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Chapter Text

Jingly music played on the TV as the ads rolled on whatever was on. She’d stopped paying attention when Ron decided that the best place to put his hands was up her skirt. She’d responded by rolling to sit on his lap, turning her back to the movie and covering his view completely. Not that either of them had expected much of a quiet night in tonight. They’d had plenty of them recently and with Bradley away for the night, she wanted some adult time. 

Ron’s hand crept from her hips to cradle her shoulder, pulling her closer to him. She wiggled around on his lap and turned her face a little more to the side so their kiss went deeper. With the other hand remaining on her hip, her sunk it below her skirt and teased at her underwear for a while. She let out a small whine, he’d been away on deployment for a few months, he’d been taking shorter and shorter ones recently and had even talked to her about quitting the Navy, and she couldn’t handle him being away. 

“God, babygirl, you’re so deprived,” he whispered. 

She sat up on his lap, moving her hands from where they were playing with the short curly hairs around the top of his neck. Crossing her arms, she stuck out her bottom lip. 

“I am not deprived,” she said. “You just have a stupid job.”

“Stupid job? Saving the lives of millions is a stupid job?”

“Having a job that puts your life in danger and takes you away from the people you care about is stupid.”

He laughed that low laugh, the one you could more feel than hear. She melted a bit. He moved his hand from her shoulder to stroke the underside of her breast through her blouse. The other hand stroked the soft hairs on her upper thigh, the ones that she could never shave for some reason despite trying to. His fingers graced underneath her panties as he did so, stroking her hip and the sensitive skin leading to her vulva. She whined again. 

“How about we stop discussing the nature of my job and start enjoying ourselves,” he said, his words like honey in her ear. “Because I for sure am willing Bradley’s little league team to win more games, because I could have more nights like this, you in my lap, all pretty and puckered up for me.”

She chuckled and linked her arms around his neck. “How about we stop discussing my ten year old kid while we’re making out? It’s not exactly what I want to be thinking about when you’ve got your hands in my pants,  Ronnie.”

He sighed and kissed her ear, then her jaw, laying kisses along her face and cheek until he reached her lips. His breath was soft against her face. Warm, she could hear the laughter in it. 

Yet, as if by magic, the phone rang. She groaned and rolled off his lap. 

“Don’t answer, if it’s important, they’ll call back!” He said.

He flopped onto his front as he watched her walk away. She still had her dress on from earlier whereas she’d ridden him of his sweater already. She would’ve got him out of his shorts if the phone hadn’t rang.

She waved him off as she picked up the phone. “Hello, Bradshaw residence.”

The happy mood washed away instantly. Her brow furrowed, eyes closing as she tried hard to listen to the person on the phone. 

“Mrs Bradshaw? Is that you?” It was Eddie’s older brother. 

Bradley’s baseball team had won their league so, as a treat, she’d let him have a sleepover with his friends. Eddie had driven them to get pizza last she knew. She had the strangest feeling that something was wrong. She’d had the same one the day that Goose died, she didn’t want to be right about this. 

“Yeah, Mike, what is it?”

“It’s Bradley, mam, well, all of us really-”

“Bradley?” She said in a stone cold way. Ron must have picked up on something as he got up, the playful mood was gone now, his face serious too. “What’s wrong with Bradley?”

“We got the pizza, mam, and, and, we got to the lights, we stopped at the red but when it went green a car didn’t stop and he ran into us. He just ran straight into us, smashed the passenger side up.”

Her heart dropped. Bradley had been in that car. 

“What side of the car was Bradley on?”

He didn’t answer. The interference on the phone line buzzed in the silence. 

“Michael, what side of the car was Bradley on?”

“The passenger side, mam.” He mumbled. 

“What?”

“The passenger-” he repeated again.

She interrupted him, “Where are you? I’m coming to you now.”

There was a break. She watched Ron throw his sweater back on and run to the hall to grab her jacket. He came back hopping as he threw his shoes on, her sandals in hand as well as her back. 

“On Leopard Street, mam, near the Pizza Hut.”

