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English
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Published:
2023-09-30
Updated:
2023-12-08
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3,937
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2/?
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Three Assassins & Three Businessmen Make Family

Summary:

Business Men, Assassin AU with super power, magic and so much more!

You ever wonder what it would be like if more people wrote 6/4 SBI (5.Ranboo & 6.Tubbo) and everyone was the main character? Well, now you can find out! (temp until i can write something better.)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: Why Not Take The STRANGE job?

Summary:

The Adventure begins! Who's ready for this ride?

Chapter Text

“Why is it always us that life throws shit at?" Tommy did a forward roll, landing in a crouch, and turned his back against the large boxes in front of him. Looking to his left, Tubbo was peeking over the box he was using for cover grenades in hand, his yellow and black right eye glowing as neon green smoke poured from his hands into the grenades. “Maybe it's because we don’t know how to pick jobs?” Tommy looked to his right, and putting together his sniper was Ranboo, looking as nervous as always purple particles frantic around him.

"Really, Boob boy, this is when you start complaining about this 600,000 dollar job!" Tommy said he was looking more than a little exasperated by this whole situation.

“This whole thing was really shady from the start, Tommy. Don’t tell me you don’t agre-” 

BOOMMMM! Ranboo was cut off by a loud explosion. Both boy's looked over to where Tubbo was, grenades no longer in hand. “Now is not the time to be having this conversation; let's GO!”


Six Months Ago


“I’m bored guys; we have to do something, anything.” Tommy sat up from the couch he was lying on and looked over to Tubbo and Ranboo. Tubbo was working on some new invention sitting at his desk, and Ranboo was in the kitchen making lunch. Michael and Shroud decided to play in their room for the time being.

Ranboo looked over their shoulder and said, “What do you suggest we do right now, Tommy?” They raised an eyebrow at Tommy that said, "We have two kids to look after this summer.”

"Well, I don't know... but we have to do some job or anything not in this apartment. I'm starting to get very bored, Ranboo, very bored!” Tommy flops back on the couch. He knew he was acting like a child, but he couldn't help it. Boredom was his number one enemy, and he was currently fighting it. Summer was only 3 weeks from ending, but if he had to wait 3 weeks, he might actually go crazy and start killing for fun.

"Well, I do agree we need to do another job soon; rent is coming up.” Tubbo looks up at Ranboo and Tommy getting up from his desk and stretching. Tubbo grabs his laptop and sits on Tommy’s legs, where he's stretched out on the couch Tommy yelped, pulling his legs from out under Tubbo and sitting up next to him as he started pulling up all manor of technical scripts on his laptop that the other two boys could never hope to understand, and a link to The Pit appeared up, and Tubbo went to The Pits job page looking around for kill contracts, breaking and entering jobs,or information gathering work like always. 

Tubbo and Tommy start talking about what jobs the three could take now or in 3 weeks. As Ranboo finished making lunch, they turned and called up the stairs, “Michael, Shroud, lunch is ready!” The two young children came running down the stairs, and just as Michael was about to reach the bottom, Shroud jumped on Michael, and he yelled as they tumbled, “FIRST!” Ranboo smiled softly, picking Shroud up off of Michael. The kids looked at each other and started laughing. Walking to the kitchen and sitting at the old wooden table eating their lunch, Ranboo walked back to the living room and flopped on Tubbo, opposite of Tommy and said, “Maybe we keep it simple and just take a small job this time around?”

Tommy sighed “Come on Ran, we have to do a job that pays the bills and keeps all five of us fed at least this week. Simple jobs are what? $1k max for a really good job; we need something better.”

“Well tommy we shouldn't put our-”

Tubbo turned off his hearing aids, cutting whatever Boo was saying off and focused on looking for jobs He loved Boo and Toms, but they had this argument every time it came to picking jobs, and Tubbo was always the deciding factor. Having to find something that paid the bill and kept them fed while also keeping both of his friends happy wasn't an easy task to say the least As Tubbo looked, he saw something out of the ordinary: a posting that seemed to be using three different ciphers and binary As Tubbo looked at the weird posting, he could see flaws in the ciphers and binary used and as he started to fix them, a posting and username for the lister were revealed.

