Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was a dark and stormy night.

At least, it might have been. It could’ve been clear and starry. Hell, for all Casey Jones Jr knew, it could’ve been the middle of the day. 

I need to move. 

Casey got up from his hastily thrown-together bed and walked out of his hastily thrown-together room. 

After the invasion, Donnie drove in an extra abandoned subway car while Mikey, Leo, and Raph gave him some of their leftover clothes and clutter. 

“To make it feel like yours,” was Raph’s explanation. 

And Casey didn’t really mind. In fact, he found it sweet and comforting in the moment.

But it’s been a month since they saved the world - Since I trapped Leo in the prison dimension - since April finished her first year of college, and he’s started feeling… apathetic? detached? Yeah, he’s felt detached.

Detached from himself.

From his emotions.

From his room.

From the people around him.

Instead of feeling comforted by Leo’s Jupiter Jim posters, Raph’s blanket, Mikey’s lava lamp, and Donne’s Nintendo Switch, he felt almost like an intruder.

This stuff wasn’t his. Sure, Master Leonardo used to talk about Jupiter Jim, but Casey had never seen one of the films. Raph’s blanket was comfortable, but Casey never knew Raphael in the other timeline. Mikey’s lava lamp was meant to be peaceful, but it started looking like the Kraang-infested skies that Master Michelangelo would spend hours staring at. And Donnie’s Switch looked like fun, but Uncle Tello never had the means to teach Casey how to play video games.

Point being, the room didn’t belong to Casey. Not really. 

He knew he wasn’t supposed to be here. Not just because he was from an alternate timeline-slash-universe-slash-whateverelsedonniesays. The Casey Jones of this timeline hasn’t even been born yet, so what exactly was his place here?

What was it Master Leonardo said to him once?

‘Don’t start fights you can’t finish’? No… C’mon Casey, think. ‘Y’know Case-’

“Casey.”

“What!” Casey jumped, spinning around to see who spoke. “Holy hell dude, make some noise next time.”

“Sorry, man,” Mikey replied as he leaned closer. “Why are you wandering around in the dark?”

“Oh, nothing, just… taking a walk. Couldn’t sleep so I thought maybe walking would tire me out.”

“Yep, sounds about right! Seems as though half of our family suffers from insomnia, Leo and Donnie included. Adding you makes three! You could be the three ghosts that haunt Ebe-Splinter Scrooge in his dreams,” Mikey laughed as he started walking into the kitchen, illuminated yellow by the fridge light.

“Um… what?” Casey was so confused. First, who is Scrooge? Who are the three ghosts? And also, how was he still in the lair? 

I guess my thoughts were going faster than my feet? But it felt like such a long time… then again I’m glad I didn’t actually wander the sewers at… night? 

“Wait… what time is it?”

Mikey glanced back at him as he poured himself some coffee because seriously, They’re both awake? “Hm? Oh, like 4am. I just figured it’s too late in the morning to fall back asleep so I’d just stay awake.”

“And Donnie?” Casey questioned.

“I usually run on caffeine and power naps. You?”

“Just walking,” he sighed as he slumped into a chair. His chair that didn’t quite match the others. The addition, he thought to himself.

“Actually, a walk doesn’t sound too bad,” Donnie started. “It’s a good way to casually exercise, and it should help tire us out.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Mikey agreed. “We can wait for the sunrise!”

The walk to the surface was peaceful, with Donnie tapping away at his wrist tech, Mikey humming to himself, and Casey paying attention to which parts of the sewers they walked through.

The surface, however, was not what he was expecting. It was…

“Is this… rain?”

Casey’s jaw dropped as he looked around the dark alley, up past the dark buildings, into the dark sky.

Okay, not much to see from down here, but it felt like something wet was falling from the sky so it’s gotta be raining, right?

“C’mon Case, hurry!” Mikey yelled as he and Donnie started climbing the fire escapes.

Casey quickly followed, wanting a better view of the sky for this. He clambered up the side of the building after the turtles and took in the view.

It was mesmerizing. He’d never seen something so dark and beautiful like this before. The lights of New York City were shining in blurred reflections on the buildings. The sounds of cars were muffled by water splashing against the rooftops. The summer heat that had been building for days finally cooled as Casey Jones Jr stood underneath a shower of rain for the very first time.

“It’s beautiful,” he breathed.

He couldn’t tell if the wetness on his face was salty or fresh, but in the end, it didn’t matter. The three of them were content to just let themselves get soaked to the bone, hoodies clinging to their skin like sloppy hugs while in the distance, the echo of a familiar tune pulsed between the buildings.

Dripping water onto the kitchen floor was not good for Raph’s health, apparently. As the three of them walked to breakfast after hours of waiting for the sunrise in on-and-off showers, the red turtle just about had an aneurysm. 

“You could catch a cold! You could slip and fall! What if you hit your head and PASS OUT!?”

“Sorry, Raph. We just went for a walk and got caught in the rain,” the box turtle said as he leaned against the snapping turtle’s arm.

Raph groaned and rolled his eyes. “Just get cleaned up, you three. Then come eat breakfast. It’ll just be us four since Dad’s watching Leo in the med bay.”

Cleaning up was a quick affair, and he soon found himself around the kitchen table with Raph, Mikey, and Donnie.

“So you all just decided to take a walk? This early in the morning, and in the rain no less? You could’ve caught a cold!”

“Well you see, we originally went for the sunrise this morning. But as it happens, at precisely 4:19 this morning, Casey witnessed rain for the first time. It was truly marvelous,” Donnie replied.

“Yeah, I kinda feel like a proud parent right now!” Mikey enthused.

And the three of them kept rambling on, but to Casey it sounded like they were underwater. Because what did Mikey just say?

Parent.

‘I kinda feel like a proud parent right now.’

‘You don’t understand Dee! I can’t be a parent! What if I mess up? What if I hurt him? What if I die?’

‘Calm down, Nardo. If Casey left him to you, that means she believed in you. You’re not alone.’

‘Awww guys look! Junior learned how to swing chucks! He reminds me of me.’

‘He’s just as bad as you were when you started, Michael.’

‘Shut up Dee, Leon thinks it’s great! I just wish Raph were here. He’d love to see this.’

‘Casey!’

“Casey!”

Casey jolted his head up to find the four turtles staring back at him.

“You good, Case?” asked Mikey.

“Huh? Oh, um, yeah sorry I just zoned out for a minute.” He shook off the memories and focused back on the other four.

“That must’ve been one daydream, dude, we’ve been calling your name for ages, ” Mikey quipped.

“Not ages, Michael, we only called his name three times,” Donnie corrected.

“Sooooo what were you thinking about?” 

You.

“Whether or not ghosts can wander around or if they’re only tied to one place.”

“Well, with the right technology, you theoretically could-”

Raph interrupted Donnie’s beginnings of an info dump with, “Okay, well I’m gonna go check on Leo and make sure Dad eats. Mikey come with me so we can change your bandages.”

Donnie sipped his tea as the two walked from the kitchen. His leg bounced with an awkward sort of tension, eyes flickering around as if they didn’t know what to focus on. But never on himself, he noticed. He looked a little upset as he swirled his spoon around his cereal.

