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Suguru barely sat down on Satoru’s bed, his laptop at the ready for the movie, when Satoru spills himself over Suguru’s side.
“Careful,” Suguru gently chides him as he stabilises the laptop, but of course his words don’t have an effect on Satoru, because if anything he gets even more clingy.
“Suguru,” Satoru whines out, stopping him from pressing play.
“What?” Suguru asks, aware that the fondness is practically dripping from his voice but it’s hard to be anything but fond with Satoru so easily invading his personal space.
Suguru can’t be anything but be in love when Satoru is so close.
“Your birthday is coming up,” Satoru says and Suguru nods, because it is indeed.
“Good observation,” he teases and chuckles when Satoru pouts at him.
“Don’t be mean to me,” he mutters, resting more heavily against Suguru. “Tell me what you want for your birthday instead.”
Suguru hums, mostly to play for time. He hasn’t thought about that yet and now that he’s practically forced to, he comes up empty.
“Tell me, tell me, tell me,” Satoru says and pokes Suguru’s stomach, who is quick to catch Satoru’s hand with his own.
“Stop that,” he breathes out, biting back the wave of nausea that’s threatening to overwhelm him.
They just came back from a mission and Suguru had to take in more curses than normally. His stomach doesn’t quite feel settled yet.
“Shit, sorry,” Satoru whispers and goes lax in an attempt to get Suguru to relax again.
“‘s okay,” Suguru mutters when he’s sure he is not going to throw up but his words don’t wipe that guilty look off Satoru’s face.
“It’s not. I shouldn’t have forgotten. I’m sorry.”
“I know,” Suguru breathes out and threads their fingers together, trying to reassure Satoru that he isn’t mad, trying to pretend that this doesn’t mean more to him than it does to Satoru. “Do you have another one of those candies?” he then asks to distract both of them and like Suguru predicted, Satoru lights up because he can do something for him before he narrows his eyes at Suguru.
“Stop stealing my candy, Suguru, you’re so mean, I need those to survive.”
“And I need them to not throw up, and you have enough to spare me one,” Suguru shoots back and Satoru grumbles a bit more, but of course he gets a candy for Suguru.
“Say aaahhhh,” he says as he holds the unwrapped one out to Suguru and Suguru is quick to snatch it out of his fingers, playfully nipping at them too.
Satoru screeches and wails and wipes his fingers off Suguru’s shirt in such an exaggerated manner that Suguru almost chokes on the candy, he laughs so hard and soon they are nothing more than a breathless puddle on the bed, nausea forgotten.
“No, but seriously,” Satoru says after a while, playing with a strand of Suguru’s now undone hair. “What do you want for your birthday?”
“Back to that, huh?” Suguru asks and he just knows that Satoru is rolling his eyes.
“Because you haven’t answered me. Tell me what you want.”
You, Suguru thinks but doesn’t say and when Satoru digs his bony chin into his sternum to properly look at Suguru he closes his eyes.
“I don’t know,” Suguru tells him, well aware that Satoru is not going to drop it until Suguru gives him a proper answer. “I haven’t thought about it.”
“There must be something you’re missing, something you want to buy for yourself. Tell me, so I can buy it for you.”
“You already buy all my shit for me,” Suguru gives back with a frown and Satoru huffs out a breath.
“So? Let me buy you something else.”
“Satoru, I have everything I need,” Suguru whispers, reaching out to card his fingers through Satoru’s hair and he can’t think about this too much or he’ll spill his entire heart out to Satoru.
He has everything he needs because Satoru is right there by his side.
“You’re really not making this easy for me,” Satoru complains, thumbing the edge of the forgotten laptop.
“I’m making this so easy for you,” Suguru shoots back. “Don’t get me anything.”
That makes Satoru look at him again.
“It’s your birthday. Of course I’m going to get you something.”
“Then I can’t help you,” Suguru sighs out though he is strangely touched by Satoru’s insistence.
Birthdays have never been a big thing for him, his parents mostly getting him useful stuff for the upcoming school year or something like that and Suguru didn’t really have to think about what to wish for until now.
