Chapter Text
Hot.
Wearing a feather-lined coat in the desert made one hot.
But Doflamingo knew that already, he had been to this desert many times before, and would never deign to sacrifice his personal fashion for something as petty as the heat.
Besides, the unforgiving rays made his exposed chest glisten quite attractively if you asked him.
The Vice Admiral stood on hot grains of sand, looking out over a seemingly endless sea of dunes. Behind him, Captain Trafalgar Law appeared suddenly, done with anchoring their vessel.
He turned to his young family member, “Hm? Out here all alone, Law? Where’s Sanji?”
“He’s-” Law started.
“FOUND IT!!”
In a streak of black, Sanji burst from the docked Marine ship and flew over to land, scattering sand everywhere as his raid suit accelerators came closer to the ground.
“I finally found my recipe log! It wound up in the wine cellar of all places...” Dark sunglasses and mask off his face, Sanji grinned happily at the two Marines. “Now I can document all the new foods we get to try here!”
Law and Doflamingo melted slightly at the sight of the excited man, both finding his innocent side adorable. As they traveled farther away from Germa, Sanji grew antsy, eager to finally explore another nation after being trapped beneath his Father’s boot for so many years.
“We’re here to see an old friend of yours, right Doffy? Where does he live? Is he close by?” Sanji asked. The blond peered around Doflamingo’s massive figure, as if his friend would appear suddenly from the sand.
“HA!” Law burst out in a short, mean laugh, “Sir Crocodile! His friend !” He wiped fake tears of laughter from his eyes, “No, he’s more like… like…”
“Like a king , ruling over the desert, dressed only in the finest of materials. My dangerous, predatory, sly beast of a man~” Doflamingo finished Law’s sentence, grabbing his own body passionately as he mooned over the Warlord with a devilish grin.
Law leaned down to Sanji and whispered in his ear, “...like an old crush Doffy won’t let go.”
Sanji processed this, then nodded in understanding. A flash of sadness consumed his face for a moment as he recalled Niji’s old fits about being rejected, but he didn’t let it consume him. His brothers were safe at home with Reiju, there was no need to mourn them when he knew he’d see them again one day.
“He’s more than just some ‘old crush’, Law.” Doflamingo admonished, “He’s the one. The only one for me! The only one worthy of ruling by my side, as my partner, my equal! He’s just too stubborn and proud to admit how good of a pair we are. My sweet Wani~ content to work alone in his shadows~”
“So basically,” Sanji whispered back to Law, “Doffy wants this guy to join his family, and he said no?”
“Our family.” Law corrected gently. Sanji felt his face warm.
“But it’s a little more… intimate than that.” The Navy captain continued, “Doffy doesn’t just want Sir Crocodile in the family, he wants him to join him as his husband.”
Sanji waggled his eyebrows at Law suggestively. “Ah, I see! So this was a journey of love for both of you then~”
“Well-! Um…” Law started to stammer at Sanji’s directness, still not quite used to being called out for his blatant affection. He cleared his throat, wishing he could blame the heat in his face on the cruel desert sun, “Possibly.” He finished lamely.
Sanji laughed in his face, beyond amused at the sight of the big scary Marine captain unable to look ‘his prince’ in the eyes after he staged an entire rescue operation against his villainous family for him.
“Maybe I’m a little sheltered in this area - we weren't exactly exposed to many relationships in Germa aside from political marriages… But why wouldn’t this ‘Sir Crocodile’ want to join with Doffy?”
Sanji began to tick off his fingers, “He has power, a large family, wealth, and isn’t an unattractive suitor, what’s holding him back?”
“Please tell me that wasn’t your thought process before you accepted my courting gifts.” Law deadpanned.
Sanji kicked at his shin, wanting more details about the Donquixote patriarch’s love life.
Doflamingo sighed loudly, slumping over dramatically. “Oh princeling, if only I knew! I could offer him anything he could ever want in this life. Well, at least in the old days I could have. Now he’s going to fulfill that wish himself…” A pout formed on the Vice Admiral.
“Huh? Old days? Do you mean before you were a Marine? What changed from then?”