“Okay,” she said, then added. “When you hang up, you call 911, okay? Get the paramedics, fire, police, just get all of them okay, I’ll be there in about twenty minutes, okay?”

“Yes, mam.”

“Now you call 911, you hear? Are you using a payphone, do you have enough money to call them?”

“I’m using the phone in the Pizza Hut, but I’ll call them, okay?”

She could hear the fear in his voice as he spoke to him. She bet he could hear the fear in her’s. She didn’t want this to be like Goose. Bradley was her baby boy, she couldn’t lose him too. 

“I’ll hang up now but I’ll be there soon.”

She said goodbye briefly before hanging up the phone and throwing on the sandals in Ron’s hands. Taking the bag, she made sure she had the car and house keys before stopping in front of the door. 

Turning to Ron, she saw him ready. There was fear in his eyes too. 

“I’m coming with you,” he said, he didn’t leave room for questioning, she appreciated that. “If that’s alright.”

She nodded, “I’m gonna need you there.”

— — — — 

 It was going dark by the time they arrived. Flashing lights against a clear midnight blue sky. The stars were getting blocked out by the city, far off and not like the camping holidays she’d taken Bradley on. She wondered, as Ron stopped his truck, if Bradley could still go to the scouts if he was in a wheelchair.

“You need to stop thinking so much,” Ron said. “It’s not doing you any good to worry and overthink.”

She huffed, getting out of the car and slamming the door. “Is it your kid in the possibly fatal car accident?”

He was taken aback at that. They walked to the police tape in silence. She linked his hand in her’s.  “Sorry, shouldn’t have said that, you’re just worried about me.”

“Yeah,” he squeezed her hand. “It’s a stressy situation, don’t sweat it.”

“You sure?” 

She’d gone insecure all of a sudden. Holding his hand tight, she stopped right ahead of the scene and just about held back a wave of nausea. The car was crumpled and warped. Pieces of metal were scattered across the road like lego on the carpet. Mike, Eddie and Caleb were sat in the backs of ambulances surrounded by their parents and various cops asking them questions.

“Yeah,” he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I know you didn’t mean it.”

He kissed her head. A police officer turned around and walked over to them. 

“I’m sorry, mam, sir, you’ll need to stay back, this is an active police situation,”

Carole put her hands on the tape and felt it curl under her hands. “I’m Bradley’s mother, please I need to see him.”

“Bradley?”

“The kid in the passenger seat, where is he? Is he in the hospital?”

Realisation dawned on the cop’s face as he flipped his notebook closed and put the pen away in his pocket. “I’m sorry, you can’t come past the tape, but I can tell you that he’s not in the hospital.”

She stepped back. Ron was there behind her, stable and sturdy. Her legs were turning to jelly.  “He’s not?”

“No, he’s, uh, still in the car.”

“What!”

She had to be held back as she tried to run to the car. Fire was spreading across it. Flickering against the reflective surface of the car and edging closer to the mangled door that Bradley was behind. She had to get to him, had to save him. She wasn’t going to lose him too, she couldn’t, not after working so hard to make a happy, stable home for the both of them. 

“Bradley!” She screamed. “Bradley hold on!”

“Mam, the firefighters are working on getting him out, you need to stay back so we can get him out and to the hospital. Is there a specific one you want him sent to?” 

He was talking about the insurance, she didn’t fucking care about insurance right now. She yelled for Bradley again, waving her arms and trying to get heard over the sound of the chaos.

He turned to Ron instead. “Are you his dad? Where does your insurance cover?”

Ron didn’t reply straight away. He froze. Sure, they were getting close, he’d picked Bradley up from school and even helped at some of his scout meetings but he wasn’t at dad level yet. At least that’s what he’d told her, she disagreed. He blinked a few times and furrowed his brow before answering. 

“I’m not his dad, his dad’s-” he trailed off as he watched Carole try not to cry. “Anyway, she’s under Tricare, family survivor insurance.”

The cop got his notebook out and scribbled that down as he froze, then looked up at them again. “Family survivor as in?”

