Chapter Text
STEP ONE: CHERRY KNOTS
“ push it down, and push it in. ”
The drag of smoke from the cigarette was a calming aesthetic for Dan. Leaning against a peeling wall behind the school, Dan let the cigarette smoke drown out all his problematic problems and every other weird mixed emotion he had after school. It was normal after all, for him to be found here smoking a cigarette after school despite countless reminders from wandering prefects and stuck up snobs.
His uniform was untucked and his tie was loosely hung around his neck, a signature look of Dan. His dark brown hair was always ruffled, never unruly, as his hair was naturally curly. A bad-boy vibe emitted from the way he spoke, almost posh but don’t carish, and the way he acted, a couldn’t give a shit attitude to everything. That’s what made Dan Howell the notorious bad boy.
Dan was feared by most guys in the school, except the ones that he had begrudgingly made aquaintances with, for the countless times they have prevented him from getting in trouble with the principal. It was the same group of friends, who weren’t as problematic nor a troublemaker like he was but rather, an eccentric batch. Their names were PJ Liguori and Chris Kendall, at first glance, almost as intimidating as Dan but upon second look, they were as intimidating as butterflies.
Dan has been nagged multiple times by PJ that cigarettes will kill him from the inside but he’d flip PJ’s nagging off with the finger. Chris, however, couldn’t care less about what Dan was smoking – or whatever poison Dan had picked for the day – instead care more about Dan’s mental health and school life. They were great friends, it was a pity Dan didn’t care about what they had to say about him.
PJ found Dan against his favourite wall, and he had playfully nicknamed it ‘Oscar’. He called the alley behind school Oscar’s Hotel, a joke amongst the three. “Hey Dan. I’ve got some news for you.”
Dan inhaled in a long drag of the cigarette, the nicotine kicking in his systems. “What Liguori?” he demanded. He twirled the cigarette in between his fingers, enjoying as the little flames lick the paper slowly.
“Word’s been going around that you’ve shagged Jessica.” PJ explained. “Along with Becky, Susan and Eliza.”
Dan snorted, a bit of smoke coming from his nostrils. “I shagged those girls?” he chortled. PJ gave a nod. “I’m impressed I can garner up such a rumour without even knowing how to kiss.”
PJ couldn’t help but snicker. “You, Dan Howell, don’t know how to kiss?” he giggled. Dan glared at him but it was no where near intimidating because it was true. The school’s notorious bad boy had no idea how to kiss, let alone have sex with anyone.
“You say it like it’s a bad thing.” Dan chastised.
PJ kept his laughter under the wraps. “Sorry mate, but yeah, it is. Even Chris and I had our first kisses already and, we both know how to get the ladies.”
Speak of the devil, Chris appeared by PJ’s side, only catching the last bits of the conversation. “Who has had their first kisses?” Chris queried, slinging his arm loosely around PJ’s shoulder.
“Us, you nitwit.” PJ joked. “Dan hasn’t had his yet.”
Chris, unlike PJ, knew when it was appropriate to laugh and knew when not to piss Dan Howell off. This was a touchy subject Chris didn’t want to get beaten up by Dan for laughing. “Why not?”
Dan exhaled, dumping his cigarette to the ground and rubbing it with the toe of his shoe. “Don’t know.” He shrugged. “It never seemed important until now.”
“What do you mean now?” Chris questioned, looking confused at PJ, demanding an explanation from PJ. PJ briefly explained the rumour situation and Chris couldn’t help but let out a little chuckle. “Nice to know you still can get the ladies, despite not knowing how to bloody kiss.”
“I like to think it’s this brooding, mysterious, bad boy smoker look.” Dan implied, crossing his arms over his chest.
“That’s it. He needs to learn how to kiss.” Chris proposed. “And I know just the person to ask.”
“If it’s going to be some blonde bimbo from the school, no thank you.” Dan remarked, staring at Chris’s mischievous eyes, a lopsided grin curling up his lips.
“Oh I know someone. Go to the abandoned North tower after school, say 4:30 tomorrow.” Chris rattled, writing it onto Dan’s palm with a felt tip pen he had magically produced.
Dan rolled his eyes and curled his palm into a ball. “Fuck you Chris.”
“You’ll thank us.” Chris chirped, walking away with PJ still around him. When the two were out of sight, Dan looked down at his palm, Chris shitty handwriting scrawled onto his palm. It was smudged when Dan curled his fist but he could still make out the words.
NORTH TOWER, AFTER SCHOOL- 4:30
* * *
Being a rebel came naturally to Dan, and so meeting this mysterious student who would teach him how to kiss, Dan decided he would be purposely ten minutes late because he couldn’t give a shit, really. This must be one way of Chris embarrasing him. Dan delibrately walked two rounds near the bottom of the tower, smoking a cigarette before dragging his feet up the stairs to the top of the abandoned North Tower.
Leaning against the tower’s crumbling brick walls was a tall and lanky boy. His frame was lean, and he was busy chewing on something to look up at Dan when he entered. His raven coloured hair swept across his forehead and he had trimmed his hair to an identical fringe like Dan’s, except his swept over his right mismatched eyebrow. There were black glasses perched on his nose and in Dan’s mind, he was so ready to murder Chris once he left this tower.
