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The 20-year-old was jumping in his seat, barely containing his excitement, as the train approached his station. His duffle bag was in front of him, full of clothes to last him a few days. He never really packed much when he had to go on vacation somewhere.
He grinned as he remembered that he would be staying with Handa for the next few weeks of his break from uni. They hadn't seen each other in two years, keeping in contact only through video calls and texts. It was very stressful at the beginning, when Matsuno first moved to Australia to study zoology. He had been ecstatic, but when he realized he wouldn't see his best friend anymore, it took everything in him not to cry. Even after Raimon, they had gone to the same high school and played soccer together. They also volunteered at the local animal shelter together, always at the same time. They'd go on hikes to adventure parks, new stores, cafés, and food joints. Sleepovers happened at least once a month. Rare were the times when they were apart. So of course it hit them both hard when they ended up going to different universities, especially when one of those universities was in Australia of all places.
Matsuno and Handa had a tearful parting at the airport, with Handa skipping a shift at his part-time job just to see him off. They promised to call, text, and send each other gifts for every holiday and birthday, but they never got to meet in person in two years. Too many things were keeping them from doing so.
But now, mid-term break happened for Matsuno, and Handa had his summer break at the same time. They could finally meet up and have fun like they used to. Or at least, try and have it.
Two years were both a short and long time when you're maturing. Matsuno didn't really think he changed at all, but what if Handa had and he just didn't notice it?
He stopped squirming in his seat for a moment. He honestly didn't know how he'd act if Handa ended up being different. Handa and he always got along. What if, now, that wouldn't be the case? What if he got on Handa's nerves? He frowned. Surely not. Handa didn't seem more annoyed with him than usual. Which was to say little to none. It was more of a fond annoyance.
But Matsuno wouldn't know what he'd do if he were to be without Handa completely. They were best friends. They had each other's backs. He was Matsuno's favorite person in the whole world. He would break, probably.
His heart would break if the one he loved the most left him.
But he'd have to see. Maybe he was worrying for nothing. Sometimes he had these insecurities, and Handa immediately disproved them during their next conversation. He still had that fond look, warm and encouraging in his shenanigans. Laughing with him freely, not forced at all. And it was the most beautiful laugh Matsuno had ever heard. His giggles and snickers were cute, too. When he tried to hide the way certain things entertained behind his hand, his nose would srunch up in that adorable way of his. It was all too much for Matsuno sometimes.
And he wanted to confess all this to Handa. But Handa was as straight as a wooden ruler. He wouldn't like Matsuno back like that. So he guessed he'd have to stay best friends.
And, most of the time, that was enough for him.
Matsuno jumped out of his thoughtful daze when the speaker on the train announced his stop. His previous worries were put in the back of the drawer of his untidy mind for now. He grinned as the train started slowing down. Grabbing his dufflebag, he ran to be the first one out the door.
The moment the doors opened, he ran through the crowd towards the outside front of the train station. To where Handa said he'd be waiting
And there next leaning on a gray car was Handa. Matsuno grinned at the sight of him. “Handa!”
The brunette looked up from where he was scrolling on his phone and grinned back. He barely took three steps forward before a wild Matsuno nearly knocked him off his feet in a tight hug. Handa laughed as he wrapped his arms around his friend.
“Don't break my back on our first meeting,” he said, his eyes a bit teary at finally holding Matsuno again.
“Don't be a weak ass and stand your ground,” the cat hat owner said, tears of his own already falling down his face.
They probably hugged more than was socially acceptable, but they really didn't care.
Handa was the first one to pull back, thinking they should probably go somewhere where they would have more privacy to reconcile. He patted Matsuno on the shoulder and took his duffle bag from him. “C'mon. We can talk more at my place.”
Matsuno grinned. “A place and a car, huh? How rich you are.”
Handa chuckled and rolled his eyes. “Ah yes, the struggles you meer peasants have. WIth no access to either.” He opened the back door of his car to put the bag in. “It's all rented, though, so I'm probably an imposter rich.”
The redhead snorted. “Yeah, no shit. A gray Suzuki Celerio?” He got into the passenger seat. “No Honda Civic for the Handa Civilian?”
Handa, who had just sat down in the driver's seat, burst out laughing. “I was waiting for when you'd make that joke.”
“You knew?!” he gasped. “Oh god! I'm becoming predictable!”
