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'Tis the Season

Summary:

Dipper Pines loved Halloween, and nothing was going to stop him from making the most of the season with his family.

Notes:

Happy Halloween! Today is my favorite day of the year, and I finished up editing this while drinking several Halloween-themed beverages at Starbucks.

Hazel and Makona along with the Billdip Parent AU belong to me (pokespec) and Vel (ve1art). The idea for the family's Halloween costumes came from my lovely PromptAnon!

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Dipper Pines regarded Halloween with a seriousness akin to the seriousness that most people would reserve for only weddings and funerals.

Part of it had been growing up as one half of a duo that ruled on Halloween. As twins, they found ways to make every holiday better. Group costumes had continued until they were too old to trick-or-treat, and then had started up again when they were old enough to go to adults’ Halloween parties.

The other half might have had something to do with being sorta-married to an actual demon who delighted in the more macabre aspects of the holiday.

Bill found most human holidays pointless and ridiculous, but Halloween was a different story. Ever since he found out that humans liked to dress up as monsters and decorated with skeletons and other death-related things, he’d deemed it the greatest day of the year and October, by extension, the greatest month.

With the two of them so adamant about celebrating the holiday to its fullest, it was no surprise that their children were swept into the whirlwind of Halloween preparations.

From October 1st, Dipper was swinging by Starbucks after dropping Hazel and Makona off at school so that he could get a pumpkin spice latte. He had what could possibly be considered an unhealthy obsession with them, and Mabel always teased him about being a teenage girl, but Dipper just brushed her off. He just really liked autumn, is all. And coffee.

He also didn’t complain when Mabel dropped off a “care package” that was mostly teasing but still well-appreciated, full of pumpkin scented candles (that were burned immediately) and other things likely found in the autumn section of Bath and Body Works.

By now, Bill knew better than to let Dipper do the grocery shopping at all during this month. Despite Dipper’s best intents to keep to his usual list, he couldn’t help throwing in the Halloween Oreos and Monster Cereals.

One package,” Bill had told him as he reached for the Oreos on their first shopping excursion of the month. The regulations were his, not Bill’s, set before they left the house. When he still had self-restraint.

After that, they’d agreed that allowing Dipper to shop alone wouldn’t end well. While their two young children would have been more than satisfied with cabinets full of Halloween candy and snacks themed around the holiday, neither of their parents would be pleased with the inability to get their hyper children into bed or deal with upset stomachs.

So, one package of Oreos. One box of Monster Cereal (Frankenberry, Dipper had decided, though choosing just one had felt like choosing between his kids).

Dipper didn’t have a problem. No, not at all.

He just really liked Halloween.

-----

The first weekend of October saw them at an apple-orchard-slash-pumpkin-patch, a family tradition. It was oddly warm for the time of the year, and Dipper was only slightly bitter that it wasn’t technically sweater weather yet.

The kids were as excited as ever to get to pick apples, though they (and Bill) didn’t listen to Dipper’s warnings that the rules stated that they had to pay for any apple they picked, and the three of them delighted in competing to see who could get the most apples knocked down in the most effective way.

In the end, they ended up with way more (like, about three times more) apples than Dipper had intended they pick. He supposed he’d be taking some over to Mabel and Pacifica’s, and probably to Stan and Ford if he made a work trip to Gravity Falls during the week.

Which he probably would. The cold weather always brought things stirring up from the woods of Gravity Falls, and fall was always a busy time for Dipper when people started to call his personal phone to ask him to come deal with some creature or another that had ended up taking residence in the public playground’s swirly slide.

Picking pumpkins was next. They decided to pick their own rather than buy the already-picked ones available for purchase. When the lady at the desk asked if they needed a worker to come with them to cut the vines, Bill had brandished a large, curved blade with a grin and Dipper had dragged him off before the frightened worker could realize that the length of the blade was probably longer than weapon regulations allowed in a public place.

They each got a pumpkin, Hazel and Makona both choosing ones that were too heavy for them to carry all the way back to the shop and forcing Bill and Dipper to both struggle with two pumpkins each.

In the shop, they paid for both the apples and the pumpkins, as well as the apple cider and pumpkin donuts that Dipper just couldn’t say no to after Makona asked (okay, well, maybe he would have bought them anyways, but he wouldn’t admit that to Bill).

At home, Hazel wanted to carve the pumpkins right away, but Dipper rationalized to her that if they carved them so early, they’d be rotted and collapsed by Halloween. When Bill started to suggest that he could just keep them alive with magic until the holiday hit, Dipper elbowed him in the ribs and shot him a glare. He was still trying to uphold a firm message of, ’we don’t use magic to do simple tasks in our household,’ for his kids.

