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Three weeks.
That’s all that was going through Cellbit’s head.
Three weeks.
He felt like he was going crazy.
Three weeks.
Was it really that long? He felt like it was yesterday.
Three weeks.
Has he slept, eaten, smiled since?
Three weeks.
Three weeks.
Three weeks since they all disappeared.
He had barely had time to compose himself. Barely had time to take his son’s shirt in his arms, let his emotions come out of his heart and flow down his cheeks. He didn’t have time to realize what was going on. The events had happened too quickly. Some islanders had become addicted to the Federation's treatment that glued a smile on their faces. Pac had fallen in it too, fortunately he had had the good sense to work on an antidote, he was still in a coma because of this. Cellbit had to both help him and finalize the design of this famous antidote. Philza had reduced one of the Federation’s buildings to stone. Then he disappeared. Bad had been acting strange for a while.
Cellbit had to be everywhere at the same time, photograph this building, theorize about these footsteps, always thinking, staying up late for meetings, always exhausting himself, always be present, staying awake for days, long nights where all his bones merged with the chair of his office, where he didn't even know how to difference night from day.
Except for this obsession.
Three weeks.
And the castle was so empty. It was probably the worst, the silence that Richarlyson had left behind. If he had known, he would have made the most of his screams of joy, the characteristic noise of his feet on the stones, his little hands that rested on the eyes of the Brazilian.
Their high pitched voice, filled with hidden laughter.
"Guess whooo ?"
His pout when he had to take a bath. The way their eyes flickered when they struggled with fatigue. Paint stains impossible to remove on half of his clothes. The huge nest of curls that formed his hair, which they had to tame every morning.
If he had been told a few years ago that he would spend most of his future dealing with a perfect mix of a child and a dragon, Cellbit would probably have found the idea frankly vexing.
Today, and since the last three weeks, he wanted to cry every time he heard his name. Richarlyson had offered him a life he would never have dared to imagine, he had simply offered him happiness.
Now, nothing made sense anymore.
Fear was constantly beating in his veins.
The man was afraid to be the next to dive, the next on the Federation’s long list of misdeeds. If it were not for him, it would surely be another of his friends. He surely feared that more than anything else.
The idea alone made him suffocate, it had already been days that he had locked himself in his office to work on the issue that obsessed them all ...
Where are their children?
He had tossed and turned all the clues, all the theories, looking everywhere. Gazing at himself in the mirror, he could hardly see, dark circles, a bad shaved beard and greasy hair, were fighting on his pale face.
It was one morning after a long sleepless night that he received a message from Badboyhalo.
"Roier, Tubbo and Slimecicle are injured, something happened. Come to the hospital"
It was coupled with another message, from his husband himself.
"Gatinho"
Nothing more was needed.
Cellbit finished his huge bowl of coffee in one go. He didn't take the time to shower or change, it was with his sweaty clothes and his huge dark circles that he rushed out of the castle.
Already, despite the lack of sleep, his brain was filled with different hypotheses. He didn't have much of course, very few clues, but he couldn't help but put things into perspective : They were hurt, fortunately it was not worse. They were alive and all in one piece. But Bad had formulated his message so that it was an order, a pressing situation.
He crossed the bridge in the blink of an eye.
What worried him most was Roier’s message. His husband hadn't shared anything about his condition or what happened.
He had to find Roier, more than anything he had to be there.
Once teleported to the spawn, Cellbit ran to the building without wasting any more time.
Bad was just at the entrance, he didn't look good. He was even more and more scary looking as his appearance was devoured by the mysterious blue dots. Cellbit felt that even if he asked him about it, he would have no answer.
"It’s about the eggs" he said right away, anticipating the Brazilian’s question.
Cellbit’s blood started boiling. He didn't take the time to thank his friend, he brutally pushed the door. The man couldn't prevent guilt from filling his senses.
