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“okay, you guys,” kung lao said as he shuffled the deck of uno cards presented to him. “how even do you play this game?” he asked. raiden sat down on the bench, “no idea. wasn’t it johnny who said he knows how to play this game? he should explain,” raiden suggested helpfully.
“where is johnny, anyway?” kenshi asked, tightening his blindfold. the three scanned madam’s bo restaurant to spot johnny flirting with two girls a couple years younger than him. “jesus christ,” kenshi sighed. “classic,” kung lao chuckled.
the three of them watched johnny get dragged away from the girls by liu kang, who was holding a tray of beers for the other boys. “fuck, liu kang, can’t a man be happy? you made me this sexy in this timeline just for me to not be able to utilise my gift?” johnny complained as he sat on the bench, automatically going for one of the glass of beers liu kang had brought along.
“tool,” kenshi snorted, making kung lao chuckle as he dealt the cards. “oh, seven each,” johnny said to kung lao, sliding two cards to kenshi, who was sat on his left. “mind explaining the game for us, johnny?” raiden asked.
“what, you guys are from earthrealm too, no? you guys never played uno before?” johnny asked. “that’s because we usually do more productive stuff with our lives - you know, out in the great outdoors,” raiden snorted condescendingly, making everyone but johnny chuckle a little.
“hey, old mcdonald, uno is amazing, okay? liu kang, do you know how to play? you’re practically, like, god or some shit,” johnny said, taking his sunglasses off, breathing on the tinted lenses, and wiping them on his shirt. he raised his hand to put on the sunglasses on before kenshi slapped his hand down, “you’re inside, cage, and it was liu kang who suggested we should play uno in the first place,” he rolled his eyes.
“hey! these are $500. you scratch these, i’ll scratch you,” johnny threatened, pointing his glasses at kenshi with an unimpressed glare. “i’d like to see you try, hollywood,” kenshi chuckled sarcastically. johnny opened his mouth to retort but liu kang cut him off, “why don’t we start the game of uno?” he suggested. “johnny, explain the game for us.”
“aren’t you, like, father of the universe or some shit? shouldn’t you know uno?” snorted johnny. “anyway, the game is simple: you can only put down cards of the same number or color. if you can’t put a card down, pick one up. you can put a plus two on a plus two and a plus four on a plus four, but you can’t mix. if there’s a wildcard, you do whatever it says. when you have one card left, say uno,” johnny explained quickly.
“is that clear?” liu kang asked everyone. everyone shook their heads.
“idiots,” johnny snickered. “the more you play, the better you get, don’t worry.”
“i will try my hardest to explain as we go along,” liu kang said, flipping over the first card. “a green two,” liu kang exclaimed. “now, see how i am putting down a green seven? that is because there is a green two down,” liu kang explained.
“oh,” everyone nodded in unison. “kung lao, it is your go,” liu kang coaxed. kung lao frowned, “this sucks - i have no green cards,” he announced. “do you have any sevens?” asked liu kang.
kung lao looked at his cards once more before shaking his head. “no. go fish,” he said, making johnny laugh. liu kang sighed, “that’s not the game we’re—“ he inhaled and exhaled in order to recollect himself, “you have to take a card from the pile,” liu kang instructed.
kung lao begrudgingly took a card, “we just started playing and i’m already losing?”
“don’t worry, kung lao, i’m placing money on johnny’s loss. in fact, i’d even bet sento,” said kenshi with smug grin. “oh, i’ll make you eat your words,” said johnny.
“kenshi, your go,” raiden spoke. “the card must be green or a seven,” he guided him.
“i have this one green card with a prohibition sign on it. what does it do?” kenshi asked.
“that is a skip card,” liu kang informed the group. “if you place it down, johnny’s turn is skipped.”
“is that so?” kenshi asked teasingly.
“don’t you do it, kenshi,” johnny pointed a finger at him, eyeing the way his fingers carressed the back of the green skip card. “you are the least menacing person ever, johnny. madame bo is scarier than you,” raiden snorted.
“madam bo is scarier than liu kang,” kung lao argued. “remember that time kenshi and johnny were fighting and causing a commotion, and she made them do the dishes for three months. and she made johnny cry,” raiden recalled, laughing with liu kang and kung lao.
“she didn’t make me cry, dick, there was something in my eye. kenshi, do not put down that card,” johnny warned again, and despite his poor attempt of coming off as scary, kenshi placed down the card with a victorious smile.
“you complete son of a bitch!” johnny shouted, standing up in anger. kenshi laughed at johnny’s downfall, making johnny kiss his lips. “oh, that’s funny to you? you think that’s funny, huh? watch your back, taira,” johnny rolled his eyes, sitting down at drinking some of his beer.
“is it my go?” raiden asked. “what’s this card, with the arrows on it?” he asked liu kang.
“that’s a reverse card,” liu kang began. “it reverses the turn order, so johnny would go, instead of me.”