 

Eternal End

04/03/2020

If you are reading this post, congratulations on deciphering my code. I am now going to give you one of the easiest jobs in the world, if you are experienced enough to handle it. I want you, whoever you are, to make a complete and full dossier on the owners of SB International. If this job can be completed within three weeks of you starting it, you will receive 4 thousand dollars and a 2 thousand dollar bonus.

Except... or Deny...

Tubbo read and re-read the listing over and over again. Was this real? Was it a joke? This couldn't be real, right? to be able to pay their rent, fill their fridge up, and have an extra $2k in case of emergency, and all they had to do was follow some rich people around? a dream job that couldn't be true!

Upon feeling a tap on his shoulder, Tubbo turned to face Ranboo, who asked using BSL, "Everything ok? Me and Tommy weren't overwhelming you?” Boo had a look of concern on their face Tubbo shook his head No. and turned his hearing aids back on and said, "Everything's fine; it's just this job; it's a little too hard to believe Read it yourself.” Both Tommy and Ranboo looked at the listing and read and re-read the post until Tommy says "Sooooooooo, we’re taking this very strange job, right?” Both Ranboo and Tubbo look at Tommy and say, In unison, very loudly, "YES.”

Chapter 2: As Their Day Goes

Summary:

DAY IN THE LIFE of Philza, Wilbur and Technoblade

Notes:

I was going to split this chapter because it's over 2,900 words but nawwwwwww...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

All I feel is pain, why does movement hurt when I turn to my left? My win- My wings are chained. Why? What's happening? Where’s Tech and Will? Where am I? Philza stills as footsteps, calm and contained, get closer and closer to him, even though he can’t see. The individual who entered is standing in front of him, and he can feel them near. 

"I wonder what your patron lady will do when she finds out I have borrowed you for the moment, little angel," the man proclaimed. A sudden wave of pain sweeps through Phillza, causing him to scream as the man pulls him closer to him by the chains on his wrists, pulling his wings taut on the chains connecting to the floor. The man chuckles and whispers in Philza's ear, “No ONE’S coming to save you now. Lady Death is unable to reach you; both Technoblade and your son are gone. i hold all the car-” 

BOOMMMM! 

With a chirp of pain coming from Phil’s mouth, the man who was holding Philza swore and threw him to the ground. Phil went tumbling to the side, colliding with a wall, the air being knocked out of him, trying to catch his breath as he began to hyperventilate. “Do not attempt too fly far, little angel. Guards!” The man turned and walked away, assertively speaking, "Watch him; he is more dangerous than he seems.” Philza's mind began to race. Why us? Why me! I’m just a crow hybrid who follows Lady Death; there is nothing special about me... I am not unique or dangerous. Right? As the chains settled on Philza's wrists and wings, he wondered what other than money this man who kidnapped him could want.


Monday, April 6th, 2020


“Wake up, darling, you have things to do this morning…” He could hear the sad smile in her voice, and when he looked up at her, the veiled sun hat that always covered her face seemed to be her only protection from him seeing the sadness, so he flew up to her. wings beating in the air softly, and reached for the divide, wanting to comfort her and tell her everything would be ok, but just as he started to move the veil like always, the dream ended...

THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!

Philza opens his eyes, looking around confused after his dream, as loud footsteps and yelling approach his bedroom and as he sits up. SLAM! Wilbur comes rushing into the room. "DAD, DON’T LET HIM KNOW I’M HERE HE’LL GET ME!” Will hides under the bed, and Technoblade comes into the room calm and composed, putting on an air of ‘I'm not angry.’ he smiles, seeing Philza awake. “Hullo and good morning, old man. You haven’t seen that kid of yours, have you?”

Phil laughs and says, pointing under his bed, “Good morning to you, Techno Mate. Nope, I haven’t seen him.”

