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It had been a cloudy morning. Not quite rain yet, but cloudy.
Aziraphale woke up early as normally, rubbing his eyes on a sleepy manner and getting up for the day. They didn't have any kind of plans for today as the week had been an overwhelmingly busy one, meaning they decided to stay in.
He looked next to him at the sleeping demon, smiling softly. He liked waking up next to him every day. It was nice.
He made his way down into the kitchen, opening the soft white curtains. The angel put some water to boil to make some tea, as well as preparing some toast lazily.
As he finished his work and was about to sit down, he felt a pair of familiar arms wrap loosely around him from the back. He looked up and turned his head, noticing a rather sleepy demon nuzzle it's nose in the part where his right shoulder and neck met.
Aziraphale smiled, leaving the mug back down and turning around.
"Good morning." He smiled, placing a hand in Crowley's cheek.
" 'Morning." Crowley answered, nuzzling back to where he originally was. The angel giggled softly, running a hand through his hair.
"I made breakfast." He said quietly.
They sat in the living room after the empty cups and plates, just sitting together. Crowley laid his head on Aziraphale's shoulder and threw a leg around him, closing his eyes at the warmth. They had their usual day conversations, nothing new.
Aziraphale told him about the upcoming events around town or meetings, Crowley humming along. They talked about a show they were currently watching, or about the orange feline that hung around the south downs when it felt like showing up. Aziraphale found the cat quite charming, as it was pretty affectionate and friendly for being a stray.
They talked about anything and everything, until the conversation began to slow down.
Aziraphale looked down for a minute, clearing his throat.
"Uhm, dear? Can.. can you shift a bit, please?" He said, sitting up.
Crowley opened his eyes, sitting up as well.
"Oh, yeah, 'm sorry." He muttered.
Aziraphale remained silent for a moment.
"Uhm, do you ever feel like, you want something, but once you get it, it becomes.. kind of, uhm, boring?" The angel said, looking into the other's eyes. No glasses covered them.
Pure. Vulnerable.
"Uh, yeah..? Angel, what do you mean by that?" Crowley said, looking into Aziraphale's eyes as well.
"I don't.. I feel that way about this sometimes. You know, our lifes and all. I just feel like-.. Now that we've settled down, and all, it just-"
"What?" Crowley interrupted, staring at Aziraphale.
The angel remained silent once again. "I don't know if I love it."
Crowley stared at him. He lowered his head, not staring at anything. "So you don't like this."
"Crowley, that's not what I said." He answered. The demon stood up. "No, it's alright, 's fine, everything's fine." Crowley said, running a hand through his hair. As he brought his hand down, he tried to wipe a tear from his eye without Aziraphale noticing. But he did it poorly.
"Dear-"
"No. It's alright. I just thought, I don't know, that after all this time, I wouldn't be going too fast, now, would I?" He said, looking at Aziraphale.
"Crowley, you are not going too fast. I did not say that." Aziraphale said, standing up as well.
"Oh, but it's always the same old thing, isn't it? We can't always be like this, Aziraphale." He said. Aziraphale could had sworn that his heart broke for a second at the moment of Crowley calling him by his name.
"But you have to understand that it's not easy either, Crowley." He said.
"And you have to understand that I also have fucking feelings, you know? That I've been following you around like a lost puppy just for you to give me hope of something, anything, just to throw it all away in a second?" He said, his voice breaking slightly.
"I haven't thrown anything away, Crowley."
The demon chuckled, turning around and wiping the tears that were falling from his eyes without Aziraphale seeing him.
Aziraphale sighed, looking up at him. His heart ached when he saw the demon walk up to the front door, grabbing his glasses and walking outside. He remained in place for a moment, before quickly walking to follow the demon and try to apologize.
"Crowley, don't-"
But when he stepped outside, the demon wasn't there. Gone in a breeze of air. Like he wasn't there in all day in the whole day.
He'll come back soon, Aziraphale thought. He sat back on the couch and sighed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. He was angry, of course, both of them were. But he knew he'd come back. Right? He always came back.
He always came back, no matter what happened, he thought with a small sob leaving his throat.
Maybe that was the problem.
--_-_----_-_--_-_-_-_-_--___-_
The sun set down that same day. Aziraphale remained in the same spot, no sight of Crowley to be seen. He had called his phone many times, twelve to be exact. No answer. The demon didn't even hang up, there was straight up no answer.
He called a thirteenth time, the voicemail popping up once more.
"Crowley, dear, please come back. It's been some freezing nights and I don't want you to get cold." He said lowly, his voice slightly raspy. He sighed and hung up for the thirteenth time.
--_-_-_--_-_---_--_-__-_--_--_
He had woken up that morning hoping that he would find the demon sleeping next to him. Not cuddling with him, but at least next to him. He didn't, though.
He prayed for said demon to be sleeping in the couch as he headed downstairs. This wasn't the case either.
Aziraphale sighed, fighting the small tears from his eyes. He ran a hand through his hair and turned back to the stairs once again, walking up to the bedroom again. He didn't feel like eating.
The day went by the same way. The next one, too. No news of Crowley, either good or bad ones. Aziraphale called him a few times, still no answer. He called Nina and Maggie to ask if they had seen him around the coffee shop, if he by any chance went there for any kind of thing.
