Chapter Text
“Oh God, what is this?” Virgil asked the second he answered his front door to a sight that had been haunting his dreams for years now.
“Happy birthday!” Remus said like he wasn’t still just a bit pissed about how Virgil had left him to fend for himself in some backwater town. He also said it like he knew it was Virgil’s birthday which was somehow more concerning in that moment.
Virgil turned to glare at the man standing next to Remus. Logan just returned his look with an unconcerned expression. “What the hell is this?” Virgil asked, gesturing between them.
“It’s your birthday celebration!” Remus declared.
Okay.
Virgil slammed the door in their faces. Well, at least he attempted to slam the door in their faces. Logan was too fast for him and managed to stop it with his foot.
“We even checked and made sure you weren’t working tonight,” Logan said casually.
“Well, thanks for the fucking consideration,” Virgil spat back, “but I actually have plans for the night that don’t involve whatever this god forsaken alliance is.”
“Do those plans involve sitting by yourself in the dark watching YouTube conspiracy theories while gorging yourself on an entire chocolate cake you bought from Kroger?”
“Oh my god. Have you been stalking me today?”
Logan tilted his head just slight which immediately told Virgil he’d fucked up even as the man tried his best to hide his smirk. “No, I haven’t been actually,” he said. “It was a theoretical example based on my prior knowledge of your habits.
“Go fuck yourself, Logan.”
“Can I go too?” Remus asked.
“Hush you,” Logan said. “You’re supposed to be on good behavior for Virgil’s birthday.”
“I thought the truce said you were going to be on good behavior on Virgil’s birthday,” Remus said with a grin.
“Leave Virgil and his birthday out of this,” Virgil grumbled. He tried to pull the door closed again. Remus stopped him from breaking Logan’s foot by sticking out his arm.
“No!” Remus said. “It’s your birthday and we have to go celebrate.”
Virgil crossed his arms over his chest. “No.”
“Yes.”
“Nope.”
“Yes!”
“I am not willing letting either of you, let alone both of you, get me to a secondary location.”
Remus and Logan glanced at each other.
“Don’t you dare kidnap me on my birthday,” Virgil said.
“It’s just an Olive Garden,” Logan said.
“You’re trying to take me to Olive Garden for my birthday? What am I, a middle-aged mom?”
“I thought you said he liked Olive Garden,” Remus stage whispered.
Logan rolled his eyes. “He does like Olive Garden.” Which… to be fair: breadsticks. “Are you coming or not?”
“Fuck you.”
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Logan said, reaching forward to pull him out of his apartment.
~~~
Less than 30 minutes later, they were being seated at an Olive Garden. Virgil glared at them both and refused to sit until they got the memo that he, as the birthday boy, would not be crammed into a booth with one of them.
Logan eventually capitulated and took the seat nearest the wall. Remus scooted in after him as the host left.
“You better not have anyone sing to me,” he told them both sternly.
“Of course not,” Logan said idly. “I know you well enough not to do that.”
“Can I sing to you?” Remus asked.
“No.”
“He doesn’t mind it if it’s private,” Logan said, flipping idly through his menu. “He’ll get slightly embarrassed, but he doesn’t mind.”
“Oh, you think you know me so well,” Virgil said snatching up his own menu.
Logan seemed slightly amused by his passive aggressive reading of the menu. “I do know you well, Virgil,” Logan said calmly.
Virgil let himself glance up at Logan and the man practically pinning Logan against the wall for a second before looking back down at his menu. He kept his eyes on it as he casually said for the whole table. “Logan’s neck’s ticklish”
Logan sputtered out a sudden shrill protest, all his pompous calm abruptly lost. “Use that information and I’ll actually try to kill you,” he threatened Remus even though Remus hadn’t moved to react yet.
“Kinky,” was the predictable response.
“Do you have any other joke in your repertoire?” Virgil asked, slapping down his menu. “At all?”
“A few,” Remus replied. “That’s just the most appropriate one for polite company.”
“Fantastic,” Virgil said.
A waiter approached as he spoke with a basket of breadsticks. “Hi,” he said. “Can I get you something to drink?”
“Three strawberry margaritas,” Virgil said.
“Actually, I’m driving,” Remus said.
“And I’m not drinking if he’s not.”
“Did I say I was ordering any of them for you?” Virgil asked them.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the waiter immediately get an awkward look on his face. He mentally sent an apology to the hapless bystander, but he also knew Logan tipped ridiculously well, so they’d probably think it was worth it at the end of the night.
“Virgil, you don’t drink,” Logan said patiently.
“I usually don’t drink, Logan,” Virgil said back. He grabbed a warm breadstick out of the basket in front of himself and took a huge bite out of it, effectively shutting down any argument since he wouldn’t be able to talk.
“I’ll take a root beer,” Remus said. “Logan?” Virgil saw him nudge Logan in the side.
“Water.”