Casey took a bite of his own soggy breakfast.

“Tell me about ghosts, Tello.”

And so the day went on with Casey learning all about ghosts, which effectively gave Donnie a much-needed break from his lab.

The explosions were loud, and his whole body ached from all the running he’s done today. He had to keep going, though.

He had to survive.

Keep running.

Get to shelter.

The arm slug around his shoulder started to slip.

“I’ve got you, Sensei. Stay with me!” he shouted.

He wasn't sure Leonardo could hear him over both of their panting breaths. It was getting harder to breathe on the surface, especially when running for your life.

“You’re a life saver, Casey Jones,” was Master Leonardo’s reply.

Casey gave the command for his mask to lift.

“I learned from the best. Come on, we’re almost there.”

Close, but were they close enough? He could see the head of what was once the Statue of Liberty, now just more rubble from the war.

And now, apparently, a hub for Kraang hounds.

He ducked, ready for an attack he didn't have the energy to fight off, but it never came.

“Bad doggies!” echoed a shout as the hounds were blasted out of the air by yellow mystic energy.

Leonardo chuckled. “Impeccable timing, little brother. Very dramatic.”

Before his eyes, glowing chains appeared in the air, and as they circled around each other, Casey’s eyes widening as Michelangelo slid into existence in the midst of them, like some sort of mystic squeegee. 

Of course he now recognized the chains as Michelangelo’s mystic abilities as they spread out and pierced Kraang armor all around them.

So Casey set down his sensei as Michelangelo floated over to them.

“Help him, Michelangelo,” he begged, “He’s hurt bad.”

He watched as Michelangelo quickly scanned over his brother’s injuries. A black eye and a stab to the plastron were the most obvious, with the stab wound the most concerning.

But it didn't seem to matter to Leonardo because-

“That’s it,” he interrupted. “The resistance failed. The Kraang won. But… but it isn’t over. We’ve still got a ninja’s greatest weapon: hope. That, and a badass mystic warrior.” He was staring directly into his brother’s eyes now, a sort of resigned determination in his expression. “Mikey, we need a time gateway.”

And now Casey was lost because what is he talking about?

Yet Michelangelo seemed to know what he was talking about because without missing a beat he warned, “It’ll take everything I have.”

“I know, but this is our last chance,” Leonardo groaned out. “It’s our only chance.”

Michelangelo nodded and floated away, and “Wait, what’s going on? Where is he going?” 

Casey's thoughts were going a mile a minute. What are they talking about and why will it take everything he has and what do I do and-

“Casey, listen.” The turtle quickly interrupted his thoughts to explain how the Kraang entered their world through a mystic doorway with a key that was stolen and apparently now time travel is possible? “The people who stole that key opened the doorway for the Kraang. You have to find it before that happens. Find the key, stop the Kraang.”

“But, Sensei-”

Leonardo gripped Casey’s shoulder with a fierce determination. There was no room for argument. “Say it!”

Casey took a deep breath.

“Find the key, stop the Kraang.”

His sensei’s mech arm patted his shoulder. That arm that should be warm, but was cold. Should be soft, but was hard. Yet despite all of that, it was still gentle. Even as the world was coming to an end, with his last remaining family about to say their goodbyes, that heavy, metal arm was caring and full of years of love. 

“I don’t want to lose you,” Casey choked out.

“Casey, it’s not about me.”

He opened his mouth to say more but was interrupted by Kraang mechs landing around them, charging their laser eyes to blast them to oblivion.

“Mikey!” the older brother called.

Casey glanced over to see Michelangelo surrounded by the most mystic energy he’s ever seen gathered in one place. But the energy wasn't just surrounding him, it was coming from him, from cracks starting in his hands and quickly spreading up his arms. Michelangelo groaned as he struggled to rip open a portal, flaking away at the seams.

“Master Michelangelo, no! You’re gonna-”

He stopped mid-sentence, again, because Michelangelo turned back to look at him, giving him one last smile and a wink before ripping open the portal and shattering into thousands of glowing yellow shards of energy.

And despite the chaos raging around him, despite all the pain he felt in his chest, Casey could silently admit to himself that the two of them were left staring at the most brilliant golden light they’ve ever seen. 

This beautiful golden portal was all that remained of his uncle, the kindest person he’s ever known.

And he thought to himself, This must be what it feels like to bask in the warmth of the sun. And not the cruel thing that beats down upon this barren wasteland. But the sun that existed before the Kraang. The sun that provided comfort. Life. The promise of a new beginning.

He barely noticed the hand landing on his soldier and the voice saying “Casey, when you’re done saving the world, do me a favor. Grab a slice!”

And then he’s launched into the air towards the portal, wind whipping his hair around his face.

He watched as Master Leonardo, his teacher, his guardian, his last remaining family, was ambushed by Kraang hounds as a mech aimed its charged up laser right at him.

And it was too much. 

Too much to see his last remaining family die, falling to ashes.

Too much to know that he has no one left.

Too much to realize that every attempt at saying goodbye to the family he loved was interrupted.

Because how is someone supposed to move on after this? How do you pick yourself up? How are you supposed to win the war when the only people who even had a chance at winning are gone?

As Casey Jones fell through the portal, his heart shattered into pieces, echoing his uncles’ cries from just a minute earlier. 

He pictured them both smiling at him, at the very end of the world, and he knew what they wanted for him.

He knew what he needed to do.

Find the key.

Stop the Kraang.

Find the key.

Stop the Kraang,

The words still echoed in his mind as he opened his eyes to the darkness of his bedroom.

The dreams wouldn’t stop, and of course when he really thought he could get in a decent nap his stupid brain showed him his most hurtful memory.

So, giving up on sleep, he walked around the lair.

To check on his family.

But not the family he grew up with. Not the masters of ninjutsu he knew.

These people were his age, not his uncles. They haven’t fully mastered their mystic powers yet.

So how did he fit in with them?

They seemed to consider him family, but he was starkly aware of the difference that held for them than it did for him.

He's neither their ward nor their nephew. They weren’t worn down by decades of fighting a losing war. But they're not... not their future counterparts. Leo still had the same smile and humor as Master Leonardo. Mikey still had that special brand of comfort only he can provide, like Master Michelangelo. Donnie was still as headstrong and genius as Uncle Tello was. And.... well, Casey had never really known his Uncle Raphael in his own timeline, but from the stories he grew up with, Raph was no different than he was in the future.

So what was holding him back? Why did he feel like any decision he made would be the wrong one?

Why didn’t he know where he belonged?

But he pushed those thoughts aside as he saw Master Splinter snoring in his chair with the projector running a blank screen. He turned off the projector, pulled a blanket over the rat, and walked on.

Casey didn't know what to make of Master Splinter. He never knew him - his sensei said he’d died early on trying to protect them. Although the rat isn’t at all what Casey expected, he supposed anyone who raised and cared for the turtles couldn’t be half bad.

He got to Raph’s room and silently poked his head inside. The snapper was grumbling in his sleep, in a way that told Casey he was unsettled. But otherwise he looked okay, and he wasn’t exactly restless. Casey couldn’t blame him, really, sleep has been hard to come by for all of them since the invasion.

