Chapter Text
“Sirius” Lily softly said, looking up from her book. She shook her leg to wake the shaggy black dog asleep with his head resting on it.
“Sirius” Lily said more sternly this time when all he did was roll over next to her on the bed. Sirius finally sat up and changed back, crossed his legs and pouted.
“What?”
“Remember how I have a sleepover with the girls every two months?”
“How could I forget?” Sirius chuckled thinking about how excited Lily always got about them, running up and down the hallway of their little two bedroom apartment trying to pack. She would smile to herself the whole time.
“It’s at our place this month.” Lily said, beaming ”Tomorrow actually. Alice has been so busy with Neville and Marlene with her matches and practice, but now they’re gonna be here.”
“Oh,” Sirius smiled ”Then don’t you worry lily flower I'll be out of your hair. I have some sketches I still need to work on and my Walkman. You won’t even know I'm here.”
“Oh sure, you’ll do that,” Lily said sarcastically, annoyed by the nickname. Mary, having gotten absolutely sloshed at one of their house parties, had called her that one time. Sirius refuses to let her live it down.
She actually felt a little bad. To think that Sirius would have to sit in his room all alone. James had practice with his team the next morning and Remus had the morning shift at his cafe. Peter was in Europe for his photography expedition, as he called it. Sirius would have to hear the chatter and music through the walls. They’d found out how thin the walls were when Remus slept over with Sirius. Lily had feared that Sirius would be a menace as usual and orchestrate a prank. She hadn’t considered something worse-he’d hole himself in his room and feel excluded.
“You could join us," She suggested tentatively.
Sirius stared at her. “Really? But isn't it like, er- a girls only thing?”
“No, Frank had come along once. I don't think the girls will mind, really. They like you anyway.”
“Oh”, Sirius said, his smile growing smug, “Then I guess I’d like to join you. And of course they like me, everyone does.”
“Now now. Delusion doesn't look pretty on you.,” Lily chastised and ducked as Sirius shot a pillow at her head.
They’d never been the closest friends at Hogwarts. Though there was no hostility between the two, they simply deemed each other too different. They still weren't the best of friends after graduating. Then James suggested they move in together when Sirius's tattoo shop and Lily's potions workshop were conveniently close to an apartment. It was too good of a deal to pass-up. Now after a year of chaos Lily had a pretty home, only half the rent to pay and a barely sane roommate. Lily didn’t mind living with him as much as she thought she would. She had actually grown to adore him, as much as she hated to admit.
It was undeniable that Sirius was fun to live with, no matter how loud and hyperactive he got sometimes. He had a thoughtful and perceptive side. Plus he was the best at giving presents.
Their first month together had been awkward to say the least. They were both polite but mainly closed off with one another. On weekends they would all usually go out in groups depending on everyone’s availability. But between Lily's early mornings, busy schedules till she finally crashed after dinner and Sirius's late night shifts, sleeping in everyday till he went to his tattoo shop, they barely had time to spend together, just the two of them.
Then one night when Sirius came home to a sobbing Lily with her mother's letter in her lap, he held her in his arms and stroked her head till she calmed down. Something about how her sister Petunia was engaged to some muggle. Lily said when they were kids the had promised to be each other's maid of honor. They stayed up till sunrise and Sirius told her about his own brother Regulus and their bigoted pureblood parents, may they never rest in peace, and how Regulus and Sirius were thick as thieves when they were kids. That ended when Sirius ran away from home because his parents found out he was gay. After Regulus inherited the family fortune he spent his days travelling the world. Sirius never reconciled with him. When Sirius left his parent's house at fifteen, he never saw him again. Lily listened and told him how Petunia and her were best friends once. After Lily went to Hogwarts and Petunia didn't, and the jealousy turned to hatred that only got worse when Lily started dating a woman. Petunia pretended she never had a sister.
Sirius told her that sometimes, people grow apart. Sometimes it's just not meant to be. It's not her fault. If anything it's her sister's. She sounded horrible to him anyway. He made fun of Petunia’s fiancé, his absolute unit of a moustache and neck, or well the absence of it, till Lily finally laughed. After that they couldn't help but be friends.
They developed a little routine and left notes to each other everyday, Sirius always drawing large paw prints and hearts on each of his. On days when they could spend their mornings together they tried actually making breakfast that wasn’t coffee or croissants from the cafe across the street. Lily made pancakes for them as Sirius stood by the side with a spatula and berated Lily for cooking like a muggle. He wasn't actually allowed to flip the pancakes over since that had once resulted in having a pancake stuck to the ceiling only to end up falling on Lily’s face when she looked up. Sirius was banned from the kitchen for a week.