“I want it to be a good present,” Satoru mutters, clearly dejected that Suguru can’t give him a few options and Suguru goes back to carding his fingers through his hair.
“If you get it for me, I’ll love it,” he promises him. “You could get me a pet rock and I would always keep it with me because you gave it to me. Don’t stress over this too much,” Suguru gently tells him and Satoru lets out a big sigh.
“A pet rock, huh,” he mumbles, his head right over Suguru’s heart and Suguru prays to all the gods he knows that Satoru doesn’t notice how fast it’s beating.
Sometimes Suguru is not sure how they always end up like this, invading each other’s personal space as if it means nothing, cuddling like they would die if they don’t get to, sharing their space in a way that makes Suguru think they might be made for each other.
“You still want to watch the movie?” Suguru asks after several minutes of them quietly laying together and he knows he has his answer when Satoru speaks up a moment too late.
“Nah, lets just stay like this,” Satoru predictably mumbles and goes heavy against Suguru, a clear indication that he’s falling asleep.
It’s not the first time they’ve shared a bed and it won’t be the last, either, Suguru is certain of that. He holds out for another five minutes, gives Satoru time to really fall asleep before he presses his lips to the crown of Satoru’s head.
“Sleep well,” he whispers into his soft hair and then he drifts off himself.
~*~*~
Satoru keeps asking him what he wants for his birthday, and every time Suguru tells him the same—he doesn’t know, he doesn’t need anything, he doesn’t want anything—he gets more and more desperate.
Suguru hates to see it, but it’s not as if he can help Satoru. He already told him that it doesn’t matter to him, that he doesn’t care, as long as Satoru thinks of him while buying it and he doesn’t know how else to explain it to him.
“Suguru, please,” Satoru says one day and his voice is serious in a way Suguru is not used to. “Just give me something. Anything.”
“I can’t, Satoru, I really can’t,” Suguru says and he almost feels bad about it, even though it’s not something he can help. “There is nothing I need. I have everything I want right here. Stop stressing about this, please. Pick me a flower from the sidewalk for all I care.”
“It’s going to rot,” Satoru mutters, his shoulders dropping and for one horrifying moment Suguru thinks Satoru is going to cry.
“That’s what flowers usually do, yes,” Suguru agrees and reaches out to take Satoru’s hand in his. “Listen. Just spend the day with me, alright? Let’s do breakfast at one of the fancy places you want to try out and then just do whatever the rest of the day.”
Satoru frowns at Suguru, and he seems displeased. Suguru can’t help but thread their fingers together, hoping to stave off some of the bad mood that’s clearly creeping up on Satoru.
“But that would be something I want to do,” Satoru protests. “I want to do something you want to do.”
“Did it ever occur to you that maybe I want to do the same as you?” Suguru asks. “It sounds like a perfect plan to me.”
“But you always complain when I drag you out to eat with me!”
“Because you choose the most random ass times to do so, Satoru,” Suguru chuckles out. “Two in the morning is not a good time to go for dinner. Besides,” he grins at Satoru, “it’s too much fun to rile you up.”
“You’re so mean! I can’t believe that you do that to annoy me,” Satoru whines and drops his head on Suguru’s shoulder.
“Come on, you love it,” Suguru gives back and scratches at Satoru’s scalp, willing his heart to stay in his chest.
Truly, if he could as for one thing in the world, it would be to always be able to be this close to Satoru.
“I do,” Satoru mutters though he doesn’t sound too happy about it.
“See, win-win for both of us,” Suguru easily says and then shrugs Satoru off. “Now come on, all this talk about going out for food has made me hungry. I’m thinking pizza.”
“No way, I know just the place,” Satoru says, immediately back in high spirits because he’s easy like that.
He walks ahead of Suguru, rattling off all the possible options they have that are not pizza and Suguru is so content in that moment, that he wishes he could convey it to Satoru, simply to let him know just how unnecessary it is to do something special for his birthday.
Being able to follow Satoru while he rants about food is truly all Suguru needs in his life.
~*~*~
Satoru is acting strangely. Suguru knows this because they are watching a movie and Satoru is sitting far away enough that they don’t touch.
