Work Text:
You love me
And you’re gay.
Those fuckin words
That stupid face
Bleeding
Pleading
Look away
Don’t cry
Don’t let him see
Crying is weak
And then he’d know
Red filled face
Shouting words that can’t make sense
Nothing comes clear
But anger
I should hate him
He made my own family despise me
Hate’s not what I feel
I punch
And kick
Try to make it feel better
I go after him
Like he’s everything in me I hate
Like beating him
Will finally beat it out of me
What can you do?
When your own dad almost kills you
Just for wanting who you want
For…
No
I can’t say that word
I say it and I admit I feel it
I can’t
All I can see
Is that stupid fuckin beautiful face
Bleeding at his hands
At mine
Push him away
And pull him in
At the same fuckin time
I don’t want to want it
But all I need
Are those perfect lips
Calling me his
And pressing against mine
I never wanted to kiss
I don’t do couple shit
Kisses
Hand holding
Fuckin stargazing
But he makes me want all of it
He makes feel like something
He just makes me feel
I never wanna see someone else’s hands on him
And I’m a fuckin hypocrite
He’s just fucked other people
I’m marrying someone else
It doesn’t matter that it means shit to me
It means something to him
And all I want is to see that stupid smile
And all I do is make it disappear
So yeah
I hit him
Maybe if I treat him like shit
He’ll finally see he deserves better
This neighborhood is full of shit
But he really scraped the bottom of the barrel with me
The biggest asshole of them all
The bitch that isn’t worth it
Dirtiest white boy in America
And a fuckin god picked me