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The thing is...Ed has seen Izzy sick before. Izzy has seen him sick, too; that's just part of living together in close quarters for so long.
But Ed has seen Izzy sick , the kind of sick where on shore they'd start talking about sending for a priest.
And yet even with lungs shaking with pneumonia and barely able to move, it had taken him literally passing out to get Izzy off the deck all those years ago. Izzy doesn't rest. Izzy doesn't take a break. Izzy doesn't show weakness.
But Izzy does things he wouldn't do otherwise when he's sick. He hauls himself into Ed's lap and kisses his neck and Ed knows non-sick Izzy doesn't mean it but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt every time.(The idea that healthy Izzy was an emotionally constipated twat was ignored)
So Ed avoids him as much as he can so as to not put either of them in an awkward position. Izzy slides up to him on the rail he's needed on the rigging. Izzy comes to his cabin he's sound asleep. He hates himself for it but it's for the best, he keeps saying silently.
And then Stede Bonnet, the antithesis of everything Izzy is, shows up. And leaves. Ane comes back. And Ed bit by bit learns to be soft (in private life, at least. In raids he is every bit the terrifying Blackbeard. He pretends not to see Izzys flinches)
Six months into round two of co-captaining, Izzy gets properly sick. The stomach flu plus a chest cold leaves him trembling on the upper deck clinging to the railing and semi-seriously considering throwing himself off.
Ed is describing a new raid plan to Ivan and Izzy stumbles to his side and for just a moment, leans against the railing basking in the smell of the sea and the idea that Ed was right there. Ed was safe.
But as always, he left. Of course, he left. Izzy was too annoying, rasping coughs filling the air, to stay. His face crumbles (Stede sees it, and his heart aches for his poor, ill first mate. He's trying so hard.)
"Izzy," he says and Izzy flinches to attention. "Can I see you in my quarters?' He doesn't wait for a response because Izzy doesn't refuse a direct order.
Izzy looks like death. He's just closed the door behind him when Stede is dragging him to the too-soft bed, stripping off his million layers. Izzy, who has not been cared for while ill in 20 years, is too shocked to respond.
It isn't Ed and that hurts because he wants Ed so much and Ed isn't there but he's being coaxed into light fabrics and wet cloth cleans the sweat from his skin. "You're alright' Stede says and Izzy all but bursts into tears.
He's always been so much more emotional like this, walls split open by fever and misery and the dull ache in his belly and how frantically he wants someone to make him feel better.
Stede makes a horrified little sound because Izzy is so warm and coughing badly and he practically tries to burrow into Stede’s chest. "Shh' Stede whispers. "Oh, dear thing, you're alright; you're alright. I've got you."
He goes and makes up some tea that's meant to help with fever, but when he comes back Izzy is struggling to try and put his vest back on.
"Oh absolutely not, my dear. Lay back down, that's it, let's get this in you and then you can get some rest."
He tells himself he lets it happen because he's too weak to protest. (he knows its not true. He could leave, if he wanted to. But Stede's hands are so cool on his face) so he sips fucking tea and tries not to instantly throw it back up
He's shaking slightly as he crawls up into Stede's arms. He's so tired and he Hates being sick. The weakness of it, the terror of being unable to defend himself...it culminates in his huddling in Stede's arms like a terrified dog.
Stede strokes Izzys hair long after the poor thing is asleep, rest hiding eyes glazed with fever. He's still coughing a bit, and he seems so uncomfortable, squirming in Stede's arms.
Ed comes in and just...stares. "you should put him down" Stede scoffs; as if he'd ever leave the poor, ill man to fend for himself. "He does shit he doesn't mean to when he's sick Stede! Thats why I don't let him near me I don't fucking want to hurt him accidentally."
"Ed...come here." He does, looks down at Izzy with something between pain and longing on his face. "Ed. You do understand that he does want you, yes? Sick or healthy. He worships the ground you walk on. He loves you more than life itself, i think."
"But he won't even fucking touch me when he's not sick. And when he is he...he clings to me, he cries. He's everything he doesn't like being. The fuck am I supposed to do with that?" Stede gave him an unimpressed look.
