the group chat”, he said, tapping on his phone. “Good, do we have outfits for it?” Kris then asked and Bojan nodded his head again. “Yes, everything is ready, we just need to go there”, he informed.
Nace slowly moved his gaze back to Jan, who was indeed still looking at him. Nace decided that he wasn’t looking away. There they were, Jan and Nace, staring intensively at each other, both not wanting to lose this competition. “So”, Bojan tried to get their attention but those two were just intensively staring at each other. “Hello?” Bojan tried again, but nothing. “Hey?” Was the word when both of the men turned to look at him. “Yeah?” They said at the same time. Bojan just started laughing and shook his head. “Nothing, you two are just so fun”, Bojan commented.
‘What are you guys wearing?’ Bojan wrote into their group chat. ‘ Just something basic,’ Kris replied. ‘ Kris’s “basic” is anyone else's formal outfit😂’, Jure wrote. They were invited to a movie premiere where they were going all together, a fun Friday evening activity as a band! Nace looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. “I don’t know Pea”, Nace said and took his blue denim jacket off. “Would the black one be better?” Nace thought and waited for his cat to answer. Pea just sat at the end of Nace’s bed and stared at him. “Your look is judgemental”, Nace said, squinting his eyes at Pea. After that, Nace chuckled and sat next to his cat. “Sorry, of course, you’re not judgemental. I am just insecure about myself”, Nace sighed glancing at the mirror again. He saw himself in the past, it was still him but just a shy, more insecure, broken, anxious version of himself. Nace hated that version of himself, but still, he always saw him in the mirror. He wasn’t able to see today’s Nace.
“I brought snacks”, Jan whispered mostly to Nace, sneaking a package of gluten-free cookies into Nace’s hand. Nace was sitting almost at the end of the row, just one place free next to him. Bojan, sitting on the other side of him, was pretty loudly chatting with someone seated behind their group. “What? Why?” Nace whispered back and Jan took the free seat next to him. “I was sure that here wouldn’t be anything for you, so I bought these”, Jan simply said, shrugging his other shoulder. Nace was amused by this man. “Well, popcorn is gluten-free”, Nace said, showing the small pot of popcorn he had taken, but Jan shook his head. “I’m not playing this game with you anymore!” Jan stated, his voice raising a bit. Nace winced a bit and just blinked his eyes at Jan. “You’re way too nice Nace! You don’t deserve to always just watch when other people have nice snacks! That’s why I got you cookies”, Jan said nodding his head. “And don’t you dare to pay those back!” He quickly added earning a small chuckle from Nace. “Thank you, Janči. I appreciate this”, Nace smiled and opened the package.
“Should we do something else? Hey, it’s Friday!” Bojan said after they had gotten out of the cinema. “I don’t know, I’m pretty tired”, Jan mumbled and Jure slapped his back. “Shape up Peteh”, he said, everyone laughing. “Sorry”, Jan said spreading his arms. “I am a really hardworking university student! Besides Igor needs food!” Jan said and Bojan shook his head. Jan studies, Nace noted this new fact about this godly beautiful man. “Well, let’s go to feed Igor together and then we can go to a nightclub!” Bojan proposed and Jan sighed, rolling his eyes at their vocalist. Jure took both Jan’s and Bojan’s arms and lifted Bojan’s arm up. “And Bojan Cvjetičanin wins this round, let’s go!” Jure shouts and Kris cheers. “YES! I was always rooting for Bojči!” He laughed. “Fuck you all, okay. Let’s go then”, Jan said and they started walking towards Jan’s apartment. It was getting late and little by little it was also getting cold. “This is going to be such a fun night!!” Jure jumped and took a few running steps. “Ah, I just love Jure so much!” Bojan sighed and Jure turned around to flash a wide smile at his friend. “Love you too!” Jure blew a kiss. Nace felt pretty warm even though the air was cold. He was feeling warm inside. This type of friend group was a new environment for him. Past Nace didn’t have any experiences like this, so now he would take everything out of them. Nace was going to enjoy his friends.