So Casey walked on some more and found Mikey’s room empty. That hasn’t been unusual this past month, since he could usually be found by Leo’s bedside. The box turtle has shown the most worry for his older brother this past month, almost never leaving Leo alone at night, keeping vigil in case he wakes up fully.

In the med bay.

Casey decided to go there last.

So before heading to the med bay, he stopped by Donnie’s room, also empty and also not unusual. Donnie’s lab was right around the corner with the lights on, and the sound of keyboard clicks filled the air as he approached the purple lab.

He knew not to interrupt Donnie when he’s working. Especially after the invasion, the softshell still has a lot of repairs to complete. Casey worried about him just as much as the others, but he didn't have the energy for the amount of visual and auditory stimulation that comes with being in the lab. Just knowing that Donnie was still here was enough for Casey at the moment. Even though they all should be resting.

He knew that Donnie and Leo have the worst insomnia in the family - even in the apocalypse the two of them rarely slept. But right now it feels like Casey could give them a run for their money. Holy hell is he tired.

Med bay it is, then, Casey thought to himself. I just can’t seem to avoid it, can I?

The med bay lights were dimmed when he arrived outside. He took a fortifying breath and quietly slid open the doors.

Just like he thought, Mikey was sitting next to Leo’s bed, keeping sentry over his older brother. But his attention was shifted when he heard the door.

“Casey,” Mikey whispered, “What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep,” Casey whispered back.

“Come in, then.”

He hesitated, but Mikey gave him that characteristic warm, I’d-never-judge-you smile, and he caved easily.

In the month he’s been here, he’s gotten more than just acquainted with the med bay. Since Leo was down for the count, it was up to Casey and Donnie to head the medical treatment as the remaining two with the most experience. Due to that, Casey could find his way around the med bay blind.

But that didn’t mean he liked being in here. Or that he liked seeing the remaining occupant of the room.

So Casey approached Mikey with eyes turned down, avoiding looking at the red-eared slider.

“So, couldn’t sleep?” Mikey asked.

“Bad dream, so I gave up.”

“What about?”

Casey hesitated a bit before answering. “You.”

“...Me? You mean future me?”

“It- it was about my timeline. The apocalypse. The- the day yo- I mean, Master Michelangelo, sent me here.”

“I’m sorry, Casey. You must miss them,” Mikey whispered.

Mikey’s expression fell as he looked down to his hands. To the bandages that covered the scars that were identical to Master Michelangelo’s final moments.

From the way Mikey was looking at his bandages, Casey didn’t know if he'd put together the cost that Master Michelangelo paid to open a time portal. But Casey wouldn’t put it past the orange turtle. Especially after almost paying the same price to get Leo back.

Nevertheless, Casey couldn’t let Mikey wallow like this. “Don’t look down, Mikey. I’ve told you before, it wasn’t you or your fault. It was the other yous. It was their decision to send me back and fix things. I don’t regret that.”

“Maybe you don’t regret it,” Mikey whispered in reply, “but it’s clearly affected you in negative ways.” MIkey looked him in the eyes now. “It’s no secret that you haven’t been sleeping well, or haven’t totally come to terms with being here.”

Casey met his eyes head on.

“I’d do it all again if it meant you’d be saved.”

The atmosphere in the room was heavy as the two of them listened to the sound of Leo’s heart monitor. Mikey knew he couldn’t refuse Casey’s sentiment because they both knew what it meant to make sacrifices.

And he couldn’t tell Casey how he should be feeling, but the boy’s words kept ringing in his ears. How were he and his brothers supposed to deal with the cards they’d been dealt when it felt like the dealer rigged the game?

How do they reconcile with the feeling of being saved then they’re the ones supposed to do the saving?

Leo shifted slightly in the bed, giving Casey the chance to slip away back to his own room while Mikey was distracted.

Chapter Text

Casey used to know what his purpose was. Or more accurately, what he was supposed to be doing.

Simply, he was supposed to survive.

More complexly, that included taking care of not just himself, but those younger than him as well. 

He quickly learned that he needed to eat fast, because he never knew who would try to take his portions.

Casey also very quickly learned that if there wasn’t enough food to feed everyone, it resulted in a fight. 

It was important to grow up and take care of himself as soon as possible. 

It slowed everyone down if he couldn’t run on his own.

He would get hurt if he didn’t prove himself. 

It killed people if he wasn’t aware of his surroundings.

Casey knew all of this, and eventually he realized how odd it was for the leaders of the resistance, the most important and busy people alive, to take a young child under their wings.

Casey was seven years old when the four ninja turtles adopted him.

So Casey also grew to learn love and belonging.

But that was the Casey of before.

The Casey of after, of now, doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be doing.

There was nothing to run from.

There was food on the table.

There was nothing hiding in the shadows, waiting until he lowered his guard to jump out and strike a fatal blow.

His world had flipped upside down, and he had no idea how he fit in it.

This wasn’t his normal.

He’d never had a day where it was okay to just “relax and do nothing”.

He didn’t know how to feel now that people were telling him that he could.

It felt like he’d been split in two, as if his body was in one plane of reality where the Kraang were defeated and everyone survived, but his mind was back in the apocalypse where the Kraang won and he was fighting for his life more often than not.

How was he supposed to reconcile these two parts of himself?

How would he learn to move past it?

Was that even possible?

He saw enemies lurking around every corner.

Demons hid in the shadows.

Loud noises meant danger, and silence was the calm before the storm.

Logically, Casey knew he was safe in the lair. Donnie had layered the subways with more security than even their base in the apocalypse, but his body wouldn’t let him relax.

He’s lived his whole life in fight or flight mode; he felt like he would unravel if he let go of the tension, like a frayed rope left untied to hang in the breeze.

He just needed someone to see how he was barely hanging on, lost without another half to connect to.

Maybe then he could find his place in this new-old world. 

Raph, Mikey, Donnie, and Casey weren’t doing much, just hanging out at the lair’s makeshift living room. Casey stared at the wall as he thought about the past month.

The lair wasn’t too destroyed after the Kraang found it. At least the damage wasn’t as bad as they said it was after the Shredder. April said that she and Splinter had escaped soon enough that Kraang Sister didn’t feel the need to dig through the place.

But despite that, there were still damages and repairs to go over. Donnie’s been working himself to the bone trying to improve the lair’s security systems, structural integrity, and anything else that could be easily damaged like piping and central heating and electricity and whatever else he could be heard mumbling about. 

There were also more simple tasks that still needed to be done, like stocking up on food and medical supplies and reorganizing the lair, but those tasks kept being pushed back for some reason. No one really wanted to go out despite knowing how important it was.

Casey also kept thinking about April. She was around a lot immediately following the invasion, but since then has basically been put on house arrest by her parents. He couldn’t blame them, an alien invasion was scary, especially when you know your daughter is a fighter and spends her free time with her less-than-normal-human friends. She’d sneak out when she could, but he missed her presence and uncanny ability to read the turtles and know exactly how to help.

