Chapter Text
When Ellie comes in on Monday, she’s a little hesitant around him. Joel assumes it has to do with the weekend’s revelation about Sarah and decides to try and cheer Ellie up by allowing her to decorate for the upcoming holiday. He tracks her down in the front, her fingers trailing thoughtlessly over the spines of books in the science section as she stands in front of the shelves. “Thinkin’ maybe we’d close early today an’ go shoppin’ for some Halloween decorations. Whaddya think?” Joel offers with a small smile.
Honestly, he expects Ellie’s energy level to skyrocket at the prospect of turning the shop into some sort of haunted monstrosity. He’s already dreading the kitschy and unnecessarily gaudy decor marring his carefully maintained shop. He’s surprised when she turns around, a flash of something he can’t identify on her face before she schools it into a neutral expression. “You were closed on Saturday, though. It’s probably bad for your business if you keep randomly closing,” she says before turning back to the shelf in front of her.
“Good thing I’m the boss then,” he shrugs unrepentantly.
Ellie continues to run her fingers over the book spines as she speaks. “I can stay here while you go shopping,” she tells him. “That makes more sense than closing for no reason.”
Joel frowns, wondering if he’s done something wrong to make Ellie withdraw from him so suddenly. He decides to push a little more, hoping to break through the tension he sees in the stiff line of her shoulders. “Y’alright?” he asks softly.
“You don’t have to keep doing nice things for me, you know,” Ellie spits out bitterly.
Joel’s eyes soften as he replies, “I don’t have to do anything, Ellie, but I want to. Is that so bad?”
“Fucking whatever,” she mumbles under her breath.
Joel’s expression hardens. “Hey,” he says sternly, “I ain’t lookin’ to fight, kid. Just thought it’d be somethin’ nice to do together.”
Ellie crosses her arms over her chest in defiance as she turns to face him.“I don’t need your pity.”
“It ain’t pity,” he retorts with a shake of his head.
She raises an eyebrow. “Your charity, then.”
Joel lets out a sigh and answers, “It ain’t charity either. Girl, what has gotten into you today? You ain’t normally so…” He gestures vaguely.
“Bitchy?” she snarls, an angry smirk curved on her lips.
Joel shakes his head again and drops his hands to his side, shoulders slumping in resignation. “I was gonn’ say prickly. I know it ain’t ‘cause you’re hungry, so what gives?”
Ellie remains stubbornly silent. Joel’s frustration grows as the tension builds up inside him. He has been glad to grow closer to Ellie – it still surprises him how easily she slotted herself into his life – so the hostility she displays now is a bit beyond his comprehension. A part of him wants to lash out, but another part tells him to tread carefully with her. Something has changed, and he intends to get to the bottom of it. “Did I do somethin’ to piss you off? ‘Cause if I did, you need to tell me.”
With her back to him, he can’t make out her expression, but he sees the hitch in her shoulders. “Not everything’s about you .”
“Well, then, what is botherin’ ya? I don’t really appreciate–”
“Just leave me the fuck alone, dude. Fuck,” she says as she darts around him and heads for the balcony.
Joel stands there, silently fuming. He should go after her, keep talking to her until she breaks and tells him what’s bothering her, but his pride won’t allow him to do so. Instead, he takes a deep breath and runs a hand through his hair as he tries to think. What has changed since the last time he saw her? The more he reflects on it, the more he thinks it might not be anything he did.
He decides to give Ellie some space before trying again. He turns away from the front of the store and heads for the register, muttering to himself as he goes. He can hear Ellie moving around in the back of the store and finds himself hoping that she will work through whatever is bothering her on her own and come out with an explanation for him soon.
Nearly an hour goes by before he hears a muffled curse from the balcony and steps out from behind the counter. “You okay up there?”
“I’m fine,” she calls back, her voice unusually nasal as it carries down to the main floor.
Joel inhales deeply and sighs. “Don’t sound fine,” he mutters to himself as he straightens and heads upstairs. Ellie is standing by the graphic novels, both hands clutching her face as she tilts her head back.
“Let me see,” he says softly as he reaches for her head. He tilts her head down, frowning in the somewhat dim light as more blood spills over Ellie’s fingers. “Let’s go downstairs,” he tells her.
Ellie follows Joel down the stairs, trying her best to keep the blood from dripping onto the floor. He leads her into the office and presses her into the desk chair before grabbing a roll of paper towels and the first aid kit. He turns to Ellie, a serious expression on his face. “Alright, let’s take a look,” he tells her quietly.
