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Gale knew there would be no sleep for him that night. Inside him, the orb desperately craved more magic, despite having been fed less than an entire day before. Once, he could have believed it was a strange event. Twice, he could convince himself it was a coincidence. Three times, and he had no choice but to face the fact that the orb in his chest was getting out of his control, and he no longer had any idea of how to satiate it.
He stood up, and with a tired sigh, walked away from their camp. He needed some distance, some space to think — even if he wasn't sure thinking would solve the problem at hand. So, for the time being, he simply walked, slow step after slow step, as he waited for his mind to slow down as well. When it didn't work, he approached a large flat stone, sitting there, taking a moment to just absorb everything around, from the sights to the sounds and smells, allowing them to fill him — ease his thoughts enough so he could think more clearly.
He could just leave. That very night, before everyone woke up. No need for goodbyes or long explanations. One less problem for those people to deal with… They already had a time bomb inside their heads, and certainly didn't need another by their side.
As for Gale, he had made the decision to isolate himself if things got out of control, so the orb would take no one but himself with it. But it was easier to think about such things while they were still distant possibilities… The closer it became to being his only option, the more he wanted to look away and pretend things would, somehow, solve themselves. Like that very night. It would be so easy to leave… No one would be there to stop him so late at night. He could just go and face the inevitable before he lost what little control he still had over it.
But he didn't want to die. Not so soon, not alone… There should be more to his life than this. He wasn't ready to accept the contrary yet.
"Hello, my sweet."
That voice startled Gale out of his thoughts. He hadn't noticed Astarion's approach, though he couldn't tell if the blame fell upon his busy mind or Astarion's light steps.
"Oh… hello," he said.
His voice sounded less composed than he hoped, but Astarion didn't seem to mind it. He took a seat beside Gale, close enough for their arms to touch lightly.
"You seemed quite lonely here by yourself," said Astarion.
Gale forced a smile. "Did I?"
"Yes, terribly." Astarion grinned, leaning closer. "And I happened to be bored. What a nice coincidence, don't you think?"
The insinuation in his voice didn't pass unnoticed by Gale. They had spent a few nights together before — intense, pleasurable, passionate nights devoid of any actual feelings, that soothed his worries, but always left a bittersweet aftertaste. That wasn't the kind of relationship Gale longed for. He wanted something deeper… A real connection. Someone he could devote himself to, hold close, and adore with his entire being. Something long gone.
It means nothing… It doesn't have to. It's better like this.
He smiled at Astarion, who seemed to take it as an invitation to move closer. Without another word, he kissed Gale's lips, lightly caressing his neck.
Despite everything, his touch was comforting. It made Gale wonder: if he chose to leave that night, would Astarion try to stop him? Would he even think of him after he was gone? Or just jump to the next partner without a second thought?
And did it really matter if he did so?
Astarion suddenly broke that kiss, staring at him with some annoyance. "It's not fun if you're so clearly not into it."
It took that for Gale to realize how far his mind had been. "I'm sorry, I was just… thinking."
Astarion narrowed his eyes. "About the pretty goddess?"
Not quite, but also close enough to the truth for it to not feel like a lie.
"Does it bother you?" asked Gale.
"Not at all." Astarion smiled, brushing Gale's lip with his finger. "Though, I admit I'm a little jealous of this power she has over you."
Charming as always… When he said it like that, Gale could almost believe him — and, for the moment, almost was more than enough.
"Would you steal my thoughts away, then?" he whispered.
"Gladly." Astarion pouted slightly. "Just try not to get distracted again. I very much prefer to be the center of your attention."
Gale let out a small laugh. "Fair enough."
Seeming pleased with the answer, Astarion closed that small distance, kissing him again. This time, Gale's mind stayed in the present, and he allowed Astarion's presence to fill his senses: his smell, his taste, his slightly cold touch… Without breaking the kiss, Astarion moved to his lap. He cupped Gale's face, his hands slowly making their way down his neck and chest. Gale brought a hand to his back, circling Astarion's waist with his arm, pulling him closer until there was no distance left to close.
