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Stede finds Izzy in the library one morning, so early the sun is barely peaking over the ocean, and Izzy tries to hide the book he's holding behind his back like he's in trouble and *panics* but stede just asks what he's reading. "Fuck off, bonnet. Pirates don't fucking read."
"Says who?' Stede asks mildly and Izzy can't, won't, tell him the truth. He won't be the one who makes stede upset with Ed, or worse, who makes stede think he has to change himself for Ed so he spits out "everyone!" And is gone, the book still tightly held in both hands.
Stede watches him, after that. Sees how he wolfs down biscuits and orange slices at meals but still stares so longingly at everyone else's meals, 'catches' him reading up in the crow's nest one day when there are a few precious free moments.
"Ed, did you know Izzy could read?' He asks him one day and Ed nods. "Course. He does the log book.' "Well yes, dear, but I meant more reading proper books?" Ed just laughs and says "pirates don't read, stede."
"I do" "yeah but youre...you. Iz has more important shit to do than fucking read. That's why he's the first mate and you're a captain. More free time for stuff like that."
Stede tries not to worry about That, until a few weeks later when they decide to have another Vacation Day. Izzy, as always, offers to be the guy who stays behind to man the boat, but this time Stede quietly stays behind too.
Ed tries to entice him away but he just smiles in a way that doesn't quite reach his eyes and says "it's alright love. I'll join next time." And camps out in the secret passages. Ed had insisted Izzy would just be doing boat stuff, and maintenance, but Stede....Stede isn't so sure
He's proven incredibly right. Izzy creeps into the library, finds a book with enough ease that it's clear this isn't the first time he's looked for it and sinks down into the comfiest chair in the library with a mug of what looks like hot chocolate.
Stede watches, in abject confusion. Izzy is wearing what looks like a shirt he's stolen from Ed, based on the sIze, and much more comfortable-looking pants, not a scrap of leather on him besides his belt. He looks...peaceful.
Stede reads quietly as Izzy does, and a few hours later, Izzy raises himself from his chair, and Stede stills as he enters the bathroom.
Upon his return to The Revenge, stede had made it clear that if he wasn't using the bath, anyone was welcome to but he didn't think anyone was
Now, he peaks through the secret passages and sees Izzy, making a hot bath. He uses the lavender bath salts and sits down with a hoarse groan of relief. He hides his face in Ed's shirt and slumps down til just his head is out of the water.
He lays there for a long time, eyes half-closed, looking more peaceful than Stede has ever seen him.
Stede can't help himself. He wants to know this Izzy, who reads a book in the bathtub and drinks warm drinks, and looks at peace. He goes around to the door and opens it slowly, with a soft "how are you doing, Izzy? Can I get you anything?"
Izzy flinches back, barely able to stop himself from dropping the book in the water. He looks *panicked*, eyes wide and terrified. "Captain?" He manages, sounding...sounding like he thinks stede is going to hurt him or yell at him or something.
That's nonsense of course and so stede approaches, reaching out to touch Izzy's hair. He flinched away, screwed his eyes shut tight, and mewled as stede oh-so-gently dragged his fingers through his hair. "Shh, darling." He murmurs. "It's alright, sweetheart."
He doesn't know where the terms of indearment came from but Izzy sobs. "Oh, my darling." He coos. "Oh, sweet boy, when was the last time anyone touched you like this? It's alright, shh, come here."
He strokes his face and Izzy hides his head in his chest and trembles.
He doesn't cry. Izzy isn't sure he knows how to cry, anymore. But he's trembling and stede strokes his hair and Izzy has completely lost the plot on what the fuck is going on.
"Why aren't you on shore?" He whispers. "Oh...well, I wanted to spend some time with you."
"WHY" Izzy hisses. He knows what he's like, knows how he hasn't been made to fit into Stede Bonnet's perfect world, but he thought...he thought he got a moment to indulge and he braces for the insults but they don't come.
"Would you like to come have some tea with me?" Stede says
Izzy finds himself sitting on a fucking chaise, in a fucking robe, with a slice of fucking cake and *tea* made how he likes it (2 sugar and a spoonful of honey). "The fuck are you doing?" He growls. "This isn't...this isn't how it works. This isn't how any of this works."
"Why not?" Stede asks, gently. "Why aren't you allowed to like this kind of thing, Izzy?" "Because I'm NOT" he roars, almost sending the cup flying as he stands and tries to move away but stede is there with one hand on his elbow and the other on his shoulder. "Israel." He says.
"Israel. What did Edward say?" He flinches back slightly, caught, unable or unwilling to shake off those soft hands. "We're pirates," he says, begging, like he needs Stede to set his world straight. "We don't. There's work to do I have to go work I can't..." "you can't what?"
Izzy snaps like a frayed line. "I can't be doing this. I have to be Working I have to keep the boat going. If I'm not useful then there's no reason to keep me and I need Edward to keep me."
Stede moves, catches his elbows, and hauls him close as Izzy starts to shake for real. "Shh, hush now, darling." He murmurs into Izzy's hair. "Of course, we'll keep you. You don't have to convince us; of course, we'll keep you."
He pretends not to notice the tears wetting his shirt as he sits them down, strokes Izzy's hair, and lets him cry himself out in his lap.