She obligingly lets him tilt her head and looks up at him as he eases her hands away to press a wad of paper towel to her nose. He brings her hand up to hold it in place. He palpates her nose and cheekbones gently, frowning as she winces. As he pulls his hand away, he notices a smear of something other than blood on his fingers. “Are you wearing makeup?” he questions as he dampens a paper towel with some bottled water and starts to wipe the blood away from her face. Ellie remains silent and avoids his gaze. When he is done cleaning the blood and makeup from her face, dark bruises spreading out from her nose to around her eyes are evident.
He sets a trash can in front of her with instructions to spit any blood into it and carefully has her lean forward and pinch the top of her nose. With a gentle hand, he squeezes her shoulder before getting an ice pack from the freezer and laying it on her neck. “We’ll give it a few minutes before checkin’ to see if it’s stopped,” he murmurs as he rubs small circles on her shoulder. She nods slightly. Fifteen minutes pass and when Joel rechecks her nose, he finds it has finally stopped.
“Thanks,” she murmurs, embarrassed by the attention.
She stands and sways, causing Joel to gently push her back to sit on the sofa. “Stay put,” he murmurs. “I’ll get you somethin’ to clean up with.” He steps into the bathroom and runs the hot water, soaking several paper towels and wringing them out so they don’t drip. He pulls the desk chair over when he returns to Ellie’s side, sitting as he hands her the paper towels. Her movements are clumsy, but she manages to get most of the blood off her hands and chin before Joel takes over once more, carefully wiping the skin around her nose and upper lip clean. Sitting back in his chair, he observes her briefly before encouraging her to lie down. “You dizzy?” he asks as he tentatively reaches forward to press the back of his hand to her forehead.
Ellie closes her eyes at the contact. “Kinda lightheaded,” she admits with a soft sigh as she leans into his hand. Joel nods and grabs his jacket from its hook to spread over Ellie, who curls on her side with her legs pulled to her chest.
He adjusts the jacket to cover her fully and stands when the bell over the door signals the arrival of a customer. “Holler if you need me. Don’t get up yet,” he instructs as he steps into the shop.
Joel texts Bill with a request for juice and some sort of sweet snack for Ellie before busying himself with the customer. He looks up when Bill comes in a few minutes later with a bag in his hands and gestures to the office as he leads the customer over to the register. He keeps one ear on the conversation happening behind him.
“What’s wrong with you?” Bill roughly demands.
He hears Ellie shift on the sofa. “I’m fine,” she mutters as she zips something up.
Bill sighs as the sound of a rustling bag drifts out to the register. “Not according to Joel. Did you eat the school-provided lunch today?”
Ellie responds defensively. “I eat the school-provided lunch every day, asshole. It’s free.”
“How many times do I have to tell you to pick your lunch up at the cafe before school in the morning? I know for a fact you walk this way because I see you every morning. Those government lunches are filled with all sorts of chemicals meant to turn you into an obese slave to the capitalist system. At least if you-”
Joel leans against the door frame and rolls his eyes when Ellie makes eye contact with him and narrows her eyes slightly. “Ellie,” he sighs with exasperation when Bill stops speaking.
Bill narrows his eyes as he looks between the two of them. “Are you making fun of me again?”
Joel shakes his head as he steps into the room. “Nah. Ellie just likes to rile you up. Thanks for bringin’ this over, we appreciate it.”
“You appreciate it,” Ellie snarks. “I don’t know what it is yet.”
Bill straightens, a look of consternation on his face. “Ungrateful brat. See if I give you extra pickles next time you forget to order them,” he mutters. He turns to leave, brushing past Joel before he pauses and turns back. “Have Joel text me if you want something different,” he tells Ellie before leaving.
Joel sits next to Ellie and gestures to his jacket, which she slipped on properly and had zipped up. “Want me to roll the sleeves up so you can use your hands? I don’t want pastry all over my shit.”
Ellie makes a face but holds her arm out to him as she reaches for the bag with her other hand. He rolls the jacket sleeve several times and pushes her shirt sleeve up to keep it in place. He does the same with the other arm, pausing when he reaches her elbow. “What happened here?” he questions gently as he runs his thumb over the scar of what appears to be a human bite.
She pulls her arm back quickly and slides her shirt sleeve down to cover her arm. “Nothing,” she says brusquely. “Why did Bill bring so many types of juice?”
