Chapter Text
Sasha stared at the heart-shaped box that was impulse-bought earlier at the General Store, desperately fighting as feelings cornered her. "I'm so stupid...He seems to barely tolerate me and I develop feelings the moment he gives me a crumb of friendliness?"
"What was I thinking?" A pitiful whimper parted her lips, now full of regret of a rejection that had only happened in her mind.
"He probably doesn't even LIKE chocolates!" This was the eleventh excuse the human had listed in the past 20 minutes.
"He probably likes someone else too." Twelfth. "Or… Nobody after Tamala." Thirteenth. But something inside her insisted, and stirred, and twisted.
"Argh!" Sasha groaned as her footsteps thumped loudly; a determined march guided her out the door. "Let's get it over with!"
"What's the worst that can happen??" A cold ice immobilized her limbs.
"He could laugh.. Right in my face." The courage turned trembling; scurrying back inside her house and slamming the door shut. Hot tears threatened to impair her vision and her knot-tied throat cut her monologue short.
"I need to do it.. for myself if anything. I don't know how he will turn me down. But I won't know until I try. I will survive his rejection and move on. Life is too short to be hung up on crippling doubt like this."
With this last thought Sasha set out to end this, once and for all. Or so she thought.
It was a convenient time; there would be nobody else around to witness the upcoming disaster. Hassian would always brood by the small pond in Hideaway Bluffs during this evening hour and it was easy to spot the slim young man and his faithful companion on the small dock next to the Stable board. But he was not alone.. Another human was engaging in a mostly one-sided conversation with the Majiri hunter. Sasha cursed her luck from the make-shift hiding spot between a tree and a few bushes. The other girl took her leave shortly after and Sasha inhaled deeply to steel her nerves.
"I know you're there." But Hassian didn't hesitate to call her out before she could exhale.
"Of course, how could you sneak up on an experienced hunter?" She felt pathetic choking on her mouthful of air and he got no further response until the human approached with clumsy steps. Hassian's chin was pointed upwards, as usual, as he glared down at Sasha who stumbled for words.
"H-Hey Hassian..." His throat reverberated in dry acknowledgement at her greeting. "It's a lovely night, isn't it?"
"I wanted to...uhm.." The hunter raised an eyebrow in response to her hesitation.
"Stop second-guessing yourself and speak!" Try as she may, there was no point in niceties. Sasha's eyes avoided direct contact as the box was pulled out and offered.
"Here." Finally their gazes met and his semblance was one never seen before. For a brief moment he looked meek; with arms wrapped around himself and a posture far from intimidating which actually forced him to look up.
"I- this is for me?" His habitual brash voice now a reserved inquiry.
"I guess you don't want them?" she braced for the worst with the sheepish question causing Hassian to snap back to his arrogant body language as she slowly pulled back.
"No- I mean, Yes! I want them. Hand them over." But hand them over or trash she couldn't, for he snatched them out in a quick swip.
"I didn't think you'd feel.." He paused for an agonizing second to collect himself. "Ahem."
"I… will accept this. For now." And just like that, Hassian walked off to his grove, leaving behind a confused Sasha who stared blankly until he was no longer in sight.
"For now." She protested in complete disbelief to herself with exaggerated hand gestures. "What does he mean FOR NOW ??"
Unfortunately, the emotions welled up in the pit of her stomach didn't magically disappear as she had expected. This only made it worse; the roots of uncertainty dug harder into her very core.
"I don't need your pity." With gritted teeth, Sasha pulled out her bow and readied arrows. She never understood how during hunting, which required extreme focus and precision, was the only time her body would seemingly stop thinking and act purely on inertia. Her gut knew she'd face a moment of anger after the exchange and it would be imperative to burn the energy.
"Why do you want to play this mouse and cat game? You should've just said no, you coward… I know it's what you wanted to do." Her footsteps were already in motion to the nearest Chapaa nest. Regardless of how ironic her comfort go-to pursuit was taught by the man causing her frustrations, she needed this right now; to muffle all the noise both from inside and outside.
Sasha's arrows whistled one after the next incessantly. This would probably be the only time she was grateful for the abundance of Chapaas. Shh. Shh. Shh.
Shhh. Shhh. Shhh.
Shh. One last time Sasha's right hand reached out to the quiver, but it was empty. Finally when the Focus fueling her body like a machine ran out, she came back to her senses, to her aching legs, to her grumbling stomach, to her sore palms and to a clear sky ready to welcome the sunrise. There was only one thing in her mind, and thankfully it was not her infatuation with Hassian but the desire to nurse her exhaustion.
But she couldn't leave all these dead rodents around.
Her trek was slow, a garden snail would've reached home faster than she did but there was no real urgency. She purposefully avoided the shortest route, as to not encounter early birds such as Sifuu and Chayne who would surely question her sorry state. A bath, an easy meal and lots of sleep were the only items in Sasha's to-do list for the day.
"Bless Reth's heart for teaching me how to make some good, easy soup." She exclaimed after sipping the last of the meal from the bowl.
"GOOD MORNING SASHAAAA!!" Auni loved to loudly greet her whenever mail was delivered and today was no exception. The young boy flicked the mailbox flag up before dashing off.
"Whatever it is, it can wait." the human nonchalantly convinced herself as she bundled up and immediately passed out.
The out-of-schedule sleep was restful for the first few hours until it became a heated wrestling match with the blankets until defeat was admitted with a groan.. She knew staying in bed any longer would be uncomfortable and instead add to her muscle pain. Thoughts of the hunter were creeping back like water from a leaky roof and whatever bucket she was using to contain it wasn't big enough anymore. The human sat up and picked a small notebook nearby, ready to flush down her thoughts into the tiny pages.
"I don't think I can describe what is it exactly that I feel right now. I am frustrated, sure. Am I angry though? At him for not expressing himself clearly or at myself for misunderstanding his behavior in the first place? I'm inclined to the latter.
I hate that I love this game he inadvertently plays with me. BUT THAT'S A GUILTY PLEASURE I SHOULD'VE KEPT TO MYSELF!"
"Why am I like this? There's plenty of folks pleased to see me every day and I'm hung up on the single one who doesn't…Am I trying to prove I'm special by forcing my way into his nice side? Oh Embra, that sounds awful when I say it out loud. Well, write… whatever. This was a terrible and selfish decision and there is no way to undo it. His glare will be piercing moving forward."
"Ok, ok. No need to panic, just like I kept discretion about his letter to Tamala. I can ask him to forget this ever happened and move on, right? Uh, that's comparing apples to oranges though. Maybe I should completely avoid him instead and act dumb…. That's so much effort though."
"I have no idea what he's going to say and my guesses are useless." Sasha’s face planted into the paper hoping the rest of her thoughts would migrate without having to jot them down. Even though all of her willpower wanted to curl up in a corner and not come out for a few days, she knew that would not fix anything. It wasn't until she remembered the pending mail that every single cell in her body shook with electricity causing the human to jolt out of bed.
"Oh no, please don't be from him. Please, for all that is good." Sasha fished out the letter with a hesitant hand as if she was trying to pet a piranha. She peeked at the envelope.
"Oh phew, it's from Sifuu…" This one was one painful flinch. "IT'S FROM SIFUU!? Oh no. Oh no. So much for letting it die quietly."