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"Hi bbg" Clyde grinned, hugging his boyfriend Craig. Craig rolled his eyes but Clyde didn't notice. "Hey." Clyde frowned at his tone. "Are you mad at me?" He asked. Craig shook his head, "No." Clyde sighed unhappily, "Im going to class." He muttered before walking off. Craig rolled his eyes and watched him. Once Clyde had disappeared from sight Craig looked around to assure no one was there. He then took off his hat, holding it gently in his hands. "Hi, my pookie wookie munchin honey bear boo~" He cooed, smiling softly. The hat magically responded "Hello my hot fudge sweetie pookie kitten baby." Craig blushed at the name, before running one hand softly along Hats fabric. "Oh you like that name, don't you?~" His hat teased in a seductive tone.
Craig went red once more and looked at the floor to avoid looking at the hat. "N-N-No.." The hat chuckled, his raspy laugh sending shivers down Craig's spine. "Your face says otherwise, my lovely kitten." Craig felt butterflies in his stomach, and he became more flustered each time Hat spoke. "Hat...stop calling me those things, y-y-your making me embrwassed." Hat laughed once more, "Call me daddy and maybe i'll stop, pooksy kitty." Craig gave him cute puppy dog eyes, "Pwease stop cwalling me thwat dwaddy." He said. "I don't think I want to my lovely kitten hottie pumpkin spice pookie bear munchin sweetie honey boo wookie baby grill." Craig let out an embarrassed squeak, but couldn't respond before he heard a distraught voice.
"Craig?!!? How could you bbg?!?!!?!" The black-haired boys eyes went wide and the hat fell to the floor, "Hey pookie munchin kitty!! Pick me up now!! Your making daddy angy!!!" Craig quickly picked him up, murmuring a hushed apology as Clyde stared with wide eyes. "I--I thought we had something...." Tears welled up in Clydes eyes, and he ran off as he began to cry pitfully. Craig couldn't find a reason to care very much however. He had only gotten with Clyde to make his exes (almost every guy in south park elementary) angry, because Clyde had also dated all of them at one point. "Don't worry about him kitty wookie pookie bbg honey bear boo boo love baby grill pretty boy pookie, you have me." Craig smiled, "I know I do, daddy bbg pookie." Craig held the hat to his lips and began to makeout with him.
Clyde sat at the back of the school, sobbing uncontrollably. The goth kids had been out there when he ran outside, but they put out their cigarettes on him then left. Suddenly he heard the school door open, but he couldn't care to look to see who walked out. Then the mystery person tapped him on his shoulder. "G-Go away." He muttered through his sobs. "Don't you want to get revenge? ACKHDKF" Clyde recognized the voice as Twerk....no Tweek, actually no yeah it was Twerk. Craig had told him Twerk was crazy, and tried to kill him, or something. But Clyde wasn't sure he could believe anything Craig had told him. "What do you mean..get revenge, Twerk?" He questioned, wiping away his tears. "I mean...wait did you just- ACKhUHU- call me Twerk? The fuck dude?"
Clyde squinted his eyes in confusion, "Yeah..thats your name, isn't it?" Twerk twitched angrily, "NO!??!!? MY NAMES- HDIFHBVEW- TWEEK YOU FUCKER??" Oh. "Well you act like your tweeking so that makes sense...I guess." Twerk, sorry no, Tweek, rolled his eyes. "ANYWAY. What I mean by get revenge..is we ACKCK- steal stripe from him." Clyde gasped, "Really, should we do that?" Twerk nodded, "YES. He deserves it. He cheated on me with his hat too." Clyde took a deep breath, "I'll do it."