“Ellie,” Joel sighs as he examines her face. He tiredly runs a hand through his hair and sits back against the cushion. “Jesus,” he mutters to himself. “Just pick a juice an’ drink it. It’ll make you feel better.”
She narrows her eyes but picks up one of the juice bottles and opens it. “I’m not thirsty,” she complains.
Joel pauses to take a deep breath instead of snapping at her like he wants to. He gives up after a moment and decides to address the issue head-on. “What happened to your face, kid?” Joel asks, his voice soft with concern.
Ellie shrugs, a humorless grin on her face as she runs her hand through her hair. “To quote our Lord and Saviour Lady Gaga, Baby, I was born this way,” she replies with a wry smirk.
His eyes bore into her. “Ellie,” he says sternly.
She sighs, her shoulders slumping in defeat. “I got in a fight. It’s nothing.” She avoids Joel’s gaze as she speaks, tracing patterns on her jeans with her fingertip.
Joel lightly taps her knee before speaking. “A broken nose ain’t nothing, Ellie. What was the fight about?”
“Something stupid,” she grumbles. “Fucking forget it, would you?”
“Fine,” he replies slowly, clamping down on the rising anger at her refusal to open up. “If you don’t want to tell me about your nose, you can tell me what happened to your arm.”
Ellie balls her hands into fists, glaring at him through narrowed eyes. “I don’t want to talk about this. You’re not my fucking dad, leave me the fuck alone,” she spits out coldly before standing suddenly and stalking away from him.
Joel rises as well but doesn’t immediately follow her. “Ellie…”
She shakes her head. “Fuck you, man.”
“Hey,” Joel calls gruffly. “Take it easy – I just want to help you.”
Ellie spins around to face him again, her eyes blazing with anger. “Then you can help me by staying the fuck out of my business,” she says with a dismissive wave of her hand. “It’s my fucking life. I don’t have to tell you anything.” She takes a breath to continue when her nose starts bleeding once more. “Fuck,” she hisses as she slams the heel of her hand into the doorframe. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
Joel hastily grabs some paper towel and folds it to press under Ellie’s nose with one hand, his other lightly gripping her shoulder as he pushes her back to the sofa. He pulls the office chair over and sits in it once he has a fresh ice pack pressed to her neck, sighing when she deflates under his touch. “Quit bein’ so goddamn defensive for a minute, kid. You haven’t been to school since Friday, an’ I know you weren’t hurtin’ on Saturday,” he says gently. “One of the other kids at your house do this?”
She nods resignedly, leaning forward and resting her head in both hands as Joel carefully puts pressure on the bridge of her nose. “Alright,” he murmurs. “You’re alright.” They sit in silence until Joel checks her nose again. She’s gotten paler since this second nosebleed started, and he frowns in concern when he realizes it’s not stopping this time. “Hate to say it, kid, but I think we need to take a trip to that urgent care down the street. This ain’t stoppin’.”
Ellie starts to shake her head but thinks better of it, looking up at him tiredly. “He’ll get something from the insurance company about it.”
Joel hums as he swaps out the saturated paper towel for a clean one and guides Ellie’s hand up to hold it. “I’ll pay in cash. Not about to let you bleed to death from a broken nose.” She starts to protest again, but Joel quiets her by squeezing her shoulder. “Ain’t nothin’, kid. Hang tight, I’m just gon’ get my stuff together.”
He makes quick work of gathering his belongings and shutting the store down before helping Ellie up with gentle hands. “Let me know if it’s too much,” he tells her when she leans against him for support. She’s stubborn, though, and won’t accept any assistance she doesn’t need.
Ellie is leaning against him quite a bit more by the time they reach the urgent care. Joel settles her in a seat before checking in at the front desk. He fills out the paperwork quickly and with an apology to the receptionist – “My friend’s kid. I don’t have a lot of this information.” When he sits next to Ellie, he helps her change out the paper towel once again. “Not much longer,” he assures her as he runs his hand up and down her back gently.
When they call her name, Joel stands and keeps a hand on Ellie’s elbow. Her knees buckle when she stands, so Joel swings her up into his arms, one arm beneath her knees and the other around her back. “Easy now,” he murmurs as she groans softly. He follows the tech to a room and carefully settles Ellie on the exam table, keeping an arm around her shoulders until she’s leaning against the raised back.