This has never happened before and Suguru feels cold twice over.
“What’s wrong?” he asks over the yelling in the movie but it’s not as if he’s been paying attention.
His mind has entirely been focused on Satoru.
“Nothing,” Satoru says, too quickly, with a voice that is just a little bit too high and he shuffles another few centimetres away from Suguru.
“Satoru.” Suguru tries to keep his voice even, but Satoru is worrying him and he can’t fix it if he doesn’t know what’s going on.
“Suguru,” Satoru replies clearly rolling his eyes at him and that, now, is almost normal.
Almost. The distance between them feels like a chasm and Suguru doesn’t know how to bridge it.
“You need to tell me if something is wrong,” Suguru tries again and watches how Satoru pushes a shaking hand through his hair.
“Nothing is wrong,” he insists again and almost flinches when Suguru reaches for his hand.
It stings, to see him this jumpy around Suguru and it almost makes him hesitate but in the end he captures Satoru’s hand in his.
Like they have done countless times. Satoru’s hand never shook like this before, though.
“Are you nervous?” Suguru asks, because he needs to understand what’s wrong, needs to have Satoru tell him so they can get past this but Satoru presses his lips together.
“Go back to the movie, idiot,” he says, clearly trying for their usual teasing but it falls flat into the chasm between them and Suguru reluctantly takes his hand back.
Satoru doesn’t stop him.
“Tomorrow, do you still want to—” Suguru trails off, not sure how he can ask if Satoru still wants to spend his birthday with him, but this, at least, gets a real reaction out of Satoru.
“Of course we’re spending your birthday together, don’t be so stupid,” he hisses out and looks at Suguru for the first time since he came into his room.
“Okay,” Suguru whispers and hopes that whatever it is that bothers Satoru will resolve itself.
Because he really doesn’t know if he can survive a birthday with that much distance between himself and Satoru.
~*~*~
“Happy birthday, or whatever,” Satoru says as he thrusts a small package at Suguru.
“Thanks, I guess?” Suguru carefully replies, and he hates to see how pinched Satoru’s face still is.
His mood did not magically improve over night and Suguru fights the urge to shake him until the truth spills out.
Instead of doing that he busies himself with unwrapping the gift and he lets out a huff when a pet rock falls into his hand.
It’s white and Satoru glued blue googly-eyes on it.
Suguru loves it dearly.
“Thank you,” he breathes out, carefully cradling the rock in his hand.
“Yeah, whatever,” Satoru mutters, unable to meet his eyes and Suguru sighs as he puts the rock down on his bedside table.
“Satoru. I thought you might be nervous about the stupid gift thing, but you haven’t been nervous about this.” He nods towards the rock. “What’s truly going on?”
Satoru opens his mouth but Suguru interrupts him rather rudely.
“If you say nothing I will use rock-Gojo to bash your head in,” he threatens and watches how the fight leaves Satoru.
“I’m a coward, that’s what’s going on,” Satoru says, almost too quiet to be heard and everything in Suguru rejects that statement.
Satoru might be a lot of things but a coward is not one of them.
“You’re not,” he immediately says and then takes a moment to think things through. “Rock-Gojo is not the present you wanted to give me,” he then hazards a guess and he knows he hit the nail on the head when Satoru shuffles on his feet.
“Yeah,” he agrees when Suguru waits him out and Suguru steps close, close enough that he can lean their foreheads together.
“Satoru, it’s just me,” he whispers in the space between them and Satoru lets out a choked laugh.
“Yeah, that’s the problem.”
“I don’t understand,” Suguru admits but it seems as if something he said reached Satoru because when he pulls back, there’s determination in his eyes.
“Fine, I’ll give you your real gift. But you—” he briefly bites at his lower lip, “—you have to promise you won’t be mad.”
“I’m always low-key mad at you when you open your mouth, so no,” Suguru teases him and it does startle a brief laugh out of Satoru.
“You’re the worst,” Satoru mutters. “Don’t even deserve this.” He puts his hands on Suguru’s shoulders and turns him around. “Stay like that until I tell you to turn,” he instructs and Suguru easily nods.