The waiter practically ran away upon receiving their orders. Understandable.
“So,” Remus said in the brief moment Virgil wasn’t chewing bread. He made a popping sound with his mouth. “How’ve you been?”
“Dandy,” Virgil said, proceeding to shove the other half of his breadstick in his mouth.
“You published a short story recently,” Logan said.
“Stalking,” Virgil said through a mouthful of breadstick. Logan wrinkled his nose in disgust.
“It was not stalking,” Logan said evenly. “I just happened to see your name in a horror short story periodical I sometimes read.”
Logan disliked most horror and both of them knew it well. Virgil flipped him off and took a bite out of a second breadstick instead of bothering to respond verbally.
“Well,” Logan said. “Congratulations. It was quite good.”
“A horror story?” Remus asked, looking intrigued. “What type of horror story.”
Virgil swallowed to say, “psychological paranormal,” he said.
“Vampires?”
“Ghosts.”
“Awesome. Can I read it? Where can I find it?”
“It’s public, so I’m not going to tell you not to read it. As for where,” he glanced at Logan. “It seems like you can probably just google my name.”
“It-” Logan started to say. Virgil shoved more bread in his face and Logan closed his mouth again with a sigh.
Virgil was really hoping the waiter came back with those drinks soon before he choked on the breadsticks.
“You also got a job at Burger King. How’s that been?” Remus asked.
Virgil shrugged “The cockroaches are minimal, and I’ve only seen 2 rats since starting, so it’s fine.”
“His knowledge of your activities is not considered stalking?” Logan asked, a bit sullenly.
“Considering I talked to him about a month ago and mentioned where I was working?” Virgil asked. “No.”
That shut him up for a least long enough for the waiter to bring their drinks. Virgil instantly drank about half of his first margarita which, admittedly, wasn’t the best decision, but he’d been thirsty.
The waiter asked if he could take their orders and both Logan and Remus ordered a meal.
“Could I get the Tour of Italy thing?” Virgil asked, “and then an order of chicken alfredo. Just go ahead and wrap that second one up to go.”
“Sure thing,” the waiter said.
Logan raised an eyebrow as the waiter left the table.
“He has a high-profile government job, and you steal for a living,” Virgil said, “I think you’ll financially recover.”
“Fair enough.”
The table was awkwardly silent then until Remus suddenly launched into a detailed description of a (not Logan related) assignment he’d recently been on that involved an arms dealer pretending to be a pastry chef. Virgil did not interrupt him, not having the willpower to keep up his side of any conversation tonight, and Logan seemed to agree. They mostly just listened to him talk while they waited for their meals. Despite his show of ordering three drinks, Virgil ended up only finishing one of them and asked for water when the food came.
Remus eventually steered the conversation back to talking about Virgil’s writing while they ate. He apparently was a genuine horror fan and seemed delighted by Virgil’s description of the story he’d been writing on his last day off.
They ended up having a pretty decent conversation about the topic, though Virgil was aware of Logan’s increasing displeasure at being snubbed by Virgil every time he tried to interject.
“You know,” Logan said, suddenly, cutting Remus off halfway through a word, “I’d thought the two of us had come to an understanding last time.”
Virgil turned to him slowly. “No,” he said. “We made out, slept together,” he turned briefly to Remus, “not like that,” and then turned his attention back to Logan, “you handcuffed me to a chair, and then you disappeared off the planet for 6 months. It was all rather familiar and reminded me, fuck you.”
“I’m on the run from the law,” Logan said. “I can’t just stop by for a visit whenever I want.”
“Sure, but you’ve seen the law,” he gestured to Remus, “enough times recently that the two of you managed to come up with this stupid little birthday kidnapping scheme.”
“I didn’t want you to be alone on your birthday,” Logan said.
“Just every other day out of the year.”
Logan looked surprised for a millisecond before his face went suddenly blank.
The table was quiet for a long moment.
“Fine,” he bit out. “Okay.”
Virgil felt his heart jump with the need to say something to slightly warm the frost that was creeping over the table now, but he forced his mouth to stay closed and looked away.
“Damn,” Remus said, though it seemed more to himself than to either of them. Neither of them acknowledged him.
“How was…” the waiter suddenly said from beside the table, but his voice petered out as he clearly picked up on the mood of the table. “Can I get you anything else?”
“Just the check, please,” Remus said.
The car ride back to Virgil’s place was silent. It made anxiety crawl up his spine, but he didn’t even dare tap his fingers to let off the excess energy.
“Want me to walk you upstairs?” Remus offered when they pulled up outside his apartment complex.
“No,” Virgil said simply.
“Are you s…?”
“Yes.”
He got out of the car and didn’t look back.
Even if he really wanted to.
***
“Well,” Remus said, looking over at Logan after Virgil had disappeared into his apartment complex. “there’s still 4 hours to the truce left. Want to go get drunk together in a park?”
Logan glanced over at him. “Yes.”