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Sebastian straightens his tie in the mirror for what feels like the eightieth time in a span of ten minutes, but just like the other seventy-nine times he can’t tell if that actually helped or if he just made it more crooked. He’s not even sure he used the right knot. The Youtube video he’d watched on how to tie a tie had been too confusing for him to follow, so he did his best and it looks…fine, he supposes, but no matter what he does it’s always just a little bit crooked. He’s not used to ties. Kay had jokingly told him that he could wear one of Mr. Edgeworth’s cravats instead (or…jabots, maybe? He’s not really sure, but at this point he feels like he’s supposed to know and it’s far too late to ask for any kind of clarification from Mr. Edgeworth himself). At the time, he’d politely declined, but now he’s wondering if it might’ve been a bit easier to put on than this thing (probably not) He frowns, and straightens his tie again with shaking hands.
He’s not ready for this.
“Sebby.”
Sebastian flinches in surprise, silk slipping through his fingers as he glances up at Kay’s reflection in the bathroom mirror. He wonders how long she’s been there watching him, leaned up against the doorframe. She looks nice, dressed up in loose slacks with a pinstripe button up tucked in, her favorite cropped faux leather jacket slung over her shoulder. She cocks her head at him, earrings swinging. “You okay?”
“I’m great,” Sebastian replies, but his traitorous voice cracks as he says it.
The corners of Kay’s mouth twitch upward. “Yeah, thought so,” she says, hanging her jacket on the door handle. She crosses the short expanse of bathroom tile to stand in front of him, gently batting his gloved hands away so she can fix his tie. “You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”
“I’m not freaking out.”
“Yes you are.”
“Am not.”
“Are too. You did your buttons up wrong and everything.”
“What?” Sebastian glances down at his suit vest in alarm. When he does, Kay flicks his note and grins.
“Gotcha,” she says, winking.
“Kay,” Sebastian says exasperatedly. “You’re not helping.”
She snorts, tucking his tie into his vest before glancing up at him. “Uh huh. If you say so,” she says drily. “You want to walk into your swearing-in ceremony with a crooked-ass tie, then? I can mess it up for you if you want.”
“…It wasn’t that crooked.”
“Mmhm. Whatever you say, bro.” Kay gives him a teasing smile as she hoists herself onto the bathroom counter. “You look great, by the way. Justine picked out a good suit for you.”
Sebastian makes a noncommittal noise and brushes lint that isn’t there off his vest. It’s navy blue with shiny gold buttons, and it’s probably the nicest suit he’s ever owned. He’d fastened his white button-down cuffs with the music-note cufflinks the Wrights had gotten him for his birthday, and he has a diamond stud from Mr. Edgeworth glittering in his right ear. He only has one. Back when they were still living in Europe, Kay had convinced him to let her pierce his ears late one night with a needle and some ice, and after that initial, painful piercing, he hadn’t had it in him to get the other ear done.
He stares at his reflection, at all these little details. He almost doesn’t recognize this put-together person looking back, this person wearing a nice suit, wearing gifts from people who care about him, and he feels his skin prickle, ever so slightly. He bites at the inside of his cheek.
“Hey.” Kay bumps his leg with her socked foot. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?”
“I’m just…nervous, I guess,” Sebastian admits, so quietly that Kay has to lean in slightly to hear him.
She tilts her head. “Why’s that? You already passed the bar. That was, like, the hardest part.”
Sebastian fidgets with the hems of his gloves, looking down. He doesn’t want to try and explain the truth behind his nerves. He feels a little ashamed of it, to be honest, but Kay is watching him with that patient, expectant look on her face that she gets when she’s letting him take his time and the words force their way out of his mouth before he can stop them. “What if it’s like last time?” he whispers.
Last time when his successes weren’t successes at all, the collection of awards he’d hung so proudly on his childhood bedroom wall a collection of false pride. Last time when he person he thought he’d become after taking the bar, after swearing in, was no more than the butt of a joke he’d been to blind to see and based off a badge he didn’t earn. Last time when his father pulled his marionette strings, laughing at his idiot son who actually believed he was worth something in this world.
Last time, when he didn’t even deserve it in the slightest.
