Work Text:
Part 1 - Gwen Stacy
EARTH-65 - Chelsea, Manhattan, New York
Okay, let's go over it again - one last time: My name is Gwen Stacy. In my dimension, I am the one and only Spider-Woman since I was bitten by a radioactive spider four years ago. I lost everything only to find something worth fighting for.
Only to completely screw it up in the end...
She looked at the Polaroid that she had always carried with her for six months. The edges were already worn, but the content and what it meant to her were as clear as ever.
She had hoped that after defeating The Spot she would be able to convince Miles of her, but again she hadn't said what she wanted to say. Instead, she fled into her usual world of mystery and fear. How was she supposed to tell her best friend how sorry she was for keeping everything from him? Visiting him and lying to him the whole time.
Every time she closed her eyes she saw the shock on Miles' face. And with each subsequent nightmare it only got worse. It had gotten to the point where he was saying things to her that he hadn't said in the past. Rather, it was her own thoughts about her betrayal of Miles.
At that very moment, she felt as helpless as Miles did when he faced the entire Spider-Society. He, the anomaly between everyone. The first anomaly that had ever rocked the 'Spider-Verse', as Miles called it.
“Shit,” she said, throwing the pair of ballet flats into the corner of the dressing room. She slumped against her locker, barely holding back the tears that formed in the corners of her eyes.
🕷️
HALF A YEAR EARLIER
"He'll come back," said Peter B after Miles disappeared through the portal. Back to his New York, to his world. Without The Spot, without Miguel, without... her.
Peter had taught Miles a lot. And at some point, while everything was falling apart, he also became her mentor. Without her wanting or demanding it. But Peter, no matter how quirky she thought he was in his coat and sweatpants, was always honest with her. He was her only friend in this society of spider-creatures. She stopped calling them 'people' because honestly, she had seen enough cats, horses and even dinosaurs with spider senses there to know that nothing was impossible. There would probably be a Spider-Ramen soon... it certainly wasn't that far-fetched.
Peter gently shook her shoulder. He wasn't her Peter, not the man she had unknowingly killed in her world. But in his face she saw so much of what had made her Peter to her Peter. The calm, the sacrifice, the square jaw. But she also saw the abyss within him, the hidden secrets. If she had known back then that her Peter was the Lizard...would she have held back in her fight?
That day she destroyed her own ideal world with a kick and a falling scaffold. And she vowed never to show her feelings openly again, for fear that everything would be taken away from her again.
But then she met Miles. And no matter how crazy it was that they came from different dimensions, they were quickly on the same wavelength.
In his presence everything suddenly felt so... simple. She laughed honestly again after so long. Gwen Stacy was finally a young woman again who no longer felt alone. All because of the boy from Brooklyn, with his disheveled hair and initially clumsy attitude. She had someone her age with whom she could have talked about her feelings. If only she had done it.
Images of their bus ride together came to mind. Miles with his unmistakably charming way of offering her friendship. But all she did was close herself off after seeing Peter in front of her eyes.
"I don't think so," she finally whispered to Peter B, turning away from the portal. "Did you see the look in his eyes when Peni gave him his portal watch? It didn't look like he ever wanted to use it."
Gwen sat down on a ledge of the roof on which she and Peter were now standing.
Peter chuckled softly and flopped down next to her.
"You're a strange duo," he said after a while, where they just stared silently at the Nueva York skyline.
"We're not a duo!" Gwen replied defiantly, looking down in shame. "Not anymore at least."
Fresh wind blew around her nose. Like back then...
There was no point in denying who and what she was. Especially not in front of Peter.
"Why does Gwen Stacy always have to fall for Spider-Man?" she cursed and gritted her teeth. "And why it always doesn‘t end well for her?"
Suddenly Mayday jumped onto her lap. "What the..."
Gwen stopped worrying about how this little baby managed to sneak up on her unnoticed. And anyway...they were sitting on a roof? How did this kid even get up here?
Peter looked at the two of them, and as the father of this little devil, he should have been angry with Mayday. But something in Gwen's eyes stopped him.
"I told Miles when we were chasing him that Mayday grew on his crap. Miles changed a lot. He destroyed the canon and proved to us that our dimensions can still exist. If it weren't for him, I would still be sitting in my small apartment, chastising myself and eating dozens of pizzas, hoping one day I won't drown in self-pity. But because of him, I know that you can change your life. There are no boundaries stopping you. Mayday only exists because of Miles."