“My husband dying while in the Navy? Yeah.” She said, wiping her eyes. “I think I’m covered at the Christus Spohn Hospital.”

“Right, that’s where we’re sending the others anyway, it’s the closest one to here.”

She zoned out and watched the firefighters grab a machine off their truck and approach the car. It whirred, filling up her head and screaming at them as sparks went off while they cut the door open. 

“Oh god, I can’t watch this, he must be so scared,”

She felt Slider grab her around the middle and got the feeling that it was more for his sake than her’s. His hands were warm against her stomach as she watched the metal fall away and the paramedics rush in. One of them had a white doctors coat. It eased her worries a little when she saw that, not that she didn’t trust paramedics, but because it meant that the hospital cared so much that they’d sent a doctor to help. 

The cop didn’t stop her. The paramedics briefly glanced her way before setting down their equipment and struggling to shift Bradley. They stepped back and let the firefighters use a different machine to try and move him out, it was like a dance.

“What are they doing? Why isn’t he in the ambulance now?” She said. 

“He’s in a tricky situation, mam, they can’t quite get to him without hurting him too much,”

She began to hyperventilate as she watched them cut closer and closer to Bradley. They covered the little of him that she could see in the mangled vehicle. It didn’t even resemble a car anymore, more like a twisted torture chamber that she was forced to watch her son be trapped in. 

“Bradley!” She called again. “Hold on, baby, just hold on.”

More tears fell as they carried on cutting him out. She had the feeling this was going to be a long night. 

— — — — 

His ears were ringing as he opened his eyes. Everything was a little blurry. The air was waving in front of his as figures moved and retreated. What happened? Weren’t they getting pizza?

Flashing flickered next to him, to the left and to the right. It was fire. He realised slowly. He didn’t feel afraid straight away, it took a while to reach him. Its heat tickled his face, like the sun as it ran across the sky. 

“Son? Can you hear me, son?”

He groaned and looked at the fuzzy figure closest to him. The figure took that as a yes.

“Where’s my mom?” He mumbled. “I want my momma.”

“She’s just over there,” the guy pointed to his right. “She’s been calling for you for a few minutes now.”

“Momma?” 

He couldn’t hear her if she responded. The man started talking to him again but the ringing in his ears more and more. He went from looking vaguely there to blending into the background as his eyes stopped focusing. The fuzzy figures moved more as he rested his head on the headrest. He could hear his breathing as he tried to calm down. Pain in his back rippled outwards but stopped at his legs. He should be worried about that, yet he everything was still taking a lot longer than usual, so he’d probably be worried later. 

One figure that wasn’t fuzzy, however, was in the distance. It was clear against the fire and chaos. When he saw it, or rather him, he jolted upwards and hurried over to him. He knew who that was. The bright blue shirt and soft smile that he’d seen in hundreds of photos, the ones he’d looked at under the covers at night, trying to remember the line of his jaw as if doing so would recall some memories from his infancy. 

“Dad?” 

“Chick,” he said, moving past the wreckage and frantic blurred figures. “You can see me?”

He tried to nod but it hurt too much. His dad rested his hand on his face and smiled with tears in his eyes. It didn’t look like a happy smile. 

“What’s wrong?”

“You shouldn’t be able to see me, baby boy, it’s not your time yet,”

“Am I dead?” He said, the panic setting in as everything caught up with him. “I don’t wanna die, Dad, I wanna play baseball and join the navy and fly like you, I can’t die.”

He placed his other hand on his other cheek and stroked his face until and he’d calmed down. Despite him being a ghost, or an angel, or both, he wasn’t sure, he didn’t exactly care, he breathed with him until he wasn’t so scared that he was dead. Not that he wasn’t scared of being dead, but he wasn’t convinced that he was yet. 

“You won’t die, baby boy, okay? I’m gonna make sure of that,” he said. “And we’ll see each other when you’ve got a whole bunch of cool stories to tell me.”

“Okay,”

“Just focus on me and you’ll be okay.”