“ooh! place that down. place it down, raiden. i know you wanna place it down,” encouraged johnny.
“wait,” raiden considered. “i must first think about what—”
“don’t think, just do!” johnny complained.
“okay, fine,” raiden nodded, placing his reverse card down, causing johnny to clap triumphantly. “ha!” he exclaimed. “your ass is mine, kenshi!” johnny slammed down a green plus 2 card.
“get a room, you two,” kung lao joked.
“draw 2,” johnny pointed at him.
“that is completely unfair,” kenshi rolled his eyes as he picked up two cards. “suck it, john milton,” johnny sighed triumphantly, drinking more of his beer.
“i don’t appreciate your hostility, johnny,” kenshi remarked.
“don’t worry, kenshi, i got you!” kung lao said, putting down another green reverse card. “got one too.” johnny’s face dropped and kenshi’s grin returned to his face.
“thank you, kung lao,” kenshi nodded in appreciation. “this should shut you up for a while, hollywood,” kenshi snapped, placing down a green skip card. “oh, no, you didn’t,” johnny pointed at kenshi. “oh, yes, i did,” kenshi returned with an unusual amount of sass. “you little bitch,” johnny swore. “oh, we’ll show you,” johnny turned to raiden.
“raiden, my favourite. place down another reverse,” johnny ordered.
“i don’t have another reverse,” raiden claimed, looking at his cards. “but,” he smiled, “i do have a green five,” he placed it down.
“how does that help me?” johnny asked.
“it doesn’t, have a good day,” raiden responded, making kenshi, liu kang and kung lao laugh. “ah, now, this,” liu kang placed down a card with 4 different colours on it, “is a wild card. placing it down will allow the user to change the colour,” he explained.
“change it to red,” johnny suggested.
“no, blue,” raiden opposed.
“in this instance, i’m changing it to yellow,” liu kang decided. “works for me!” kung lao eagerly placed down a yellow five. “son of a bitch,” johnny murmured under his breath with raiden. it was kenshi’s go and he was taking his time assessing his cards. he looked at johnny and then back at his cards, then at johnny, facial expressions ambiguous.
after another staring competition with johnny, kenshi quickly placed down a yellow skip card. “are you fucking kidding me?” johnny groaned. “liu kang, is this allowed?”
“yes, johnny, you’re allowed to be bad at the game,” kung lao interjected. “shut up, ponytail,” johnny rolled his eyes. “i had the card, johnny,” kenshi shrugged, pretending to look regretful. “that’s three times,” johnny held up three fingers to kenshi’s face, making the others laugh as they drank their drinks. “you skipped me three times! i mean, how is that even possible?” johnny whined.
“stop bitching,” kung lao grinned.
“yeah, johnny, stop bitching,” raiden echoed.
“don’t blame me for your loss,” kenshi held his hands up. “blame whoever shuffled the deck,” kenshi suggested. “hey!” kung lao burst out, “i shuffled this deck just fine!”
“well, tell that to who’s bitching,” kenshi pointed at johnny. “you’d be bitching too if you were skipped three fucking times!” johnny argued.
“no, i wouldn’t!” kenshi defended himself. “because i know this is only a game.”
“you’re only saying that because you’re winning,” johnny rolled his eyes. “no, i’m not,” kenshi said slowly. you’re, ugh, you’re always like this,” kenshi complained.
“just like a married couple,” raiden quipped.
“you’re so damn competitive,” kenshi ignored raiden’s comment. “and what’s wrong with that? how do you think i got everything i did?” johnny asked.
“sleeping around and flirting with people?” kung lao asked.
johnny took no notice, “by being competitive!”
“this is a fucking game, cage!” kenshi snapped.
“i have a yellow card,” raiden interrupted the quarrel. “well, put it down then,” johnny sighed sassily. raiden nodded, slowly placing his yellow plus 2 down. liu kang drew two cards with no complaints. “a yellow seven,” kung lao put his card down.
kenshi looked at johnny as he placed down his yellow skip card, making kung lao and raiden laugh loudly. “should i kill myself? you know what, fuck this game,” johnny stood up with his beer.
“oh, come on, johnny,” kenshi teased.
“no! i’m sick of this shit,” he finished his beer and slammed it down into the table loudly. “how the fuck did you get 4 skips and use them every single fucking turn?!” johnny shouted angrily.
“not my fault,” kenshi responded calmly. “those are the cards i was given at the start of the game.”
“oh, stop it with that bullshit,” johnny pointed his finger at kenshi. “you are so childish,” kenshi told him. “blah blah blah, i’m not listening,” johnny covered his ears and began shouting over kenshi. “you are embarrassing yourself, cage. sit down,” kenshi pulled his arm down, forcing johnny to sit.