Sebastian’s breath snags in his throat, and he can feel the tears pricking at the backs of his eyes. He inhales sharply to try and hold them back, a ragged sound that echoes in the cavity of his chest. He can’t look at Kay. He can’t lift his gaze to meet hers, he can’t raise his chin for fear of seeing the person in the mirror behind her. He can’t-
Snap.
He flinches, hard. Kay lowers her fingers from in front of his face. “Hey, look at me.”
Sebastian swallows, staring down at his hands. Beneath his gloves he can picture the burn scars overlapping on his skin, slowly turning white with his death grip on the counter.
“Sebastian.”
His gaze snap to Kay’s face, and she holds it there in her grasp like a woman who’s about to give him a very stern talking-to. “You better quit that shit right now,” she says sharply. “We are not thinking about that on your big day.”
“But-“
“No. You listen to me, Sebastian Debeste,” Kay says, poking her finger at his chest. “We aren’t thinking like that. And you know why just as well as I do. Today is your day, and you worked hard for it. You followed your own path. You busted your ass studying to retake the bar. You put all the work in, all on your own. This whole thing,” she says, gesturing to him, “is all you, you got that? You practically memorized Mr. Edgeworth’s law books. You made all those notecards and binders to study with. You even researched all those old cases specifically so you could specialize in child abuse rather than be a general lawyer. That was you, Seb. Not anyone else. You did that.”
Sebastian bites at his lower lip, shoving his hands into his armpits. He’s not going to cry. He’s not. He’s not. He told himself that he wasn’t going to cry today, but then Kay puts her hand on his arm and looks into his eyes and says in that rare, serious tone of voice of hers that always makes her words sound so sincere: “You deserve this, Sebastian,” and he bursts into tears.
Kay chuckles, and grabs the washcloth from beside the sink, passing it to him. “Yeah, I should’ve expected this.”
He takes the towel, frantically wiping at his eyes. “S-sorry, I-“
“Hey, no, nope, no apologizes. We talked about the apologies, remember?” Sebastian opens his mouth, and Kay immediately frowns at him. “Don’t you dare say sorry again.”
He closes his mouth.
“That’s what I thought.”
She waits there patiently as he gets his hiccuping gasps under control, humming under her breath as she checks her eyeliner in the mirror. When his eyes are (mostly) dry again, she hops off the counter, gently hip-checking him as she grabs her leather jacket from the door handle. “Alright, Mr. Prosecutor,” she says teasingly, “you ready to get sworn in?”
Sebastian glances at the mirror again. At the person in the reflection who passed the bar exam on his own, a person who’s about to get sworn in as a prosecutor, for real this time. At himself.
Sebastian looks back at Kay, and when he smiles at her it comes a little more easily than he thought it would’ve.
“I’m ready.”
Kay drives, because Sebastian thinks he might crash the car if he were behind the wheel. She rolls down the windows and screams the lyrics to the Barbie soundtrack the entire way to the courthouse as the wind whips through her hair and passersby give them strange looks when they’re stopped at intersections. He knows she’s trying to make him less nervous, so he lets her, and laughs at all the silly voices she puts on and allows her to rope him into belting along to I’m Just Ken with her. When they pull up to the courthouse Kay is breathless and her cheeks are tinged pink, and Sebastian’s chest hurts from laughing so hard.
After they park Kay slides over the hood of the car so she can dramatically open the passenger side door for him, bowing in half at the waist like Mr. Edgeworth does. She winks at him as he gets out of the car, and he rolls his eyes back at her.
“You wanna race up the stairs?” she asks, pointing up at the courthouse.
“What? No. I’m gonna get sweaty.”
She sticks out her tongue. “You’re no fun.”
“Kay, I’m getting sworn in in like…” Sebastian checks his phone. “Twenty minutes. I don’t want to be sweaty.”
“Okay, fine. But you’d dry off by then, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Uh huh.”
Kay bounds up the stairs anyway, Sebastian trailing behind. Nerves coil in his stomach with each and every step he takes. The last time he stepped foot in this courthouse was during his father’s trial, when he stood as witness to his crimes after exposing him with that awful dirty newspaper smeared with motor oil. It was one of the worst days of his entire life, and his heart gives an anxious little stutter in the cage of his chest at the thought of being sworn in, not only in that same courthouse, but also in that very courtroom. But this time will be different.
This time, his father won’t be here at all.