Techno smirks, walking out of the room. “When you do see him, let him know he’s dead for eating the rest of my homemade Arctic Berry Jelly.”

Philza smiles mischievously “I will, mate.” Techno walks out the room closing the door and Wilbur slides out from under the bed, standing proudly He whispers, “You didn’t tell him I was her-” The door opens, and Wilbur screams as Techno grabs him at an alarmingly fast rate, throwing him on Philza’s bed and softly punching Will “Next time, don’t eat my jelly!”

Wilbur grabs Techno's hands, stopping him and hissing out. “It's JAM!”

“JELLY!”

“JAM!”

“JELLY!”

“JAM!”

“Jell-!”

“BOYS!” Philza yells, stopping them from fighting more.

“How about you both do this in any other room when we’re all dressed for the day and not screaming in my room, hmm?”

Both Techo and Will look sheepish and walk out of the room, right after they both start yelling again, Wilbur says. “Don't you dare touch me, Techno."

“I am going to tickle you until you cry,” Technoblade asserts, “because you should not have taken my jelly.” Wilbur yelling all kinds of obscenities can be heard as he starts running away, seemingly with Techno after him. Phil chuckles to himself, wondering how the hell did I end up with these two as business partners? (Family) 

After the morning chaos, Philza dresses in a dark green blazer, white undershirt, and black dress pants. He also puts on his black crow tie, silver crow sitting on a skull design cufflinks, and a black pocket square with skulls on it. And when Philza leaves his room, he grabs his dark green, wide Brim Fedora with a white strip of satin cloth. As Philza leaves his emerald earring glowing when light hits it, he doesn’t see the purple particles that appear in his room when the door closes or hear the vwoop of teleport.

As the owners of SBI do every morning, they stop at The Blooming Cafe, which they currently own. They wanted to keep their favorite coffee shop open, so wildly they purchased the location from Nikki, the previous owner. When the three approach the store, the neon flower welcome sign is lit, and a plethora of plants are arranged in planters and vases by the windows both inside and outside; countless more are suspended from the ceiling and walls. The bell sounds DINGS!, and Nikki turns to face Phil, Techno, and Wilbur. Nikki is wearing her typical work clothes. "Well, good morning you three!" she says, pulling her pink hair back in a small ponytail. “Would you like your usual?”

“You know it, Nikki.” Will shoots back as he walks up to the counter and pays, while Nikki gets their usual order. boba milk tea and a croissant for Phil, black coffee and bacon egg and cheese on a bagel for Techno, and Will gets an iced coffee with toast and arctic jam. The three sit at the end of the counter for a few minutes, not paying attention to others who come and go, such as the green-hooded, brown-haired kid who sits in the booth behind them with a laptop or the blond kid in a red hoodie, who stands outside the cafe's window as they leave, looking at the help wanted sign.

The trio heads to SBI after stopping at the blooming cafe. With one main skyscraper tower and three surrounding ones, as well as multiple connecting sky bridges and walkways, the company's main building here in the Arctic Capital is reportedly among the tallest in the city. The three exit their car as usual and send the driver off for the portion of the day he is not needed. Phil, Techno, and Will walk up to the gate and walk together to the main building. Talking with SBI employees as they go and checking in with the employees who talk with them about the day so far and how it's going, they get to the main building. Visiting a high school tour group and having a conversation with a few of the young people who expressed interest in working at SBI in the future provided insight into the company's mission and the requirements for becoming an SB Industries employee.