Gwen looked at him questioningly.
"All I'm trying to tell you is that you always have a chance to make a change. And just because Gwen Stacy has always fallen for Spider-Man and eventually died, doesn't mean the same thing has to happen to you. Only you have control over what you do. No canon, no Miguel, no one else can stop you. And besides..."
Peter looked at her mischievously. "In no other universe that Gwen Stacy was Spider-Woman. But you..."
From her expression, which immediately became more positive, he saw that his words had an effect. He didn't want her to be depressed, and every time he managed to pull her out of her self-doubt.
"Give him time, and he will soon realize how much he needs you too."
🕷️
"Hey Gwen," her father George greeted her as she walked in the door. His daughter had changed. Her gait had become cautious, her shoulders slumped.
“How was the tryout?” he asked.
"Great," she said sarcastically. "Screwed up again."
Her father saw her red eyes faster than she could hide them. She had cried. Not for the first time in several weeks.
"Is...everything okay?" he asked carefully.
Gwen looked up in shock. "What? With me? Of course... I... uh... I'm fine. Very fine, actually... very fine."
She was a lousy liar. She stormed to her room door and was about to open it.
"Gwen...this has been going on for weeks now. You cried, not for the first time."
She turned her face away from him and bit her lip. Great, another lesson.
"I just have something in my eyes, nothing more! Alergic season is kicking, you kn…"
"Sure..." her father sighed. She closed herself off from him again, but could he blame her?
"Dad, everything's okay!" she shouted and slammed her door.
The noise made George jump and fall silent. He saw her shoulders shaking. He could hear the heavy breathing as she tried to keep everything inside.
He sighed to himself. It had something to do with the rest of this Spider Society, he just knew it.
It had been quite a shock when he found out that his daughter was Spider-Woman at the Guggenheim Museum. He spent so much time hunting her because he was convinced that she was the murderer of Peter Parker, his daughter's best friend. He spent every waking moment trying to catch her. To bring her to justice and at least reassure Gwen that the murderer had been caught. And for a moment, standing in the art gallery, he had thought he had finally done it. Nothing could have prepared him for the face he would see when she took off the mask.
He wasn't proud of what happened next. He pointed a gun, a literal loaded gun, at his own daughter. He had labeled her a villain without hesitation. He had regretted it the moment it happened. And then she was gone, walking through a portal like in a bad science fiction movie. He did nothing about it, in shock at discovering who his daughter really was and how long she had hidden her identity from him.
With no guarantee that she would ever come back. But she was. And despite everything, she had been able to forgive him. And he would be eternally grateful to her for that.
However, their relationship was still distant even though he supported her. Although he was no longer a police officer, he was still well connected enough to cover up Gwen's operations. He had seen her come back from her last fight, carrying a deep sadness within her. And no matter how many times he tried to get her to open up, she just wouldn't.
But now he couldn't ignore it anymore. He had to confront her. And no door in the world could stop him.
His daughter was hurting inside, and as her father, he would do his best to fix that. As he should have done back then.
"Gwen," he whispered quietly to her. "I...everything that happened in that museum. Everything about it was wrong, I know that now. And I can never apologize to you enough for it. But I thank you for every minute, since you forgave me. Even if I don't say it. I know you don't want to talk to me and I can't blame you. But I want you to know that you can always talk to me. I will try my best to understand everything what you want to say to me then. I will always be there for you."
It became quiet between the two of them, and again George felt like he hadn't reached her. That she would disappear again, behind her door, and only open it again when she had buried what was bothering her deep inside her. Just like she always did. He looked down sadly until he heard a whimper. Gwen had turned around, her whole body shaking. And he could see the tears in her eyes, begging to be released. All they needed was this one last push. And all he did was spread his arms, wordlessly.
Gwen didn't hesitate this time. She lunged at her father in a split second, wrapping her arms around his back and burying her head deep in his chest.
And then she screamed…
She let it all out while he held her tight. She screamed so violently that he was startled. But he could feel that all the pain she carried inside was released from within her in this moment. She couldn't be strong anymore.