“Oh yes,” Doflamingo murmured. “During the early days of the Donquixote Family we ran free ! No rules except for my own, no Sengoku breathing down my neck, a blur of hedonistic pleasure~ And there was one last piece of the puzzle that would have truly made it paradise!”
At the apex of his spiel, Doflamingo eyed Law, and his expression softened.
“...But plans changed. And now my family lives on in a new environment, together.”
A smile twitched on Law’s face, but he swiftly turned away.
Sanji was still confused. And now he was bordering on irritated that he didn’t have the juicy details he craved. “So…? What is it? What’s the thing you can’t give him anymore?”
“A country.” Law answered, “Back before we were enlisted, the Donquixote pirates’ final goal was the overtaking of an island, and reinstallation of its royal family. We would have ruled over the nation of Dressrosa.”
“And I would have shared it with him!” Doflamingo proclaimed, “But n ooo oo. Now he’s going to do the exact same thing and rule his own country! It’s like he doesn’t even need me!” Fake tears welled up behind his sunglasses.
Watching the impressive Vice Admiral fall to pieces over the rejection of one person was a strange sight for Sanji. Especially after watching him on Germa. He rubbed at his chin as he tried to imagine the kind of person who could have such a strong hold on a man like Doflamingo’s heart.
Someone strong, definitely. Doffy doesn’t care for weak people, so he’s probably muscular. And it sounds like he likes playing hard to get… which would work well on someone like Doffy. Maybe he’s more on the mischievous side? But he also mentioned something about working in the shadows, and with a name like Sir Crocodile he sounds like a shady guy…
Now he was more curious than ever to meet this mysterious man.
But what he looks like doesn’t matter. These two risked so much to save me, the least I can do is help them now! While we’re here, Doffy’s going to sweep this guy off his feet! He won’t know what hit him.
Determined, Sanji faced the two Marines. “Let’s go find him already! Even if your original courting gift won’t work anymore, I’m sure you have something else in store for Sir Crocodile!” He clasped his hands together at the thought. “Ah, It’s so romantic~”
Oh god, Thought Law as the blond swooned and wriggled around happily, He has no idea what those two are like together. But he’s so cute playing matchmaker I can’t discourage him…
Unlike Sanji, Law was familiar with Sir Crocodile, having experienced the man several times when he used to show up to Warlord meetings at Marineford.
More specifically, he had been subjected to Doffy’s shameless and often horrifically graphic attempts at seduction until Sir Crocodile refused to attend the meetings. Not that he blamed the man, Cora would turn beet red and faint half the time from the depravity that came out of his brother’s mouth. The fact that Sir Crocodile was able to just snarl menacingly in the face of his embarrassment of a Vice Admiral was impressive.
Those two… If my darling is really set on getting them together he’ll have his work cut out for him. From what I’ve seen, Sir Crocodile can’t stand Doffy. This is hopeless.
“Come along, Law! We have errands to run!” Doflamingo’s voice pulled Law out from his musings. He had clearly gotten bored with pretending to cry. Sanji stood next to him holding an eternal pose to Rainbase, anxious to get moving.
“Yeah, hurry! Doffy says we have to travel this way for a long time, even with Skypath !”
Law sighed to himself, dragging his boots through the sand, “I’m coming. I’m coming. But don’t forget…”
He suddenly swept forward, placing a hand on Sanji’s waist and grabbing his wrist with the other, “Alabasta is known for beautiful sights and bustling marketplaces, we’ll have to make time for ourselves to go exploring.”
Sanji felt a familiar heat fill his face, his mind flooded with romantic scenes. “Yeah,” He smiled, lovestruck all over again at Law’s open display, “there are so many things I need to see with you!”
“Children.” Doflamingo interrupted, “This is about me you know, can you two tone it down please?”
“R-right!” Sanji snapped back to attention, quickly twisting out of Law’s hold and walking towards Doflamingo. “Let’s find him already!"
Cold.
His office space beneath his casino was cold, and gloomy, and uninviting.
But Crocodile preferred it that way, it kept his bubblier employees, like Mr. 2, out of his space. He was still trying to see how he could redecorate to prevent Miss All Sunday from suddenly materializing before him, but it appeared she wasn’t affected by Feng Shui.
