Chapter Text
“Thank you, Robin, for that…rather graphic hunting story,” Pat said politely, prompting an awkward round of applause from the disturbed audience. Robin took a bow and sat down. Props to the caveman, he really knew how to bring a story to life; everyone’s minds still whirred with the distressing imagery of the savage brutality of hunting.
“What do you do with the rest of the carcass?” Kitty pleasantly asked the caveman with genuine intrigue, flashing him with her trademark smile.
Robin started to gesture with his hands, “Well, we-“. The other ghosts cringed.
“All right!” Pat interrupted with a laugh. “Let’s leave some of that for next week!” he said, knowing fully well that everyone would rather abandon this detailed account about the insides of a wild boar. It was gory enough as it was.
“I do believe now it is Kitty’s turn to share a story!” Pat exclaimed. He moved from the centre of the floor to make space for the lady. Kitty gathered her skirts and ran up to the front as everybody clapped.
“My story for today, is this one,” she gestured to the music sheet stand where a withered, well-thumbed copy of Jane Austen’s ‘Emma’ sat. “I’ve only just started it though, and I need the page to be turned so I can continue”.
“I can sort that out,” Julian stated, he was always happy to help, as he never failed to mention nowadays.
“That’s all right, Kitty,” Pat said. “Tell us about what you’ve read so far”.
Kitty joined her hands and cleared her throat. “Well, it’s about a girl called Emma, and she has a friend called Harriet,” she looked up at the ceiling as she recounted the story, “and Emma is very good at matchmaking; she helped her governess get married, so now she’s finding a husband for Harriet. It’s very romantic”. She looked back at the audience and grinned.
They all waited patiently for her to continue, apart from Julian, who was currently straining to turn the page in the book.
“That’s all I’ve read so far,” Kitty told them. “I’ll tell you more next week”.
The ghosts realised it was the end and hastily clapped for her, and she went to sit down again. Pat came back into the centre.
“Thank you for that short recount of your book. I look forward to hearing more next week,” Pat thanked her. She nodded gracefully and checked on Julian’s progress in turning the page.
“Next week at Story Club,” he continued, “we’ll have part 10 of Thomas’ new romantic saga: ‘Edmund and Henrietta’”. Thomas smiled pridefully. The others sighed and didn’t even try to hide it. Each part of his story took no less than one hour, and it was excruciatingly boring to sit through. They’d grown tired of his dramatics, and nothing put them off the story more than when he did the voices for every individual character.
“Julian will also be sharing a memory from a very exciting-sounding Christmas party,” Pat added.
“Ah yes,” the politician sighed, “that was Christmas ’85. The papers made it sound so boring. ‘Scandal’ this. ‘Outrageous’ that. ‘Disgrace to the country’”. Lady Button rolled her eyes in disgrace. “All a bit of fun really,” he finished.
“I can’t see what’s so fun about being a disgrace to your country,” Lady Button mumbled with disapproval.
“Well said Fanny,” Captain added.
Pat continued his conclusion to today’s Story Club. “And I believe that’s everything on the itinerary for next time. Thank you all for coming and sharing your stories,”. The ghosts started to get up to leave. “Ooh! Before you forget,” he added, “it’s Film Night tonight, and today it’s Kitty's go! Can’t wait to see what she has lined up for us”.
Everyone abandoned their seats and departed to go about their business for the next few hours, all rushing out of the room and leaving it deserted. The final two to go were the Captain and Kitty. She was just about to skip off to go to the gardens to watch the leaves fall off the tress, when he stopped her.
“Catherine?” he asked.
“Yes?”. She turned around and came back into the silent room.
The Captain glanced at the cover of ‘Emma’ on the stand: Two people in a lusty embrace. He waited for the other ghosts' footsteps to fade away entirely before he spoke.
“I, uh, presume you are very interested in the romance genre, are you not?”.
Kitty smiled. “It’s my absolute favourite. Why?”.
“Ah, so you must be an expert, then, in all things about…”, he hesitated for a moment and then pushed the word out, “love”.
Kitty seemed quite pleased with the compliment. “Well, I’m not Jane Austen, but yes, I know lots about love actually”. She waited for him to make his point.
The Captain hummed for a moment. “Can you keep a secret?”.