That ideal was a dream that would likely never be accomplished, but Dipper could try.

-----

The second weekend, they went to a haunted house.

They met for dinner with Mabel and Pacifica beforehand, at a more casual restaurant since they’d be going out after and didn’t want to wear nice clothes, coupled with the fact that Dipper wasn’t ready to try and force Hazel to behave at a formal restaurant again.

Before going inside to eat, Mabel had approached them in the parking lot with a giftbag that the kids immediately reached for with grabby hands that Dipper disapproved of. But his twin sister just laughed and, after getting a hug from both of them, allowed the children to pull out the holiday-themed sweaters she’d made for both of them.

Hazel’s was black and covered in an array of monsters, some of them looking more realistic and less cartoony than what a child would usually wear. Mabel knew her well, along with knowing how similar her taste was to both of her fathers’.

Makona’s sweater was orange and patterned with black cats, a more simplistic design but one that had him happily hugging the sweater and profusely thanking Aunt Mabel nonetheless.

The kids both slipped out of the coats that Dipper had made them wear so they could (more happily) pull on their sweaters which were, as always, perfect fits. Mabel squealed at how cute they were and Dipper may have, just maybe, taken a few dozen pictures.

“Just for something to send to my parents,” he frantically told a smirking Pacifica.

“Oh?” the blonde woman raised an eyebrow. “Send them, then.”

He rolled his eyes but started a group text with them anyways and sent them a few pictures to prove his point. He was going to show her to prove victorious, but Hazel impatiently grumbled, “Can we go inside now? It’s cold.”

“Gonna be colder waiting in line for the haunted house, Sapling,” Bill told her, ruffling her hair despite her protests, but they made their way inside anyways.

Once seated, a waiter took their orders fairly quickly, as this was a restaurant they frequented and all already knew what they wanted. A few minutes into a conversation about Halloween plans, Dipper got a text back from his mother gushing about how cute the photos were but demanding that she receive a picture of him and Bill as well.

Dipper grumbled a bit but slung an arm around his partner and leaned in to take a selfie anyways. Bill was smirking the whole time and failed to hide it in the photo.

Mrs. Pines quickly answered about how handsome they both were and mentioned that she and the twins’ father really should come up to Oregon sometime soon. Dipper filed that away for later and tucked his phone away.

When they finished their meals, Pacifica shot Dipper a serious look and deadpanned, “I’m paying. Don’t bother arguing.”

He didn’t even try, not after many years of having this conversation.

“Does that mean we can get dessert?” Hazel asked eagerly, leaning over the table until she was practically out of her seat.

Dipper shot her a glance, no longer surprised at her (lack of) manners.

“You could have gotten dessert even if we were paying, Sapling,” Bill told her.

Hazel and Makona both shot a glance towards Dipper, who frowned back at them.

“It’s not about the money,” he stressed, all eyes on him as if he had to defend himself. “It’s just difficult, having two rambunctious children hyped up on sugar-”

“Papa’s using words we don’t know again,” Makona interrupted, looking at Bill for support. The demon snickered.

The kids both got dessert without issue, Hazel going with the holiday spirit and ordering a piece of pumpkin pie while Makona got a small ice cream sundae. Overall, it could have been worse.

They headed for the haunted house immediately after, arriving just as it got dark and just as the attraction was opening. Luckily, they managed to get there relatively early, so there was only a small line of people already queued up before them. They’d only have to wait for a few groups to go through before they got in.

Well, they would have.

If they’d gotten to go in.

While standing in line and making casual conversation, an actor donning a hockey mask and holding a fake chainsaw walked through the crowd, trying to startle the people in line. Dipper was used to this, having been to many haunted houses in his days, but when he saw the man quietly walk up right behind Bill, he didn’t say anything. His partner could afford to get scared sometimes, too.

Except when the actor leaned forward and rested a hand on the demon’s shoulder, trying to startle the much-shorter man, Bill yelped, swung around, and hit the actor with a left hook that would have made Grunkle Stan proud.

Hazel screamed. The punch was enough to knock the man to the ground and send the mask flying off his face as his hands came up to grab at where his teeth had pierced through his lip.

Dipper was eternally grateful for his sister and her girlfriend, for they were quick to pull the kids away from the scene and from the colorful language that the man was throwing at Bill, attracting the attention of other patrons. Dipper panicked, staring incredulously at his partner. While any other person would have been apologizing frantically, Bill just stared at the actor with a cold look.