Everything was so hard lately, he didn't even have the opportunity to check in with his companion. Cellbit entered the clinic room. Tubbo, Slimecicle and Roier were there, sitting on hospital beds and visibly in a bad state. Their clothes seemed awfully burned.
"Gatinho!" Roier exclaimed while trying to get up.
Cellbit was already by his side before he even had time to move. He took him in his arms, sighing with relief. A big part of the young man’s iconic sweatshirt was damaged. He hugged him tight. Roier was fine. He was alive, breathing, and now that he was in his arms, he was safe.
"What happened ?" He asked, keeping him against him almost possessively, his husband was bubbling and trembling.
Roier let out a laugh that didn’t match the current situation, but he didn't respond. In one glance, the Brazilian made sure that his friends were fine : Tubbo had his eyes glued to the ground, wide in an anxious attitude and Slimecicle had a worried look, his hands resting on his knees and swaying in a steady rhythm, probably just to reassure himself.
"We found a book that took us to a maze, and then we followed some kind of weird Cucurucho ... There were all the egg’s clothes with a roulette wheel in a sort of glass prison" It was Tubbo who spoke first with a small voice.
Cellbit felt the hair on his neck rise. Maze. Cucurucho. Eggs. It was the worst combination possible. Roier still seemed amused, smiling and with bright eyes, his face stuffed in his husband’s vest.
"Tubbo managed to get into the glass cage where there was the wheel, and he ended up activating it. Lava came out everywhere... We got stuck... we had to run away, it was really... "Slimecicle didn't finish his sentence, and nobody continued it either. Tubbo was in no condition to go further, his eyes were focused on an invisible point, his face in his hands.
"I’m so sorry, I didn’t wanted to ..." whispered the youngest, before continuing in a low voice a dialogue that nobody was able to hear.
Fortunately Bad came back, bringing bandages and first aid kits and many other things to help the three friends get back on their feet. Cellbit stole a kit from him and slowly began to heal Roier’s raw arm, gently.
"A wheel?" he asked again, confused.
"Like a Russian roulette wheel. With two colors, eight squares, and a arrow. We hesitated to turn it, but we didn’t know what else to do," Slimecicle explained.
"The Federation probably wanted you to do it, to scare us," the demon said while distributing different potions of health, food and bandages. It was surely to reassure them all.
Roier, silent but smiling, standing motionless, had a hand attached to a piece of the man’s clothing. Cellbit looked at his husband and put a hand on his cheek, his face was redder than usual, hair clinging to his still warm forehead, his bandana was wet. In a gentle movement, he pushed back the brown locks. Deep in Roier's eyes, he saw the reflection of his own sadness, and it made him shiver.
“There was nothing else?” He asked to Roier directly, but the Mexicain only smiled as he closed his eyes to lean in his husband's touch.
With the silence of the other two, he understood that it was the case. His husband wasn't acting normally, or at least even less normally than usual. BadboyHalo began to help Tubbo who couldn't stop trembling while Slimecicle drank a large glass of water that the demon had brought him. He would have liked to talk to Roier, but it wasn't a good idea to do it in front of the others. The Brazilian knew how difficult it was to have a serious conversation with him, especially when they were in public.
“It was a lot of fun to sneak between the lava geysers,” the Mexican finally commented while Cellbit was applying cream to his burns, “Tubbo was too scared to turn the wheel, we had to spend ten minutes convincing him. And you should have seen Cellbo, when the lava came out of the ceiling, the scream he made” he giggled, looking at his friend, "You know, we’re not good at all for all this stuff, you should have been there Gatinho, we’re a bunch of clumsy pendejos ... We did burned all our children’s clothes, it’s hilarious" Not matter how hard he tried, Cellbit didn't hear any irony in his voice.
Tubbo didn’t seem to find it funny at all, and Bad gave him a dark look. Cellbit thought it was better to silence the young man before it ended too badly : he knew that his husband tended to overdo everything.