George picked her up in his arms and carried her to the sofa as she continued to sob, sitting her down and pulling her as close to him as he could again. It tore him inside how destroyed his daughter, the light of his life, was. If he were still a police officer and he knew that someone had hurt her...he wasn't sure what he would have done then.
But here he knew that her pain had another reason. One he couldn't fight with the law. So he remained silent and listened as her crying slowly and slowly became quieter. And only when he was sure she had gotten rid of most of it did he speak.
"Tell me what's wrong, little one."
And finally she did it. She told him about Miles, about the entire Spider Society. About Spot. About everything.
"That...wow," he finally said when she finished her story.
Gwen chuckled, a hint of a smile playing on her mouth. It had been good to finally be able to talk, and it was high time for that to happen. And it made her even happier that it was her father.
"Really Dad?" she asked, surprised and amused. "That's the only thing you can think of?"
George stroked Gwen's hair. He still couldn't get used to her hairstyle. But this was his daughter, and if she wanted this change, he would support her.
"No, but... you understand, all this is already for an outsider..."
"Sure, Dad," she said. She was already worried that he didn't believe much of it.
"But it makes me proud," he said finally, and Gwen looked up, startled.
"Everything. Because I learned one thing back then: You may have kept your identity from me, but never what you did. And if you tell me now everything that happened to cause this 'Spit' ..."
"'Spot'," Gwen moaned, laughing, and punched him gently in the side.
"'Spot'," he grinned back. "...to stop this 'Spot' then I know all of it is true."
Gwen rubbed her eyes with her sleeve and sniffled. She sensed his pride in her accomplishments, but that wasn't what she really wanted. "But...I...I lied to Miles the whole time! What kind of friend am I that I could do that!"
George stroked her cheek again. "I... don't know much about spiders... and I still don't hope you end up sitting in the corner up on the ceiling." He winked at her and she laughed.
"But you told me that spider people can only bond if they allow themselves to sense each other, right?"
Gwen nodded cautiously. "But I screwed everything up. He doesn't want anything to do with me anymore."
Her father raised his eyebrows at her.
"Think carefully. You said you could sense him when he was captured. In a completely different dimension!"
Gwen had never thought about it. The hunt for Spot and the search for Miles became too blurred into a colorful, fast monotony.
"Tell me he doesn't think the same things about you as you think about him, with that in mind. He wanted you to connect with him."
"But how... do I get him to trust me again?"
George laughed. "Gwen, when you were gone, I asked myself the same thing. What can I do? What can I do differently? I was selfish and almost arrested my own daughter, and I failed her! But I realized that everything what I could do was wait. For the right moment, for you to come back and for me to get a second chance."
Gwen sat up. "But how did you know you would get a second chance?" she asked, amazed at his optimism.
"Not at all," George replied simply. "Sometimes all you need is a leap of faith. Gwen, I don't know if Miles will forgive you. I barely know him to know that. But I know that you can't give up, no matter how long it takes. Have faith, believe in your second chance."
"And what if I just make it worse? What should I do?" Gwen asked uncertainly.
George stroked her shoulder. "What I just did. Hold him tight and don't let him go!"
That was easier said than done, Gwen thought. Even if she really wanted to. She wanted to tell Miles that she had made a huge mistake and that she would never lie to him again. She belonged with him, at his side, and there was nothing in this dimension or any other that could stop her then. Because the truth was that she loved him.
Yes, it was that simple: Gwen Stacy from Earth-65 was in love with Miles Morales.
So she decided to wait. To the one, the right moment that would hopefully come.
She thanked her father, and they were both happy that they could finally talk to each other.
It still took a long time that afternoon until she was able to find peace lying on her bed. And just as she was about to finally fall asleep after several hours, there was a knock on her door.
"Gwen?" her father asked cautiously.
"You have a visitor."
Part 2 - Miles Morales
EARTH-1610 - Brooklyn, New York
When the disinfectant-soaked cloth touched Miles' back, he hissed loudly. "Ouch!"
"Hold still, Miles!" his mother growled at him. "How did you do that again?"
"Mom, it was just a ledge. Ten meters at most."
He rolled his eyes. His mother knew that he healed quickly thanks to the spider mutations within him. But when she saw him in the hallway, she reacted faster than he could disappear into his room. Or maybe it was Hobie holding him.
"Miles, bro," he sighed, sitting behind Rio on one of the chairs in the dining room. "I' was more than ten meters, dude."