Gale broke the kiss, bringing his lips to Astarion's neck, sliding his hand under Astarion's shirt, caressing his back, feeling the contour of that scar under his fingertips. Astarion pressed their lower bodies together, nibbling Gale's ear, then sliding his lips down his neck. Without thinking, Gale brought his hand to Astarion's head, holding him close, and Astarion laughed against his skin.
"You are tempting me, darling…"
It took Gale a moment to understand what he meant. Then, realization made him laugh as well. "You know you will regret it."
"Who knows… It might be an acquired taste."
Astarion lightly bit his neck, his sharp fangs scratching Gale's skin without breaking it. Gale brought a hand to Astarion's chin, lifting it to kiss his lips again, as he opened the buttons of Astarion's shirt. They got rid of their clothes, and in the next moment, they were together on the ground, Gale on his back with Astarion on top of him. If what Gale wanted was a distraction from his troubles, it worked. For as long as it lasted, Gale's thoughts and desires belonged entirely to that man, for him to do with them as he pleased.
By the end of it, he was left satisfied, but also longing for something more. He said nothing about it: it wasn't Astarion's fault that he felt that way, and he wouldn't want to ruin his night because of his personal troubles.
So, without another word, they reached for their clothes, starting to wear them again.
"Shall we go back before they notice our absence?" said Astarion.
Gale's chest tightened at the suggestion. "Wait…"
That plea left Gale's lips before he could stop it. Astarion looked at him, slightly intrigued.
"Yes?"
What was he supposed to say? Hells, he didn't even know what it was that he wanted.
"Nothing," he muttered.
Astarion stayed in place, looking at him for a while. "Darling, it's unlike you to be this quiet."
Gale could manage a smile. "Oh, if that's what you want, I have so many things to talk about. History, religion, the wonders of nature…" He gestured widely, then focused his gaze on Astarion. "Pick a subject, and I promise to go on for hours on end."
As he expected, his words made Astarion growl and roll his eyes.
"Please, spare me from your lectures…" He went silent for a second, then looked again at Gale. "Although…"
"Oh." Gale grinned. "Changed your mind?"
"It just crossed my mind that, for how much you can babble about pretty much everything, I know very little about you." Astarion gestured toward him. "I mean the person, not the wizard."
The suggestion caught Gale off-guard. He wasn't really expecting Astarion to want to talk… Much less talk about him.
"I'm afraid the person and the wizard are one and the same."
Astarion sighed, impatient. "You know what I meant."
"You know you just eliminated any interesting stories I could tell, don't you?"
"Just humor me."
Saying that, Astarion lay beside Gale once again. Such a simple request shouldn't be enough to make him flustered, and yet, Gale found himself at a loss for words.
"Well… I'm Gale."
"Yes."
"I'm from Waterdeep."
"Truly?"
"My actual surname is Dekarios."
"I heard this one from Tara already." Astarion sighed, disappointed. "For someone with such a tendency for boasting, you are surprisingly terrible at this."
"This is the kind of thing that comes better naturally. It's hard to come up with something interesting all of a sudden."
"And here I thought you would be such an endless source of entertainment for the night…"
Gale raised his eyebrow. "Why don't you try to do better, then."
Astarion forced a laugh. "I'm afraid I don't have many interesting stories to share."
"And what about before you… You know."
Astarion's smile faltered a little, making Gale wonder if he had accidentally crossed a line.
"Honestly?" said Astarion in a low voice. "I can barely remember. My face, my life… People who I might have loved one day. It's all a blur now. Anything I tell you could very well be something I made up at some point to…" He shrugged lightly. "Fill the gaps."
Something in his voice made Gale's heart sting. "I'm sorry."
"Don't." Astarion faced him, whatever vulnerability Gale saw in him quickly fading. "Let's not make this a depressing thing."
"Alright."