Apologize,” Dipper hissed, elbowing him in the ribs and staring at the bleeding man in panic. Another bystander had already rushed away to get a medic, and several people were musing out loud about whether or not they should call an ambulance.

“He shouldn’t have startled me,” Bill answered in lieu of an apology, not bothering to lower his voice as he stared at the actor in disdain. The man just screamed, yelling more profanities and still clutching at his bleeding face.

“Okay, oh god, let’s go,” Dipper muttered, lowering his head and covering his face with one hand while the other landed firmly on Bill’s back, escorting him away.

They found the others all the way off by the cars, Pacifica at the kids’ level and obviously trying to calm them. Mabel mouthed, ‘What happened?’ and Dipper just shook his head, fuming.

“Can Bill ride with you?” he asked instead, grinding his teeth. His partner shot him a bewildered look.

Mabel’s lips twitched up.

“Of course,” Pacifica answered for her, looking at Dipper with understanding.

“Can we ride with Aunt Paz too?” Hazel asked excitedly, looking from Dipper to Bill and back.

“No,” Dipper answered firmly, glaring at his stupid, over-reactant demon. Bill stuck his tongue out in response, and the kids laughed.

Dipper bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying something that the kids probably shouldn’t hear as he ushered them into the back seat.

They didn’t end up hitting another haunted house, since Dipper was agitated with Bill and Bill was mad about Dipper being mad. The family was content to go home and watch Hocus Pocus with Hazel and Makona taking up the space between their fathers.

Bill didn’t sleep on the couch that night, but he had to work his way back onto Dipper’s good side.

-----

The third weekend in October, it was finally time to carve the pumpkins.

They’d somehow managed to lose all but one of their Sharpies, so they ended up all having to wait for one person at a time to draw their designs on their respective pumpkin. Hazel drew a cat face, complete with ears and whiskers. Makona drew a simple but cute vampire face, and Bill grinned, flashing his own fangs in response.

Bill himself just drew a pattern of triangles of varying (but all small) sizes, and Dipper internally groaned at how long it was going to take to cut all of the individual shapes out.

When the marker was passed to him, Dipper only hesitated a second before drawing a UFO with an alien peeking out of it, beams cast down underneath. Hazel made a noise of appreciation.

Makona was still too young to handle a carving knife on his own, so Dipper got to work doing the little boy’s pumpkin first, under close instruction. He cut the top off and let Makona start pulling out the guts and pumpkin seeds while he started on his own pumpkin. Bill did the same thing for Hazel, and soon, the layers of aluminum foil on their kitchen table were covered in pumpkin innards.

Before they could get started on the actual carving, Dipper made sure that everybody had sorted a good amount of pumpkin seeds from the guts so that they could be cooked later.

Finally, it was time to start the actual carving. Makona hovered over Dipper’s shoulder as he started to cut into the boy’s pumpkin, carefully directing and worrying that Dipper would mess it up.

This would be Hazel’s first year of carving her own pumpkin, after much debate and a whole lot of begging from a little girl who rarely didn’t get her way. Dipper had given in only under the conditions that she’d be using the smaller carving tool that came in the kit (which wasn’t really that sharp, anyways; at least it wasn’t sharp enough to cut through a misplaced finger) and that Bill would watch her.

Not that Bill could always be trusted, especially not after the stunt he pulled the previous weekend, but Dipper knew that the demon would never let either of their children be put in harm’s way.

In the end, all four pumpkins turned out great. Despite all of them itching to know what they would look like with candles inside and lit, they decided it’d be best to keep the suspense high and wait until it got dark out to see the pumpkins lit up outside.

It was a lazy day spent playing games with the kids and half-cuddling with Bill as Hazel and Makona lounged on the floor, crayons in their hands and art supplies all around them. They kept the Halloweentown movies playing in the background until all four had been watched and the sun had gone down.

Their jack-o-lanterns looked just as great outside as Dipper had hoped. They really completed the ambience of their house, which had been, of course, lavishly decorated on the outside. Dipper always went above and beyond in decorations, turning the front yard into a graveyard and hanging skeletons from the rafters. They got lots of compliments from the neighbors.

As they stood around and watched the candles flicker inside the pumpkins, Bill asked their kids if they wanted to see him turn the flames into different colors.

When Dipper heard how excited they were to see, he couldn’t find it in himself to protest.

-----

After a month of waiting, the day finally came.

