Work Text:
Jason was asleep. In bed. Safe. Then he was awoken by a giant floating eyeball.
Snapped awake, Jason immediately punches it. The giant floating eyeball is unimpressed when Jason’s arm sails through the fucker like its air. Jason scowls. Shitty, density-shifting ghosts.
“Who the fuck are you? Why are you here?”
“His Majesty requires your assistance.”
“Fuck that! It’s like” Jason leans past An Eye For A Face to reach his phone to view the time. “It’s four fucking a.m! Come back during business hours.”
“His Majesty requires your assistance,” Bitch-Eye Fuck-Face intones like a drone.
Jason drags a tired hand through his white-streaked hair, “Whatever the fuck Danny needs me for can fucking wait. Bitch I was asleep.” Sleep is precious. Good sleep is a fucking miracle. And yet this motherfucker,
“It cannot wait” and Cyclops McGee then fucking abducts him to the Ghost Zone.
Jason, feet landing on ephemeral matter, turns round and snarls right into the ghost’s whole-ass eye-face. All-Blades spitting with green and red fire are pointed point-blank at the other's eye-face with ill-constrained menace.
“Never. Pull. That. Shit. Again. Or Else your ghost ass is fucking
G̸̡̢̠̈́ṙ̵̛̻̭̥̼͔̻̬̑̈́͘̚͝ȁ̸̭̺̦̪͎̥ͅs̴̨͍̱̗̗̪͌͗͒̊̆̊̄ͅs̸̖̖͐͒͆̄̋́̓"(Eṇ̸̯̐͗̍͝d̸̢͓̠̰̀̒̂é̴̺̤̋͊̚̕ď̴͈̬̥͉̓̋̄-Te̵̿͜rm̴͈͒in̴̋͜aț̸̈́è̴̹d̴̽ͅ-Ģ̷̛̠̠͚̝͔́͂̋͊Ǫ̵͓̹̞͇͆̅̌͠N̷̼͍̣͗̐͂͑̚̚͜E̴̻͉͗̋̃̀͗̚͠)
It was very satisfying to see a Giant Eye be filled with fear.
“Mind your manners,” it spits out with the bedraggled remains of their dignity.
“I think,” Jason says silkily, “it would be in your best interest if you remembered to mind yours.” Jason sinisterly smiles. His All-Blades gleam with promised violence.
The ghost retreats. “His Majesty awaits your presence this way.” Jason unsummons the All-Blades. They enter Phantom Palace.
The temperature drops. Jason is suddenly vehemently reminded that he’s in nothing but gym shorts and socks. Having his Walmart socks against tiles that look carved from a starry night sky feels sacrilegious.
“Jasooooooon, JaAAson, JaySON!” Danny’s yelling as he flies, speeding from across the Entrance Hall Jason’s head. His cape, tail, and white hair trails behind him. He all but screeches to a halt right in front of Jason. Danny, barely meeting Jason’s shoulders, is forced to tilt back his head to look up at him.
“Jaaaaason, JasonJason, Jaybird, Jaybabe”
“WHAT?!”
Danny cocks his head, “What, what?”
“What was that last one?” Jason scowled disbelievingly.
Danny owlishly blinks his eyes, “What was that last one, what?” he repeats back with faux innocence. Jason doesn’t believe it one whit.
“What was that last one what the fuck you just called me!”
“Ohhhh” Danny nods silently for a moment. “Anyway Jason, you know, like… words, right?” Danny breezes on.
“Danny whuh-”
Danny just steam rolls on. “Help me with writing this invitation,” he pleads, hands clasped together. A fancy green scroll snaps into existence next to them.
Warily Jason eyes the floating scroll. He ignores Danny’s pitiful expression. Jason crosses his arms. He wished he had something on. “You in the middle of doing your kingly duties or something? Is that why you’re in a cape?”
Danny does a twirl in the air. The cape swishes behind him, displaying a dazzling scene of the cosmos. “You like?”
“The stars are pretty,” Jason grumpily admits looking away from Danny's starlight smile. Danny’s eyes go wide with excitement.
“I KNOW right! You would not believe the favour I had to do for Nocturn so that they would help me figure it out but like it’s so worth it.”
“What favour?”
“Urgh it involved going on this stupid long Fetch Quest to bargain Dream Dust from these Pixies, which trust me are way more annoying than they sound. Disney lies .” Danny viciously snarls. Then he swings to a more contemplative mood. “Which is probably why Nocturn had me do it, instead of themself because why else- Ahh wait you side-tracked me” Danny accuses, “I need your brains.”
Jason snorts, “And I thought I was the Zombie.”
Danny pouts, “I need your brains and your tongue.”
“Do you just not hear yourself, is that it?”
Danny flaps the floating scroll in Jason’s face, “Help”
“With what? Do you want me to lick it with my tongue?” Jason mocks. “Use your words.”
Danny flops, dramatically, like a swooning maiden. Before Jason’s feet he hovers a little off the floor.
Jason peers down. “Danny, the fuck are you doing?”
