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“I could feel it - your little shakes of excitement as I was getting lost in your neck,” he said smoothly, giving her a devilish grin. “I know you want me too.”
Tav shook her head. “You’re pretty and all, Astarion, but I don’t want to fuck you. No offense, of course - I just like to get to know someone before having sex with them.”
Astarion blinked. “Ah. I see.” She.. She didn’t want him? But she showed all the signs - spending time with him, showing concern over his injuries, she even let him drink from her, for hells sake! How could she not want him?
“We can still hang out, right? I’d love to get to know you better,” she said shyly, looking up at him from beneath her lashes.
“Of course, my dear,” he reassured, though his mind was spinning. “Now, if you’ll excuse me - I must go lick my wounds.”
“Lick your..” Her expression contorted. “Astarion, I’m not rejecting you. I’m just saying I don’t want to have sex with you right now.”
“Of course, darling, it’s just been quite some time since I’ve been turned down,” he said truthfully. Sex was the only thing most people wanted from him - the only thing he was good for. And she wanted something else. Something different. Sex he could do, but quality time? Romance had never been his forte.
He had intended to seduce her, to have her want him so badly she would never dream of kicking him out of her group, but she didn’t want him, not sexually at least. He didn’t know what to do, how to deal with this. People didn’t want more than sex from him, they never wanted more than sex from him, so why did she?
Tav placed a hand on his arm, making Astarion jolt. He looked at her, panic in his eyes. “Astarion.” She said softly. “I can feel your anxiety. Don’t worry so much, okay? I still want you, but for more than just sex. You don’t need to stress out about this, alright?”
He swallowed thickly and nodded his head, not quite trusting his voice. Gods, she was too good to him. She didn’t treat him like the monster he was, instead, she treated him like an equal, like a partner. Why? Why didn’t she see that he was a horrible being not worth all this fuss?
“Do you want to breathe with me, Astarion?” She said steadily. “I want you to breathe in with me, alright?” He tried to match her breath, staring into her eyes, her caring eyes. “Breathe out with me now, okay?”
After a few more breaths, his mind stopped swimming. “Thank you,” he said, trying desperately to keep the shakiness out of his voice. “You, ah.. I’m not quite sure what you did, or what that was, but thank you.”
She smiled softly. “Anytime. Does it help if I touch you?” Astarion looked down, noticing that her hand was still on his arm. He nodded silently, averting his gaze. “Alright. When I sense that you’re starting to get anxious, is it alright if I hold your arm like this?”
He nodded again, blood rushing to his cheeks, blood that belonged to her. Gods, he didn’t deserve this, deserve her. “I really should be going now,” he said, gently pulling his arm away. “I’d like to hunt before it turns dark - trying to test my abilities, get better at hunting during the day, you know how it is.”
She merely smiled and nodded, clearly not believing his bullshit, but accepting that he was finished with the conversation. She returned to the campfire, taking a seat beside Karlach. Astarion watched them from afar for a moment before turning away, leaving for a nearby clearing.
-
They had gotten in and out of the goblin camp fairly stealthily - surprising, given the giant-ass bear druid that Tav had insisted on rescuing. The three leaders had been fairly easy to defeat, as well, Karlach and Lae’zel making quick work of all of them.
The tieflings were incredibly grateful - so grateful, in fact, that they thanked Tav every chance they could get. Astarion too, for some odd reason, even though he hardly wanted to go through with the rescue at all.
It felt odd, being regarded as a hero to so many. He wasn’t a hero, he had never been a hero, even before he had been turned, he had been corrupt. It made him feel important, powerful, but not in a bad way. Unusual.
At the party, he mostly kept to himself, spare the occasional tiefling coming up to him to thank him. He had gone through a bottle of red wine already and was working on the second when Tav came up to him.
“Ah! Tav! So wonderful to see you!” He said, waving the bottle around. His mind felt fuzzy, but in a good way, like he could get whatever he wanted. “You know,” he mused aloud, “I never pictured myself as a hero.”
“Astarion, are you.. Drunk?” She asked, a smile tugging at her lips. “I didn’t know vampires could get drunk.”
“Well, they can,” he said with a huff. “There’s still blood running through my veins, after all, it just doesn’t belong to me.”