He coaxes sips of tea and bites of cake into the smaller man, who just sort of...gives up.
Izzy knows how this will end, but he's tired and he hurts and this tiny moment of peace is more than he's gotten in two decades so he surrenders to Stede's soft hands and warm touches. "I could read to you, darling?" Stede offers and Izzy hates himself a little for nodding.
When Ed gets back, Izzy is sound asleep on their bed huddled against Stede's side wearing a fucking robe. Ed just...stares in wide-eyed confusion and Stede looks at him looking very displeased. "Edward. Why does Izzy seem to think that he is only allowed to work?"
"I mean..." Ed shifts awkwardly. "Out here if you aren't working you're dead." He tries not to think about the weeks he'd spent in bed, where he'd done zero work and it had been Izzy working for two. he tried not to think about how Izzy never even took a day off cause he was sick
"Edward." "I'm sorry!" Ed blurts out, dropping to his knees by the bed without a thought of his bad one and reaching, hand inches from Izzy's sleeping form. "We were young and stupid and I didn't...I didn't understand yet. That you could like those things and still be a pirate."
"You told him not to." "not in so many words. But...but yeah I...that was the general gist of it." He admits. "And here, on this ship...it's not even that wrong, mate. Your crew still doesn't really...know what they're doing so much? so he...he just kinda...has to do everything?"
Ed creeps up onto the bed, sinking down and reaching an arm out and oh-so-slowly draping it over them both. Izzy makes a quiet sound, rolls over, and hides his face in Ed's chest. Both captains freeze but the smaller man doesn't wake. "'m sorry, Iz." Ed whispers into his hair.
He wakes up warm, with his head under someone's chin and a second body pressed to his back. He's cozy and the bed is soft and he has no fucking idea what's going on.
Ed is awake already, running a hand through Izzy's hair and he feels so fucking guilty when Izzy looks so fucking scared up at him and says, haltingly, "I'm sorry Captain. I'll go check on the sails right now." and tries to squirm out of his grip. Ed doesn't let him.
"I already did, Iz." He promises. "You and I're gonna have a little talk, first." Izzy's eyes go wide but he doesn't try to move again as Ed runs his thumb oh-so-gently over his tattoo on the smaller man's cheek. "I'm sorry, Iz."
"What?" "I'm sorry. I should never have treated you like that, like Work had to be everything you did so I could slack off." "It's fine captain I can...it's FINE. Please." Izzy whispers but Ed shakes his head, and tugs him a little closer so Izzy is practically laying on top of him
"Gonna do better, Iz." He promises, softly. "Startin' with not letting you get up at the fuckin' crack of dawn. Go the fuck back to sleep. Fang's got the deck and we aren't even movin' yet."
Izzy hesitantly lays his head back against Ed's collarbone and Ed wraps an arm around him. he stays awake, stroking Izzy's hair long after the sun has risen. Stede rarely wakes before ten; if he can get Izzy to sleep even close to that long, it'll be a win.
He doesn't wake up till Stede does, and every attempt he makes to flee is rebuked. Fang and Ivan are teaching the crew, today, so there's zero reasons Izzy needs to be on deck and Ed is determined to keep him down here, not working, at all costs.
By noon, he's sitting near Stede reading a book aloud in his low, gruff tone. He'd started reading it to himself but Ed had asked and Izzy could never deny him anything, so now he found himself with his head in Stede's lap and his feet in Izzy's.
All three were wearing robes (Izzy's was Adorably, hilariously large on him) and drinking tea that Stede had made. Izzy still looks hesitant, like he thinks at any moment they'll reveal this is some kind of fuckery, but he relaxes bit by bit as that doesn't happen.
He tries to convince them to let him go back to his cabin that night, but Stede refuses; he's seen Izzy's cabin, bare and cold and nearly sterile. "Absolutely not" he says. "You're sleeping right here, with us." Ed nods in agreement and Izzy can't refuse his captain.
It takes him a long time to fall asleep. He doesn't want to miss a second of this, sandwiched safely between his two captains for what he (like this, half asleep) lets himself hope isn't the last time.
It's not. They drag him in every night, with the promise of tea or books or good food. Ed clings like an octopus and refuses to let him out of bed until the sun is up. Stede coaxes him into lavender-smelling baths, tucks him into too-big robes, and reads with his head in his lap.
Stede coaxes Izzy to sit at his side during storytime, his head resting on his the taller man's leg. He eats meals with them now; sometimes Ed even manages to wrestle him down for lunch.
"I don't deserve this" he tries to tell Stede when his captain kisses him, one night before bed, but Stede just huffs and hauls him into bed and tells him very firmly "You deserve everything we can get you to accept." (getting him to accept kisses, it turns out, isn't hard)
The crew knows better than to ask, somehow, but it becomes common to find Izzy reading with Stede or joking around with Ed in the evenings, the two of them passing a bottle of rum back and forth or racing up the rigging.
Izzy tries to insist that he's wrong, the first time Ed tells him he loves him, but his captain just scoffs and says "You telling your captain he's wrong, Iz?"
He doesn't try again, after that, just nuzzles hesitantly into Ed's side and whispers it back into his collarbone.