When they arrive at the top floors of the SBI Center Tower late in the morning, Friend and Rosie are waiting for them when they exit the elevator. Friend is a blue-haired sheep hybrid with mountain sheep horns, and Rosie is a sheep hybrid with pink and red hair and eland horns. Friend looks worried, while Rosie looks pissed. "Friend, dear, remind me to slit these idiot’s throats later.” Rosie is looking at Philza, Technoblade, and Wilbur like the three are the bane of her existence. Crossing her arms and tapping her hoof, Rosie states, “Did you all forget that you have different meetings this morning on the next line of clothing, personal protection gear for North Esempi’s armed forces, and the interdesign of the new museum opening in a few WEEKENDS!” Every employee in the vicinity or walking by on this floor smiles, giggles, and laughs. Wilbur and Philza exchange a look as they push Techno forward, who gives them a stern look in return. This is all too familiar: the three owners of SBI being yelled at by their ferocious head assistant. Technoblade, like always, is dressed formally in a dark blood red blazer and matching red dress pants and black dress shirt. He is leaning slightly on his dark wood cane, the topper a wither skeleton skull with a thin golden crown rubies set into it his netherite ring also has rubies in it that glow as Tecno twists his ring and tries to smile, that ends up being very awkward as he says to Rosie "Ro, you know us; we weren't trying to be late." Rosie raises an eyebrow, and with a look all three of them know well, Techno sighs and stops feigning innocence. “After the museum opens, a week's vacation deal?”

Rosie grins. "Friend and I have two weeks off, and you allowed us to use your apartment in Las Nevadas."

Techno gives a special kind of smile to a select group of people before sarcastically stating, "Anything you say. Is there anything further we can do for you, Princess Roseline?" Techno extends his right arm in a small bow, causing others on the upper floor to laugh aloud. Rosie grinned back. "Well, I suppose I could accept this offer for the time being, but only if all three of you rush to get to the meetings you have to attend." Wilbur approached Friend, and the two of them set off in the direction of the tower that Wilbur had declared his own. Rosie trailed behind Philza as he headed towards his tower, while Phil and Technoblade split up to go to their respective towers. Techno, meanwhile, set out to locate Steve wherever the hybrid polar bear went for the day.

“You have one of the most important meetings of the day Mr. Watson, but I trust you to keep things civil with whoever is meeting you today regarding the museum's design and decor, Rosie tells Phil Then quieter, rolling her eyes. "Techno will probably end up fighting whoever the armed forces send, and you know Steve will follow right behind him, so I cannot give him that same trust."

"This parcel was left for you this morning, so I wanted to make sure you got it," Rosie continues. Philza is given a small, unassuming brown parcel by Rosie that he had not previously noticed her carrying. “Thank you, Rosie.” Philza surveys the area before murmuring, "We cannot get into more shit with the government; please keep Techno and Steve from maiming anyone... again." Rosie spins around to trail Technoblade as Philza leaves. As Phil takes off for his meeting, the SBI heads and the employees of SBI miss the little bee-like mechanical creatures that seem to follow after the three SBI heads and their assistants.

2 Hours Later-Philza’s Office

Gods I'm tired, ugh of all the things Kristen could have left me. Why her company? Philza sat in his chair and leaned back, tired as hell. He looked at the brown small parcel on his desk with no postage stamp or return address and nothing to show who sent the thing Phil sat up and started to open the small pack, and the first thing to fall out was a note on black reflective paper in white reflective ink that said.

You sit trapped in the tower given to you by death, and even with all the lost souls you’ve made, you don’t suffer; you just forget. You soar, and let me tell you that will happen no more. Once I take you from those you care for, the cage I built for you far away, deep in the mountains, will muffle the pained cries you’ll make. No one will hear, but all will feel as the goddess herself will fight and kill for her favored angel, like in the past when she drew her blade and made a blood mess that even the blood god feard .

Breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out Philza tries his best to keep from panicking. His head starts spinning, and he collapses on the floor like the entire world is on his shoulders, and trying to move would kill him. He chirps in pain and cries out as he falls, almost like the hand holding him Let’s go, and he starts falling, spinning so out of control that no one could catch him. Then the door to his office opens, and in come Techno and Wilbur, unlike most days, not arguing, laughing, or joking. They rush to Philza as he tries to get up from behind his desk, breathing heavily. Techno kneels down and picks him up with ease, moving him over to the couch in his office, and speaks worry on his face "Phil, what happened? Are you alright? What’s wrong?” Techno looked around to make sure no one was in the room, and when Phil tried to speak, he started to panic again, so Techno instead affirmed, “Everything is ok, Phil. Breathe with me and follow the beat of my heart in and out, in and out.” Techno puts Phil’s hand on his heart, and Philza follows Technoblade’s instructions and slowly starts to calm down.