The poor driver would never catch his breath. “You? Predictable? Now you're just trying to get me to die laughing."
They were both grinning and laughing the whole way to the apartment, quickly getting used to each other's physical presence again.
“Come on, Handa!” Matsuno whined as he dragged his friend towards the next ride. The young man had only been there a day, and jet lag was killing him, but oh boy did he want to spend every waking moment with Handa. He wasn't sure when they'd be able to do anything together again, so he'd have to make every moment count.
Just last night, they shared a room and slept on the floor like when they were young, in a not-so-shabby pillowforth. They probably made better pillowforths when they were younger. But it was great nonetheless. Matsuno was beaming when Handa agreed to make it. He really didn't have to worry about Handa being so different after all.
And now they were at an amusement park, having been there since ten in the morning, simply because Matsuno wanted to try everything. And that meant everything.
Which included the biggest and scariest rollercoaster Japan had to offer.
“I am not going on that deathtrap!” Handa was trying to get himself free from his grip, but the cat lover was stronger than he looked. “Put me in a body bag first so the ambulance won't have to worry about it later.
Matsuno rolled his eyes. “You're being overdramatic.”
“Am not!”
“He says while holding on to a street lamp for dear life in an attempt to get away from my hold.” Matsuno pointed at Handa's arm and leg, which were indeed doing just that.
Handa laughed sheepishly as he slowly untangled himself. He pointedly ignored Matsuno's stare and the weird looks the passersby were giving him. Looking at the ground, he said, “Okay, maybe a bit dramatic.”
Matsuno snickered at his friend. “Okay, how about we go where you want? I've been leading us the whole day.”
“Well, seeing as we already did everything from the haunted house to the water ride, the only thing left is the Ferris wheel." Handa gestured in the direction of it, his cheeks still red.
The cat lover frowned. “That's a bit slow, don't you think?” His eyebrows lifted when he saw that Handa was disappointed in his words.
“Right, it was a lame idea anyway,” Handa said.
“I mean, we can go!” Matsuno tried to backtrack. “We basically did everything I wanted here. We should do yours, too!”
Handa chuckled. “It's fine. It's boring anyway, huh?”
“If you wanna go, we go!” Matsuno grabbed Handa again and dragged him, this time to the Ferris Wheel. “Ain't no choice!”
“Stop refrencing tiktoks. I'm begging.” The brunette laughed. “This is the seventh time today!"
It didn't take long before they got to sit in their seats. It was just the two of them in the cabin, being the last ones in line. They sat opposite each other, smiling softly at each other. Matsuno leaned back in his seat, hands behind his head.
“You know, maybe this won't be so bad. Just sit down, talk, and enjoy the view,” he said as the Ferris wheel started moving.
Handa hummed. “Yeah. A bit of calm before you drag me to the next adrenaline rush.”
“Hey, it's your own fault for not wanting to try anything exciting.”
“I'm already friends with you. That's excitement enough,” Handa said. And Matsuno thought he noticed a small blush on his cheeks. Though he didn't know why he would be blushing.
They were almost at the top, talking mostly about what they'd be doing for the next few days, so it wasn't overly spontaneous. Sometimes, a bit of planning was appreciated. They'd definitely go to Rairaiken one day for food, and a cheezy rom-com movie night was a must. A meet-up for soccer with Endou and some others who were free was going to happen as well. Endou himself had planned it. They'd meet up with Kageno for a coffee one day and see how the guy was at his own uni. For the evening, though, they decided that a bit of junk food and drinks at home with board games was a must. They'd pick up the food and drinks on their way home.
“Holy...” Matsuno suddenly leaned toward the window. Handa followed his gaze and understood why. It was time for sunset. The soft, warm hues were waving at them from the horizon. “Okay, yeah. Slow is good. Look at that!”
Handa chuckled before returning to look at Matsuno. He wanted to say something, but his breath caught in his throat. The colors of the sunset reflected perfectly over Matsuno, making him seem so unreal. At least in Handa's eyes.
But the cat lover didn't notice anything. He was oblivious to Handa's look. He only noticed something when he heard the click of a phone camera going off. He turned to Handa and saw him pointing the phone at him. “Oooh! Let me see!”
Handa blushed again but gave him the phone.
“Wow! I actually look good.” Matsuno looked at the picture, blushing now. The lighting made it look almost romantic and loving. The orange light surrounded him like a halo, while the pinkish hue gave a nice blush to his face. His black eyes seemed to glow in the light.