He can do that for Satoru.
Suguru hears some shuffling behind him but it doesn’t sound as if Satoru is leaving the room so he must have had the present with him all this time. It only makes Suguru wonder more just what it could be but he guesses he’s going to find out soon enough.
“You can turn around now,” Satoru says but he sounds strange and Suguru fears he’s going to bolt any second now, so he’s quick to do what Satoru said.
He turns and comes face to face with a Satoru who seems even paler as he usually is and then Suguru’s eye gets caught on the ribbon wrapped around Satoru’s throat.
“Tada,” Satoru weakly says. “I’m your present.”
Suguru forgets how to breathe, his mind racing. Surely, Satoru can’t mean it in the way Suguru wants him to mean it. Surely, there must be another meaning to his words, something less innocent, something that doesn’t mean Suguru is allowed to keep him.
“Knew you’d hate it,” Satoru mutters under his breath when Suguru doesn’t move for too long and it’s enough to finally spur him into action.
“Satoru,” Suguru breathes out, stumbling forward to take Satoru’s hands in his. “You’ll have to explain. Because this—you have to explain or else I’m going to get the wrong idea.”
“The wrong idea?” Satoru asks. “What’s there to get wrong. I’m gifting myself to you.”
It still doesn’t make any more sense to Suguru because it’s everything he’s wanted for such a long time that this cannot possibly be true.
“As in, for the day? As a joke? Satoru, please, I—”
“As this,” Satoru softly says, apparently finally picking up on Suguru’s panic and he leans forward to brush his lips over Suguru’s. “I thought—maybe you’d want me, like I want you,” Satoru whispers when they part and it’s enough.
Suguru pulls him into a crushing hug, burying his face in Satoru’s hair and simply holding him as close as he can.
“I love you,” Satoru says and that, truly, is the best birthday gift of all times.
“You’re no longer allowed to give me another birthday gift ever again, because you cannot top this,” Suguru chokes out. “I love you, too.”
Suguru chuckles and Suguru feels it with his entire body. He wants to do this for the rest of his life.
“I was so nervous about this,” Satoru admits, tightly gripping on to the back of Suguru’s shirt.
“That’s why you were so strange yesterday,” Suguru says and at least that makes a little bit of sense now.
“Yeah, sorry about that.”
“You scared me,” Suguru admits and Satoru moves impossibly closer.
“Sorry. I was just—I really thought you’re going to hate this and I was so nervous.”
“Satoru, Satoru, please,” Suguru mutters and pushes him away so he can look him in the eyes. “How could I ever hate you? Don’t you know how much I love you?”
Suguru thinks back to all the times they held hands, to all the times they cuddled and fell asleep tangled up with each other but then again—it’s not as if he knew that Satoru loves him, either.
“Don’t answer that,” he rushes out before Satoru can say something. “I didn’t know, either. About you loving me, I mean.”
“We truly are a pair, huh?” Satoru laughs out and Suguru wants to taste that laugh for himself, so he simply leans in again.
He also finally undoes the ribbon around Satoru’s throat.
“In case it wasn’t clear, I’m accepting my present.”
“You don’t want the receipt?” Satoru cheekily asks and it’s so good to see him back being his normal self that Suguru melts against him.
Satoru staggers slightly under his weight and it occurs to Suguru that normally, it’s the other way around. They’ll have to change that. Suguru is big on equality and he’ll make sure to drape himself over Satoru more.
“Never giving you back,” Suguru whispers, brushing his lips over Satoru’s throat, just where the ribbon had been and he feels Satoru shudder underneath him. “You’re mine now.”
“Feels more like a present to me,” Satoru admits and Suguru smiles into his skin.
“We share everything, anyway, so it’s only right that it’s for both of us.”
“Okay,” Satoru shakily agrees and Suguru blindly reaches out to thread their fingers together.
“Best birthday present, ever,” he reiterates and Satoru squeezes his hand.
“Noted.”
They stay like that for a while, basking in the presence and warmth and love of the other and Suguru finds himself unwilling to ever move again.
He has everything he ever wanted right in his arms, after all.