But most of all, he thought of Leo. How he sacrificed himself and how Casey locked him there with barely a protest. And of course he’s happy that Leo was back, but he was hurt so badly that they all didn’t even know if he would pull through when they first brought him home.

Treating Leo’s wounds were some of the worst hours of his life, knowing that the worst of them came from his time in the prison dimension. Stuck with Kraang Prime. No way to escape. But he got Leo stabilized and fixed up everyone else, and gave them all the rundown on how to take care of each other and then promptly left for the tunnels to break down for the next hour or so.

Leo spent the first week and a half in a coma, partly due to the physical trauma and partly because everyone was afraid he would move too much and not allow his most severe injuries to heal if he was awake. The following weeks were marked by Leo slowly waking up in varying states of lucidity. Casey had set alerts for whenever it happened, but once he was sure that the turtle didn’t need constant supervision, his own visits decreased drastically.

Casey had felt so guilty about the whole ordeal ever since, that he rarely found himself in the med bay if he could help it.

Maybe the guilt was what was keeping him up at night.

He hadn’t been sleeping much and his head hurt.

“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout, Case?” Raph asked.

He was pulled from his thoughts as his head was given a pat.

“Hm, what?”

“Dude, you’ve been spacing out all day,” Mikey noted.

“Yeah, are you okay, Casey?”

“’m fine.”

“Sure,” was Donnie’s response to that.

“That’s not how you’re supposed to say that when you’re actually fine,” Mikey clarified. “What’s really going on?”

“Nothing, I’m fine!”

“Again, wrong!”

“Donnie, don’t force him to talk if he doesn’t want to,” Raph chastised.

“You’re so strong, it’s weird to see you so withdrawn, Casey. We want to help,” Mikey enthused.

Casey was tired. He was really tired and he hadn't gotten proper rest in a couple nights, and now Mikey was being Really Nice Mikey and it was too similar to his nightmares and too much for his barely-functioning brain.

Help him, Michelangelo.

A single tear slipped down his cheek, as if it had become as restless as his mind.

“Casey? Are you hurt?” Raph asked, starting to worry about the human’s silence.

“I don’t necessarily think he’s hurt…”

He’s hurt bad.

Why were they all looking at him like that? 

Why was Raph holding him?

Why was Raph shaking?

Oh.

That’s just him.

He’s shaking.

But he couldn’t do anything about it as he held his breath, wanting the vibrations wracking his body to stop.

They were talking to him, either trying to figure out if he was okay or reassuring him that he would be okay.

But he knew that if he opened his mouth there’d be more than one tear on his face and he couldn’t have that.

But everyone was so worried about him, he couldn't pretend to be okay after this.

He started to curl in on himself, eyes darting around the room.

He felt Mikey right next to him, a hand resting comfortingly against his back.

Mikey and Raph were discussing something, but still watching him.

Donnie was farther back from the rest, scratching at his elbows while watching everything happening.

But Casey’s fine , he’s just feeling a little detached. 

You caused this. They’re worrying about you now when they have important tasks to be focusing on. You interrupted their time together. This never happened before you arrived. You’re a nuisance.

But they care about me?

But they’re not the turtles you knew. 

I miss them.

I knew who I was with them, before.

I don’t know who I am here.

“Casey,” Mikey is whispering in his ear.

He didn’t realize he started rocking.

“Tell us what’s wrong.”

His eyes went toward Donnie, still standing away from the others who have moved closer to him. Donnie was fidgeting and rubbing his hands up and down his arms.

Casey waved to get Donnie’s attention.

He brought his right hand to his chin pointed towards the sky, circling it between himself and Donnie.

Donnie gasped and moved forward to join their little circle.

“What is it, Dee?” Raph asked.

“I- I think… 

Casey then made the sign for help, at which point Donnie cracked a small smile.

“It’s ASL.”

“What is he signing?”

“ Help and lonely . But his face is blank, so that makes it hard to determine tone. And he’s staring at me and circling it between himself and me, so that makes it hard to determine if he’s talking about me or to me.”

Casey’s arm is tired. He lowers it.

Casey’s brain is tired. He lowers his head to the nearest surface: Raph’s shoulder.

Raph held his head as Mikey asked, “How does he know ASL?”

“Well, it’s a very useful skill to have, Michelangelo, for many reasons. You all know that I know ASL, adapted for our three fingers instead of five, but sign language nonetheless. And I tried to teach the rest of you. The question is… who taught him?”

“Hey, we got the basics at least,” Mikey replied.

“Clearly, we need to learn more than the basics, Mikey,” Raph said, “Now that we know two people who use it.”

“Great idea, Raphael, I can get started on putting together my presentation, oh wait, I don’t need to because it’s already-”

Casey missed the last of Donnie’s sarcastic rant as he yawned so hard he could hear the blood rushing in his ears.

“Aww, look how tired he is,” came a high voice.

“I’ll take him to his room, hopefully he’ll feel better after some rest and can tell us what that was all about.”

Raph stood with Casey in his arms and started walking down the hall. 

The rocking was nice, and the snapper’s arms were warm and strong.

It felt like the universe had wrapped him in a warm, fuzzy blanket.

The last thing Casey heard as he slipped into darkness was Raph humming a comforting tune that resonated with his soul.

Casey struggled to wake up. He hadn’t had such a peaceful sleep in… who can even say. 

His sense of touch came back first.

I’m in a bed? With a really soft blanket it seems. Feels nice. The pillow feels like mine, though, so this must be my room. But… what is that noise?

It sounded like everything was muffled, as if he was underwater. But he could tell it was voices, so he fought to wake up his hearing.

“-wakes up.”

“He needs space.”

“I know, but I also need to know how he knows ASL and what he was trying to say.”

“We’re all curious, but he clearly didn’t want to talk before so you shouldn’t push him.”

Casey thought back to… last night? He didn’t know what time it was, that was too much for his sleep-addled brain. However, he did manage to remember feeling extremely detached from his body and Donnie, for some reason in stark detail compared to everything else. 

That’s right. He was overwhelmed, so I wanted to help.

Casey let out a small sigh as he tried to fall back asleep.

He was kept awake, however, by someone tapping his shoulder and whispering “Casey? I think he’s waking up guys!”

He blinked open his eyes to see Mikey leaning over him.

“Hey Case, how ya feeling?”

He yawned in response.

“Haha, I’ll bet. You were out all night and most of the day. Here’s some water.”

Casey chugged the water as he looked around.

“The med bay?” he asked.

“Leo threw a fit and wanted to make sure you were okay. We didn’t want to move him so we moved you instead,” came Donnie’s response. 

All the turtles were in there. They must’ve been really worried. And the extra fuzzy blanket was one of those knotted fleece ones. This one was blue and purple.

“So, how are you feeling?” Leo repeated Mikey’s earlier question from across the room.

Casey looked back at him. Then he scanned the other three. They all looked a mix of worried and curious.

But again, his focus went straight to Donnie.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Raph asked, sensing his hesitance.

He shrugged.

“How about we ask yes or no questions?” Mikey pitched.

Casey nodded.

“Are you feeling better now?” Raph started.

He nodded yes.

“Was that a panic attack last night?”

He hummed non-committedly. Honestly, he didn’t know what happened. It just felt… off.