Lily learnt that Sirius liked reading Russian romance novels and narrated the plot to her, complete with his theatrics and impressions of the characters. He supported his boyfriend of five years in his writing career rather extensively, paying full price for them even though Remus insists he doesn't have to. He isn't as much of a bookworm as Lily is, but loves reading. He annotates his books with puns and quips. He loved art with a burning passion, it was downright obsessive. He chose to be a tattoo artist so that people can be his canvas.
It took a while to get to know Sirius. If you did, you'd know that underneath his ego and his facade of narcissism and carefree attitude was a little boy who liked children’s coloring books but would never admit it. He danced in the rain and jumped in puddles. He thrived when he was around his friends. He cried when things got overwhelming. He liked having his hair stroked when he couldn't sleep. He took long showers and used up all the hot water. His favorite song was Good Old-Fashioned Loverboy by Queen because he had serenaded Remus with it when they were fifteen.
He was picky about the people he loved but when he did, he loved fiercely. He was passionate and playful and considerate. He talked with animated gestures when he was happy and was the absolute life of a party, but loud noises got him overwhelmed. He hid in his room when he wanted to escape the world. He acted like a child most of the time and seemed to think annoying Lily was his life’s true calling. He had a quick temper and held grudges for too long. Lily, being someone who made it a point to never lose an argument, found that Sirius was just as stubborn. They fought like cats and dogs. Sirius always knew how to exactly rile Lily up, and Lily in turn knew exactly how much sarcasm it took to get on Sirius's nerves. It would last for two days till Sirius would buy them Chinese takeout and Lily would get his favorite pastry and they would make up.
Oh, but their prank wars were horrific to say the least. Sure, Sirius had had plenty of experience at Hogwarts but Lily Evans was nothing if not crafty and ruthless.
Sirius had to admit defeat and surrender when he walked into his room and found everything upside down once. Lily had done quite a thorough job apparently, Sirius was stuck standing helplessly on his ceiling.
All in all, Sirius was someone Lily had grown fond of. She couldn’t have picked a better roommate, their personalities somehow clashed and complemented each other at the same time. So maybe Lily was excited to have him at their sleepover, screw it.
The next evening after a lot of scrambling while decorating the living room with fairy lights, complete with Sirius teasing Lily about her height till she tackled him into an impromptu wrestling match, The Sleepover had officially begun.
“Siri darling, I missed you!” Mary gasped and tackled him into a bear hug as soon as he opened the door for her. Sirius wrapped his legs around her and let himself be carried inside.
“Didn’t you two meet yesterday for breakfast?” Lily said scoffing fondly at her girlfriend’s dramatics.
Sirius and Mary were rightfully dubbed The Drama And The Queen at school. Years later, they still did justice to their titles.
“That was a whole day ago!” Sirius pouted as Mary unceremoniously dumped him on the couch.
“Sirius! I didn't know you were going to be here.” Dorcas said as she and Marlene came in through the Floo.
“I invited him.” Lily said, carrying the chicken nuggets and potato smileys.
“Lily invited me.” Sirius beamed at them.
“Oh cool. I would've asked James to come along if I knew but he told me he has to train the rookies in the morning.” Marlene said, dusting soot off her pajamas. She had no idea how Sirius and Dorcas were always spotless after using the Floo. Must be a pureblood thing.
“That’s fine, I know Captain Potter has his hands full these days.” Sirius said with an exaggerated sigh.
“It's alright you have us,” Pandora said.
Sirius squealed happily when she revealed her Nargle tattoo across her neck, with its mulberry and black wings stretching to her collarbones. It was charmed to move around her back. Sirius had called it one of his masterpieces, deeming Nargles “very punk rock”.
Mary held up two bottles from her bag, ”And we have champagne.”
Sirius immediately brightened and took the bag.
“Then you’re one of the girls tonight, i take it?” Mary asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
“I-” Sirius hesitated. “I suppose I am.” Huh. That felt strange to say. Not in a bad way. Sirius found himself pretty pleased with that if he was being honest.
“So James said we shouldn’t drink too much,” Lily announces, bringing out six glasses, “but he’s a loser. I say we empty the bottles since it's the weekend. Who’s with me?”
There's a chorus of “Boo James” and “Yay champagne” as they all grab a flute.
“Wait, one of us is going to have to stay sober.” Dorcas said.
Immediately five pairs of eyes darted to her.
“Oh no. I shouldn't have said that.” she sighed as they all looked at her pleadingly, Sirius actually changing and giving her his lethal puppy dog eyes.