"You're no help, Hobie!" Miles shouted.
“Oi din't mean to be eitha,” Hobie raised his hands defensively.
Spider-Punk was the only one Miles trusted after all the multiverse chaos was over. He helped him get out of the cell in Nueva York while everyone else was arguing with Miguel. Miles visited him every now and then when he wasn't in high school or chasing New York's petty criminals. Things became more peaceful after half a year, but he still had trouble getting used to his father not being there anymore... at least not like it was before.
"Miles," his mother asked him. "Be honest. What's wrong with you?"
Miles pulled the shirt back down and gently slapped her hand aside. "It's all right!"
“It's all right?” she asked challengingly. "You're doing worse at school, coming home later and later. And now this, for the third time!"
She deliberately grabbed Miles' wound hard, causing him to yelp. "I don't know what it is that's bothering you so much, but you should get over it as soon as possible. If it continues like this, you'll be jeopardizing everything you've built. Is that what you want?"
Miles looked down and said nothing. “Do you want that?” Rio asked again louder.
But again Miles didn't answer.
"I know it," Hobie said calmly, and Miles' eyes snapped to him.
"Don't you dare..."
"Gwen," Hobie said it briefly and painfully for Miles.
"The girl? Spider-Woman?" Rio wanted to know. Miles had introduced her as 'Gwanda', but it was Gwen herself who told her her real name when she rescued Rio from the hospital that Spot had attacked.
She owed her life to Gwen, and so did her husband, Jeff.
"I don't want to talk about it!" Miles snapped back and stood up. He rushed to his room, but was pulled back by Hobie with a net rope.
"Dude!" he shouted in the direction of the other Spider.
"Miles, as much as I support rebellion...fuck the system and all...but it's time for you to face your demons. And it's easy to say here what your biggest demon is," Hobie explained and patted him on the shoulder.
"Miles, mi amor. Please," Rio begged her son.
Miles' gaze shifted from his mother to Hobie and back again. He stood rooted in front of them, looking for a way out, but neither his mother nor Hobie did him the favor.
He bit his bottom lip and collapsed into one of the chairs. "It's not because of her!"
“Miles?” his mother warned him urgently.
Miles' bottom lip quivered with tension. Until he threatened to burst inside.
"Okay, okay!" he shouted angrily. "I...I just can't believe that she kept all of this from me. She knew that I was seen as an anomaly by the Spider-Society, she knew that Spot only existed because of me, and that our Spider-Man died because of me. If she had told me all that before I entered the portal..."
He played with his mask between his fingers to release pressure before knocking something else over.
"She never should have visited me! What should I think now? Did she visit me because she missed me too? Or was I just in the way of the job she had to do here?"
"That's great," Hobie whispered, earning an annoyed look from Miles.
Miles was seething.
Gwen knew about his father's fate, and she kept it from him all the time. That he would sacrifice himself in an attack to save others. She knew it and just didn't do anything about it.
And even though she and the Spider-Gang arrived just in time to help him, there was still the sting of betrayal in his heart. He had hoped that she would understand him. She was like him after all.
She was close to him like no other member of the Spider Gang. Everything was so easy around her. He could be who he was and not have to worry about who knew his identity. He had wanted her to be with him so often. And when Gwen jumped through the portal onto his bed and looked around his room, his heart was filled with happiness. He even forgave her for taking his collectible figure out of the box! Because she came to him exactly at the moment when he was in danger of losing his way.
When it was all over, he was actually happy that she was the one who saved him. It eased some of the pain he was carrying. But every time he thought about all the people who came to his aid, Gwen's eyes were the first thing he saw.
Those blue eyes, innocent and guilty at the same time.
He just wanted to leave when she stood in front of him after the gang had said goodbye. Part of his body wanted to fall into her arms as she tearfully confessed how sorry she was for all of this. And damn, they were young! None of them had ever experienced what it was like to ever be important to someone.
He saw her body shaking from the pressure that she couldn't let out because everything depended on him. Of his decision. He knew then that they were more than just friends. At least if it hadn't been for her betrayal. That was why the other half of him had to turn away. He couldn't risk being hurt again by those he loved.
So he rejected her and it broke her heart. Gwen shrank several centimeters when he told her his decision. She closed her eyes in desperation, internally pleading for the grief not to overwhelm her.