“Ush guapito” Cellbit firmly said as he finished applying the cream, “You need to rest, I’ll take you back to the castle,” the Brazilian made sure that Roier could stand on his feet properly. He staggered a little, but at least he could walk.
"Take care of yourself guys" he then went to talk to Bad while Roier seemed busy chatting with Slime and Tubbo, "If anything happens, please let me know right away"
Bad nodded and wished Cellbit a good day. He had almost forgotten that he spent a whole night ruminating on his grief and his theories. While leaving, he saw that Roier continued to smile. The Mexican strangely showed no resistance while Cellbit helped him to walk without pushing him too much. He thought it was the best time to talk about his behavior. Outside, there was as always a beautiful blue sky, the air was light, with a refreshing breeze. Everything was silent for once.
“What’s wrong with you? Are you alright? This is really not the time for jokes”
"You’re all so serious" he looked up at the sky, "Laugh a little, it won’t kill you"
"I don’t think anyone is really up to laughing. Making jokes isn’t going to help us understand what the Federation has in mind" Cellbit frowned, Roier’s laughter wasn’t the same one he used to hear, it looked like a false note in a verse.
"That’s why you have white hair early, you worry too much" his tone was so light, so evasive, nothing was right. What the hell was going on?
"Come on, the eggs are gone, people are disappearing, they are playing games with us, and you think I worry too much?" His nonchalance began to bother him.
"I don’t see why you’re making a big deal out of it. The eggs are dead anyway"
There was a moment of silence.
The whole island is holding its breath.
Cellbit felt his heart collapse to the bottom of his rib cage, while a knot was created in his throat.
What…?
Roier continued to walk in front of him, as if nothing had happened, before finally stopping in his turn.
"Cellbit?" Roier stared at his husband, turning to him.
"Why are you saying that?" His voice broke in the middle of his sentence. The Mexican always smiled, as if to reassure him, except that it didn't work. It was even the opposite effect. Cellbit took a step forward, the lack of sleep and constant fear meant that he could crack at any moment, "What are you saying? Merda, what’s wrong with you ?"
Roier looked at him as if he were stupid, as if he had to explain something obvious.
“Let’s be serious for two seconds, the eggs can’t survive that long without us. They left with nothing but their inventories, they most likely died somewhere" which mostly made Cellbit mad was that damn smile.
"Calar a boca" Cellbit felt an acidic liquid flooding his throat.
"But it’s true! You have to think a little, Cellbo" he laughed before taking a step forward to put a hand on his shoulder.
Cellbit abruptly pushed him back, moving away with a few steps back. His breathing had accelerated sharply. The idea of never seeing Richarlyson again made him dizzy.
It was not possible.
Roier’s theory was stupid.
He had no proofs.
It just wasn’t possible.
"Richas is your son too! How dare you say that?" he finally snapped, tears filled his eyes. Cellbit had spent days pushing his sleep away and torturing his brain on his disappearance, all of which had exhausted him more than he thought. Roier wasn’t helping.
"You think I don’t know? You think it doesn’t kill me to say that?" far from what was expected, Roier was still smiling, his lips trembling and his eyes were suddenly wet.
"Then why do it? We are our children’s only hope! You should be ashamed to say things like that!" shouted Cellbit, feeling the hot tears roll down his cheeks and roll down his chin. Roier didn't mean these words, it was the only option.
"There is no more hope! It’s over! And it makes me honestly laugh at how completamente ciego you all are!" yet he wasn't laughing, not quite, he tried to forced on his face a wide grin, insistent, falsely happy.
“You are the one who is completamente ciego! We are not talking lightly here, bastardo, we are talking about our children, we are talking about our son!” anger blinded him, words struggled to escape from his clenched teeth. “Our son, our Richarlyson!”
“Our son is dead! Està muerto! He is dead and we will never see him again and you will have to realize it, maldita sea!” the young man’s condition was getting worse, the laughter he let slip from between his lips was painful to hear.