“Alright, I don't even like champagne much.”
“Thanks babe” Marlene said, twirling her blond hair, pleased about how her girlfriend had a soft spot for them. “We don't want a repeat of last time.”
“What happened last time?” Sirius asked curiously.
“Lily and Pandora passed out while trying to get up and no one was sober enough to help them up.” Marlene replied, as Lily groaned.
This made Sirius fall off the couch laughing.
Which made Lily nearly strangle him.
“Okay,” Sirius breathed after his laughing barking hybrid fit was over, “so what do you actually do at this sleepover?”
“We start by sacrificing our blood in exchange for eternal beauty and youth. Then we prepare for the late night hunt.” Pandora deadpanned. Everyone burst into giggles while Sirius looked terrified. With how Dora talked you never know if she’s really joking or not.
“Do you mean to imply,” Dorcas said slowly, “that you’ve never been to a sleepover before?”
“No, of course I have! Just never with girls. Peter, Remus and I usually try to toss rings onto James’ antlers during ours. Then we rank the pranks Remus came up with in school.”
“Wow. Well, I’m not sure your high standards of fun will be met Padfoot. We just do each other's makeup and nails, play music and gossip here. Do you want to do something different?”
“No wait, that sounds really fun.” Sirius said unable to stop the happy balloon in his chest from inflating. He thought he was going to be all alone tonight and instead he was surrounded by his friends. He felt a surge of love towards them.
“Really? Do you want to use makeup as well? I don't think you have before.”
“Yes really!” Sirius found himself saying. After all, he never really thought about why he wanted to do something. Just why not. “James and I experimented with eyeliner once but I don't think it suited us much.”
“Bullocks.” Marlene snorted. “With a face like yours you’d absolutely slay eyeliner. You just need someone experienced to help you.”
“Are you sure about this?” Lily asked, as Mary excitedly dumped out all her makeup across the floor.
“Yes.” Sirius said, eyes widening. Blimey, he had no idea what half of the colorful bottles in front of him were, but with his head pleasantly buzzing he found himself not really caring. “Do it.”
“Sirius is a grown woman and can make her decisions, my love” Mary declared. She had the same brilliant crazy glint in her eyes that Sirius loved so dearly.
Lily mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like “yes, bad decisions usually”.
Half an hour later Sirius found himself sitting stiffly on the floor, back pinned to the couch as Mary and Marlene painted something shiny and black along his eyes and dusted his cheeks with glitter.
Pandora had braided his hair with fancy hair ties and clips. He was certain he could feel a feather sticking out of it. He had been very vocal about his opinions on ribbons and flowers. Alice had told him to shut up and sit still, as she carefully drew a little paw print on one of his thumb nails. Clearly he had no say in what they were turning him into. Sirius found he was too outnumbered to argue.
Lily and Dorcas were hyper focused over painting his nails in at least twenty different shades of red before finally agreeing over black.
Really, Sirius had never felt more pampered in his life. He let himself pretend he was one of those expensive small dogs rich ladies carry around, who have a whole set of professionals to shampoo their fur to perfection. They hadn’t even put so much work into their own appearances yet.
Finally Alice brought out a hand mirror for Sirius to see.
Holy Merlin.
Sirius felt his parents turn over in their graves. His ancestors probably had their jaws on the floor in the afterlife.
His eyelids were shaded with black and some hints of purple. There was a star drawn with black eyeliner and lined with white next to each eye that stood out against his pale skin. Small silver stars were adorning his cheekbones. Glitter was dusted all the way down to his jawline making it look even sharper than usual. The champagne he was sipping this whole time had made his cheeks rosy.
Sirius wanted to scream. This was what he had been missing his entire life. He had never felt such a rush of euphoria shoot through his entire body. He felt like the giant Christmas tree he'd seen in London. Every part of him lit up, bright and beautiful. He had never felt so truly himself. He had a sudden strong urge to get up and twirl around the room and show everyone in the world how he looked.
“Sirius?” Lily said when he had been staring at his reflection for well over a few minutes. She began to panic. Oh no, she thought, he hates it. This was stupid. Now Sirius was going to get upset because she had her friends shove up their femininity in his face. A year of friendship would come to a tragic messy end and and and-
“Thank you” Sirius said, voice shaking a little with emotion as he slowly glanced at all of them. He noticed his eyelashes were slightly longer and darker.
They stared at him till Mary let out a bark of laughter. “Damn right you should thank us, you look fabulous darling.”
“Agreed. If Remus doesn’t put a ring on you soon, I’m afraid I might have to swoop in and do it instead.” Marlene joked.
