Work Text:
Remember once I told you about
How before I heard it from your mouth
My name would always hit my ears
As such an awful sound
And the soul, if that's what you'd call it
Uneasy ally of the body
It felt nameless as a river undiscovered underground
A small, grazile hand appeared in his field of view, gently prying the brush out of his hand just as he finished writing. It was followed by an exasperated sigh and a shake of Maomao's head as she put it down.
"You really have to be more assertive with the freak, he's been pushing all his work onto you again."
Turning his head towards her, Jinshi observed the both frightening and disgusted grimace that grazed her face. Then he smiled, clearly amused by her irritation. There was annoyance over Lakan in her tone, yes, but under all that there was also something else - something akin to concern, in a sense. Concern and annoyance not at Lakan specifically, but rather at the fact he was still working up to her intereference - it had been a while ago that Maomao had to lighten enough candles so he could continue working, now that Jinshi thought about it. His amusement however just seemed to rile Maomao up even more, as that scowl was now directed at him.
"Well, I had to get his blessing somehow. Making an enemy of the Grand Commandant Kan is something even I can't afford." And as it had turned out, one way to ensure Lakan's blessing was this. Agreeing to take on all his paperwork for the next weeks, leaving him with even more free time than he already had. And all that wasted on playing Go, drinking juice and sleeping all day...
Jinshi shook his head, still amused. Then he stood up, pushing a stray strand of hair out of Maomao's face and behind her ear. It earned him an annoyed huff, but it didn't hide how her face softened just a tiny bit. But then his hand wandered just a tiny bit further down to her back, and with a shudder Maomao quickly stepped away from Jinshi and glared at him again. He in return just met her with a smile most innocent, a smile most suited for a celestial nymph, though his eyes betrayed the playfulness of his intention behind the gesture.
"Please sit down, Master Shinji. There is wine and fruit waiting for you", with a bit more forcefulness than necessary in her voice, Maomao gestured over towards a small couch and table in a corner of the room.
Jinshi had it brought into his office shortly after they married, so Maomao had a comfortable place to wait for him while he worked late into the evenings. And just like she had said, the table was dressed with a bowl of fruit and two cups of wine. He walked over and then sat down, softly patting the space next to him. It only took a moment for his wife to join him, and with a hum he took a sip of wine.
"Master Shinji? I thought we were past such courtesies, young lady." This earned him another huff. Of course, he knew that Maomao had only said it to chide him, but it was too good of an opportunity to not tease her. After all, her beautiful face would always twist with irritation, yet her averted gaze and just the tiniest twitch in the corners of her mouth betrayed her true feelings.
It had taken a long time, many fights and quite a few misunderstandings before he finally managed to understand. Before Maomao was ready to open up enough, come to peace with her own feelings and how she never quite seemed to experience them the same way as everyone around her did. Jinshi remembered all too well moments like they had during that faithful hunt or their heated discussion shortly after the case of the shrine maiden, when he first tried to outright express his feelings for Maomao and how she rejected him.
It all came to a head after Loumen and Lahan left and only Maomao stayed behind, intent on making him sleep for more than just a few hours over the span of multiple days. It all built up, unspoken words and emotions, right up until Maomao had enough. Admittedly, Jinshi had ribbed her quite a bit, almost like a petulant child, over Maomao's continued avoidance and purposeful ignorance of all that was between them. But then, he felt quite bothered as well - on the one hand she always acted as if she did not care for him, but then she would go ahead and behave just like then, when she tried to get him to sleep, seemingly out of concern for his wellbeing. He was fed up by those mixed signals - and ended up snapping at her much more harshly than he intended or she deserved.
The words just seemed to burst right out of her in that moment, a waterfall of pent-up anger and frustration and all those unexpressed feelings. It caught him quite off-guard, something that surely must have shown on his face and been apparent to her. But then....from one second to the next, he went from startled to almost scarily calm. Yes, of course, there was also embarassment but - in that moment, something came over him. A sense of...determination? To show her his intentions, his true feelings. And so he told her.
He told her how he would make her his wife. How he would make sure to remove every obstacle between them, all for her, to be at her side.
And just like it came, the energy left him again in just a moment, and he ended up burying himself under the covers of his bed, unable to face her any longer and deeply exhausted.
The sound of Maomao clearing her throat forced Jinshi back to reality. She was looking at him, one eyebrow raised and a piece of fruit in her hand, right in front of his face. He blinked sheepishly, embarassed, before leaning forwards while a smile spread over his face. Not that of a celestial nymph, but that of a simple man, happy and in love with the woman right next to him. Jinshi gently took the piece of fruit from her, pressing a kiss to her fingertips while doing so.
"Don't get used to it", Maomao grumbled, turning her face away from him, instead focusing her gaze on her cup of wine and taking a sip herself. Jinshi took another piece of fruit, his gaze resting on Maomao. Another moment in their relationship came to his mind, an evening he was unable to ever forget - both in a metaphorical and physical way. The scar on his side would make sure of that.
Searing pain in the most literal way burned through his body as he pressed the crest-shaped, searing hot metal into his side. The stench of burning flesh and shocked gasps filled the room. Empress Gyokuyo swooned, Maomao rushing to her side to catch her before she could hurt herself, his brother starring at him like he just saw a ghost. And through the pain, through that searing hot pain, he smiled. Grim, pained, forced. Calculated. It was what he had to do, after all.
Later, Jinshi had felt guilt over how he really did sprung it all on Maomao without a warning. He knew that he could not have done it any other way, not with the outcome he wanted, needed even. And it did take quite a long while to regain her trust after that - as far as one could call their back and forth of bickering and using each other at that time "trust". It took quite a bit of work, but over time, and especially after that faithful evening, something had...changed after all.
She still struggled quite a lot with self-deprecating thoughts, he knew that. Jinshi also knew how difficult it still was for her to discern her feelings, express them in a way people would usually expect it of their significant other. But just like how she managed to make steps toward confronting those inner thoughts and find a way for herself to live with them, he also learned...quite a lot, really. There were still bumps in their relationship of course, days where they both talked past each other or did not quite manage to express what they actually wanted. But Jinshi had gotten better at reading those small cues from Maomao, tiny changes in her facial expressions or body language that betrayed what went on in her head. And in return he too slowly, properly opened up to her in an honest way.
Just like she did with him, Jinshi slowly managed to find his own way of communicating with Maomao. This beautiful, brilliant woman that now, finally, after all that happened, was truly at his side. With him.
Her gaze still fixed onto the cup of wine in front of her, Maomao's hand slowly crept directly next to Jinshi's. It took another short moment, then her pinky gently intertwined with his. She took a sip of wine, a mixture of disinterest and neutrality on her face - yet, Jinshi knew the meaning behind the gesture. After all, nowadays he knew how to read the small gestures and odd ways that Maomao used to express her affection for him. To most outsiders, Maomao might still appear as prickly as a moody black cat, but to him...
With a smile, he too took another sip from his wine before grabbing another piece of fruit. His smile turned downright mischievous, less like a celestial nymph and more like a devilish imp, as he used it to poke Maomao in the face.
And there was her all too familiar, murderous glare again.
Truly, he couldn't be happier.
And the first time that you kissed me
I drank dry the river Lethe
The Liffey would have been softer on my stomach all the same
But you spoke some quick new music
That went so far to soothe this soul
As it was
And ever shall be
Unearth without a name