He began to feel warm where his hands were. Like sparks spreading through his skin and taking the pain away. The figures went from being fuzzy to blending into the growing darkness inching in from either side of him. He could be scared that his dad had lied to him, but he wasn’t, this was comfortable, like he was being lulled to sleep with a story. 

“Everything’s going to be okay, chick,” his dad said before he lost consciousness. “You’re going to be okay, I’ll make sure of it.”

Chapter Text

A doctor in blue scrubs pushed the doors open to the waiting room and made everyone in it look up. When he called someone who wasn't them, they sank back into their seats. Carole wasn't an exception. She'd been jumping up and down for the past hour waiting for someone to come in and give her news. Even though they told her it would be two hours, she wanted to be the first to know if anything went wrong, so she had to be on her guard.

Not that that wasn't exhausting. It was almost eleven o'clock at night and the past few hours had sapped her of energy. And this waiting room was so cold, she was lucky Ron had offered her his jumper to keep her warm. She took solace in the way it drowned her, he was a lot bigger than her.

She flopped onto his shoulder as she fought to keep her eyes open. He threw his arm around her and stroked the short hairs on her scalp. 

"Get some sleep babygirl, I'll wake you up if I hear anything," he whispered, kissing her temple. 

She shook her head, "Uh uh, gotta stay ready, gotta be there for my baby boy.”

He sighed and shook his head. “How about I get us some coffee?”

“That’s probably a good idea, I think we’re going to be here for a while,” She was falling asleep on his arm, there was just something about him that calmed her down. 

Security was something she’d been without for a while, she had Goose’s pension but most of that went to the mortgage and bills. Bradley was changing so much, getting more into baseball and dipping a toe into independence, Carole was getting more free time and trying to get out of the grips of grief. So Ron came around at the right time, sweeping her off her feet with his baggy jumpers, strong arms and warm smile. 

He went to get up when two familiar faces walked in. Pete and Tom. They’d called them, panicked, as soon as Bradley had entered the ER. They’d been pushed out and shown to the waiting room pretty much as soon as he’d gone into the trauma room. After that, it had been straight up to the operating theatre, so she’d barely had a chance to see Bradley throughout this whole ordeal.

“Where is he? Is he alright? Is he safe?” Pete said, pulling her up and into a hug before she knew what was happening. 

“He’s safe, he’s alive,” she said, stroking his cheek. “He’s in for a, god Ron what was it called?”

“Foraminotomoy, they’re getting rid of bone that might be pressing on the nerves, trying to stop any damage,”

Pete didn’t reply straight away. He knew Ron was here, why was he surprised? Then she remembered that he didn’t know about them yet. And her tired brain also caught her up on the fact that she hadn’t told him on purpose. Right, this wasn’t going to end well.

“Wait, why were you here before us?” Pete asked. 

“Yeah, you said you were going away for leave, catching up with family, playing tennis,” Ice added. “It takes longer to get here from Tennessee than San Diego.”

Ron paled under the fluorescent lighting. She inched closer to him. Their shoulders didn’t line up, she was a good seven inches shorter than him. Her fingers teased his as she watched Pete figure it out. She had to wait for the explosion afterwards, one she knew was coming because this was her first serious relationship since Goose, and that it was with Ron. They’d never really gotten along. 

“You two are, you’re, together? But-since when?”

“Including deployment? Nine months.” Ron said.

Pete looked even more shocked. “Nine Mon- and you didn’t tell me?”

Carole held onto Ron’s hand a little tighter. She didn’t need this now. Her son was having major surgery to his spine as they spoke and Pete was getting stressed about her relationship status? She knew people liked distractions but this wasn’t it.

“Why?”

“Because I knew this is how you’d react,” She said, looking down at his feet.

“React? I’m not reacting.”

Pete put his hands up, eyebrows raised as he tried to look aloof. People in the waiting room were starting to look. Ice was staring at Ron. They were close, pilot and RIO, for him to hide this, hide her, from him was monstrous. It betrayed trust, it betrayed their bond and their ability to trust each other. Ron had been the one to suggest they hide their relationship, she’d been scared, having such strong feelings for someone other than Goose. This was his first proper relationship, so hiding it was a good decision for both.