The smile was a mask, and the mask cracked. The Mexican was breaking up, and the character he had tried to maintain for weeks, maybe months, was starting to fray. Cellbit felt his shoulders fall, nervousness left him, anger too.
"Roier ..."
"They died, Cellbit, all of them. Without exception. The Federation offered us children and then they slit their throats right in front of us. And you’re trying to resuscitate dead bodies!"
Roier had gone too far. Cellbit was suddenly afraid of losing him too.
"Bobby is dead, Tilin is dead, Juanaflippa is dead, Leonarda is dead and Richarlyson is dead! Puta madre, they’re all fucking dead, okay?" tears flowed one after the other, soaking his cheeks. " And no one understands that! So yeah, I’ve been laughing and smiling like a pendejo for three weeks, but if I’m not here to do it, who’s gonna do it?" he hid his face in his hands, suffering of turmoil. It was impossible to know if he was laughing or crying. “¿quién lo hará, Cellbit?” he asked once more loudly, eagerly, as if he too desperately needed an answer.
"Roier ..."
"And you, who plays the perfect little detective as if it would change anything to solve jodidamente estúpido puzzles!" When he could look at his eyes again, he understood that his husband was far, far from well. "All your theories, your sleepless nights and your stupid hidden messages won’t get him back! No los traerá de vuelta!"
He did not move. He did not draw any movement except letting Roier empty all the feelings he had on his heart.
"And it’s not fair, and it’s awful, it’s horribly sad, but it’s like that! And there’s nothing we can do about it! We must bury them now, Cellbit, instead of chasing ghosts in the shape of children like locos!" there were sobs in his voice, and the trace of tears on his cheeks denoted largely with his very white and visible teeth. "I am the only one on this maldita isla to understand that! Our children died and we couldn’t protect them! We FAILED!"
The image of the clown fell apart, behind his red nose he pulled out his hair, tore his cheeks with laughter, cursed the idea of living. Now Roier was screaming, between the tears and tremors of his body he was trying to find a place for himself. Cellbit looked at his husband, he had remained silent, he observed how the disappearance of the eggs had affected the Mexican. As if he had just realized everything he said so far, Roier put a hand on his mouth and looked away, nervously wiping awat his tears. Cellbit didn't know what to say, but he knew what to do. He approached the young man slowly, and took his arm with great gentleness. Roier sniffed, his eyes were red and puffy, he bit his lip.
"Gatinho ..." he murmured, in a breath, without knowing what more to say. The young man finally looked at him, the weight of everything he had gone through lashed him at once.
Cellbit gently took him in his arms, letting his husband cling to his clothes, plunging his wet face into his neck. Roier inhaled his smell in one great breath, he leaned in his warmth. The Brazilian tightened his embrace, he wanted to keep him close just like that forever, against him, motionless, as if it could protect him. As if by holding him hard enough he could crush all the sorrows he kept in him. Cellbit hadn't realized the pain that his husband was hiding, he had been too busy with his own, and the various events of the island to really have time to think about it. If Cellbit had known, if only he had known, he would have done everything to help him, to be present, to cry with him, to go through it all by his side. Finally, he pulled back just enough to place a hand on Roier’s cheek and stare into his eyes. The brown pupils were surrounded by red, his lips were still shaking a little.
“Never say things like that again, are we clear, estúpido?” he demanded, not only for Roier but because Cellbit knew that even himself could not bear to hear this speech again.
“I don’t want to … to remain in this state of constant waiting all my life … It hurts too much … ”
"I know Roier but-' the Brazilian began, he was cut off.