“It seemed like one, but we can focus on that later. Do you know what triggered it?”

He shrugged again.

“Was it Mikey being pushy?”

“Hey!”

He glanced at the orange turtle and shook his head. No, it wasn’t Mikey’s fault. It was just his brain being stupid.

Donnie waved his hand to get Casey’s attention.

‘Do you understand this?’ he signed.

Casey’s lips tipped into a small smile.

‘Yes,’ he signed back.

Now it was Donnie’s turn to smile.

‘How did you learn ASL?’

‘Uncle Tello taught me.’

Casey used Uncle Tello’s name sign, one that he told Casey his friends picked for him, and he could see that that made Donnie really excited.

He must’ve received it really early on. I wonder how often he interacts with the Deaf community that they assigned him one?

The pair of them started signing away more fervently, having a conversation that the other three couldn’t follow.

Casey was feeling better. He felt more whole communicating with Donnie like this. Even though neither of them are deaf, this is something they have in common. 

Despite Casey learning ASL from an uncle that didn’t exist anymore, Donnie’s enthusiasm for the language hadn’t changed at all. He was so obviously excited that he finally had someone he can communicate fluently with that Casey felt at peace for the first time in days.

Communicating with Donnie like this was an emotional recharge. His shoulders relaxed and his heart rate slowed. This was familiar.

After a while of watching, Leo finally decided to interrupt.

“Sorry to interrupt guys, but we still have some questions…”

“Oh, right, sorry brother, but I was finally speaking with someone who cares about the important things.”

“We get it Donnie, we’ll practice.”

“ Any way, you look better already, Case,” Raph said.

“I feel better.”

“Can we ask what happened last night?” came from Mikey.

“Well if you three had been practicing like I wanted you to, you’d know that dear Casey already answered these questions,” Donnie grumbled.

“What? That’s what you guys were talking about?” Leo sounded surprised.

“You guys don’t know ASL?” Casey was shocked.

“Yeah no, that’s mainly Don’s thing. He tried to teach us but we quit after the basics. None of us could focus enough.”

“WHAT? But… but everyone in the apocalypse knows ASL, it was a requirement! Uncle Tello would teach when he had the time, obviously, but from what Sensei told me it was Uncle Raph who was the best teacher, and then Master Michelangelo after he died.”

“Wait, Casey, you’re saying that we were all fluent in ASL in the future?”

“Yes!”

“HA! I knew it!” came Donnie’s reply. “I knew I would force you all to learn eventually, relishing chuckle.”

“Raph is very happy for you, Donnie.” 

Okay, that was obviously sarcastic, even Casey could tell.

“I keep telling you all it’s a useful skill and you should learn.”

“Of course it’s useful! It’s how we mainly communicate when we’re moving above ground trying to sneak past Kraang and opposing gangs and stuff. I can’t believe you guys don’t know! Do you just shout at each other during missions instead of sneaking around using a SILENT LANGUAGE?! How do you have conversations when you don’t want eavesdroppers listening in?! How do you COMMUNICATE WITH DONNIE when he’s nonverbal?!”

“Case, it’s not that big a deal, we’re not in an apocalypse here,” Leo tried placating the teen, but it only ended up backfiring.

“But what about Donnie, Leo? You’re more than just brothers, you’re a team. You’re twins. I don’t expect you to feel the same about me since you’re not my Leonardo, but I thought you’d at least care enough about Donnie to communicate with him.”

Casey cast a disappointed gaze over the turtles, ending with a curious look to Donnie. The soft shell looked taken aback by Casey’s intense defense of him. 

Donnie met his eyes and Casey gave a look that said I understand you.

Because he did. He knew how mean people can be when you couldn’t differentiate between tone inflections or pick up on certain social cues.

Casey heard a lot of people talking about Uncle Tello behind his back, even when there were much more important things to be focusing on. 

And once Casey started defending his uncle, the people started talking about himself instead.

The silence in the room was loud, filled with guilt and concern, and something else that he couldn’t quite place.

They all were thinking over what the boy had just said. He could see in their eyes that his words hit home. But from the way Leo was avoiding Donnie’s gaze, Mikey was blinking back tears, and Raph had a look that said he’s failed as an older brother…

“I… I’m sorry guys, I shouldn’t have been so harsh.” Casey rubbed the back of his neck as he turned slightly away.

“No, you’re right Casey,” Raph replied. “We needed to hear that.” The snapping turtle met Donnie’s awkward, downcast gaze. “We should’ve been more attentive, Dee. And as the oldest brother, I should’ve made sure we all stayed on track. We apologize.”

Donnie’s eyes were shining. He’s not used to that kind of blatant acknowledgement of his needs. The four of them have grown up together, so for their whole lives it was just something that had always been. After some guess and check and a whole lot of research, Donnie learned how to deal with his sensory issues, but it was such a gradual change for his brothers that they knew how to adjust without much being explicitly said.

“We love you, Donnie. We never want you to feel pushed aside or forgotten,” Mikey sniffled.

Donnie’s eyes were steadily widening with each word from his brothers.

“I promise, Don,” Leo said as he took a couple steps toward Donnie, “I’ll be the best student you’ve ever had. If you still want to teach us.”

To hear so explicitly that his brothers loved him and wanted to help accommodate his needs, Donnie’s eyes shimmered with tears on the verge of falling. His gaze was locked onto Leo, who understood that message very clearly. Leo took the last few steps to his twin and wrapped his arms around the purple turtle.

Red and orange were quick to follow.

As Casey turned around to give them space, he felt a mechanical arm drag him back to add to the hug.

“The same goes for you, Case,” Raph said softly. “Whatever you need, we’re here for you.”

“Third time’s the charm, bud. Can you tell us what triggered that panic attack?”

“It’s not that big of a deal, really. It’s just… I left behind so many people. My family, my friends, the whole world. They were everything to me, and it’s like I left a part of myself there with them, like… like I’ve been torn in two. Like half of my soul is still there. ”

Casey didn’t think there were words that could fully encompass what he’s been feeling, but those would have to do.

That hole in his chest wasn’t going away any time soon, he knew. It was a part of him now, influencing his thoughts and emotions, the same way that experiences and the memories formed from them influence someone’s personality.

Casey would always feel this hollowness. It echoed through his bones to the very roots of what makes him Casey Jones.

He knew that growing up in an apocalypse wasn’t the childhood most people want for themselves, much less their children. And he knew that Sensei did his best, what he had to do, what was best for not just the world but for Casey .

He never really knew his Uncle Raph, but the family always felt his absence.

Hearing the news that his Uncle Tello had sacrificed himself ripped something apart in Casey. The biggest loss that really, truly affected him on a foundational level.

Then he saw his Masters Michelangelo and Leonardo give themselves up for him.

And with those sacrifices, Casey’s soul shattered.

It cracked as he flew through the air, and broke apart as he landed on the hard concrete of a New York City untouched by war.

So yes, Casey knew that this emptiness would stay with him, that as his soul was ripped in two that awful night, half of it died with his family. With his world.

The five of them sat in silence. But unlike before, this was comfortable. They knew that there’s not much they could say in response to that, but that’s okay. Casey didn’t need comforting words right now. Just the company would do.