“You always do,” Handa mumbled.
The blush deepened a bit. “Thanks.” He punched Handa lightly on the shoulder as he gave the phone back. “You're not so bad yourself.”
They were both blushing then.
They didn't really talk after that; they just sat in silence as they looked at the sunset. Sometimes stealing glances at one another. Whenever their eyes would meet, they'd either immediately look away or smile awkwardly at each other.
It went like that until they were almost done and back at the bottom. That's when Handa sighed.
Matsuno looked at him, worried. “Everything okay?”
“Um, yeah. Just...” Handa bit his lip. Then he took a deep breath. “Max, I um... Wanted to ask something?”
“Oh, sure,” Matsuno said. “You can ask me anything."
“Well, um...” Handa wasn't able to say anything. The courage he was gathering up vanished.
“Take your time,” Matsuno said when he noticed how nervous his friend was.
“I just...” Handa winced. “I was wondering... what... food you wanted to take... for home.” He seemed to sit back, defeated, as if he had failed.
Matsuno frowned. “Well, I was thinking kaarage and monjayaki, but if you want anything else?”
“No, that sounds good,” Handa said, a small smile on his lips.
The ride ended soon, and they had to get off. Outside, on the way to the car, Matsuno looked at Handa. “Was that all you wanted to ask?”
Handa grimaced. “Yeah. It was... Let's just go.”
Matsuno wasn't so sure it was, but he followed his friend anyway, not mentioning it again.
A few hours later found them with beer (non-alcoholic for Handa), playing a game of Tic-Tac-Toe.
A drunk Matsuno playing Tic-Tac-Toe was the funniest thing Handa had ever seen. At this point, he had sworn at every one of Handa's family members, their pets, their plants, and even their plushies, as well as told Handa to get hit by a Honda Civic at least 10 times. In all honesty, Handa lost count of how many times Matsuno should have cleaned his mouth with soap.
And Handa had even started using the same technique for the last 20 games. Matsuno wasn't catching on at all. It was getting old.
“Can we play something else?” asked Handa, ready to throw the paper away himself.
“Not until I win!” Matsuno shouted. Handa facepalmed. He literally tried to let him win in the last game, and he still lost!
“Okay, no.” Handa grabbed Matsuno's pencil, put away the papers full of their rounds to throw away in the morning, and took away Matsuno's half-finished bottle of beer. “I think that's enough.”
Matsuno pouted. “But Handa! I nea-, near-ALMOST! Got it!”
“What you got is a hangover waiting for you in the morning.” The brunette patted the redhead on the head and gave him a glass of water. “Drink that and get ready to sleep. We also have a lot to do tomorrow.”
Matsuno did as he asked. He drank the water, but when he tried to get up after, he swayed on his feet. Handa had to catch him. Matsuno's head was pressed against Handa's collarbone, his arms on his chest, while Handa's arms were around him. They were very close.
Matsuno looked up and came nose to nose with Handa. Both of them blushed at the proximity. Handa cleared his throat and pulled back, steadying Matsuno on his feet.
“C'mon. I'll help you to the bedroom.”
“Thanks,” Matsuno mumbled, still blushing.
They got to the guest bedroom with only one plastic decoration falling over. Handa helped him sit down on the bed and was ready to let him just manage himself to sleep. He turned only a bit when a hand stopped him. Handa turned back to see Matsuno looking at him with pleading eyes.
“Can you stay a while? A bit of late-night drunken talk." Matsuno asked.
Handa smiled. He couldn't say no to that. So he laid down on the bed next to Matsuno (it was a tight fit). They started off turned to the ceiling, but gradually turned to each other so they were lying on their sides. They talked about anything. Exams, friends, favorite places, and how Handa should visit Australia next time. All things they always talked about but never got annoyed with, no matter how much they repeated the subject. Because it was the other that talked about it, and they could never be annoyed or bored with each other. They'd always be able to laugh and smile and simply feel at peace with each other. No matter what topic it was.
The topic they were discussing next, somehow, turned to significant others.
“I highly doubt no one has a crush on you,” Matsuno said through a yawn.
“I'm the most boring guy in the course, probably.” Handa was drawing patterns on Matsuno's arm absentmindedly.
“When you have me as your best friend? Please!” The hat wearer pouted. “You're the most interesting person there.”