“Right, right. Go on.”
“I never thought I’d be the one they’d toast for saving so many lives.”
“And how does it feel?”
Astarion took a swig from the bottle. “I hate it. This is awful,” he drawled. And it did feel awful - it made him confused, like he didn’t know where he stood in the world anymore.
She crossed her arms, arching a brow. “Really? Saving lives is awful?”
“We didn’t really do much, though, did we? Killed some goblins, saved some tieflings, the tally of lives didn’t change much, and everyone’s acting like we raised the sun.”
“Well, for them, we kinda did. It was their livelihood we saved, after all. Their future. We made an impact on them.”
Astarion sniffed. “I suppose.”
She nudged him playfully. “You did a good thing. Suck it up and enjoy yourself.”
“How can I enjoy myself?” He complained petulantly. “All this hard work, and all I get is a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.” She grabbed the bottle and took a sip, smacking her lips contemplatively. He took it back, grimacing. “See what I mean? Positively vile.”
“I dunno, it wasn’t that bad.”
“Well, you’ve clearly never had good wine, then.”
“Maybe when we get to Baldur’s Gate you can show me,” Tav suggested.
Astarion disguised his surprise by taking another swig. “Yes, perhaps I shall. It would be a shame, after all, for one to go through life believing that this swill is ‘not that bad’.” He sighed. “I’m just looking for a little more excitement.” He grinned devilishly. “A little more.. Fun.”
“What, living in constant peril not exciting enough for you?”
He smiled. “Don’t be so sour! I like a good time as much as anyone.” He shifted closer, looking her up and down. She looked positively gorgeous - cheeks flush from the alcohol, pupils blown out. She was even wearing something other than the ratty street clothes she usually wore at camp. “You know, we could always make our own entertainment, darling. Get a little closer, so to speak.”
She grinned. “Maybe, if you say please.”
He blinked innocently, giving her the best seductive look he could muster. “Please?”
“Good boy,” she said impishly. “I’ll find you after the party’s over and we can escape, alright?”
“Cheeky little pup,” he commented with a grin. “I’ll see you tonight.”
True to her word, after everyone had retreated into their bedrolls, she sought him out, finding him in the forest where he usually hunted for his prey. “There you are,” he greeted, already stripped of his shirt. “I’ve been waiting. Waiting since the moment I set eyes on you. Waiting to have you.”
“Oh, um, I’m sorry, I - I didn’t realise you wanted to - to have sex,” Tav mumbled, averting her gaze. “I’m really sorry, Astarion, I’m - I’m still not ready.”
It was still odd, not being desired like that, but he had expected this reaction from her. “I didn’t lure you here under the impression you would allow me to take pleasure from you, darling, I know you better than that.” And he did. She wanted more from him than just sex - for whatever reason, she wanted a relationship with him, and, oddly enough, he wanted one from her. “Regardless, I would like us to be intimate - just not that intimate. Would that be alright?”
She smiled. “Of course.” Tav leaned forward and grabbed his hair, pulling him in for a kiss. He responded immediately, pressing his lips against hers. They were so warm, so soft, so delicate. He wondered for a moment how she must have felt, kissing a vampire, his lips cold and lifeless, but his train of thought was cut short by her legs wrapping around his waist.
He hoisted her up and pressed her against a tree, trying to be gentle so as not to tear her clothes against the bark, but he was finding it difficult to hold back.
She pressed him forward, straddling him, and although it was such a provocative position, his mind wasn’t filled with thoughts of sex, but with thoughts of intimacy.
“You can drink from me if you’d like,” she offered shyly, “just hold me afterwards.” She tilted her head back, exposing her neck - her delicious, gorgeous neck.
“With pleasure,” he rumbled, lunging at her and burying his fangs in her flesh. He sucked greedily, arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her close. She was warm against him, and he could feel her heartbeat both in her neck and in her chest. His heart was long dead, but she didn’t care about that, she just wanted him.
He pulled away, panting, as Tav collapsed onto his chest. She wrapped him in an embrace, burying her face in his neck, nose against the bite wounds, as her breathing slowed.
“Sleep well, my love,” he whispered softly, pressing his lips into her hair. He was more than content to hold her, to watch her chest move up and down, for the rest of the night.