And then as he turned around and walked through the portal back to New York, to his Brooklyn, he felt his heart breaking too.
Rio grabbed his hands.
"Mi amor," she began, careful with her words and shocked by how broken this young man, her son, was in front of her.
"Gwen is important to you..."
"No, not anymore," Miles interrupted her.
Rio looked at him with a doubtful look. "Hobie, please get Miles' artbook, the one with the drawings on his bed."
Within a few seconds the book was on the table and Miles gulped as it lay in front of him.
He used to draw so much when he was still making his first steps without blame. But now this book was like a symbol of his nightmares.
“I want you to open it,” Rio Miles asked. "Page by page."
Miles' hands shook as they touched the cover and he slowly opened the first page.
There it was again. Her face. Dozens of versions of her, laughing, from a time when he thought she belonged to him.
And the further he leafed through the newer drawings, the more distant her gaze became. Until he only drew her masked and with her back turned to him. Only the last picture showed her face again, but the way she looked at him in Nueva York. The shock in her eyes as he broke away from her web.
When she realized she didn't deserve his trust.
"Strange. You draw her a lot, even though you want to tell me you don't care about her anymore," Rio said, reaching for her son's hands again.
"I want you to know one thing, she only came back because of you, Miles," she finally said. "You have every reason to be angry with her. But despite everything, she came for you. She wanted to make up for her mistake."
"I'd love to believe that," Miles sighed, looking to the side.
"Your mother is right. And what she doesn't know..." Hobie continued. "She was Captain Morales' salvation."
Miles immediately looked at him.
"The house that had caused Spot to collapse and fall towards your father...it was Gwen, and only Gwen, who had slowed the fall with her nets. I saw her deciding against this canon event also happening here on your world, with your family. Of course she couldn't stop the collapse. But she was the one who made it possible for you to save your dad and the child in the first place. I know he's still lying there in hospital because of his legs, but without Gwen..."
Miles looked at him with wide eyes. "Gwen was that? But...why didn't she ever tell me?"
One more secret, Miles hought hurt.
"Because it was her choice," Hobie explained. "She didn't want you to come back to her just because of that. She wanted to earn it."
"Miles," his mother spoke again. "I saw the look in her eyes when you two stood under the water tower at the party. She cares about you so much. And you wouldn't be so angry and disappointed if you didn't care about her just as much. I saw how she looked at you after you saved your father. She was so proud and broken at the same time. But she didn't dare speak to you."
Everything about this theory was irrefutable, Miles thought. And that was what angered him so much. He wanted to get Gwen out of his life, and at the same time he wanted to pull her close and never let go. It was just unfair.
"How can I trust her anymore, Mom? After everything she'd done."
Rio rubbed his hands with a soft smile on his lips.
"When you close your eyes, what is the first image you see?"
Miles complied with her request, knowing in advance what he would see.
Dozens of moments merged into one image in his mind's eye. That of a young woman with blonde hair and pink tips. The piercing on her right eyebrow. And the gap in the teeth.
"It‘s her ..."
"Do you want to trust her again?" asked Rio.
There it was, the big price question. He wanted her so badly. Trust her again. He wanted to be by her side again, to get over everything - together.
Because the truth was that he loved her.
Yes, it was that simple: Miles Morales from Earth-1610 was in love with Gwen Stacy.
"Yes," Miles said finally, a whole stone falling from his heart now that he had finally said it.
Rio got up and went to his room. And she came back with the portal watch and threw it into Miles' hands.
"Your father also disappointed me once when he went around the houses with your uncle Aaron again, spraying, and was caught by the police."
“Nice,” laughed Hobie. "A spraying policeman... a true masterpiece."
"Quiet, Hobie," Rio hissed at him.
"He disappointed me so many times. And when I had to get him out of the detention cell one day, I never wanted to see him again. Guess who kept trying to convince me again."
Rio looked Miles deep in the eyes. "Don't make the same mistake we did. You go to her now. And bet you come back alone."
No further words were needed. Miles opened the portal and stood in front of it before looking around again.
Rio nodded encouragingly and Hobie looked at him expectantly.
"Apartment 23, Miles," he called to him and Miles smiled.
Then he disappeared through the portal.
"Gwen? You have a visitor."
Part 3 - Ghostflower
EARTH-65 - Chelsea, Manhattan, New York
Gwen pushed herself out of bed. She didn't expect to have visitors.