They sat together in the living room, munching on pizza and letting the movie in the background roll over them like the tide.

And maybe Casey felt a little empty inside, but as Raph kept handing him pizza slices and Mikey bumped his knee, at least he felt accepted.

Chapter Text

It was another hot day. Not that he knew what a cold day felt like.

Despite being underground, the extreme heat on the surface had started to seep into the caves and tunnels, making their base more humid than usual.

Casey woke up in a sweat, immediately moving to grab the bamboo fan that Uncle Mike had made for him. Where he was able to find bamboo in an apocalyptic New York was anyone’s guess.

He fanned himself as he got ready for the day, and left his room to go visit his orange uncle.

“Hey Uncle Mike?” Casey poked his head into the large space that was Michelangelo’s room. One half looked like any other sleeping space in the base, with a makeshift bed and just the bare necessities. A few clothing items, some rations, and a bucket of water were what everyone had. Besides, there was very little that could really personalize a room these days. 

Until one looked to the other half. The space was large and the floor empty. There were candles placed in a circle, with a few spare stacked in a corner. There was a plain wooden desk against one wall with papers scattered all over and overflowing onto the floor or stuck to the walls. Charcoal and clay were placed neatly to the side to act as writing utensils. 

This was where Master MIchelangelo focused on his mystic abilities, where he studied and practiced and meditated. The area was strictly forbidden for anyone to enter unless there was a real emergency, even his brothers.

“Good morning, Junior. What’s up?” came Michelangelo’s reply.

“Um, can you braid my hair for me? I don’t want it to get frizzy again.” Casey stepped fully into the room as his uncle smiled at him.

“Of course!” The box turtle chirped excitedly. “What kind of braid do you want?”

“A large French braid will do, I think.”

Michelangelo sat on his bed as he waved his nephew over. Casey went and sat on the floor in front of him and closed his eyes as he leaned into the comforting feeling of his uncle running his fingers through his hair.

Michelangelo hummed as he worked, going slow and steady and dragging out the moment, the way they both liked it.

“What song is that?” Casey asked after a while of sitting in relative silence.

“Hmm. Something I’ve long forgotten the name of. I think I learned it from Leo when we were younger? He always enjoyed music the best.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah.” Michelangelo tied off the braid, and Casey sat on the bed across from his uncle, wanting to hear more. “He always played music. It helped him focus, I think, and at some point he learned how to play the electric guitar. Some of my favorite moments with him would be us cooking together and he’d overdramatically perform to whatever song was playing. He would always goof around, but there were times when I would catch him singing to himself, and he actually has a really good voice.”

“Wow,” Casey breathed out. He couldn’t imagine a goofy or dramatic Leonardo. He’s only ever known him to be the serious leader of the resistance. And music? He would occasionally hear some music playing in Uncle Tello’s lab, but that wasn’t a common occurrence. “What kind of music did he listen to?”

The turtle chuckled. “Mostly pop, I think. I’m sure if you ask Donnie he’d pull up all of our favorite playlists.”

Casey didn’t know what ‘pop’ or ‘playlists’ meant, but he quickly accepted this side quest for the day. He would get those so-called playlists if it was the last thing he did.

And then Casey was floating in darkness as he heard voices whispering around him.

“He’s just a child.”

“It’s too soon.”

“Here, have mine.”

“Find the key.”

“Retreat!”

“Hahaha, don’t worry!”

“Karaoke, maybe?”

“Stop the Kraang.”

“It’ll take everything I have.”

“You should ask Donnie.”

“Casey, please!”

“Haha, okay. Up we go, Junior.”

What’s this? What’s happening? Why was he hearing these voices?

What did it mean?

“Hello?” Casey called out.

Nothing happened. The voices kept whispering.

“You’re not the only one to lose people, kid.”

Huh? That voice got Casey’s attention.

“They’re not the only ones you’re gonna lose, not in this war.”

That voice was stronger than the others. He could hear it more clearly. But why? With nothing else to go off of, Casey focused harder on that voice.

“The best thing you can do is build yourself some walls.”

Casey gasped and reached out for that voice.

The blackness around him shivered and a blurry scene appeared.

“Don’t let people in, so that you can keep going when the people around you die.”

“Oh,” Casey whispered to himself. He remembered this.

“It’s time to grow up for real now.”

Charlie.

Bo.

Casey’s heart hurt for the friends he had lost.

This was the day he grew up. The day he didn’t let anyone else in. He only needed his uncles.

The scene came into focus, but it wasn’t what he was expecting. 

Instead of that day, that conversation, this memory happened a few years after.

Casey sat in Leonardo’s room as the leader got ready for the night. He had taken off his prosthetic arm and was in a tank top and sweats. He was mumbling something under his breath that Casey focused on, soaking up this rare occurrence of his caretaker letting his guard down.

“And the walls kept tumbling down in the city that we love. Gray clouds roll over the hills, bringing darkness from above.”

“What’s that, Otōsan ?” Casey asked.

“Pompeii,” he answered. “A song about… well… I guess it’s about the end of the world.”

Hmm. “Well, they got the gray clouds wrong.”

“I guess they did, kid. Though, they were right about all the walls tumbling down. Have I told you what New York was like before the invasion?”

“Not enough,” came Casey’s reply as he yawned.

Leonardo chuckled. “Maybe later, mijo . You look exhausted.”

He hummed another tune as he wrapped up the young teen in his arms. The tune rocked him to sleep, wrapping his soul in its warm embrace. 

The memory faded to black again, and-

Casey woke up.

He reached up, his face feeling sticky.

He wiped off the tears and tried to soak up the last dregs of warmth that melody left in his heart.

What was it?

Why did he keep hearing it? 

Casey was up early that morning, so he walked around the lair not expecting to see anyone else. He was surprised to see the light on in Mikey’s room as he passed by.

Having nothing better to do, he knocked on the door.

“Come in,” came Mikey’s low answer.

Casey stepped in, sitting on the floor next to the box turtle.

“It’s the ass crack of dawn, what are you doing up?” was the human’s greeting.

Mikey chuckled while gesturing around him in answer.

Scattered around the turtle were art supplies and papers in all states of distress. The box turtle held a pencil in his shaking hand as he hunched over a paper, clearly trying to work on his line art. “‘M practicing,” he mumbled. “What are you doing up?”

He’s hurt. My fault. He had to get Leo out because I-

Casey hummed and interrupted his spiraling thoughts. “Just a naturally early riser. Mind if I practice with you?”

Mikey looked up at him in surprise. “You draw?”

“Not really. I never had the time or supplies to learn, but I saw what my Uncle Mike was able to do. He said ‘Art can come in any form. It’s an expression of who you are, and you should be proud of everything you create.’”

Mikey smiled and pushed some paper Casey’s way. “Yeah. That sounds right.”

The human laid on his stomach as he picked up a pencil and Mikey turned on some soft R&B to play. It was peaceful, even if the terrapin did let out the occasional frustrated chirp . Casey would just take a couple deep breaths with him as he continued to work on his own piece.