“he.. is cheating,” johnny had begun slurring his words as he pointed a finger at kenshi’s face, prodding his cheek. “cheating? are you serious?” kenshi scoffed. “yes, i am,” johnny nodded confidently. “are you that fucking dense that you can’t believe that this deck couldn’t have just been handed to me?” kenshi asked.
“well, excuse me for thinking how someone can get four skips just out of fucking chance!” johnny retorted. “ask kung lao! ask him why he sucks at shuffling cards!” kenshi pointed, making kung lao lose his smile. “hey! i don’t suck! you just got lucky!” kung lao joined in with the argument.
“you do! you do suck!” kenshi shouted. “i got four skips, and two of the same fucking colour!” kenshi pointed at his cards angrily.
“and for the record, you were cheating!” kung lao accused him with a finger. “uh, see! it’s so fucking obvious!” johnny raised his voice.
“i saw you looking at my cards!” kung lao claimed unhappily. “looking at your cards? are you trying to be funny, kung lao? i can’t even see!” kenshi pointed at his blindfold. “that isn’t an excuse!” kung lao argued. kenshi scoffed incredulously, “what do you mean that’s not an—”
“alright!” liu kang interrupted. “this has gone on long enough,” he sighed.
“yes, it has,” johnny nodded. “liu kang, banish him from earthrealm for cheating,” johnny said. “johnny, surely you know i can’t do that,” liu kang frowned. “well, then, i’m done!” johnny stood up again.
“fuck this game! fuck you for suggesting we play it,” johnny pointed at liu kang. “fuck you for shitty shuffling skills,” he pointed at kung lao.
“my shuffling is NOT—”
“fuck you for..” he landed on raiden, who had been merely an observer of this fight, sipping his beer occasionally. “well, you didn’t do anything wrong,” he admitted, making raiden grin. johnny turned to kenshi, pointing a finger. “and fuck you! fuck you for all your skipping. i’m out!” johnny announced, beginning to leave.
“just like your ex-wife,” kenshi mumbled, making kung lao and raiden gasp then laugh.
“what was that, asswipe?!” johnny turned back to the group. “nothing,” kenshi shook his head. “bye, cage,” he waved innocently. “no, what did you say?” johnny urged. “say it to my face!”
“you know the game just started and you’re already bailing out,” kenshi reminded johnny. “what, are you afraid of losing?” kenshi asked. “you should be used to it - you already lost your wife, you already lost your house. it’s just a card game, johnny! it’s no big deal if you lose!” kenshi ranted. everyone fell silent at kenshi’s harsh words, and all eyes were on johnny.
kenshi sighed apologetically, “johnny, i didn’t mean that.”
“yeah, sure you didn’t,” johnny snorted.
“no, uh.. i’m sorry. i was blinded by anger,” kenshi admitted.
kung lao frowned, “i thought you were blinded by mileena?”
“kung lao, really?” liu kang sighed, earning a small but confused ‘what?’ from kung lao.
“look,” kenshi cleared his throat and stood up with johnny, “i’m sorry, okay? i was kinda playing like a dick.”
“uh, yeah, you were,” johnny scoffed.
“i don’t know what came over me,” kenshi finished. johnny sighed, shaking his head, “no, you’re all good. i overreacted, and for that i’m…” johnny trailed off, leaving another awkward silence.
“you’re what?” raiden asked.
“yeah, you kind of trailed off there, johnny,” kung lao nodded. “it sounded like you were going to say you’re sorry,” kenshi agreed.
“it’s just a game, though, right?” johnny laughed, avoiding having to apologise. “what do you guys say we just continue like the civil group of friends we are? and kenshi can join in if he wants,” johnny added.
“when i try to be nice,” kenshi shook his head.
“actually, we should play a different game,” raiden suggested. “i don’t really like this game,” raiden said.
“really? why not?” kenshi asked.
“it just makes everyone so hostile towards each other,” raiden reasoned. kung lao nodded his head, “yeah, that’s true.”
“i have an idea,” kenshi spoke up, “why don’t we take a pause on this game and order some food to eat? then we can figure out what to do later,” kenshi suggested.
“that’s a wonderful idea,” raiden nodded.
liu kang suddenly burst out into laughter, startling johnny a little. “i forgot he was there,” johnny murmured when kenshi looked at him with a teasing frown.
“i just thought of something. imagine giving this to empress sindel and general shao. the chaos that would ensue!” liu kang laughed more with everyone else. “i’d pay good money to see that!” johnny laughed. “anyway.. food? i’m starving,” johnny stood up, going to the counter to get food.
“how can you even see the cards?” kung lao asked kenshi. “sento,” kenshi answered simply, making everyone nod and murmur. “that makes sense,” kung lao nodded.
“now that johnny’s gone.. were you actually cheating?” raiden asked kenshi curiously. kenshi looked over at johnny to ensure he was out of earshot before leaning in, and everyone else followed suit. with a mischievous grin, kenshi answered, “yes.”