Halloween morning had Bill bouncing on him to wake him up far-too-early, eager to start the day even though most of the festivities wouldn’t happen until night.

He made special pancakes for breakfast, with orange and black sprinkles thrown in, and the kids donned their Halloween sweaters.

After breakfast, the kids wanted to go to the park despite the chilly autumn temperatures, so Dipper bundled them up in several shirts each underneath their sweaters, and sent Bill with a bag containing hats and gloves in case they got cold. He got to writing, another deadline quickly approaching and too much of his novel being put off during the festivities of the month.

The real fun didn’t happen until much later. They started getting ready for trick-or-treating in the early evening, with costumes to don and plans to make. Mabel and Pacifica had come with them to take the kids trick-or-treating for most years in the past, but this year their vacation had been poorly planned and they had flown out earlier in the day to some private island that Paz’s family owned.

This year, they were dressing up as the Addams Family, something Mabel had suggested with a joke but that Hazel had immediately latched onto. As Dipper wasn’t one to half-ass Halloween, he and Bill always dressed up with the kids as well.

Hazel was going as Wednesday, of course (though she refused to wear a wig, instead braiding her already pretty short hair). It’d been impossible to actually find a Wednesday Addams costume- Dipper had checked every Halloween store, and in each he’d been met with the annoyed gaze of a tired, underpaid employee who informed him that the Addams Family was extremely outdated and that what was currently hot were Frozen costumes- and so Mabel had ended up making the dress herself.

Makona was dressed as Pugsley, though he was practically swimming in the oversized black-and-white striped shirt. Plus, Dipper had him in dark jeans rather than shorts, as well as a long-sleeved shirt under his t-shirt, as he wasn’t going to have his son outside in summer wear on a cold autumn night.

(Luckily Makona didn’t put up much of a fight. Dipper cringed at the idea of how big of tantrums he and Mabel had thrown as kids when forced to wear coats on Halloween. Hazel was already angry about the jacket that Dipper made her put on over her dress.)

After much debate about who they should be, Dipper eventually decided on Gomez while Bill was dressing up as Lurch- though for Bill, this really just meant putting on a suit and smoothing down his hair, while Dipper’s suit was pinstriped and he applied a horrible fake mustache rather than attempting to grow one. His attempt to slick his hair back only backfired on him the first time he tried, unruly curls refusing to relent, so he didn’t even attempt on Halloween night.

They planned to leave the house around six, when it was just getting dark but they’d still have a few hours before everyone started to turn off their porch lights. Dipper was just fixing Bill’s bowtie, ignoring Hazel’s frantic yelling for them to hurry up, when the doorbell rang.

His hands paused as he met Bill’s eyes. “Trick-or-treaters?” he asked, raising an eyebrow as his hands fell away.

“The porch light isn’t on,” Bill answered with a frown, seeming to concentrate for a moment before he stiffened. His gaze grew dark, and a sinking feeling settled in Dipper’s stomach as he hurried to the door.

Oh no.

He was already expecting it, but his stomach still dropped as he opened the door to one Tad Strange, dressed as…

Dipper frowned. “Are you dressed as Gomez Addams?” he asked in lieu of a greeting, blinking at the demon in front of him dressed in what was almost a perfect mirror of his own costume, fake mustache and all.

Except Tad had actually managed to slick his hair back in the correct way, which Dipper was absolutely not bitter about. At all.

Dipper didn’t manage to block the door off very well, for Tad just walked right by him and let himself into the house, both kids letting out squeals of excitement when they saw who it was. As Hazel launched herself at the demon’s legs with a cry of, “Uncle Tad!” the demon shot him a smile.

“That was the theme, was it not?” he asked, smile curving into something more like a smirk as he eyed Dipper up and down. “Though I must admit, the outfit is much more flattering on you...” His eyes lingered on Dipper’s legs, where his slim-cut slacks hugged his thighs well, for a bit too long.

Bill was there in an instant, prying his daughter off of the demon and lifting her into his arms as he stood in front of Makona and ignored Hazel’s loud protests. “Yes, that was the theme,” Bill hissed, his eyes flashing red. If either of the kids noticed, they were too used to it to comment. His voice dropped lower, obvious threat apparent as he continued, “For our family.”

Dipper softly and stiffly shut the door he hadn’t realized was still open, and yelped when Tad threw an arm around his shoulders casually. Bill’s eyes narrowed, his grip on Hazel tightening just slightly.

“Dad, is Uncle Tad coming trick-or-treating with us?” Makona asked quietly, shyly tugging on Bill’s pant leg and looking up with wide eyes.