"Okay Twerk, how are we getting in?" Clyde asked as they stood infront of Criags house. It was dark and No one was home in the Tucker household. "MY NAME- ARGH- ISNT TWERK DUMBASS!!?!!?" "Oh." Tweek picked up a random rock and threw it at Clyde, hitting him in the stomach. "OW WHAT THE FUCK?!?!" "CALL ME TWERK AGAIN AND YOULL BE THE ONE IM KILLING BITCH!!!!!!" Clyde rolled his eyes, "Damn, it isnt that serious." "AAGHAGHSFDGHFDGHSUDWYGDHUFFHD!!?!?!>@>!" After Tweek calmed down they walked around the back, and opened the back door that was, for some reason, left unlocked. "Ooghfoghfhfd I want to tear everything in this house apart...AGAJAGJAJGA." Clyde blinked, "Uhhh...you can do that if you want, Twerk, I'll deal with Stripe." He said before walking off. "GOD DAMMIT ARRRHCCCKK DONT FUCKING CALL ME TWERK!?!?!?!!>!? YOULL REGRET THAT YOU FUCKING RHUGHEJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!?!!"
Clyde ignored him as he made his way to Craigs room. When he entered he seen Stripe, sleeping peacefully in his cage. Though he quickly awoke from the sounds of things being thrown and broken by Twerk downstairs. "I think Twerk is like, mentally unstable, or something." He muttered as he opened the cage and grabbed Stripe. The guinea pig squeaked with surprise, and Clyde rolled his eyes before doing what needed to be done.
The next day Clyde couldn't help but giggle as he seen Craig looking utterly depressed all day, but he also felt jealous when he caught sight of him kissing and hugging his hat after class. "Uhg...I don't know what Craig sees in that thing." Suddenly Twerk appeared beside him, "We could get rid of his hat too.." Twerk said. "Oh, hey Twerk." Twerk twitched angrily at this, but didn't say anything about what he had called him. "I HAVE EXPLOSIVES. We can set them up and you can lead the hat to them then i'll give you time to run before setting them off. ACKCKC--" Clyde smirked, "Perfect."
Clyde walked past Craigs desk. The boy had went to the bathroom and left the hat behind. Clyde snatched it before running out of class, "HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING?--" Mr. Garrison yelled, Clyde ignored him. Tweek was waiting behind the school so he could tell clyde where the explosives were planted. "HEY!?!?! LET ME GO NOW GRR!!! MY POOKIE WOOKIE KITTY BEAR WONT BE HAPPY ABOUT THIS!!!" Clyde rolled his eyes, "Thats the point." The hat started to growl. "IM BETTER THAN YOU IM AN ALPHA SIGMA MALE GRRGRGRGR!!!! LET ME GO!?!!!!?" Clyde ignored him as he walked out the back door of the school, where Tweek stood waiting. "You have the hat?" He questioned. Clyde nodded and held the hat up, "Sure do, Twerk."
"I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY ALPHA UWU GAY TOP POWERS!!!" Both boys ignored the hat. "The explosives are at Starks Pond. Go there and drop off the hat, but dont leave until i text you." Clyde nodded, before hurrying off. "ARE YOU UNDERESTIMATING ME?!?! IM SO MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU IM THE MOST SIGMA ALPHA BEST DISCORD MOD YOULL EVER MEET!!" Clyde scrunched his nose with disgust, "..Okay then dude."
Once he reached Starks Pond he stood waiting for a text message from twerk, but none came. He quickly texted him 'Dude, twerk, whats taking so long?' He was about done with having to listen to the hat go on and on about craig. "Oh my pookie wookie kitty cat kitten bear boo boo honey bae will be so mad at you!!! He never loved you by the way, hes always loved ME!!! Im his alpha sigma daddy pookie!!!!"
Twerk suddenly responded, "Goodbye. You shouldn't have kept calling me Twerk!!!! grgrgrg" Clydes eyes widened, realization setting in. Twerk set him up! Suddenly there was a loud beeping sound, and before Clyde could react the explosives blew up. The last thing he heard before he took his last breath was "NOWNOWOWOWOOOO!!!!!! MY POOKIE WOOKIE KITTY CAT BEAR BABY BOO WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!"
Craig sat on the edge of his bed as sobs racked his body. His head lay in his hands, as he felt a whirlwind of emotions. Regret, grief, heartbreak...
"I shouldn't have cheated on Clyde...now i've lost everything. My hat...Stripe...and Clyde himself.."