Gale made an effort to find something more light-hearted to say.
"Well, I… first met Tara when I was a kid. I was angry at my parents because they wouldn't let me have a cat, so I summoned a tressym. Which didn't make them very happy, to be honest… But you can't say no to Tara once you meet her. Not that telling her to leave would have made any difference, but… You know."
"That's actually quite endearing. And Tara is a delight to have around."
"She has been a good friend to me… The only friend I had for a long time."
Astarion nodded, staying silent for a moment. "Is your family…?"
"Ah, yes. My mother still lives in Waterdeep. I haven't seen her in a long while, but Tara keeps her company sometimes. When she isn't fussing over me, of course."
"You seem to have that effect on people."
"Not on you, it seems."
"Oh, you do. More than anyone else in our camp, at least." Astarion showed him a half-smile. "So? Anything else to share?"
"Nothing that you would consider fun, I think."
"I assure you, I will let you know if I get bored."
"That's not as reassuring as you think." Gale sighed, thinking for a second. "Well, since we were talking about summoning, I did summon a Magma Mephit when I was ten… We've been friends for ages. I'm sure you met it before."
"Wait… Is it the same one who gave us…?"
"The Scroll of True Resurrection?" Gale clapped his hands, unable to hold back a smile. "The very same."
Astarion crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at him. "I still haven't forgiven you for that stunt."
"My apologies. I needed to make sure that whoever found my body used the scroll, you see? And I thought adding a little challenge to it would make the process more fun and intriguing."
"I don't think I would use those words to describe the experience."
"Come on, it wasn't that bad."
"Shall we ask Shadowheart for her opinion on the matter?"
Gale cringed at the idea. "Maybe we should keep it between us."
His answer earned him a victorious smile from Astarion. "But I suppose that's quite the impressive feat for a ten-year-old. Most children would probably be too busy at that age eating dirt or something like that."
"It sounds like it comes from experience."
Astarion grimaced. "Ew… I hope not." He raised his finger, lightly poking Gale's chest. "Either way, you were supposed to give me the embarrassing stories, not the contrary."
Gale furrowed his brow, trying to seem more annoyed than he actually felt. "You said nothing about embarrassing…"
"It was just a slip of the tongue, don't mind it." He gestured toward Gale. "Go on."
Gale gave it some thought. Years before, he would have countless tales of his feats to share, but now they all felt like shallow boasting — especially considering where his actions ended up taking him.
"Most stories from that time go more or less like that," he said. "I want something, I find a way to make it happen… My parents get angry, but not as much to forbid me from using magic, so… I just keep doing it. And causing some trouble. And finding my way out of it again. Magic felt natural to me… Some people said what I did was impressive, but it never felt like that. It just felt like part of who I was."
Astarion chuckled. "Poetic."
"Thank you very much." Gale paused, a bitter taste filling his mouth. "That was how I caught her attention."
"The goddess'?"
Gale nodded. "I was still young when she first came to me. And soon she became my everything. My mentor, my guide, my inspiration. My…"
"Lover?"
There seemed to be a half-contained sharpness in his voice, but Gale concluded he had simply imagined it.
"I was elated," he said. "Can you imagine the feeling of having the attention of a goddess on you?"
"It sounds quite terrifying."
The bluntness of the answer almost made Gale laugh. "You're not wrong. I was terrified of losing it all. I told myself there was no reason to worry, that I was special and all that nonsense. But I knew it wasn't true, and that I could lose her love just as easily as I gained it. And I suppose fear and arrogance are the most terrible combination there is. I was so convinced that if I proved myself to her, she would never leave me, that… I made the most stupid decision of my life. And showed her myself how wrong she was to have chosen me."
It was still painful to put that into words, but Gale managed a half-smile, gesturing toward himself.
"And now I have an orb of Netherese magic in my chest."
"And you eat our magical items for breakfast," added Astarion.