Not that he was there for Sebastian’s first swearing-in ceremony.
Kay waits for him at the tops of the stairs, the courthouse looming as tall and imposing as ever behind her. “How are your armpits? Dry, I hope? Since apparently that’s a concern for you.”
“Shut up.”
She snorts. “You think Mr. Edgeworth is here yet?”
Sebastian shrugs. He hadn’t seen his car (and it’s hard to miss), but…”He probably got here really early,” he says, eyeing the giant courthouse doors. Mr. Edgeworth always gets to places early, and Sebastian and Kay both know this very well. They’ve both been dragged out of bed ridiculously early to get to the airpot for their flights to and from Europe when visiting the Wrights over the past three years, after all. Sebastian’s pretty confident that Mr. Edgeworth is inside the courthouse right now, bustling about, making sure everything is perfect.
He feels a tiny spark of warmth in his chest at the thought of having someone in his life that would do that.
Sebastian’s pulled from his thoughts by the sound of a high, sweet voice a few yards away, shouting Kay’s name. He and Kay turn, and at the bottom of the courthouse steps, holding onto her father’s hand, is Trucy Wright. She looks lovely, dressed in blue with a sparkly ribbon tying back her hair. She shriek’s Kay’s name again and bolts up the stairs, throwing her arms around Kay’s waist.
“Whoa there, Trucy-fruit,” Kay laughs, taking a step back. “You’re gonna knock me over!”
Trucy giggles, a sweet, pure sound like ringing bells. She’s just shy of ten years old, her birthday creeping up on the horizon. She beams up at Sebastian with those big blue eyes, still hugging Kay like her life depends on it, and grins. “Hi, Sebastian,” she says shyly. “You look so handsome!”
He flushes a little, fidgeting with his gloves. “Thank you, Trucy. You look really nice too.”
“Thank you!” Trucy releases Kay so she can spin, letting her blue dress billow around her. “Daddy let me get a new dress. It has a secret pocket on the inside where I was gonna sneak in doves, but Uncle Miles said no.” She pouts a little. “I don’t know why, ‘cause every important event is better with doves.”
Kay snorts. “Yeah, what’s up with that? He should’ve let you bring the doves.”
“Well…thank you for the thought,” Sebastian says politely, a smile tugging at his lips.
Trucy grins ever wider. “That’s what counts!” She says, winking at him. “Oh, there’s Daddy.”
Mr. Wright crests the final step, putting a hand to his chest. “Man, those stairs do not get easier on an old man,” he says, blowing out a puff of air. He looks a lot better than Sebastian has ever seen him, changing his usual tracksuit for a more formal button-up shirt and slacks, though he’s still wearing his blue beanie. Seeing Sebastian looking at him, he cracks a crooked smile. “You ready for your big day, kiddo?”
“I think so,” Sebastian replies, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice.
Mr. Wright chuckles. “Hey, don’t look so nervous, kid. This whole shebang,” he says, gesturing to the courthouse, “is just like riding a bike. You’re gonna hop back on and be riding easy before you know it. And better than you were before.”
Sebastian blinks at him. “I never learned how to ride a bike.”
“…Oh. Really? Huh.” Mr. Wright rubs at the back of his neck. “Well…alright then. In that case…” he awkwardly pats Sebastian on the shoulder. “I’ll see you in there, champ.”
“Did he just call you champ?” Kay says incredulously, watching Mr. Wright slip through the courthouse doors. Sebastian is too surprised to reply.
Trucy giggles. “Daddy’s weird.”
“So are you!” Kay exclaims, mussing up Trucy’s hair. Trucy sputters a laugh and swats Kay’s hands away.
Then, Trucy falls silent. She looks furtively at Sebastian before turning back to Kay, suddenly acting shy. She tugs on Kay’s sleeve to pull her down to her level; Kay quirks her brows at her but leans down anyway, and Trucy whispers something in her ear. As she does, Kay’s gaze flickers up at Sebastian, a smile flitting across her face. “I think that’s really sweet, Trucy-fruit,” Kay says, as Trucy steps back, “but you should ask Sebby first, okay?”