“It’s- their’s someone sent o- one of the-” Philza wazes over to where Wilbur is by his desk Will’s face is pale as he looks into the box and in it was one of Philza’s crows dead and the crow’s silver necklace was cracked Wilbur comes over and hugs Philza. “Why would some kill one of the crow's? Everyone knows that the crow’s with the heart necklaces are yours.” Philza’s wings come up around Will as he hugs back.

"It's ok, Wil.” Philza looked over his wings towards the box on his desk “Whoever did this... knew what they were doing. Techno, could you get Rosie ask her to call the police, please? And get Brian as well; we need to prepare a funeral for this crow.”

Later, at the Watson Residence

The door jingles to the three-story tall and wide townhouse. The place looked older than any other houses in the neighborhood, like it was cut from the same buildings as The Arctic Capital or Sanctuary of Minder. As Philza stepped through the door, tired and weary, Wilbur and Techno looked at him with worry and caution. The last time someone killed one of the crows, Phil went on a rampage and ended the guy's life. He lost his job, house and had to leave The Arctic Capital just to have a life again, and now someone has killed one of the crows on purpose. Saying they were worried would be an understatement. Techno walked over to Phil as he went to walk up the stairs. "Phil, are you going to be okay? He placed his hand on Philza’s shoulder.

“I'll be fine, mate; I just need some sleep... You and Will don’t need to worry.” When Phil shifts to look at Techno, the smile he gives is fake, and they both know it, but still, he lets Phil go wings limp as he walks up the stairs. This might have been the saddest either Techno or Will had seen him in a very long time...

 

In the night

“You need not be sad My Sunshine, why do you cry?" Philza looked up. He touched his face and could feel the tears running down his face and hear his voice, even though it sounded underwater. When he looked up, the crow from earlier was on the lady's shoulder. It flew down, sat in front of him, and said, "Dadza, why do you cry? Everything is alright.” 

Phil shook his head. “I've killed you like all the rest Abbie, and for that, I am sorry. You deserved life, and I took it.”

The Crow cawed laughter clear as a blue sky “I have been dead a long time, Angel of our Lady, and in your service I fell in battle. You honor me by knowing my name and fighting even when you feel this pain of lossed life. This is not your fault; I died with a message for you that you need to hear Angel of Suns.” The crow flew up to Philza’s shoulder and chirped

“They see you, but you won't know or see them. Protecting the knowledge of where it's hidden is your job, and theirs is your protection. Do not fret; they will light the way with life, chaos, love, and death, just like you always do. Take this new family and show them your heart; help them fly, and they will lead you home.” BONK! the crow, puts it's head into Philza's shoulder, then flies back up to the lady and does the same before flying off into nothing.

Phil looks up to the veiled, larger than life woman in the darkness. “Am I supposed to figure that out? because I'm not that smart." The lady laughs, and it fills Phil with the sensation of love and flying in a clear blue sky. He closes his eyes. He's expecting the dream to end, but when he opens his eyes again, he is flying high above the clouds and the capital below, and next to him, the veiled lady is flying alongside him. As the two do, Phil realizes the dream has yet to end and the happiness he feels is very welcome.

Notes:

I HATE SCHOOL IT TAKE ALL OF MY TIME! It shouldn't have taken this long to POST! Anyways, I hope you enjoyed <3

Notes:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AHnSe157jZ7JqAqcgTRJvu7yxYA82VsQJPGGQcwCiDo/edit?usp=sharing

Use the link for more information and backstory BEWARE ITS SPOILERS!!! If you enjoyed tell other minecraft fanfic enjoyers i don't really use socials anymore so noting to follow :p

Also this story has our worlds time and date system but the events aren't the same so no covid or people being dumb.