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He was gone.
Her best friend, her soulmate, her husband, and the man she fell in love with, was gone.
Monica couldn’t believe it. How could she? He was so young, and he was by her side for so long, and now… he’s gone for good. He’s left and he’s not coming back.
Monica didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t eat, she couldn’t leave the house, she couldn’t even breathe. She couldn’t function properly, because Chandler, the father of her children and the person who improved her life in every single way, was gone.
She had millions of thoughts and emotions swirling through her head. How did it happen? Why did this happen? Who allowed this to happen?
She was heartbroken, she was furious, she was shattered and she was so, so numb.
She felt everything and nothing at once.
She wanted him back. She needed him back.
Monica didn’t know how to move on. She didn’t know how to say goodbye.
Phoebe was the first friend she told, because Phoebe’s lost someone before, and Monica hoped that she would have the answers.
Phoebe came over to the house she shared with him, and the two women cried together over oatmeal cookies. When Erica and Jack came home, both having heard the news about their father, they joined their mother and aunt on the couch, crying with them, not saying a word.
In tears, Monica called her brother, asking if he could come over with Rachel. Ross asked her what was wrong, but the words couldn’t leave her mouth.
It was just impossible to believe.
She called Joey. She almost burst out laughing at his cheery tone, telling her all about the new movie he was acting in. It was almost like the old days until Joey asked if he could talk to Chandler, wanting to share the news with his best bud.
Monica broke down crying because there was nothing else she could do.
Joey asked her worriedly what was wrong, asked if he said something wrong, and if he could help. And then Monica actually laughed. A hysterical, mad, crazed laugh. And then she was sobbing again, trying to tell Joey what happened, but sniffling through her words.
Joey understood. He went quiet, somber, before asking Monica if she wanted him to fly over. She did.
When she told Ross and Rachel, Monica realized that this would be her life now, telling everyone she knew that Chandler wasn’t here. That he was gone.
When Rachel hugged her, tears streaming down her face after she heard the news, it almost felt like a happy moment. She hasn’t seen Ross or Rachel in nearly half a year. They were planning on coming over to the Geller-Greenes’ for Thanksgiving, were going to reunite and talk about the past together, about family life, about work… they were going to be together.
All six of them.
They will never be the six of them again.
Monica didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t believe it.
Ross, Rachel, and Phoebe decide to stay over at Monica’s house, to wait for Joey and to comfort the widowed woman. They laughed, they talked, they cried, and they held each other through all of it.
When Joey came, Monica wasn’t even surprised to feel the tears in her eyes, nor was she surprised that everyone else was choking up.
This wasn’t supposed to happen.
Not now. Not like this.
Life wasn’t supposed to be this way.
Why did no one tell them life will be this way?
They sat around the living room, looking through old photo albums and sharing stories about their friend. Joey talked about the duck and chick, Ross about their time in college together, and Rachel told them about when Chandler and she stole a cheesecake from their neighbor. Phoebe gave a long, theatrical retelling of the day Chandler told Monica he loved her when Chandler and Phoebe tried to out-flirt each other.
Monica told them about the day that Erica and Jack went to kindergarten for the first time, they weren’t willing to let go of their dad’s hands and refused to go in, so Chandler told them the story about his first day and how scared he was, and how in order to relax his nerves, his parents told him bad knock-knock jokes. When they asked him to tell them the jokes, he told them every single one, until the very moment they had to go through the gate.
They spent so long in silence, just holding each other and trying to comfort each other, even though none of them knew how.
The gang didn’t know what to do now. They didn’t know how to continue without their friend. They didn’t know how to take the next step forward.
They didn’t know how to say goodbye to Chandler.