It hurt, but they told him that there was no sight of the demon near the coffee shop. Maggie asked him if there was some kind of problem, but he smiled at the phone and told them no, that everything was just fine.
The next day the sky also seemed very cloudy. Scarily cloudy, to the point where it was practically obvious that it was gonna rain at least once. Aziraphale didn't mind this as he grabbed an umbrella.
He needed some fresh air, he thought. He also noticed that Crowley had left without the Bentley, which meant that he didn't have his car. This made his heart break even a bit more, wondering where the demon had stayed this last three days. He kept trying to convince himself that it was the bookshop, even though he knew the demon didn't have a key.
"Demonic miracle" he thought. He really hoped that was the case.
He walked to town and went to the coffee shop as well, where he confessed what truly had happened and his worry to the girls. Maggie seemed pretty hurt by knowing the full actual story, but Nina tried to reassure him that the demon couldn't be far away, and that he wouldn't be gone for too much time.
Aziraphale smiled and tried to convince himself as well from the woman's words, ordering his usual.
He spent some short hours in the shop with them, it at least freshened up his mind a bit and made him hope that once he got back to the cottage, Crowley would be there waiting for him, angry or not. He didn't care much about that. He just wanted to make sure he was okay.
It had been some freezing nights, indeed. And days, too. Which made the angel even more mad, as Crowley left like nothing without any type of warmth, just his usual clothes. The cold-blooded creature in him would probably be having hypothermia by now if he had to stay outside for more than a day, which made Aziraphale break even more.
Just as he was about to leave the coffee shop, he noticed the subtle rain on the street. He was glad that he had brought his umbrella with him that exact time.
He opened it gently outside the shop, walking through the street.
He could had miracled himself home, if he wanted to. But he didn't. Cause the walk was the only thing currently distracting him from the mess that was it all.
He walked a few streets, reaching a park. It wasn't one he had seen a lot, but it wasn't ugly. It didn't really have a lot of trees, but it had bushes and a big river crossed it.
He walked up to the bridge on it. It was definitely quite high, but it was peaceful. He walked through the rain and the long bridge, until his eyes started to make up something in the edge of it.
It was a man, sitting. The poor guy was sitting on the edge of the bridge, in the cold rain, just staring down at it.
Aziraphale's heart ached at it, as he walked gently up to the man to ask him if he was okay.
The guy was crearly shivering, and it could be seen even from far.
As he did reach him in the slightest, however, was when his hair actually broke completely. It was a familiar redhead.
Said redhead was sitting on the edge of the bridge, shivering in the cold rain.
"Crowley?" Aziraphale murmured. He turned his head around, looking at the angel. There was a small scratch on his face, by one of his eyes. His glasses rested by his hands and there was also a small cut on the shoulder of his leather jacket.
"Hey." He muttered, looking up at Aziraphale. Aziraphale instantly dropped his umbrella to the ground, wrapping his arms around Crowley and pulling him in, far from the edge.
"Crowley! Dear, o-oh, you scared me to death, oh my-" he muttered, burying his head into the demon's neck. He let out a small sob, holding onto him for dear life. "Oh, Crowley, I'm so sorry.."
"It's okay, angel, I understand." He said, yet still not hugging him back.
"No, no. I swear. Having you away for so long has truly made me realise how much I need you, Crowley." He said, wrapping his arms around him tighter. "I'm so sorry, dear... I don't want anything to change, please.."
Crowley sniffled, wrapping his arms around the angel. Aziraphale was warm. And without him knowing, that was the thing Crowley needed the most at this moment. "You bastard..." He whispered, hugging Aziraphale as close as possible.
"Dear, you're shivering, oh my lord.." Aziraphale muttered, grabbing the umbrella again and shoving it into the demon's hands.
He took off his coat, wrapping it around him. "Please don't tell me you've been staying outside, dear." He whispered.
"I didn't have anywhere else." Crowley answered.
Aziraphale sniffled. "You should had come home."
"I thought you didn't want me there." He muttered with a small sob, and Aziraphale wrapped his arms around him again. Crowley sniffled again, pulling Aziraphale into a warm kiss.
-_-_--_-_--_--_-----_--_-_
As soon as they walked through the door, Aziraphale snapped his fingers to light up the fireplace. He led the shivering demon in the couch, opening a few drawers they had in the back of the living room to bring him a few thick blankets. He gave them gently to him, quickly walking into the kitchen to make him something warm.
When he came back, Crowley was all wrapped around the blankets like a baby. Aziraphale smiled, handing him a cup of hot tea. The demon smiled, taking it gently. He moved to the side, patting the spot next to him.
Aziraphale smiled as well, sliding under the blankets with him. He was way warmer than all the blankets and fireplaces. Crowley instantly snuggled closer, laying his head on Aziraphale's shoulder again.
"You truly meant that?" He whispered. Aziraphale looked down.
"Meant what?"
"That you don't want to change anything."
He smiled at Crowley, kissing his forehead.
"Yeah."
And he truly did. He didn't want to change anything. From the visits of the stray, to the demon falling asleep on the couch after a glass or two and having to carry him upstairs, to when Crowley showed him the different types of plants, to their baking sessions together, or to the little silly shows they would watch.
He didn't. He didn't want to give up on something that wasn't made to be given up.