Trucy nods, and looks at Sebastian again. She peers up at him thoughtfully, her head tilting back (because it’s a long way to look up for a little girl). Instead of tugging on his sleeve, she elects instead to simply wave him down with her small hand. He obliges, crouching so their eye to eye while taking care not to get dirt on the nice slacks Justine got for him. Trucy’s big blue eyes scan his face like she’s searching for something there, and Sebastian wonders over how someone not yet ten years old could be far more perceptive than he ever was when he was seventeen. Kay watches them, leaning up against the courthouse and doing a poor job of hiding her smile behind her hand.
“Can I ask you something?” Trucy asks shyly, then, wringing her small hands together.
Sebastian tilts his head. “What is it?”
Trucy glances at Kay, who gives her an encouraging thumbs up before she turns back. She rocks a bit on her heels. “Can I…give you a hug?”
Sebastian blinks. That isn’t what he’d been expecting at all.
“I know you don’t like being touched…but I’m really happy and excited for you ‘cause it’s your big day and everything,” Trucy continues, in her soft, sweet voice, “and I asked Kay if it would be okay and she said to ask you.”
There is something warm settling in Sebastian’s chest, a gentle fluttering thing curling around his heart. He smiles, unbidden, and leans back on his heels. “Of course you can,” he says quietly, “if you want to.”
“Really?”
He feels his smile widen. “Really.”
Trucy stares at him for a moment before stepping forward. And then, she gently wraps her small arms around Sebastian’s neck, and he can feel the ghost of her breath against his neck as she buries her face into his collarbone. He’s never been hugged by someone so little before, or anyone other than Kay and Justine, really, but he does his best to hug her back. She doesn’t hug him too tightly, or for too long, and when she pulls back her smile is so bright it could light up a pitch-dark room.
“You’re a good hugger,” Trucy says, smiling.
“Thank you. I think you’re a better hugger, though.”
Trucy giggles, hiding her laughter behind her hand as the courthouse doors open, and Mr. Wright pokes his head through.
“Alright, you crazy cats and kittens,” he says, leaning against the doorframe. “You ready to get this show on the road?”
“Is it…already time?” Sebastian asks, checking his phone.
Mr. Wright shrugs. “You’ve got a few minutes if you want to go piss or something.”
“Daddy!” Trucy says, smacking her father on the knee. “Be nice.”
“What about that wasn’t nice?”
Trucy continues to admonish him as they enter the courthouse, Sebastian and Kay trailing behind the Wrights as they head to the courtroom. The door is open, and Sebastian can hear voices coming from within. He recognizes all of them, and the reality of that slowly begins to sink it like it hadn’t been before.
His first ceremony hadn’t been like this at all. The first time, he’d been sworn in with the rest of his classmates and a smattering of people he didn’t recognize from Themis, people who had all just passed the bar as well (presumably without the influence of their father pulling strings behind the scenes for a laugh. It was an open courtroom, so the public was welcome to fill the gallery and watch the next generation of defense attorneys, judges and prosecutors take the oath. The room was full of the family and friends of other people, all of them strangers to Sebastian, whose own parents were a combination of apathetic and dead. The idea of a private ceremony never really crossed Sebastian’s mind. He’s sure his thoughts at the time were more along the lines of I’m the best, and I want all my classmates to see me receive my badge and wish they were as good as me.
Sebastian cringes a little at that. He…really wishes his reality check might’ve come a little bit sooner so he wouldn’t have to lie in his bed and night and spontaneously remember of all the embarrassing things he did and said during his time at Themis. And after.
But today won’t be like that. Today is different, because today the gallery benches are filled by his family and friends. Not anyone else’s. His.
“I gotta go grab my seat,” Kay says, as Trucy bounds off with her father. She gently punches Sebastian’s upper arm. “You’ve got this, bro.”
“W-what if I stutter?” Sebastian whispers back.
“You won’t. Just talk slow and steady, Seb. You’re gonna be fine.” Kay grins at him, nudging his foot with hers. He’s not sure where he would be without her, this person he’s come to know as his sister in all but the blood that runs through their veins, and he feels the knot in his chest loosen again. “You’ve got this.”
Sebastian swallows. He can feel his heart racing in his chest, can see the few yards of hardwood floor ahead of him leading up to the spot beneath the judge’s bench where he will soon stand, reciting an oath to become a real, official, genuine prosecutor like he’s always dreamed of being. He glances back at Kay, eyes wide. “I’ve got this,” he repeats.
