Work Text:
“I need to tell you something.”
“Not now Marimo. Don’t you see I’m a bit busy right now?!”
“There’s nothing you can do, you’re chained on a sacrificial altar.”
“So do you! But I’m not going to stay nicely here to get cut in pieces alive by shitty savages because they think that we’ll do great offerings for their shitty gods!”
“It’s really important Cook.”
“I don’t want to hear it!”
“You don’t mean that. We might not make it to the morning so I need to get this out of my chest.”
“We’re not going to die! Stop spouting nonsense or I’ll kick your green ass as soon as I’m free of these chains!”
“It’s no use! Stop struggling like that, you’re hurting yourself!”
“Then don’t give up! What happened to the man who’ll never die until he becomes the greatest swordsman in the world?!”
“I’m not giving up! I just need to tell you something but you won’t let me speak!”
“Because it’s bullshit, that’s why! Whatever it is, it can wait, because I won’t listen to your so-called last words!”
“I want to tell them because I don’t them to be my last words!”
Sanji struggled against his chains, wincing when it cut into the skin of his wrist again, and tried to ignore his nakama.
“When-“
“Aaaaah!! Lalalaaa I’m not listening to you!”
“Yest-“
“I’m not here, Sanji’s not here to listen to the stupid marimo!!”
“Cut the crap Cook! I just want to say-“
“OH GODDESS OF THIS SHITTY ISLAND, HEAR MY PRAY!”
“SHUT UP LOVE-COOK!”
“YOU SHUT UP MOSSHEAD!”
“WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” The chief of the natives shouted at them with a mean look, wondering why the sacrifices were making such a ruckus in the middle of their ancestral ritual.
“SHUT THE HELL UP!!” They both screamed with red angry faces.
The veins on the chief’s forehead came out and they just had the time to curse in their mind before the electric current went through their body, stopping them from saying anything else. The chief, satisfied of his silent sacrifices, went back to his people to continue his speech.
“That’s… all your… fault… marimo.”
“It’s… not… stupid cook.”
They glared at each other and really, if they weren’t chained, they would start to hit each other just to make their point.
One glance from the chief cooled their heated head instantly. They stayed silent for a moment, Sanji looking at his bloody wrists, Zoro watching people singing while washing a rusty bloody knife.
“What did you want to say anyway?” Sanji asked, sighing with something like resign in his voice.
“It doesn’t really matter anymore.”
“Yes, it does!” Sanji hissed between his teeth, whispering so as to not attract any more attention on them. “If we’re going to die, then let me hear it!”
“Maybe it’s best if we die before I tell you.”
“It doesn’t make any sense!”
Sanji shook the chains with his foot to demonstrate his frustration.
“You can’t just throw me a bone and then expect me to not want more where it came from!”
“Now that I think about it, it’s really not necessary if I tell you immediately.”
“Just say it!”
Zoro sighed.
“You’re not going to like it.”
“I don’t care! Stop buying time and just spit it out!”
“Alright alright!”
Zoro didn’t look at Sanji on purpose, but he knew that he was already on the verge of exploding, so he made it quick.
“Yesterday, I let the door of the fridge open.”
Zoro risked a glance towards his nakama but Sanji didn’t say anything for a while. He turned his head and looked at the sky before sighing loudly.
“Luffy?”
“Luffy.”
They both sighed at the same time.
“Wait, how did you manage to get the code and the key?”
“The code is Robin’s birthday and Nami wanted to drink too.”
“What…? But I changed the code-“
“Yesterday, I know. You’re too predictable sometimes Cook.”
“At least I don’t let the door open for our captain to feast on our supplies!”
As much as Sanji tried to be discreet, they both were zapped by the electric current, cutting short their argument.
The silence was only cut by the weird song of the natives.
“I want a cigarette.” Sanji finally said.
“I want a drink.”
“You shut up shitty swordsman. There’s no drink left anyway.”
“Maybe Luffy didn’t take everything. You seem to hide bottles in weird places in the kitchen when I look for them.”
“That’s beyond the point! With only alcohol, we’re not going to last for long!”
