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Crowley laid in bed, curled up in his abundance of blankets without a single thread on besides underwear. He kept his head covered from the bites of sunlight that leaked into his room, and tried to bask in the silence.
His mind, his body, even his very soul felt tired. Crowley felt an overwhelming sense of exhaustion pool over him and he couldn't find the strength to get up. Everything felt like it was too much, there was so much to do yet such little time and little energy was all he had. He felt like all he could do was lay there for a long time, leaving him feeling useless. At the same time though, Crowley felt an itching desire in his chest for something to fulfill his sensory. He felt so understimulated that it was almost painful for him.
A soft knock at the door brought him from his mental dwelling, and he quickly recognized it. Crowley took in a deep breath to yell "Come in!" In a weak and wobbly tone. After that, he heard a concerned, delicate voice from his doorway calling his name.
"Crowley? I thought we were going to be in my shop today but you didn't come in!" Aziraphale looked around the apartment for a moment, trying to look for where Crowley's voice came from. Processing the directions of sound was so tricky for him even in a small area.
"Fuck!" Crowley thought to himself, feeling a sense of hatred crawl along his spine. He had forgotten he and Aziraphale were going to watch a movie while the shop was closed. Crowley grabbed at his hair and squeezed at the strands, suddenly overwhelmed with a flurry of emotions. Once he felt a significant amount of pain, he sighed and felt some relief. A second later, Crowley heard the door to his room open. He peered over his blankets, seeing a stubby angel with bright white hair that looked like a halo in his doorway.
"Oh! Are you okay, dear? Did I intrude on anything private? I'm so sorry, I'll be-" Aziraphale had a moment of anxiety as he grabbed the doorknob to leave, only to be stopped by an unusually timid voice. "No, don't leave!" Crowley pleaded and sat up quickly, holding up a blanket to hide his upper body. Aziraphale froze and looked at him with worry, "Is something wrong?"
Crowley didn't know what he looked like right now, but he was sure he looked like a mess feeling how sunken his eyes were and how weak his muscles were. He stuttered and mumbled for a moment, "MnnghhI'm.. I forgot about today. I've been laying here for who knows how long, I'll get dressed and-"
"My dear boy, you've been laying in here for how long?"
".. A while, since our last date I think, I can't remember." Crowley actively avoided eye contact as he made a confused and tired expression on his face. It hurt to even think about how many days had passed by.
Aziraphale examined Crowley closely and scanned his eyes over him. Crowley looked as if he had fallen again. He stood up straight and fidgeted with the buttons on his jacket, trying to think. That moment of silence made Crowley even more uncomfortable with how Aziraphale was looking at him, and he felt like Aziraphale was going to lecture him on forgetting something that Aziraphale had carefully built his weekly schedule around.
"Are you having a burnout?" Aziraphale asked after he looked through his mental dictionary. If he wasn't so proper and stuck up on the names of things, he'd be very lost at the moment.
"Um," Crowley looked down and messed with the fabrics on his bed. "'Dunno, Probably. it just feels like I went down like a lead balloon." His voice was quiet as he talked. Crowley and Aziraphale had gotten better on the whole 'talking about your feelings' thing, yet sometimes it was hard to muster up the courage for it. Crowley now felt very confused about his emotions and how they even worked. Aziraphale let out an understanding hum and took another moment to think about what to do. He has completely forgotten about what they were supposed to do today.
"Do you need to squeeze?" Aziraphale asked in a slight prim tone.
".. Whhhuh?" Crowley looked at him with an exaggerated, confused expression. Compared to Aziraphale's calm face, he was a bit silly-looking.
Now it was Aziraphale's turn to look away from his gaze. "It's just," Aziraphale grabbed at the end of his sleeve and tugged at it, trying to keep his hands calm, "I notice when you are overstimulated, you tend to squeeze. You squeeze on my hands and arms, and maybe squeezing in your bed could help you feel not like a lead balloon?" He clasped his hands together and kept his eyes away, his anxiety rose as if he made a mistake trying to help, "Sensory seeking is normal and can be helpful, even if you are understimulated. It can make things feel normal and balanced, and-"
"Yes, yes, angel. I'd like to 'squeeze'." Crowley cut Aziraphale off (Not with mean intent, but to not overwhelm him.) and sighed. He rubbed his eyes and Aziraphale felt the weight of his gaze lift off. Crowley lifted his blankets to the side, inviting Aziraphale to sit on his bed. He took a moment to pull his shoes off and then his jacket, hanging it on the doorknob carefully. He walked up to the bed and sat down on the edge of it. Crowley patted the space next to him to tell him it was fine, and Aziraphale scooted closer to him after he got the nonverbal okay.
Crowley looked at him up and down for a moment, "Is it okay if you take off your clothes? Your clothes are unbelievably itchy sometimes." Aziraphale took a second before going "Ah," and promptly unbuttoned his vest, shirt, and pants and pulled them all off. Of course, he folded them all neatly and set them on the small bedside table. "Is this alright?" He looked at Crowley with a bit of pink on his cheeks. Seeing each other's skin wasn't new to them at this point, but it was still a bit flustering.
Crowley nodded, let out a faint hum, and leaned into Aziraphale's side, immediately taking in the feel of his soft skin and white hair that trailed around Aziraphale's body. He slithered his arms around him and started pulling him into the bed. Aziraphale pulled the blanket over both of them, and held Crowley in his arms gently. Even though Crowley was a feared demon, he had some fragile points to him that Aziraphale never dared to even try and break.
"Is this okay?" Aziraphale asked in a whisper when Crowley snuggled his head into his neck and wrapped his limbs all around him. Crowley nodded yet again and basked in the warmth for a moment.
Crowley started squeezing his arms around Aziraphale's back and his legs around his waist. He felt a sense of relief wash over him, but it just wasn't enough to shake this overarching dread of emptiness in his chest.
Crowley whispered "Can I-" and was quickly cut off by Aziraphale. "Go ahead, I don't mind."
Crowley cuddled himself around Aziraphale even more and used some of his strength to squeeze even more, he let out a content hum and buried his face in between Aziraphale's shoulder and neck.
"'M sorry about today. I'll make it up to you." He murmured loud enough for Aziraphale to understand what he said. "It's okay my dear, but please contact me next time if you can." Aziraphale kissed the top of Crowley's head and rubbed his back in the way he knew Crowley loved.
Crowley felt a sudden sense of balance. All he could focus on was the feeling of Aziraphale's skin against his, and how warm he was compared to Crowley's cold-blooded body. The lead balloon slowly started to float again in his chest.
"Can we stay like this? For a little longer?"
"For however long you like."