“Actually-” Tad started.

No,” Bill snarled, “he’s not.”

Tad’s arm around Dipper didn’t drop, even as the man stood absolutely frozen. The demon’s fingers absently curled around a lock of Dipper’s hair, and he laughed nervously. Bill’s lip curled back in a snarl.

“Oh, come on, Billyboy,” Tad taunted, feigning hurt. “How’s about you let me take the kids out, and you two have a… night in?”

Dipper flushed at the implication of the words but used his chance to duck out of the demon’s grasp, stumbling a step to stand in between Tad and his husband. Tad’s eyes followed him, ever-present smirk never leaving his face.

Bill laughed bitterly, even as Dipper worriedly pulled their daughter into his own arms in fear that Bill was going to actually catch on fire, or something.

“You think I’d let you within reach of my children without me there?” Bill asked. His eyes had flared red and not yet returned to their usual gold.

Tad crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow. “You know the kids love me, Bill.”

Dipper couldn’t believe this. Tad was acting as if he was actually the kids’ uncle.

“Papa,” Hazel asked, whine in her voice as she turned big eyes on him, “Can we?”

Dipper’s heart hurt to tell her no, but he frowned. “I don’t know, sweetie, we don’t really-”

“Bill would know if they were in any danger,” Tad pointed out.

It was true. If anybody, Tad or otherwise, even approached the children with malicious intent, Bill would know and be able to reach them in an instant. And while Dipper was hesitant to ever trust his kids with another demon (one demon was already bad enough), the kids really did seem to love Tad and he didn’t seem to have any intent to harm them.

“Alright,” Dipper relented, ignoring the way his voice cracked in his uncertainty.

Bill’s eyes snapped over to him, jaw dropped. “What?”

“Yaaaay!” the kids chorused, Hazel squirming in Dipper’s grip until he set her down.

But,” Dipper continued, “Hazel, you’re going to take Dad’s phone and call us the second something goes wrong.” Bill really only had a phone for when Dipper went out of town and he was left alone with the kids, or for when Mabel wanted to make plans for surprises that Dipper couldn’t know about.

“Nothing’s going to go wrong,” Tad assured them.

In a second, Bill had crossed the space between them, skirting around Dipper so that he could grab Tad by the lapels. Dipper tensed, suddenly sure that Bill was going to rip the other demon’s throat out with his teeth.

Instead, Bill just stared him down. “You’ll have them home by nine,” he warned, voice deadly serious, “or you’ll never see the light of day again.”

Tad didn’t flinch. “Of course,” he purred, all-too-happy.

Bill dropped him with a noise of disgust, turning around and putting on a forced smile for the kids as he dropped to the ground. Both Hazel and Makona rushed over to hug him, and he murmured something low to them that Dipper couldn’t catch.

He shifted awkwardly. Tad shot him a smile.

“You two have fun tonight,” he purred with a wink.

Both Dipper and Bill hugged their children tightly before running over a quick list of rules with them and making sure that Hazel had Bill’s phone tucked into her jacket pocket. Bill said something quietly to Tad, and this time, the threat must have been worse, for the demon’s smirk finally wavered and some of the color drained out of his face.

It was difficult to let his kids leave with someone he hardly knew, but as the door swung closed behind them, he found he wasn’t as worried as he expected to be.

Bill paced around nervously for a bit, grabbing a throw pillow off the couch and slowly digging his nails into it until it was in pieces on the ground. Dipper let him have his moment, sitting on the couch until his partner seemed to have calmed down.

When Bill’s breathing had returned to normal, eyes faded back to gold, Dipper wrapped his arms around him from behind. He rested his chin on the demon’s shoulder.

“You know they’ll be okay,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to Bill’s neck. The demon shivered.

“I know,” Bill affirmed. Dipper was slightly surprised at the admission, but then Bill continued, “I’m just… not used to… feeling like this.”

“Worried?” Dipper teased. Bill turned around in his grip to glare, but his own hands came up to play with the collar of Dipper’s shirt.

Even after ten years of being together, ten years spent around humans, he knew Bill still struggled to keep his emotions in check. He had every right to be worried.

Dipper kissed just below his partner’s mouth, and Bill turned his head to capture his lips. “Let’s just not think about it for now, okay?” the human suggested, giving him a small smile. “After all, we do have three hours to ourselves.”

Bill still looked hesitant for a moment, but a smirk tugged at his lips. His fingers started to tug Dipper’s tie loose. “Let’s get you out of that costume, then.”

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