His words made Gale furrow his brow. "I'm not sure eating is the most accurate description for—"
Astarion groaned loudly. "Oh, spare me…"
Gale laughed, satisfied by the exasperated reaction. But soon the satisfaction crumbled, something heavier quickly taking its place.
"It is… getting worse."
Astarion looked at him, confused. "What is?"
"The orb. No matter how much weave I absorb, it never seems to be enough. It can't be sated."
For some long seconds, neither of them spoke a word.
"Since when?" asked Astarion in a cautious voice.
"A few days."
The mix of anger and disbelief in Astarion's face was precisely what Gale had feared from everyone. They had already been far from pleased when he first told them about the orb… He knew it would be even worse when they inevitably learned the entire truth.
"Sorry," he said. "I should have said—"
"Of course you should!" Astarion lowered his eyes to Gale's chest. "Is it…?"
He didn't finish that sentence, but it was easy to guess what he was so worried about.
"It seems fairly stable for now," said Gale. "But I don't know when things could get worse."
Astarion jolted up, staring at Gale. "Gods, Gale! You can't hide something like that!"
"I know!" Gale lowered his head into his hand. "But I thought it was something temporary. I thought it would just…" He stopped, lightly shaking his head. "No, I didn't. I knew it wouldn't get better, but I… I couldn't say it."
A long silence grew between both of them. Astarion seemed restless, but Gale didn't try to reassure him — even if he tried, his words would sound empty.
"Very well…" Astarion sighed, facing him again. "I was saving some things to sell once I got to Baldur's Gate, but I suppose I could part ways with a few, if it will…"
He gestured toward Gale's chest. Without waiting for a response, he shook his head.
"What are you planning to do?"
Gale knew what he should say. That was the right time for him to leave… His best chance of making that difficult decision.
"See for how long I can keep it stable," he said, instead. "Fairly stable, at least. And then… I have no idea." He inhaled sharply, meeting Astarion's gaze. "But don't worry… If I realize the worst is about to happen, I'll make sure I am in a secluded enough place so no one but me is affected by it."
"I…" Astarion averted his gaze. "I see."
He said nothing else, then turned around, making his way back to the camp. Gale followed him with his gaze, then lowered his head, a faint ache in his chest. Well… Whatever it was they had between them, was probably ruined for good now. He wanted to blame the orb for everything he kept losing, but deep down, he knew he was the only one to blame.
Gods, he was tired… Not enough to surrender to his inevitable end, but… Maybe dangerously close to it.
He stayed there for a while longer, then, with a tired sigh, stood up, slowly walking his way back to camp. Once there, he couldn't help but glance toward Astarion's tent, finding him still awake, checking something among his belongings. The others seemed to be sound asleep… So, as quietly as he could, Gale lay on his bedroll. He closed his eyes, slowly letting out his breath.
"Gale."
He opened his eyes, once again not hearing Astarion's light steps until he was right beside him. Before Gale could say anything, Astarion offered him something, and Gale took it in his hand, immediately feeling the weave in it.
"Just for safety," said Astarion. "I would hate for you to explode in our camp. It would make a mess of everything."
Gale glanced at that ring, then closed his fingers around it. He looked at Astarion, offering him a slight smile.
"I'll try to avoid it."
"Please do." Astarion hesitated briefly. "And maybe try to get some sleep?" He pointed at Gale's chest. "You don't want to upset that thing more than you should."
Maybe the reason behind Astarion's actions was nothing but his self-preservation, but… Gale chose to believe that at least a small portion of it was genuine concern for him — at the very least, Astarion cared enough not to tell him to leave that same night.
"Thank you for the ring," said Gale.
Astarion dismissed his words with an annoyed gesture. "Just don't mention it again."
Gale had a strong urge to hold his hand and stop him from walking away. He just needed a hug… Someone to promise him that things would be fine, even if it wasn't quite true. It didn't even need to be Astarion… It could be anyone. He just needed it, even if for only a second.
But he did nothing, allowing Astarion to walk away toward his tent.