“You must be Dan.” The boy spoke, his blue eyes with green and yellow flecks staring up to Dan’s.
“One and only.” He replied, with a hint of snark in his voice.
“So you’re the one behind the rumours,” the boy began, taking a closer step. Upon closer look, the boy was almost the same height as Dan, his frame just smaller than Dan’s and his uniform at least neatly tucked in. “And yet he has come here to learn how to kiss?”
“Trust me, I didn’t want to.” Dan clarified, folding his arms. “So are you going to get on or what?”
The boy chuckled. “The name’s Phil Lester if you cared. And yes, let’s get on.”
Dan, unable to control his tongue, blurted, “Are you gay?”
Phil chortled. “I would consider myself sexually ambiguous but hey, whatever floats your boat Howell.”
“I mean,” Dan coughed, trying to regain back his don’t care attitude. “You are right? You wouldn’t be teaching me how to bloody kiss if you weren’t!”
“Like I said, whatever floats your boat Howell.” Phil repeated himself, rummaging through his bag. “Aha!” Phil exclaimed, pulling out a bag of fresh, red cherries.
Dan raised an eyebrow questioningly at the bag of cherries. Why on Earth did this boy had a bag of cherries in his bag? “Why the hell, do you have a bag of cherries?” he quizzed.
“First step of course.” Phil answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “What, you think I would just start kissing you with a snap of your finger?” he asked. Dan couldn’t help but nod meekly. “You’ve got a whole lot to learn.”
“Shut up.” Dan muttered, his cheeks suddenly feeling hotter than usual.
Phil pulled out a ripe, ruby cherry from the bag and chewed it slowly before spitting out the seed into another bag. Dan watched as Phil intently, his pale pink lips stained by the red cherry juice. “First step on learning how to kiss, learn how to tie a cherry knot.”
Dan had never looked more confused in his life. Instead of explaining what a cherry knot was to Dan, he simply began chewing on the stem of the cherry, his mouth moving slowly before he stopped and it looked odd for a second, but what Phil managed to make with his mouth surprised Dan.
It was a perfectly knotted cherry stem.
“How the hell did you do that?” Dan splutted, baffled by Phil’s ability to tie a cherry knot.
“It takes great skill, and someone who is a great kisser as well.” Phil answered, popping another cherry into his mouth and discarding the knot aside. They sat down on the cold floor and a bag of cherries sat in between them. “Well, what are you waiting for? Pick up a cherry, and chew.” Phil instructed.
Dan picked up a small cherry and finished the fruit before spitting the seed out into the same bag Phil spat his seed into. The hard stem sat in his tongue as he looked at Phil for instructions on how to tie a knot. This being commanded by Phil ticked Dan off but Dan couldn’t do anything but listen.
“You just chew the stem slowly, until it becomes soft, then with your tongue, push it down and push it in.” Phil instructed, chewing the stem slowly, and working the magic with his tongue before producing another perfectly tied knot.
A chuckle escaped Dan’s lips. “Push it down and push it in.” he mimicked Phil’s innuendo, chewing on the stem. As the bitter juices came from the cherry’s stem, Dan grimaced for a second, not accustomed to the bitterness but it soon passed once the stem became soft.
As his tongue tried to push the stem downwards, let alone form a knot, the stem broke before Dan could even form a knot. Dan spat out the knot angrily and picked up another cherry.
Cherry after cherry, both their hands went in and out of the bag, fishing out a cherry and chewing it. A small pile of cherry knots began growing next to Phil but there was nothing coming from Dan. Dan was getting frustrated, he knew it, but frustration seemed to make the cherry stems break faster until Dan snapped.
“Fucking cherry knots and fucking kissing lessons!” Dan swore angrily, throwing the God knows how many broken cherry stem to the ground. Phil didn’t seem fazed by Dan’s outburst, instead, he continued chewing the cherry. “God damn it Phil, this is a fucking joke!”
Phil raised an eyebrow and licked his lips. “It means you suck at kissing.”
Like an impulse, Dan grabbed Phil by the collar of his shirt and pulled him up, making sure Phil was face first to hm. “Say that one more time.” Dan growled threateningly.
“You suck at kissing.” Phil repeated without missing a beat in his voice. Dan was about to fling Phil against the stone wall but he didn’t. Something in him really wanted to learn how to tie a cherry knot, just to show to Phil fucking Lester that he was a good kisser.
Dan exhaled slowly. “Yes that is true.” He admitted grudgingly putting Phil down. “You’re suppose to teach me anyways.”
“You didn’t ask for tips.” Phil chirped, sitting back onto the stone floor in which Dan copied.
“Fuck you Lester.”
“You can dream.”
And after countless cherries, nearly a whole bag guzzled by the two boys, Dan finally managed to produce one cherry knot; and Phil with God knows how many.
Walking home, there was only one thing on Dan’s mind. How he fucking hated cherries now.
* * *
a/n: hello hello! this is my attempt at a short phanfic this fic will be a five part short phanfic, hope you guys like it aye! send me your thoughts on this first part, don’t worry, I don’t bite ;) it’ll mean the world if you sent me your thoughts and even art if you’d like!! xoxo