By the time breakfast rolled around, Casey had got his art about as detailed as he could with his extremely limited experience in art and working purely from memory.

As they packed up the supplies, Mikey took a look at what the human had created.

“Who are they?”

Casey wore a soft smile as he looked at the page. 

Family. Could I really join the family here?

“My friends. We grew up together.” He pointed them out as he spoke. “Charlie was strong and loud-spoken. She would say it how she saw it, no sugar coating to spare your feelings. Her weapon of choice was a sword or machete, really whatever blade she could get her hands on. She was one of the best hand to hand combatants in the younger league. Bo was constantly subverting expectations. He was lanky, so you wouldn’t think he was as strong as he was. He looked up to Uncle Tello, and chose a bō as his weapon. We used to tease him about being named after a stick because his mom had a crush on Uncle Tello.”

That last bit earned a chuckle from the box turtle. “A crush on Donnie? I can’t imagine.”

“He had an important mad-scientist-emotionally-unavailable-bad-boy image to maintain for the public that was supposed to make him seem appealing. Or at least, that’s what he said.”

That got a full laugh from the box that time, startling the human with how bright it sounded, despite the quiet volume.

“Yeah. Anyway, Charlie and Bo… we were thirteen when we went on a supply run gone wrong. I- I couldn’t save them. In fact, even I wouldn’t have made it out if it wasn’t for one of the adults dragging me behind them. They shaped me, and it’s gotten easier over the years. But I had a dream last night and… I just- just remembered, you know? I felt it more than I have in a while. So I guess when I saw you drawing, I figured why not. I don’t have any photos, so even if this is bad, I at least have something to depict them.”

There was silence for about a minute before Mikey cleared his throat and said, “It’s not bad.”

Casey looked up and saw that the orange turtle had put on a turtleneck sweater and round glasses. 

“Huh?”

“The picture. It’s not bad, Casey. It’s like what future me said. It doesn’t matter how it was made or what it looks like. It’s special and important and good because it means something to you. Because it brings you comfort and holds value. Art doesn’t have to be museum-worthy all the time. Just creating something for yourself is enough.”

Casey thought about it. He’d never been to a museum before, but he still heard the meaning behind the youngest’s words. 

And that meant everything to the human. Maybe these scribbles didn’t look exactly like his friends. And maybe he was forgetting what his friends looked or sounded like. 

But maybe…

“You know, Mikey. The day they died… A part of me died with them. It changed me fundamentally. That was the day I learned I had to shut everyone out. I couldn’t get close to anyone else because that meant hurting and grieving when they died, and that meant wasting precious time and energy when there was a war to fight.”

…Just maybe…

“That’s understandable, Casey, really. But the good news is, there’s no more battles to fight, no more wars to win. We did that. You won that war, for all of them. For the resistance, your friends, and most importantly, for yourself. You didn’t give up. You carried them all with you as you survived. And now you can start living . You can open up again, and you can let more people into your life without fear of losing them. You already have us, and we’ll walk with you the entire way.”

“Mikey… could you maybe teach me how to draw?”

…He could lower his walls.

April had come over today, but Casey couldn’t find it in himself to mess around with her like he normally would. He just felt… heavy.

“What’s going on?” April asked him as they lounged on the couch together.

Casey gave a meaningless hum as he glanced towards the med bay.

“Oh.” Despite only knowing the new boy a month, he was still her little brother, and April was good with brothers. Not that he realized that. “Talk to him.”

“Huh?”

“Leo. Talk to him.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” Casey mumbled as he avoided her gaze.

April sighed as sat up to look him in the eyes. “Casey Jones. Go talk to Leo. You’ve been avoiding him like the plague ever since he woke up, and I’m willing to bet my pizza slices that it’s about what he asked you to do during the invasion.”

Casey just stared at her with wide eyes. How did she guess that?

“And,” she went on, “it’s not healthy keeping it all bottled up. It’s been a month already, a couple of weeks for Leo. These walls you have up need to come down. Whatever guilt and bitterness you’re keeping in needs to be let out. And not just through training with Raph like you do, but talked out . So go. I will drag you to the med bay myself if I have to.”

Casey huffed and whispered, “I don’t know what to say to him. I don’t want to hurt him more.”

April’s gaze softened. “That’s understandable, really. You can write it out if you need to. But in the end, it needs to be said.”

“But I-”

Casey was cut off as a crash came from the end of the hall. From the med bay.

Leo.

Turns out April’s threat was a moot point as they both jumped up and ran to check on the slider, making sure he didn’t hurt himself with whatever he was trying to do on his own that he shouldn’t be.

Entering the med bay, they saw Leo kneeling on the floor, having just fallen over. 

April went over to help lift him up as she chastised him for his reckless behavior. Glancing at Casey with a look that clearly said ‘Now is the perfect time’ , she waltzed out of the room with a quick “I’ll make some food” tossed over her shoulder.

The doors clicked shut leaving the two in an awkward silence.

Casey took a deep breath. Okay, Jones. Now or never, you need to do this.

“Listen, Leo-”

“Save it,” the slider interrupted. “I know what you’re gonna say. You don’t have to say it out loud.”

“Huh? What do you mean?” Casey was confused.

Leo’s eyes shifted around the room as he hugged his middle, a rare show of vulnerability without the ego. “I know you hate me. I know I’m not like your sensei, and I probably never will be. Whatever you’re gonna say is wrong with me, I know.”

Casey was shocked into silence for a moment, because…

“What?! Seriously?” Casey couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

The outburst caused the turtle to look at him in confusion.

“I- I don’t hate you, Leo. Sure, I’m a little upset, but I don’t hate you!”

The turtle just continued to stare at him in confusion with his mouth slightly open.

Casey started pacing and gesticulating, partly to help get his point across and partly to have something to do while he gets everything off his chest.

“I’m- I’m sorry Leo. It was wrong of me to compare you to my sensei. You’re not him, and hopefully you never will be. He spent most of his life fighting a war that we were able to stop. And… as much as I miss him… I’m glad that all of you won’t have to experience the same things as the versions of you I know. Knew. And… I mean, you know what? I am upset! I’m upset that you sacrificed yourself to the Kraang. I’m upset that you had me close the portal on you. Me. I… I didn’t want to lose you again. And yeah, I know you’re not my otōsan , but… you’re you! I couldn’t lose you, I can’t lose you! And asking me to essentially kill you by locking you with the very things that took you away from me in the first place? I know it needed to be done, but it sucked ass dude. Don’t ever ask me to do something like that again. So yeah. I’m upset about the circumstances we encountered, and I’m upset about what had to be done. But… I don’t hate you.” Casey ended his little rant with his fists clenched tight and misty eyes. He looked over to Leo to see him absolutely gobsmacked.

The blue-banded turtle blinked before tears got the chance to form and sat up straighter in faux confidence.

“I… I’m sorry, Casey. I’m sorry I couldn’t be… a sensei for you. I’m sorry for disappointing you.”

Casey blinked.

“What? No… were you even listening? You haven’t disappointed me, and I don’t expect you to be Master Leonardo. That was wrong of me to say back then. I’m sorry for that.”