Handa chuckled. “Thanks. And you? No one caught your eye?”
“Meh, no one there is half as interesting as you.” Matsuno had a faraway look in his eyes. “No one wanted to put up with me either. I was too energetic and too blunt. Not exactly the type everyone wants.” He got back into the moment and poked Handa's nose. “You're still stuck with me.”
And Handa's tired brain didn't have time to think about what he said next. “I love being stuck with you.”
Matsuno blinked a few times. Handa as well. And then they both went red a bit. Matsuno softly punched Handa's shoulder.
“You sure know how to make a guy feel special,” he mumbled softly.
Handa looked at him. It was now or never, really. “I would like to always make you feel special.”
Matsuno tensed, he wasn't sure if this was going where he thought it was going. He laughed nervously. “What you mean?”
The brunette took a breath before he started speaking. “What I mean is that I'm glad you don't have a significant other. For years now, I've been thinking of a way to say this, but I guess I'll just say it.” He looked into Matsuno's eyes, dark brown staring into black. “Max. I... We've known each other for so long. You've made me happy so many times, making me laugh and smile even on the worst days. You feel like the sun after the storm to me. You're just... Your everything made me fall in love with you so many times. And I would really love to have these moments with you more. I... I do care if you don't reciprocate my feelings, but... I won't be mad at you if you don't. I'll respect you, and our friendship will not change.” He finished the confession by grabbing a hold of Matsuno's hand. He held it gently but firmly in his own, waiting for a response.
Matsuno blinked. Handa realized it probably wasn't the best idea to say it while he was drunk and sleepy. Before he could say anything, Matsuno sprang upright in the bed, their hands still connected.
“Wait! You love me?” Matsuno nearly shouted.
Handa blushed. “I always have."
The redhead lowered himself back to lay down slowly. “Holy...”
Handa smiled sadly. “Hey, if you don't feel the same, that's fine. I'll move on.”
The next moment, Matsuno's head snapped at him, a horrified look on his face. “You abso-fucking-lutely will not!” He pinched his friend on the arm. “Give me a minute to take in what you said. I'm half drunk, man!”
“Okay,” Handa said, biting his lip as he waited patiently.
It was a few seconds later that Matsuno started laughing. Handa frowned at it. He knew Matsuno wasn't the type to laugh at anyone for saying how they feel for someone, nor was he the type to harshly reject you either. He was just... blunt as he said. So this moment of laughter confused the young man.
“Max?”
“Sorry, sorry! I'm laughing at myself, I promise!” Matsuno said it through fits of giggles. “I thought you were straight.”
Handa blinked once, twice. Then he snickered at the thought. “Yeah, as a U-turn.”
They both started laughing completely at the (probably lame to everyone else) joke. They were turned to each other again, foreheads close, hands still woven together. The other hands were suppressing their giggles. Their eyes were only on each other through the whole laughing fit. When it did end, though, their foreheads pressed together.
“You love me...” Matsuno whispered, a grin on his face.
And Handa started to feel even lighter. “Yeah.”
“Well um...” He bit his lip. The confession, while easy to say now, still got stuck in his throat. “Me... me too. You. Um... I mean.” He breathed in. He wanted to say it right. “I've always loved you, too.”
Handa smiled gently, squeezing his friend's (hopefully more now) hand. “That's great.”
Their foreheads were still touching. Their eyes were still locked in a loving gaze. Hands were interlocked, the other hand was on the other's cheek. And faces were leaning in closer. Matsuno thought this might be the day he finally had his first kiss.
But then Handa stopped it by holding a finger to his lips. Matsuno whined, confused.
“I'm not kissing you while you're half drunk and stink of alcohol,” Handa said.
“But Handa.” Matsuno whined over Handa's finger.
Said man chuckled. “We can kiss in the morning after your hangover and after you brush your teeth. Our first kiss deserves to be done right.” He caressed Matsuno's cheek in hopes of soothing his disappointment.
Matsuno pouted but cuddled close to Handa. “Fine. But that means you're my personal teddy bear for every night that I'm here.” He snuggled in better, almost laying on Handa. “You know. Compensation for teasing me.”
Handa rolled his eyes. But he still had a fond smile on his lips. “Oh no. Whatever shall I do?”
“Suffer.”
Laughter escaped the young man. “Sure.” He kissed Matsuno on the forehead. “Good night, Max.”
“Night. Shinichi.”