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They don't separate for the rest of the night. After they drop Ed's lovely fish off in the galley, Stede's trailed by him all through doing his last sweep of the ship, all through checking on the crew bunking down for the night, all through saying goodnight to Izzy, who's taken on more of the late watches now that Buttons has decided to go on sabbatical. Ed hangs back for that last one—understandable, Stede supposes.
He supposes, too, that it's about time he and Ed did some bunking down of their own. It thrills him, knowing Ed's just a step behind as Stede makes his way to his cabin, the jingle of Ed's collar loud in his ears to compete with Stede's pounding heart.
"Hey, uh," Ed says, presumably because he's noticed Stede hasn't turned him away yet. As if Stede would, ever again. "You're not going to make me sleep in the hold, are you? I don't know if you noticed, but it's kind of dark and damp down there. I think I even saw a spider or two."
"Spiders? On my ship?" For a moment, Stede lets the image of the hold covered in spiderwebs, thick as a shroud with Ed's body at the center of them, rise to the surface before brushing it away. "Well, never mind that. You'll stay with me, unless you have some objection….?"
Ed keeps following as Stede walks through his cabin door and lights a candle, one of the few he managed to retrieve from Izzy's training room. "No, no, no objection. The crew might, though. Probably respect you more if you locked me up at night, so I won't go wandering and freaking everybody out."
Stede's been realizing, lately, how much he still has to learn about Ed, how deep his trauma runs. But he knows enough to hear the insecurity behind Ed's chattering, and he turns around, taking both of Ed's hands in both of his.
"Well, I'm not the crew. You're staying right here," Stede says firmly, so there can be no doubt. He watches Ed's throat move as he processes that before adding, "Besides, maybe they'd prefer it this way. I can keep a personal eye on you, instead of worrying about you all night."
"Oh, well," Ed says, "if you're going to keep a personal eye on me, I guess that'll do it. No need for guard duty, you can't get a closer watch than that."
"Oh, shut up," Stede whispers. He drops one of Ed's hands to brush Ed's curls back behind his ear, because he can do that now. All his affection, everything he's been bottling up and sending out as messages on the waves, he can let it spill over now. All for Ed.
They kiss there in the candlelight, lips moving together, a little bit of tongue. This time, it's Ed pushing for more, but Stede holds firm, keeps his own hands from wandering too far.
"Anyway, you've got the collar on," Stede points out when they break apart. "That should be deterrent enough for any midnight shenanigans."
"True." Ed drops Stede's other hand and looks away, then back, tongue pressing against the back of his teeth. Stede can see it in the particular clench of his jaw. "Can I sleep in your bed with you tonight?"
It's such a simple ask, but seems at odds with Ed's earlier request, given what's likely to happen sooner or later. Given the things Stede longs to do with him.
He stares up into Ed's dark eyes, searching for answers. "I thought you wanted to take things slow."
Ed snorts and jerks away, a movement that sends the bell on his neck jangling wildly. "No—no, I mean, yeah, I do! That's not—that isn't what I meant! I just want to sleep, man."
"Really?" Stede asks.
A shrug from Ed, one-shouldered. "For now, anyway."
They grin at each other, Ed's a little shy, and then Ed nudges Stede's arm and says, "It was my bed while you were gone, anyway. Captain's bed. Might as well just keep sleeping there, if you'll have me. Captain."
Stede's cheeks flush hot as he remembers their conversation earlier, the way Ed gazed at him while Stede tried to pull himself together long enough to order Ed about. It's not something he's been used to, even in his time as the leader of this ship; he hopes he'll have a lot more time to get used to it.
"I'll have you," Stede says, instead of getting into all of that. "For as long as you like."
"Perfect," Ed says again, holding Stede's gaze.
Reluctantly—for both of them, Stede thinks—they break away to get ready for bed. Ed's ready first, stripping off his shoes and breeches with alarming speed while Stede's still finding something to wear besides his nice new burgundy shirt. If Ed likes it that much, he's certainly not going to get it all crumpled sleeping on it.