“But… why don’t you hate me? I… I asked the impossible of you. You gave up so much for us that you shouldn’t have. And you all have been worrying about me because I made myself a burden. I… I don’t understand.”

Leo’s tears were on the verge of falling, Casey could see it in his eyes. He knew he wasn’t faring much better.

And Casey felt for him. He’s just a child , for god’s sake.

“No one hates you, Leo,” Casey whispered. “We never could. I never could. I- it- just-” He took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. “It had only been a day since Sensei and Uncle Mike died and I was sent here. Sensei gave me a mission, one that I almost failed. But even so, I knew he would still forgive me because I tried. I really tried . It… it was you I really wanted to impress. It was you I wanted to save the world for and I was so worried about disappointing you. And I- I thought that- I thought that even after all of this, you wouldn’t forgive me for the way I treated you. That you wouldn’t let me near your family because I brought so much danger with me and-” He hiccuped and shut his mouth before he could start crying. 

“No. Casey, no,” the slider says firmly. “I meant what I said to you before. Future me would be so proud of you. I’m proud of you. You did the impossible and you saved my family, the world. Of course I want you here. You’re a Hamato, through and through.”

Casey had to take a deep breath because he could feel that pressure behind his eyes and in his throat winning the battle for dominance. 

So Casey stopped fighting. He let the tears fall as a sob escaped him. He all but threw himself at Leo, this younger version of the man who raised him. He clung to him like his life depended on it, refusing to let go even when the other was shocked frozen.

He heard Leo gasp, and embraced the human back.

“Thank you,” Casey whispered, causing them to tighten their holds.

They sat there clutching each other for what seemed like hours with hitching breaths and running noses. The child ninja and the warrior displaced from time, shaking in each other’s arms as they broke down together. They cried through their pain and trauma, the negative feelings retreating as they laid the foundations for a new relationship in this moment. 

Not a relationship of master and student. Not of father and son. Not even of warriors or new friends.

This was a foundation for brotherhood, the kind of relationship built out of mutual trust and care. The kind that stays solid because you know the other has your back, because you’ve put your life in their hands and received the same trust in return. The kind that says ‘I see you. I see all of you, and I love you for it all.’

As the two boys released their pent up emotions, they felt the calming presence of a whisper. Anata wa hitori ja nai supported them , and a melody wrapped around them like a present, tied off with a neat bow and a note that said ‘Dear brother, you are not alone’.

“Sooo~ how’d your talk with Leo go?” April asked when she saw Casey again later that night. She had that smirk on her face that told Casey she already knew the answer and hadn’t ever expected anything else.

Casey crossed his arms in mock defiance. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Mhm. So your eyes aren’t puffy from crying?”

“It- it’s allergies.”

Casey glanced at April out of the corner of his definitely-not-puffy-from-crying eyes to see her struggling to keep a smile off her face.

“And what exactly are you allergic to, Jones?”

“Emotions,” he deadpanned.

Their serious expressions lasted for a whole three seconds before April snorted, causing Casey to bark out his own laugh, and it all dissolved from there.

It felt so good. When was the last time he laughed this hard?

He didn’t get the chance to dwell on it though, because Mikey bounded in from the kitchen calling “Come on you hyenas, Raph and I made brownies!”

April whooped and flipped up off the ground and was out the door in one giant leap.

Casey flipped up as well, walking with Mikey into the kitchen.

“What’s the occasion?” April asked as she bent over a tray of brownies waiting for Mikey’s go-ahead.

“Well,” the box turtle explained, “We need a new brownie recipe. I need you guys to try this.”

“A new brownie recipe?” Casey felt perplexed.

“That sounds like it has something to do with-” April cut herself off, eyes widening.

“Yep,” Mikey replied. “Cass said her troop needs to expand their flavors.”

“How’re CJ’s girl scouts doing, by the way?” 

Casey, having been excited about trying a new food, froze.

Whose whats now?

“They’re good,” Mikey apparently hadn’t noticed the boy’s hand hovering a couple inches away from the brownie pan.

“Um, Case? You good, big man?” Raph tried to get his attention.

Define good and I’ll let you know.

“Dude I think he short circuited,” April stage whispered.

“Casey~?” Mikey was tapping his shoulder.

Casey slowly turned his eyes to stare down the box turtle.

“Cass?” He asked in what was hopefully a steady and casual voice.

Donnie walked in at that moment with one of Leo’s arms slung over his shoulder.

“We could smell your brownies all the way down the hall, Miguel!” The slider had a huge grin plastered on his face.

Raph pulled out two more chairs for their remaining brothers.

“Cassandra?” Donnie clarified. “Are we talking about her?”

“Yeah she’s coming over tomorrow,” Mikey summarized, “But Casey seems a little weird about it?”

“Do you have a photo of her?” He asked now that his thoughts were actually moving again.

“Of course, dude! You should meet each other, you’re so similar I think you’ll get along great!”

Casey chuckled and caught Donnie staring at him out of the corner of his eye, the soft shell humming with his eyebrows narrowed.

When he turned to meet the stare head on, Donnie’s eyes widened in a silent ‘oh’ and smirked.

Casey chose to ignore that and tuned in to what Mikey was saying.

Apparently, Cassandra had been fighting on the ground during the invasion, getting civilians to safety as she cut down Kraang vines. That in and of itself was no surprise to anyone - she had a strong soul and no one could threaten her home or her people and live to tell the tale.

But, it turns out, she’d seen some blurry photos of “New York’s Mystery Heros” circulating around the internet and knew immediately who had really stopped the invasion. And - here’s the best part - right next to the four green blurs there was a fifth gray, more humanoid blur swinging a hockey stick.

So the four of them had explained that a friend had come by and helped with the invasion. Naturally, she pressed for more details but all they would give her was that he was from the future. Nothing else.

“So she texted me,” Mikey finished off the story, “saying, and I quote, ‘YOU BEST NOT HAVE REPLACED ME WITH SOME FLAKY-ASS HALF-TRAINED WARRIOR, ORANGE ONE!’ And a separate message saying ‘Also we need more flavors because WORLD DOMINATION WONT HAPPEN IF PEOPLE GET TIRED OF BORING OLD BROWNIE MIX!’ then we just kinda went from there.” The box turtle held out his phone to show Casey a photo of a young Japanese woman with a buzz cut and red eyeliner flipping off the camera, obviously taken mid-invasion.

Casey choked, despite not having anything in his mouth, and grabbed the phone straight out of the youngest’s hands, staring holes into the photo as if trying to memorize every detail.

“Um, Case? Are you okay?” Raph asked.

Was he okay?

He grabbed a brownie and stuffed it in his mouth to buy himself some time to think of how to phrase… all of this.

He almost cried from how good it tasted and gave Mikey two thumbs up as the box turtle beamed.

Casey cleared his throat and stood at attention.

Everyone froze and looked at the boy, waiting to hear what he’d say.

They all looked a mix of concerned and confused, except for Donnie who had a smug smirk plastered on his face as if he already knew what was about to happen.

Very anticlimactically, he said in a calm voice, “That’s my mom,” and grabbed another brownie.

Donnie’s smirk turned into a grin and chaos exploded around the small kitchen.