Kay winks at him before heading off to the gallery, picking her way to a seat beside John Marsh, who is tapping away at his phone with a milkshake balanced on his lap. Mr. Wright and Trucy have settled in beside Gumshoe, wearing his nicest trenchcoat, and Franziska, deep in conversation with Mr. Wright’s friend Miss Maya beside her. Mr. Shields catches Sebastian’s eye and tips his hat at him; Sebastian awkwardly waves back.
It’s a small collection of people, but Sebastian doesn’t mind, because they’re all there for him.
His gaze roves around the courtroom, searching for the final two people he’d invited. And there, standing below the judge’s bench, he spots them. In the middle of the room, with her golden gavel, is the person Sebastian worked up the courage to specially ask to swear him in, and when she spots him a smile spreads across her face. Justine is wearing her traditional judge’s robes for the occasion, complete with the pretty cape, and standing beside her is Mr. Edgeworth. His gray eyes follow Justine’s gaze and meet Sebastian’s, and he smiles, too.
Mr. Edgeworth has a lot of different smiles, none of them particularly grand or wide like Kay’s or Trucy’s or Mr. Wright’s. His smiles are subtle, but Sebastian knows this one. It’s a good one. A proud one.
Living under Mr. Edgeworth’s roof with Kay is different from Sebastian’s childhood in many, many ways. He’s experienced a lot of things he never did with his father, one of those being the words I’m proud of you. It’s those words that he sees in Mr. Edgeworth’s smile as Sebastian approaches them, those words that warm him from the inside out.
“Hello, Sebastian,” Mr. Edgeworth says, meeting him by the witness stand. “How are you feeling?”
“…A little nervous.”
“That’s perfectly alright. I was nervous for my swearing-in ceremony, too.”
Sebastian glances at him. “You were?” He can’t imagine Mr. Edgeworth ever being nervous.
“Certainly. People may think it isn’t nerve-wracking since you’ve already passed the bar, but there’s something very official about standing in a courtroom, taking such a serious oath,” Mr. Edgeworth says, nodding towards Justine waiting patiently under the bench. “I hope your nerves are simply about that, and not because you think this isn’t something well deserved.”
He says that last part sternly, crossing his arms over his chest and giving Sebastian one of his Looks. Usually the Looks are reserved for Kay when she’s up to mischief (and rarely Sebastian when he’s caught helping Kay with said mischief).
Sebastian fidgets with his gloves. “No. Kay already yelled at me for that this morning.” Mr. Edgeworth quirks a brow, and Sebastian quickly backpedals. “She didn’t actually yell at me. She just…scolded me. Nicely.”
The corners of Mr. Edgeworth’s mouth lift. “Well, I applaud her for that. You deserve a nice scolding sometimes, Sebastian, when it comes to your self confidence.”
Sebastian’s mouth twitches into a tiny smile. “…I know.”
“Well then,” Mr. Edgeworth says, checking his watch and then the courtroom clock in quick succession as if they might have different numbers and he has to figure out what the real time is based on some combination of the two. “The time is almost here. Are you ready?”
Sebastian glances at Justine, then back at Mr. Edgeworth. He nods, once. “I think so.”
“I’d like a little confidence than that, Sebastian,” Mr. Edgeworth says kindly.
“Okay, um…I am, then. I’m ready,” Sebastian amends. “No, uh, thinking about it.”
Mr. Edgeworth smiles. “Excellent. You know what to do then.”
He gently pats Sebastian on the back before stepping off to the side. He’s staying here on the courtroom floor rather than joining the rest in the gallery, as the official witness to Sebastian’s swearing in. Sebastian glances up at the gallery as he approaches Justine, and Kay waves at him. She sticks her tongue out while he’s still looking; he fights the now instinctual urge to stick his tongue out right back.
The quiet chatter in the gallery falls silent as Sebastian steps up to Judge Justine Courtney, standing there with her golden gavel in hand. His heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest.
Justine smiles up at him. She always has the nicest smiles, pleasant like summer sun. “Hello, Sebastian,” she says warmly.
“Hi, Justine,” he replies, and he cannot help but smile back though his voice is quiet and nervous.
