Chapter Text
Day One:
Astrid has now been living with them for three weeks. These three weeks have been what you could call... hectic.
It has been wonderful of course, they had a child! A child they had wanted to cherish for so long, and, now she was here. It has felt as though their happiness was going to be complete. Yet, Sirius's darkest memories have been haunting him... His mother always there, criticizing his every move in the back of his head. He has had some of his worst days in a very long time.
So that explains why he is here today, waiting in a cabinet for a psychologist to go and cure his childhood out of him.
Is it what psychologist do? what psychologist are supposed to do? Is he going to have him enchanted in some sort? Is there a spell so that your awful childhood isn’t a bother anymore? He doesn’t know.
Remus is at his side, he has promised to accompany him as long as he wanted too. They have taken five appointments for the five next day, since Remus hasn’t found a job yet and that Sirius is rich. He is killing himself to convince Remus he doesn’t need to work, but apparently, he doesn’t think so since he’s still searching for a job despite all of his attempts. He doesn’t want to “depend” on him. What utter bullshit.
Sirius depends on Remus for the sake of his life, but Remus will never, never, depends on him. He can’t even go see a psychologist alone.
“Not to stressed are ya?” asks Remus, letting his thick accent taking over, he does that sometimes, when he is stressed mostly.
“You seem to be stressed more than me, love.” He chuckles as he grabs his hot scarred hand.
“Why’d’you say that?” he furrows his brows in that cute way of him that makes Sirius dies a little in the secret of his soul.
“Your accent is showing up.”
“I… just want... I just worry for ya, you deserve the best…”
“You’re exaggerating Moons.” His cheeks burn him a little. He doesn’t think that he deserves good thing that much, but he likes when Remus is complimenting him. Which is one of the reasons he doesn’t believe he’s deserving the best.
“I’m n-"
The door opens with force.
“The meeting of 2 pm?”
The man who has talked is shaped as a rectangle and has a pout that makes Sirius feels bad the minute he sees it. But he won’t abandon there, he needs to at least try.
“It’s us!” says Remus, probably sensing that Sirius has frozen.
“Two?”
“Yes, is that a problem?”
He says no, but his whole body cries out a big yes. They are following him to a big bureau, dark in the corner, a big desk and chairs on either side.
“So, who wants the therapy?”
“Erm, it’s me…”
“Alright," he drags the 'i', seemingly bored out of his mind, "and what’s your name, mister…?”
“Mister Black, Sirius Black sir.” He says with a blush, like a child who has done a stupidity.
“Oh.” He jolts his head forward at that sound.
Remus is the one reacting in the minute.
“What, oh?” the anger is palpable in Remus’s voice. So they are thinking the same thing.
“I don’t take the… Blacks” the name sounds as the worst insult possible in his mouth, it makes Sirius backs away, like a child, “in consultation. I have some respect for myself, and knowing the damage they have done to the community…”
Sirius tries helplessly to retain Remus by grabbing his sleeve, but he is already back on his feet, firing at the man before them.
“How fuckin’ dare ya say something like this? How? How can you consider Sirius being responsible for what his family has done? How do ya dare call yerself a fucking psychologist if you can’t go beyon’ yer littl’ prejudices? Was the man who gave ya yer licence as thick as ya? Can yer dumb brain even fathom the courage he has needed to gather for coming to yer fucking cabinet today? Uh? I really don’t think ya can, apparently you don’t know wha’ bein’ brave is. Even ‘is littl’ toe’s smarter than ya’re.”
He stays silent a moment, taking his breath back while glaring at the men with his meanest look, the one that makes Sirius find him so damned sexy when he is not the one receiving it.
“Com’on Sirius, we better should get goin’…”
He offers Sirius his hand and he grabs onto it like it is his lifeline. Remus storms through the door and when they are out of the building he lets his frustration out.
“How can ‘e does that to a fucking patien’? eh? That makes no fucking sense!”
“Maybe it was a bad idea…”
He says with a small voice. He really thinks it, maybe they shouldn’t have done this, after all, he’s an adult, he should be able to deal with this without someone else helping him. Regulus’s doing fine and he has not seen a psychologist.
If only you could be like your brother…
“Oh no, Sirius…”
Remus looks sorry and that makes Sirius feels even worst. All he has gained from wanting something useless is to hurt the one he loves…
“I’m not angry against ya, I’m angry for you… He didn’t have to say that, being born in the Black family shouldn’t be your burden to wear, and this man was so… infuriating! And not quite in the good way!”
“Maybe he’s right, maybe I don’t deserve any of this because my family’s awful?”
“Do you really believe it, love?”
He looks Sirius in the eye, his big brown eyes, soft like those of a nice doe, or any cute animal, it makes him shiver. Being the centre of all that pure attention.
“I… I don’t. But what if all the others we are going to see believes it too? I’m not sure I could bear it.”
Stupid. Stupid stupid. It’s stupid thinking that, letting him see that, how do you expect him to love you?
“If, unfortunately, that happened, I promise you that I will go burn all of their cabinet and I will pass several hours a day telling you how wonderful you are, and that your family isn’t you. And everytime I couldn’t, someone will take my place. Right?”
They stare at each other for a long time, and then, he nods.
“Coming home, eh? We have a pup waiting for us.”
He shook slightly his head, and with a smile he lets a “yep” out of his mouth.