She was already expecting an acquaintance of hers from the ballet school, which she had recently visited again as a distraction, who wanted to dissuade her from giving up everything again.
Since Miles, nothing has been the same in her life. She had lost her Peter, the man who had been her main anchor in a completely unplanned life.
Shit, she was fourteen when that spider bit her and fifteen when she lost Peter. How was she supposed to know what a normal life felt like, with all the fighting and running away from her father and the law?
Her father knocked lightly again.
Damn, this must be important to him, Gwen grumbled internally and went to her bedroom door.
"I'm already here," she said with a yawn and rubbed her tired eyes, ignoring the tingling in her stomach that arose as she entered the living room. "What's wrong … now … again?"
She must be hallucinating. Like a shy deer, she froze in the middle of the room, her hands on her wide eyes.
"Gwen?" her father George asked cautiously, but he received no answer. Not even a reaction. Gwen was frozen. Not even the open mouth moved or gave any sign of life.
"Gwendolyn Maxine Stacy?" George tried again, waving his hand in front of her face.
All this in front of Miles, and before she knew it, she felt the blood rush to her cheeks.
She finally shook her head, hoping that it would stop Miles standing in front of her, but it didn't help. He was it.
He had grown again, but this time she refrained from commenting.
Instead she just pushed around.
George exchanged a quick glance between his daughter and the boy, and understood.
"I forgot something at the office," he said, grabbed his jacket and closed the apartment door behind him with a smile.
"D-Dad?" she called after him, still uncertain, but he no longer responded.
So now she found herself facing Miles alone, completely unprepared.
Her clothes were in disarray, her hair was completely disheveled. This is not how I imagined our reunion, she thought in shock. "Hey, M-Miles?" she finally greeted him, more distantly than planned. "I-I...didn't expect you." Shit, why are you like this? Not a good start. "Gwen," he simply replied. But something in his fixed, determined gaze told her that he wasn't feeling well either. "Roof?" she blurted out. "Roof," Miles nodded, and each of them wanted to get to the apartment door faster than the other.
They climbed the stairs until they reached the attic. Miles followed her through the door onto the roof and watched her stand on one of the edges of the roof. Gwen looked at him with the bright blue eyes he had so desperately missed.
He wanted to be angry, he wanted to be disappointed. He was too, but when he saw her, a lot of those emotions vanished.
He had already forgiven her for a lot after they defeated Spot and saved the multiverse. But the figurative dagger she had plunged into his back through her betrayal still stung.
Gwen held out a hand and waited for Miles. Without hesitation, he grabbed it and swung it onto a tower not far from the roof.
Under the blue-violet sky of this dimension, both of them sat down on the surface of the sheet metal.
Neither of them dared to break the peace, even though there were so many unasked questions between them.
Gwen stole a glance at Miles and noticed him absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint on his pants.
"Can we talk?" he finally said.
"Y-yeah, sure, Miles," she replied, her lack of preparation already bothering her.
The whole time she was thinking about the right words, everything she wanted to say to Miles. And finally he stood in front of her and she couldn't get anything done.
Damn, you're Spider-Woman. You have superpowers! You saved the multiverse! And you can't talk about your feelings!, she just thought to herself.
"Gwen, first I have to thank you," Miles continued and Gwen looked at him in shock but remained silent.
"You waited and didn't pressure me, after New York. I thank you for respecting my wishes. But..."
Gwen nodded carefully. She already heard the following words in her head as a foreshadowing. She screwed up. Once again.
By keeping her distance, she probably proved to him that she didn't need him. It was exactly the other way around. Should she have come forward even though he didn't want to see her?
To show that she was still there, eagerly waiting for whatever decision.
"Gwen, I need to know why this all happened. Why did you come back? Why didn't you tell me?"
Miles was breathing heavily. He felt the anger boiling up again in his body. He didn't want to hurt this girl next to him, but could she blame him?
She had broken him deeply, betrayed his trust and abandoned him.
"You had so many chances. So many."
Gwen watched with pain in her chest as Miles remained calm despite all the accusations against her and all the torment she had inflicted on him.
"And all you did was look away. Every. Single. Time. Why?"
This was the moment Gwen had been dreading for so long.
She had to convince him, but how? How could he understand that?