“Are you prepared to take the oath?” Justine asks, lifting her chin. She’s put on her serious voice, but her brown eyes are gentle. She immediately said yes when Sebastian asked her to swear him in, in fact, she even told him that she planned to do it anyway if he hadn’t asked at all. If she wasn’t assigned to him, she told him, she would simply make herself be. I wouldn’t miss this chance for all the world, she’d said.
Sebastian nods, trying to do as Mr. Edgeworth asked and be a little confident, for once. “I am.”
“Wonderful,” Justine says, her smile spreading. “In that case, please raise your right hand and repeat after me.”
Sebastian obeys, lifting his gloved hand. He repeats the oath word for word as Justine says it, solemnly swearing to uphold the law and the search for the truth, and though the words are long and convoluted he’d asked Justine for a copy of the oath beforehand, so he doesn’t stumble once. And when it’s done, he meets Mr. Edgeworth’s gaze from across the courtroom and Mr. Edgeworth inclines his head, a proud smile on his face.
“To all the members of the gallery here today,” Justine says, turning to look at the gallery, “I am pleased and honored to welcome Prosecutor Sebastian Debeste into the courtroom once more.”
And just like that, he’s a prosecutor again.
For real this time.
His heart is racing, pounding against his ribcage so hard it almost hurts. Mr. Wright whistles, a piercing sound and Trucy leaps up from the gallery bench, clapping her small hands together with a smile on her face so wide it reaches her ears. He looks back at Justine, happy in a way that feels wild and uncontrollable, tears, good tears, pricking at the backs of his eyes.
“Justine,” Sebastian says, aiming to thank her or something but his tongue suddenly tangles in his mouth, caught up in the frantic, excited beat of his heart but Justine tilts her head to the side and the look on her face makes him think that she understands; she was always so good at that, understanding him when he couldn’t put together the right words. She steps forward, reaching up, and takes Sebastian’s face in her warm hands and smiles, her brown eyes crinkling at the corners.
“I am so, so proud of you, Sebastian,” she whispers. “You are going to be an amazing prosecutor.”
Sebastian sucks in a breath. He’s not going to cry. He’s not.
And then from behind Justine there’s a loud thud as Kay vaults over the gallery wall and lands on the courtroom floor. She practically throws herself at Sebastian, grabbing him around the waist and hugging him so hard his feet lift off the ground.
“Kay!” Mr. Edgeworth says scoldingly. “Please behave yourself.”
“Absolutely not!” Kay exclaims back. “My brother just became a prosecutor!”
Sebastian wheezes, patting at Kay’s arms so she might let him go before she crushes his lungs entirely. She releases him, stepping back so she can tilt her chin and grin at him so wide it flashes almost all her teeth.
“You did it,” she says brightly, looking up at him with so much pride in her eyes that Sebastian’s breath catches in his throat. “You did it, Sebby.”
He smiles back at her. It’s shaky, he can feel it quivering on his face from tears he’s barely managing to hold back. “I did it,” he whispers back.
There’s a weight on his shoulder as Mr. Edgeworth rests his hand there, and squeezes, ever so slightly. “Yes, you did,” he says. “You should be incredibly proud of yourself, Sebastian.”
And when Sebastian bursts into tears, he’s offered several handkerchiefs and napkins from all the people in the world who love him.
Sebastian Debeste stands in his new office. He likes it: it has a big window where he can look out and see the city if he wants, and it’s at a quiet spot on the floor. He carefully presses the Command Strip to the wall with one gloved finger, making sure it’s as secure as possible before he attaches the picture frame. Once he’s positive it won’t fall down and shatter, he takes a step back, crossing his arms over his chest.
The picture in the glossy black frame is as follows:
Kay, standing on her tiptoes so she can sling her arm around Sebastian’s shoulder, her tongue sticking out. Mr. Edgeworth on his other side, arms crossed, looking at Sebastian with a proud smile on his face. Justine to Mr. Edgeworth’s left, gavel in hand and smiling, her hand on John’s shoulder. Mr. Shields, grinning broadly at the camera, and Gumshoe, halfway through a laugh. Trucy, hugging Sebastian’s legs and grinning so wide her eyes are practically closed, and the very edge of Mr. Wright’s thumb in the shot from where he accidentally covered the camera while taking the picture.
And then Sebastian, in the middle, smiling wider than he’s ever seen himself, with tears bright and sparkling in his eyes.