Chapter Text
unknown contact
2:48pm
do you think minnie will notice what we’ve done to her office?
3:01pm
i don’t know who the hell minnie is
hope you’re not talking about the animated cartoon mouse
3:01pm
what are you on about, padfoot?
3:02pm
i also have no clue what a ‘padfoot’ is
you’ve got the wrong number
3:02pm
oops sorry!
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moony
3:02pm
moony did you get padfoot’s new number?
3:03pm
yep, why?
moony has sent a contact.
3:03pm
thanks remus
accidentally texted a wrong number!
3:04pm
shit was it bad?
prongs has sent a screenshot.
3:04pm
…
3:05pm
yep, i know. could’ve been worse
they were nice about it though
3:06pm
that was nice?
sure prongs
(and yes, i think mcgonagall will notice what we’ve done to her office)
3:07pm
:) yay
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unknown contact
10:22pm
aren't you the slightest bit curious about who minnie is and what we did to her office?
10:25pm
oh. it's you
and no, not really
unless you did something to daisy duck’s kitchen too
10:25pm
you're hilarious
minnie is my professor
my friends and i moved around all her office furniture
10:26pm
…did i ask?
10:26pm
no, just felt like sharing :)
10:26pm
what a remarkable achievement
you must all be very proud of yourselves
10:27pm
we are, thank you!
wait
was that sarcasm
i’m terrible at detecting it
10:27pm
i can see that
(and yes it was)
10:31pm
while you’re here
mind if i ask what ‘padfoot’ was all about?
10:31pm
not at all!
aww you want to know more
that’s so sweet
it's my best friend’s nickname :)
10:31pm
sweet is probably the last adjective people would use to describe me
but why??
10:32pm
long story short he reminds me of a dog
like one of those big black fluffy ones
cute and cuddly
so… padfoot!
10:33pm
…
i hate that i'm curious about this… but do *you* have a nickname?
10:33pm
well i for one love that you are curious about this
in fact i do!
feel free to ask anything, stranger
i'm an open book
10:33pm
i feel like you should be a closed book when you talk to a stranger over text
but that’s just me
i mean what if i'm a 96 year old man?
10:34pm
and are you?
10:34pm
am i what?
10:35pm
a 96 year old man?
10:35pm
no i am not.
10:36pm
my point exactly
my nickname is prongs btw
10:37pm
i can’t tell which is stupider
padfoot or prongs
10:37pm
excuse YOU
these are carefully crafted nicknames i came up with myself
10:37pm
wow time for the caps lock
im quaking in my boots
yeah i get that
10:37pm
you should be absolutely terrified
they’re real works of art
10:37pm
mhm
10:38pm
but you can call me prongs!
now i have to come up with a nickname for you…
10:38pm
no
please do not
10:39pm
come on, i need a name to call you
could you give me a fun fact about you please?
10:41pm
stranger?
10:44pm
stranger!!! answer me
10:45pm
ooh i’ve got it
what about
sweetiepoo
honeypie
sugarcube
babydoll
10:46pm
no
please no
none of those
cease this torture
10:46pm
you've returned!!
don't worry i sent those to lure you back
10:46pm
god knows where you found those atrocities
10:47pm
i just looked up ‘most cringe pet names’
and sent you a few
you’re welcome :D
10:48pm
i am genuinely frightened of you
10:48pm
could i get a few fun facts?
just to help with the nicknaming process
pleaseee
10:49pm
…fine
just so you’ll stop whatever this is
my favourite colour is purple, i listen to bowie obsessively, i play the violin and my favourite animal is a lion
good enough?
10:50pm
amazing
that’s really cool :)
you’d like my roommate- he’s in love with bowie
thinks he’s a wizard
10:51pm
tell your roommate he’s got good taste
and if anyone was going to be a wizard, it’d be him
10:51pm
will do
and for the big reveal!
your new nickname is…
10:53pm
i'm waiting for the drumroll
10:53pm
…
*drumroll*
10:54pm
claws!
*fireworks erupt in the night sky*
*champagne bottles explode*
going with the animal theme
do you like it?
10:55pm
you are literally the most dramatic person ever
i won’t lie…
it’s not the worst
10:55pm
i beg to differ
my best friend claimed that title years ago
WHAT YAY
10:56pm
it's way better than prongs though ;)
10:56pm
oi! >:(
10:59pm
i've got to go
but it was nice chatting to you
talk soon?
11:00pm
talk soon.
goodnight
11:00pm
night claws
sleep tight
don’t let the bed bugs bite :)
11:00pm
go to sleep prongs
11:01pm
(you too)
---
padfoot
11:01pm
oi prongs
11:01pm
what’s up
and why are you texting me
we’re sitting on opposite sides of the room
11:01pm
i'm not bothered to talk
i just wanna know…
why are you smiling at your phone? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
11:02pm
there is no need to use that emoji
i am not!
11:02pm
you SO are
meet a girl?
or guy?
11:02pm
maybeeeeee
it's just the wrong number i texted
you know, the one i texted when trying to reach you?
11:02pm
james
that is highly dangerous
why are you still texting them
who are they, how old are they, and where do they live?
11:03pm
…
creep
and is it bad that i don’t know the answers to any of the above
11:03pm
scandalous, prongs!
talking to a complete stranger
11:03pm
i know i know
i don’t need to hear it from you
but they’re mean and nice and fun to chat to
11:04pm
mean and nice??
just… be careful prongs
really
okay?
there are so many randos on the internet
11:04pm
i will, pads
thanks for worrying about me
you’re the sweetest :)
11:04pm
shh don’t tell anyone
:)
<3
11:05pm
now can we please talk like normal people
you know, with words?
11:06pm
ugh fine
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unknown contact
prongs has saved unknown contact as claws
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