“Do you realize how many children I’ve lost? Tilin is dead, when I was supposed to protect them, when I was like a father to them. I was ready to adopt them, you know? I would have done it, without hesitation ... If only ..." he didn't finished his thought. Cellbit took the opportunity to slowly stroke his back "Not even a day later it was Juanaflippa’s turn, she was a little girl so full of joy, so enthusiastic, she had so much love to give, ya sabes? We didn’t even have time to recover … I was so scared …” His expression became even more desperate “And Bobby …” his tears were starting again, his eyes were almost no longer brown, the tears were hiding the color “He was in front of me Cellbit, he was right in front of me when he died. I was with him, I should have protected him … I should have … I saw him fall, he was in front of me, right in front of me …”
Cellbit’s heart was in shreds to hear this, he didn’t imagine the state of his husband. How could he have known? The whole personality of Roier scrupulously followed three rules : laughing, joking, flirting.
“It’s not your fault, neither for Tilin, nor for Juanaflippa, nor for Bobby,” the Brazilian finally said, passing a hand on the youngest’s cheek, “It’s nobody’s fault.”
Silence. Roier looked away, frowning. He didn’t like that answer, that’s not what he wanted to hear, he needed someone to blame. He needed an enemy, a target, and until then, he was aiming for himself.
“You are allowed to feel sadness, and to want to fill it by playing your tolo character all day, but I don’t want you to lock yourself in it, let alone say such things” despite the strong words, Cellbit was sweet, so gentle that Roier’s body had relaxed “We can’t do anything for them anymore, and for that, I am sorry. But we can still do something for those who remains ... Dapper, Ramon, Pomme, Leonarda, Tallulah, Chayanne and Richarlyson. If you start thinking that they are really dead, that’s how it will end”
Roier looked down and nodded. Of course he didn’t want that, they both didn’t want that. Everything but that, life on Quesadilla was already hard enough without their children being no longer in this world.
“They’re alive, I know. We’ll find them, eu prometo. We’ll find them and everything will be fine” it probably some pretty lies he was saying there, but sometimes pretty lies are all that was needed.
The Mexican smiled softly and his grip on Cellbit’s clothes increased a little.
“One last thing ... I’ll tell you a secret, lindo imbécil, I didn’t marry you for your smile, or for your laugh, or even for the way you hide your sadness as if your life depended on it”
“Then why?” Roier rolled his eyes, and replied with a doubtful air.
“For your nice ass”
Cellbit was so serious that the young man exploded with laughter, Roier gently pushed him away and put his hand on his smile, as if ashamed to really show amusement in such a situation.
“Pendejo” Roier finally growled as he gazed at him, the ghost of a smile at the corners of his lips.
“That’s for this face that I chosen you. Honesty suits your complexion much better guapito” he pulled it gently towards him and kissed the top of his forehead “And I know exactly what you need; a good shower, an avocado toast and a long nap”
He was about to lead him to the castle : they just needed to reach the teleportation stone and they would be there in the blink of an eye. But Roier visibly used one of his last well-hidden forces to make his husband turn around and kiss him tenderly. It was such a quick kiss that Cellbit didn’t have time to close his eyes to enjoy it. But his lips were salty, a bit wet but nonetheless sweet.
“Eu te amo você Gatinho”
The Brazilian stood motionless for a few seconds, blinking. No matter how long he had known Roier, no matter how long he had been married to him and shared his life, he was always so full of surprises. Then the young (though wounded) man pulled him towards the castle. Cellbit took his hand in his and intertwined their fingers before joining him.
“Yo también te amo Guapito” he murmured, loud enough to let his lover hear it.
That evening they remained in each other’s arms. Cellbit had taken the time to bring him some comfortable clothes, but he also reminded him to heal his burns properly. Once under the covers, Roier apologized several times, in a low voice, a barely perceptible murmur. Although his partner kissed his forehead, and assured him that he was forgiven, Roier fell asleep with a soft "I’m sorry" on his lips. Cellbit had more trouble sleeping, he wanted to protect him all night, chase away bad thoughts that could bother his sleep. He soon ends up yawning, kissing his cheeks one last time, and curling up against him.
They were safe and sound.
Today, at least, they were together, the two of them, against the world.
And soon, the eggs will come back, and everything will be fine.
It’s with this thought that Cellbit finally fell asleep.