The doctor comes in quickly – Joel suspects that has to do with the blood that’s started to drip down Ellie’s arm. Ellie’s fingers dig into his forearm, and he looks down in surprise. “‘S’alright, kid. Bet she’ll get you fixed up real quick.” She looks up at him with wide, fearful eyes before tracking the doctor’s movements around the room. When the doctor approaches, Ellie jumps in surprise and scoots closer to Joel, who wraps his arm around her shoulder again and lowers his mouth to her ear. “‘M right here,” he murmurs gently. “Ain’t gonna let her hurt you.”
Ellie relaxes slightly under his touch but maintains an obvious distrust of the doctor. The doctor, thankfully, seems unconcerned as she asks Ellie and Joel a series of questions. After a quick examination that leaves Joel’s usually strong stomach turning at the sight of Ellie’s blood, the doctor says she can cauterize the nosebleed.
The only way Joel can think to describe Ellie’s reaction to that is that her eyes light up. He’s somehow not surprised by this. “With like, matches and stuff?” she asks the doctor eagerly.
The doctor chuckles as she explains chemical cauterization to Ellie. Ellie’s momentary excitement dims noticeably when the doctor orders an IV and starts to set up for the procedure. She digs her fingers into Joel’s arm once again, lacing her fingers with his when he pries her hand loose. When the nurse touches Ellie’s arm to start the IV, she jumps and apologizes nervously.
Joel soothes Ellie by distracting her, asking some pointedly incorrect questions about Jupiter’s moons. She relaxes as she talks, and her grip on his hand softens. When the doctor actually starts the procedure, Ellie’s fingers resume their punishing grip on his forearm. He rests his free hand on the back of her neck partially so he can prevent her from turning her head too much and partly to provide her comfort. The doctor is efficient, and they quickly find themselves sitting in the room waiting for the IV to finish. Ellie falls into a restless sleep as Joel attempts to get comfortable in a plastic chair.
When a nurse comes in to disconnect the IV, Ellie wakes with a soft gasp, Joel stands and rests his hand on her hair. “‘S’alright,” he murmurs as she looks around, disoriented. “We’ll be leavin’ in a few minutes.” Ellie relaxes at his words, closing her eyes and drifting back to sleep until he wakes her with a gentle hand on her cheek. He’s pleased that there’s some color back in her face when she stretches and sits up with a yawn.
“Better?” he asks as she tentatively stands and gets her bearings.
She nods and leans into him as they start to walk back to the shop. “Just kinda tired now,” she admits with another yawn.
Joel squeezes her against him gently. “Good thing I’ve got that sofa then, hm? You’ve got a good stretch of time to nap.”
Ellie follows him into the shop and turns the sign on the door over to read ‘open’ before heading for the office and flopping down on the sofa with a sigh. “Sorry for being a bitch earlier,” she says as he opens the refrigerator to pull out a container of juice.
“You ain’t a bitch,” he says automatically, sitting next to her and squeezing her knee. “But I appreciate it. ‘M sorry for pushin’,” he says quietly.
Ellie turns and leans into him briefly, laying her head on his shoulder. “I know you mean well,” she murmurs.
Joel closes his eyes at her words and takes a breath before standing. “Go on an’ sleep. I’ll wake you for dinner,” he says as he steps over to the doorway and hits the light switch. He leaves the door open a crack, just enough light spilling into the room to allow him to see her curled on the couch. “Sleep well, kiddo.”
He ends up shopping without her and spends the week increasingly more confused and concerned when she refuses to help him decorate. She withdraws from him, too, which hurts more than he thought it would.
He gives up after a few days and puts a few things up before returning the majority of the decorations. The following week, Ellie informs him that she can’t work on Halloween because she has to “spend the whole day at church praying for the devil to come fuck me in the ass or something.” She ignores the look he gives her.
He’s fairly busy on Halloween – mostly handing out candy to the people who drag their kids in – and spends a fair amount of time thinking about how much easier things are with Ellie around to help. By the time he falls into bed, he’s so exhausted that he’s asleep almost immediately. When his phone rings, he jolts awake and fumbles for it, cursing as it drops onto the floor. He finally manages to answer it with a grunted, “What?”
“Is this Joel Miller?”
He runs a hand over his face, eyes closing in exhaustion. “Who’s askin’?”
“My name is Joan Caulfield. I’m a nurse over at Mass General. Ellie Williams asked me to call you.”