The cape promptly disappears. Danny lies still. Then he begins shrinking. He’s now the size of a ferret.
Jason is bewildered, “Danny, what the fuck are you doing?” he says watching Danny wiggles his little ghost tail whilst he wrestles with the fallen ghost scroll. Like a drunken bird, Danny sways under the non-existent weight to float up the scroll to Jason’s eye level.
Jason, rolling his eyes at Danny’s Woe Is Me dramatics, finally takes the scroll and reads what’s on it. Danny scrambles up his arm, his stabby little claws prick his skin. He lies down peacefully along Jason’s bare forearm. His white hair tickles the back of Jason’s hand.
On the scroll were many scratched out writings and rewritten lines. Reading the scrawlings, Jason does a double take when he reaches the final lines.
“Is this what I think it is? Oi Danny, I’m talking to you.” Jason lifts his arm to stare the limpet Danny in the eyes. Danny takes a moment and then blows a raspberry before he pointedly looks away and lies back down comfortably wrapped around Jason’s arm.
“Oh that’s real mature. Danny, don’t ignore me.”
Danny wriggles around in response. His claws scratch his arm like a kitten’s paws. His tail curls up tighter around Jason’s arm. Then the rest of him dangles upside down. Like a bat.
“You’re not cute like this,” Jason mutters, “are you seriously trying to pass off your paperwork to me? This doesn’t even look that hard to do. Just write the damn thing.”
Danny’s noodle body twists to face him. His sorrowful eyes begin to droop. Jason snorts. “Impressive but try again. I ain’t your secretary.” Jason then begins to look around, “Don’t you have secretaries? Where’s that Giant Eyed Fuck who dragged me here to deal with your nonsense?” Of course that supercilious fuckwit was long gone.
Jason begins to have a staring contest with little baby man Danny.
“Danny, I need you to turn back into a real boy and stop avoiding your work. Is this seriously what that Giant Eyed Fuck dragged my ass out of bed to help with?”
Danny swings back and forth by his ghost tail like a pendulum. Jason shakes his arm up and down. Danny now bounces up and down like a yo-yo.
“You’re a fucking brat,” Jason says astonished. “An actual little shit.”
“So you know John Constantine?”
“Yeah”
“Like personally?”
“We run in the same circles, sorta. He’s a colleague of my,” Jason then hesitates. He’s unsure how to define his relationship with Bruce since his Zombification. Can he still call Bruce his Dad? Isn’t he technically one of Batman’s Rogues? He sure as fuck wasn’t his Robin anymore.
“Of a former mentor of mine,” Jason finally settles on. It wasn’t a lie. Danny didn’t seem to notice, or at least didn’t acknowledge the hesitation.
“Would this mean you wouldn’t want to come?” Danny asks instead.
Jason laughs, “The fuck you mean?! Now I gotta come. Sign me the fuck up.”
“Cool. I was planning on making you part of my entourage anyway.”
Jason flicks Danny’s forehead for his presumption. “Who else is part of your entourage?”
“Well there Sam, Tucker, Val, Dani, Dan, maybe Vlad, that fruit loop is still on probation. Jazz probably won't be interested, Skulker definitely will be, and Ember might be since there’ll be a crowd and she’s always down for shenanigans.”
"Skulker, Ember?"
"Other friends of mine. Skulker’s a hunter, Ember’s a rockstar. I think they’re dating," Danny trails off, unsure.
“They ghosts or human?” Jason's banking on ghosts with names like that. But who knows whether there might be a secret third option that Danny failed to mention till now.
“What yeah they’re both ghosts, " Danny confirms. "Ember even has a fire core like you.”
“Wait she has a fire core, but she’s a musician?”
“Yeah”
“But she doesn’t have like a wind core, or a sound core or something musical?”
“Ohhh, that’s not weird. Not all ghosts have an elemental core. Whilst the ones who do, their Obsession doesn’t have to be directly connected with it. Having an elemental core just means that that element has a special connection to their identity or an impact on their psyche or self-image or something. There’s overlap for sure but it’s not absolute. Ghosts, the Undead especially, are complicated and have a lot going on even if there Obsessions don't make that obvious. Ghosts aren't”
“Caricatures, archetypes?” Jason offers.
“Yeah exactly,” Danny smiles. Then he frowns, “I think I know what an archetype is.” Jason rattles off the definition of the cuff. Danny smiles at Jason’s blatant nerdery.
“Can you do that with all literary terminology?”
Jason shrugs, “It’s not that impressive,” he dismisses.
“No, no, I’m very impressed. I can’t do that. Like I can’t write this invitation.” Danny starts pouting, “Jason pretty please help me.”
Jason rolls his eyes “Urgh fine, stop whining you big baby. Also, if I’m doing this then get me some damn clothes already. I don't know if you haven't noticed you abomination of nature but this Palace, it's cold as fuck.”
“Oh so the shirtless with shorts look weren’t a fashion statement then. Shame you look good.” Then Danny disappeared.