“Gayyyyy” Dorcas hollered at her, clearly having snuck some champagne as well.
“Really? 'Cas I’m literally your girlfriend.” Marlene laughed.
“Well, it is really gay to flirt when he’s one of the girls.”
“Do girls always flirt at sleepovers?” Sirius wondered out loud.
“Yup. there’s nothing girlier than girls flirting with girls at girl’s sleepovers "Mary said in a singsong voice.
“Alright, that’s enough.” Lily rolled her eyes fondly.
“No, I promise I’m okay with it.” Sirius grinned. “Oh and sorry Marls, I'm a taken woman. Perhaps in some other life.” He winked as she threw a peace sign, slightly bewildered at how easily he had said that.
Then Mary pulled him up to his feet and soon they were all screaming the lyrics of some ABBA song playing, dragging each other across the living room.
Lily kept trying to check Sirius’ face for any signs of discomfort, but he seemed to be genuinely elated to be called “one of the girls”.
Three hours later, Sirius had lost all impulse control (Lily had doubted if he ever had had any to begin with) but won every game of charades. They were still dancing though there was simply too much alcohol in their systems to stand or walk straight. Dorcas called them all lightweights and suggested they go to bed.
“But it’s only midnight!” Sirius protested loudly, over the music. “Lily for once stop being a goody two shoes, don't you dare tell us to go to bed.”
Lily would have liked to point out that she hadn’t said anything, but by that time all of them were too sloshed to care. She shrugged and nodded. It was Friday after all.
Sirius whooped and joined Pandora in a strange twirly dance with her hands in the air. She had this calm elegant energy about her which made it even more unexpected when she revealed her true self as an agent of chaos. She couldn’t care less about what people said about her. She made the prettiest jewellery with all sorts of things, her radish earrings and fruit loop bracelets being Sirius’ favourite. Most people, of course, called her crazy. Sirius agreed, she was crazy. Crazy brilliant.
“I need a dress.” He suddenly spun around and announced.
“You don't have a dress.” Lily reminded him.
“Make one for me.” he whined pointing an accusing finger at Mary as if it was offensive that even after being a fashion designer, she hadn’t made him one already.
“Alright.” Mary said dismissively, obviously too distracted to have heard his demand. Sirius usually demanded at least three custom made clothes before breakfast anyway.
Sirius wasn’t convinced. “Do you promise?” he asked, narrowing his eyes.
Mary finally met his eyes and nodded. Well, there. Now he had a dress. He will soon, that is. Tsk tsk. Technicalities.
Sirius had never been more overjoyed. He could cast the brightest Patronus right now just thinking of the dress.
He grabbed a boa from his closet and strutted back into the living room.
"There's a Starman, waiting in the sky!" Sirius sang, smiling so wide his face hurt.
Blimey, Remus was right. Bowie's a genius. Maybe Sirius could marry him. Yes, that feels like a great idea, maybe he could sing a masterpiece about Sirius.
"What're you thinking so hard 'bout there Sirius?" Dorcas said, her words a little slurred.
"I'm gonna be David Bowie's wife." Sirius announced loudly.
"Cheers to that." Dorcas said as they all raised their flutes giggling.
Finally, when the effects of the Gigglewater Pandora had pulled out Merlin knows when, died down, Lily dragged them all to wash their makeup off before bed. She knew she had to inevitably be the responsible one. Her friends were hopeless without her.
“Don’t do it! 'm too pretty, "Sirius said, struggling to keep his eyes open. "'m the prettiest girl at the sleepovah"
“Yes yes, you’re very pretty. But I have to take off your makeup before you pass out.”
“But but,” Sirius said nearly in tears all of a sudden. He didn't want the night to end, he'd have to stop being a girl. “Will I get to be a pretty girl again?”
Lily really didn’t know what to say to that.
“You will be just as pretty tomorrow Sirius.” She replied finally. That seemed to satisfy him.
Sirius said he tended to roll over and kick his legs around so he would sleep in his own room, while the girls had sleeping bags out in Lily's room. Okay that was a lie. Sirius had a galaxy themed muggle night light he found in a thrift store, hidden under his magazines so no one knew. Everyone knew anyway.
"I've always wanted to be a girl," Sirius said as Lily took off his makeup after they were in his room.
"That's the alcohol talking."
"No. I liked it a lot." Sirius said, apparently very serious about it. "I've been jealous of you lot sometimes. You get to be a girl and I don't."
His words slurred towards the end as he slumped against his bed frame. Lily registered how weird that sounded but decided it was a problem for her sober self. So she stumbled back into the living room and down to Mary’s warm embrace.