“I just- why him, Carole?”

“Why him?” She said, taken aback.

“I mean, he’s Ron, he’s not-” he stepped back and walked backwards. “He’s not Goose, it’s only been-”

“Almost six years!”

“But, but Bradley’s still a kid-” Pete was trying to pick the right words here, Ice was staring at him now. “He’s not relationship material, he’s distracting you, this is all his fault!”

Ron scoffed, raising his hand up to his chest and letting go. Carole crossed her arms and walked to face Pete. 

“His fault?” Maybe it was the fatigue, but she felt her short fuse snapping. “He’s my boyfriend, Mav, mine. Only I get to choose who I date and when, okay? It’s been six years since Goose died and I think I have to right not to be a grieving widow for the rest of my life when my husband died when I was twenty-six. Twenty-six, Mav!”

He closed his mouth with a snap. He wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were settled on Ron. She could see he was still mad in the way he tensed his jaw.

She clicked at him, his eyes latched onto her, “I am not distracted, I am looking after my son just as well as I always have and I will not have you question me because you don’t like the guy you just found out I’m with.

“I am a grown woman. He did not make me hide this, we both chose to, because it was new, because it was scary and he’s been away for six months, because I knew you’d react like I was meant to be a celibate spinster my whole life just because you refuse to get over Goose’s death.” 

She threw her arms in the air, the waiting room was definitely watching now. “I’m sick of being tired and angry and depressed, feeling like the world is grey and I died with him. I’ve been working my ass off for years to get myself out of that hole and live again because I can’t afford to lose myself in grief. Not when I have a family to support, a kid to feed and clothe and a job to keep. I keep my husband close in my heart and know that he’d want me to be happy with someone who cares for me and makes me happy and Ron’s that person.”

She pushed him a little, “So I don’t need your approval, Pete, and I don’t care if you think he’s bad for me but you don’t question my ability to be a parent because I chose something for myself for once. Because if you think that me, the person that always cares for Bradley, is the one who’s incapable, then I think I’ll be reconsidering the man I thought was my friend.”

“Excuse me,” 

They stopped and turned to a man in blue scrubs. He sagged a little as he stood, bags were under his eyes but his hands were steady on the clipboard he was holding. He had one of those colourful caps surgeons wore in movies, it satisfied her that they actually wore them.

“Mrs Bradshaw? Bradley’s mom?”

She held out her hand. He had a firm handshake. 

“He’s out of surgery now and in recovery, in his own room,” he walked and led them through the doors that had Authorised Personnel Only in big letters. “It went as well as we could imagine giving the situation.”

“Situation?” Pete said. 

“While they were getting him out of the car, the damage only worsened on his spine, the angle and position of his body after the impact meant that by the time we got to him, there was little we could do. What we managed to get done went well, we’ve salvaged and helped all we can but it’s going to be a matter of waiting.”

She stopped in front of Bradley’s room. He was still unconscious. There was something so sweet about him as he slept. He didn’t look worried or stressed, he didn’t seem to know what was wrong. She reached into her bag and removed his worn goose toy. He’d want it with him, he didn’t go anywhere without it, not when he got it from Goose. It made it feel like he was with him wherever he went. 

“We don’t know if Bradley will ever walk again.”

Her stomach dropped. She clutched the goose toy with a white grip.

“The spinal cord could’ve been fully severed in the crash, meaning we can’t teach his body to walk again, which we usually do if it was only partially severed, there’s other nerves that can take on the jobs of the ones that were cut, if it’s fully cut then there’s little else we can do. But, like I said, it’s a waiting game, and kids adapt, so just hold on for him.”

He nodded and walked away. As Carole placed her hand on the doorframe, she felt Ron’s hand on her shoulder, then Pete’s on the other. She didn’t care if they were giving each other death stares over her shoulder, the argument was gone. All that mattered was her kid.