“We’re not going to last long at all with how the ritual is going nicely.”
“It’s over. We’re over. I’m not even going to see one last beautiful lady before going to the other side.”
“You’re so dramatic.”
“At least it’ll be quick.”
They both tensed when the electric current went through their body and they stopped talking for a while.
“What is Luffy doing anyway? If there’s no food left on the ship, he should be roaming the island like crazy to find food!”
“To find you, you mean.”
They both looked at each other with a pure look of illumination. They took a deep breath before screaming.
“LUFFY! FOOD’S READY!”
“I’M GOING TO EAT EVERYTHING IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR ASS HERE LUFFY!”
“THERE’S MEAT ON THE TABLE!”
“FRESH MEAT READY TO BE CUT IN PIECES!”
“MEAT!”
“LUFFY!”
They both groaned from pain when the electricity ran through their body and this time, it didn’t stop until the chief and the natives were surrounding them, the rusty bloody knife in the hand of the old man.
“Luf…fy…” Sanji managed to say between his teeth.
“…”
The knife was about to get through Zoro’s chest when they all heard a cry. It was terrifying for those who didn’t know where it came from but it was the cry of hope for the two sacrifices.
“MEEEEAAAAAT!!”
Luffy flew from the jungle and landed harshly on the group of natives who were about to kill his nakama.
“Sanji! I’m hungry!” He immediately said, completely oblivious of his surroundings, even with the outraged gasps coming from the natives around him being loud and clear. “Tell me Zoro didn’t eat everything yet?!”
Sanji and Zoro really wanted to talk with him but they were still under the torture of being electrified, and talking was not an option right now.
“Wait, why are you in chains?”
Their captain finally understood the seriousness of the situation and he instantly went into his angry protective mode. He took out the chains, immune to the electricity, and pulled. The chains didn’t break, but the altar in stone did, and the natives were really not happy about it. They started to attack Luffy from everywhere but he dodged them and knocked them out quickly.
It was ridiculous how easy Luffy was getting rid of these people but neither Zoro or Sanji complained about it, finally able to slip past their chains and help their captain.
“How dare you-“ Sanji kicked the chief before he could finish his sentence.
“The curse of the-“ Zoro cut the man with his newly reacquired katana.
“The gods will-“ Luffy slammed his leg against the crowd and send everyone to fly far away.
“Phew… All done!” The captain turned towards his two nakama with a big smile. “Now, where’s my meat!”
Sanji took his time to put a cigarette between his lips and lit it up while Zoro carefully checked if his katana were all fine.
“Luffy, did you eat what was in the fridge?”
“N-no…” Luffy’s lips went to the side and he couldn’t look in Sanji’s eyes, a dead give-away for his lie.
Sanji kicked him, and then he tried to kick the green ass of the swordsman because it was obviously his fault too.
“Then how am I expected to feed you, huh?”
Zoro grumbled something and Sanji was onto him again.
“And you! If you didn’t get lost every time we go to a new island, I would have noticed that there was no food anymore and I would already have found something to eat in this shitty jungle!”
Sanji continued to curse out loud and Zoro tried to not get riled up because, maybe, it was his fault, while Luffy stayed cleverly out of it because it was totally his fault.
“Hey, guys!” Usopp’s voice called them over and he tip toed around the unconscious people on the ground to get closer. “You wouldn’t believe me! Nami and I, we found a mountain with a lot of treasure!”
Luffy was enthusiastic by the news, Zoro was mildly interested, and Sanji sighed.
“And there’s food in your mountain of treasure?”
“Food? Oh yes, there’s a ton of…”
“MEAT!”
“LUFFY STOP RIGHT THERE! MARIMO STOP HIM!”
“LUFFY DON’T MOVE!”
“BUT I’M HUNGRY!”
“JUST WAIT, YOU BOTTOMLESS PIT! I’LL COOK FOR YOU SO DON’T EAT EVERYTHING!”
Usopp ran after them, wondering what the hell was happening but, hey, at least he never had to fight for his life on this island!