A stark contrast to the gilded pyramid above ground, his office was truly a slice of paradise for him among the gaudy casino clients and bright sun rays. A sanctuary of solitude.
Today, Sir Crocodile was as put-together as always, ensuring his plans against the Nefertari family were running smoothly as he sat at his desk, the occasional Bananawani swimming past the large window into their enclosure behind him.
Smoke wafted out from his mouth, making the area around the man slightly hazy. He was burning through his usual cigar faster than normal today. For some reason he felt more on edge, and had turned to the ever soothing nicotine to ease his worries.
“Miss Goldenweek and Mr. 3 are out, they should be reporting in within the next 6 hours… Cobra is still unaware of the fights breaking out in Yuba, I’ll arrive in a few days at the peak of the chaos and stop them, boosting my reputation… Exactly as it should be.”
Crocodile leaned back in his chair, gazing at the deep blue ceiling. All his pieces were in their respective places, why couldn’t he shake this uneasiness?
I won’t ignore instinct, after all these years I’d be a fool to not listen to myself. But still…
He stared back at the organized papers on his sleek desk.
Perhaps I’ll just investigate myself. Nothing is out of place for Baroque Works, so it must be an outside source. I’ll simply travel about the city using my sand. If there is a threat in Alabasta, I’ll observe them undetected.
Crocodile made his way to the exit, crumbling to sand before he left the room. The grains scattered and quickly moved for the surface level, rejoining into an inconspicuous pile at the stoop of Rain Dinners casino.
Even if I don’t spot the bastards setting me off, I’ll know they aren’t close to me. Perhaps I’ll send Miss All Sunday out if this persists. But if I do spot anyone suspicious, they’ll be a dead man.
His sand swept throughout Rainbase. Every corner, each shadow, nowhere was safe from his presence. But nobody fell to Sir Crocodile’s hook, no intruders could be found, no schemes, no rebellions against him, nothing.
Disappointed that his problem was still unsolved, the man reformed at the edge of the city and made his way back to Rain Dinners in his corporeal form, greeting citizens and humbly accepting their gratitude for keeping them safe all these years.
As he stalked back to his sanctuary, the threatening feeling from before still clung to him, breathing down his neck.
I should give Hawkeye a call, I can’t shake the feeling that it has to do with… him .
Crocodile was a damn successful Warlord, if he wanted company he could have it. But flunkies and cheap whores rarely interested him. He chose his companions carefully. Which is why on certain lonelier nights, he was often found in his office using a transponder snail to contact a choice selection, his fellow Warlord, Dracule Mihawk.
Hawkeye had always been a preferable acquaintance during Warlord meetings (when Crocodile still bothered to attend, that is). The man was blunt, honest, and kept to himself. The two had bonded over a shared love of the finer things, vintage red wines, high quality cigars, pure fabrics, and excellent food to start, then grew closer as they discussed more private matters, things they cared for in their respective lives, Crocodile and his Bananawanis, Mihawk and his garden.
Since both men were often classified as solitary creatures, their friendship was odd to many. But the occasional call and intellectual conversation they found in each other worked well for them. Neither felt pressured by the other to be more involved. When they found time, they shared it, and that was enough.
It’s been a while since we’ve spoken, I could use a glass of whiskey and his company. He always sounds so amused whenever Doflamingo comes up in our conversations, my frustrations with that man are an easy source of entertainment for that gloomy bastard, I’m sure.
Crocodile smiled to himself, already feeling a little more at ease.
The man would claim to his friend (and himself) over and over that Doflamingo’s affections were indeed, nothing but an annoyance. They certainly never affected him, he kept a cool exterior in the face of the flamboyant Vice Admiral, always showing blatant disinterest.
As his mind drifted to thoughts of Donquixote, a finger subconsciously twitched - his ring finger, the only one he refused to ever wear any jewelry on. He always kept that finger bare, as if he were waiting for someone to ask if they could provide something to wrap around the digit, someone who would be committed, devoted - a loyal partner for him.
But that would be ridiculous.