"Here" Ed hesitates but slowly clambers up onto the bed. "Here, give him here." Izzy stirs briefly as he's tucked under eds chin, gives a delighted little slurred 'cap'n" and closes his eyes again.
Stede goes to get wet cloths. And give them a moment alone, more importantly.
"I'm sorry mate." Ed murmurs, Izzy asleep peacefully in his arms. He's never seen Izzy sleep peacefully. He's not sure he's ever seen Izzy peaceful at all.
"Please don't hate me for this when you wake up" Ed whispers, pleads with the universe. If this is the only moment he's ever allowed this he will happily spend it holding Izzy as tightly as he will allow.
Izzy wakes up feeling much better. He's still coughing a bit, but the fever is down and he is warm and safe and...WHY THE FUCK is he in fucking Ed and Stede bonnets fucking arms.
He can't bring himself to panic. He can't bring himself to fight back. He doesnt think he can even bring himself to fight them. He knows edward will be angry, in the morning, but...for just a moment...he wants the safety.
They fuss over him for three days. He drifts between asleep and too feverish and exhausted to protest the soft hands. Even like this, he hates the way Ed barely touches him, barely looks at him.
He finally leaves the room four days after Stede forced him into bed. His own quarters feel cold and lonely. It's awful.
He's almost frighteningly proficient at avoiding them for the next 2 days. They try to corner him but it's never exactly a raving success; he disappears up the rigging or down the stairs below deck or into a very important conversation with Fang.
Ed finally grabs him by the neck and bodily throws him into their cabin.
He pins Izzy to the wall, curls a hand under his chin, and says oh so gently "Iz? I...I told him not to... I'm sorry Iz."
"The fuck are you sorry for." He growls but there's something soft in his eyes, head tilted against Ed's hand. "I know you don't...you do shit you don't mean. When you're sick. I shouldn't have let him touch you."
Izzy gives a tiny, broken, incredulous sound. "Fuck you." He hisses and Ed is taken aback by the fury in his words. "Iz? Am I...am I wrong? Is that not why you're mad?"
He wants to tell him he's right. He wants to tell him he's wrong. He's so tired he's slumping in Ed's grip and he just wants Ed to stop pretending.
"I've never fucking once asked you to stop fucking touching me." He growls. "Never. You did that all on your fucking own."
Ed rears back like he's been struck, though mercifully his hands stay. They might be the only thing holding Izzy up.
"But...but you never even try and touch me at all when you're not ill!" He protests. Izzy scoffs, but there's so much pain under it that it makes his head spin.
"Of course, I fucking didn't! You fucking idiot. You're my captain and you don't feel the same way and it's fucking fine and
And Ed is kissing him, crowding into his space, pressing him back against the wall. Izzy kisses back greedily, drunk on the feeling of his captain's lips.
Ed breaks the kiss with a muffled gasp. "Fuck, Iz" he breathes. "I thought...you never wanted me to touch you unless you were sick I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."
Izzy gave a wet, choked laugh. "We're so fucking stupid."
Stede comes in for dinner, he'd been working with Lucius on something, to the most wonderful sight. Ed is sitting in a chair, one hand tangled in Izzy's hair as the smaller man kneels between his knees reading shakily from a book perched on his legs.
He dropped down to nuzzle against Izzy's back, smiling slightly when the smaller man barely flinched. "Hello there.' He murmurs. "What are we reading?" "He wanted the fucking tempest. Said you've been reading it." Stede beamed, and nodded; "Indeed! It's quite the story."
"How about we get some dinner? You lost weight when you were sick dear, and I don't think you had much to lose." Izzy nodded, letting himself get nudged up onto the couch and dug into Roach’s always delicious food.
He was falling asleep on Ed's shoulder by the end of dinner. Ed just chuckled, wrapped an arm around his side, and tugged him close and it burned in the best ways.
Ed laughs, softly, and hauls Izzy up with him as he limps over to the bed. "Sure you're not still ill, Iz?" He teases lightly. "Maybe you better sleep with your captains tonight, just in case."
"Just in case." Izzy mumbles, hiding his face in eds neck, Stede's hand in his hair.
Nestled between them, he hopes he'll be 'sick' for a good while yet