He ends up deciding to swap it out for his same old, formerly white linen shirt. By the time he's done that, and ducked into the wardrobe to change so as not to make Ed uncomfortable, and brought the candle closer to the bed, Ed's already lying down on his side, facing the wall and pressed about as close as he can get to it without actually squashing himself.
It seems to Stede that this must have been how Ed slept, the whole time he was here and Stede wasn't. Denying himself even the comfort of a blanket, unable to face the bleak room, the empty side of the bed where Stede should have been.
It pangs Stede's heart, to see Ed like that. Small. Hiding himself from the horrors he created. But they're trying to move forward, not back, and Stede can only do what he can for Ed in the here and now.
"Hey," Stede says. Ed startles a bit, the bell tinkling to echo his movements. "Is everything all right?"
"Eh." Ed's voice is muffled by his pillow. "Getting there, I suppose. The fishing with Fang helped. And Lucius pushed me off the ship, which I think was a really great bonding experience for everyone."
"Hmmm. Well, that makes sense. He was very upset." Stede blows out the candle and pulls the curtains shut tight, then climbs into bed. "Come here, get under the covers. You'll catch your death with your bare feet hanging out like that all night."
The bell jingles and jangles as Ed wiggles around, getting himself underneath the bedclothes he's currently lying on. He manages it at last, then, tentatively, turns over and slides into Stede's empty arms. Not empty anymore—they're full of Ed now, of his warm body and soft hair, of his sea wind, slightly fishy scent and his breath huffing out against Stede's neck.
"I love holding you," Stede says, before he can convince himself to hold back the words. "You feel good in my arms. Like we just fit together, you and I."
"Yeah?"
"The whole time I was looking for you, I thought about this."
Stede presses his lips to Ed's forehead to punctuate his point, then snuggles in deeper. Ed burrows in closer, too, his arms wrapping tighter around Stede's back.
"Well, you feel good in my arms. Warm. Solid." Ed snorts out a laugh into Stede's collarbone. "God, we're so fucking cheesy. And I even like that! I like being cheesy with you."
Stede smiles and strokes his fingers through Ed's hair. "I love being cheesy with you."
He starts drifting after that, until Ed shifts again, tangling his legs with Stede's, and the bell goes with him.
"Do I really have to wear this thing?" Ed grouses. "I was so good on probation today. Like, really good. And look at me, I'm not going anywhere, am I?"
"It's not up to me, it's up to the crew," Stede reminds him. Because it's better that way—if it was up to him entirely, he'd have put serious consideration to burning down the whole world if it meant having Ed safe with him. The crew are keeping both of their whims in check here. "We promised you'd wear it for now. I'm sure you'll be back to sneaking about and looking very cool in no time."
Then he squeaks as Ed rolls over and pins him to the mattress. "Oh, you don't think I look cool in my very cool cat collar?" Ed says, eyes glittering in the moonlight through the window. "I'll show you who can be cool."
Stede laughs, surges up to capture Ed's lips. He delights in exploring Ed's taste, the inside of his mouth, the shapes of his teeth.
They kiss until it all gets rather heated between them, and then Ed huffs out a laugh and rolls off of him, back to his earlier position plastered to Stede's side. Stede can't say a part of him isn't disappointed—insistently so—but Ed's right. It's nice to be patient, to anticipate what's still to come.
"You're very, very cool," Stede says into the space between them, once the bell has stopped. "I promise, I'll always think so. No matter what."
"You're cool. I mean that." Ed taps Stede on the nose at the very moment Stede feels his face scrunch up in protest. "Probably about time we got some shut-eye, though, eh, Mr. Captain?"
"Quite right." Stede shuts his eyes, then opens them again. "What will you do now, on the ship? If you're not captain anymore."
"I don't know," Ed muses. "Whatever you'll have me do, I suppose. It might be nice to figure that out together."
Stede smiles and squeezes Ed tight, lets his eyes drift closed again only when Ed's do. "Together it is."