There was a good reason why she stopped making friends since Peter died. It was a simple, reckless life until she met Miles at his dimensions' VISIONS.
Her entire life depended on the answer she would give now. Because she couldn't live without him anymore.
But if he dumped her, that was something she could understand. Even if it would then break her.
He waited as the words barely formed in her head.
She blinked several times and took a deep breath to push away the sadness before answering.
"When I came back here, after the collider incident on your world... I thought I would never see you again. I spent months trying to think of how to open these portals. And then, at some point, I met Miguel.
He gave me this portal watch, and suddenly I had all the possibilities in the world. Nonsense, in the multiverse. And I thought, I can finally see you again. But then Miguel showed me the truth, about your spider, about the anomaly and about that circumstances that made you Spider-Man. He showed me the effects, the canon and the suffering we have to go through as Spider."
"That's exactly it, Gwen!" Miles snapped. "You knew everything! You knew that my dad was supposed to die. You knew that I was the anomaly, the first! And all you did was jump into my room, make beautiful eyes at me and say none of it. You didn't even warn me!" Miles growled.
Gwen sank further and further into herself. Blaming yourself was bad enough. But hearing it from Miles also shattered any small chance in her eyes of ever getting back together with him, no matter how. And she deserved it.
"Miles..."
"No, Gwen!" She jumped at the harshness in his voice. He didn't sound dangerous, he was hurt. More than she ever imagined.
"You told me about the Spider Society, about all the friends you made there. You raved to me, knowing that I could never be a part of it. Not as long as Miguel was there, always with me wanted to lock it away!"
Miles and Miguel's fight replayed itself before Gwen's eyes every time. How he pushed the boy brutally onto the train, ready to defeat him.
"After the Collider, I always tried to be the Spider-Man this city needed. But it was so hard, Gwen. I had no one to share my secret with. No one who understood what I was going through. When I went through all this alone, all I had was what I learned from you and Peter. Nothing more. And that made me a Spider-Man I never thought I could embody. People looked up to me. And yet I was alone. I did everything to see you again. I even wanted to study quantum physics! All just to see my friends. To see you. And suddenly you were sitting there. Right next to me. And my life made sense again."
He looked bitterly into Gwen's eyes. She could no longer flee from his anger as usual. She had to stand her ground. Because they were important. And she also saw Miles' lips trembling with sadness and anger.
"You lied to me! You didn't say anything! You..." He rubbed his face and his voice trailed off. "You disappointed me when I needed you most. Why?"
Gwen felt what Miles said shake her.
And she knew that now, in this moment, was the last chance to tell him everything. This answer was the most important one she could give in her life.
Either she won him back or she had to let him go. For his best.
"When they offered me a place in the Society, the first person I could think of was you. And I kept annoying them until they finally listened to me. And then when Spot showed up, I saw my opportunity. They had no chance to stop me. So they let me go, to you, to this world. I know I should have told you everything, at the clock tower at the latest. But the truth is, I was afraid. They showed me all the variations of Gwen Stacy in this multiverse. And none of them survived this relationship with Spider-Man. Gwen Stacy was always the one who lost. And that made me scared as hell."
She turned to Miles and looked him determinedly in the eyes. Rarely, actually never, had she shared these things with anyone. Not even Hobie, who she had made as a friend.
"I didn't want to lose you, Miles. And so I did the only thing I'm 'good' at: I hid and closed myself off. I resigned myself to the fate that this would happen to me too. That's why I never contacted you, to the point where I jumped into your room. I was afraid I would jeopardize our friendship. But that's exactly what caused everything to unravel in the first place."
She held her hands in front of her face. How could she hurt him like that?
If he were her, he would have done anything to keep her safe. He would have told her everything. Instead, she pushed him away. Miles Morales, probably the bravest and most steadfast man in this universe.
She took a deep breath. She wasn't done trying yet, and she knew she was now dancing on a knife's edge.
"I thought I could just come to you, say hello and then disappear again. See you one last time. I've never been so wrong. And that made me both happy and scared. Happy because of everything but our friendship was difficult. It was always easy with you. Being with you that day was the best thing that could have happened to me. Because I only ended up in the Society because my father wanted to arrest me, and I wanted to do something right in my life for once. But it was also the worst because I thought it would be the last time I would have the chance. I should have told you everything right away, and the fact that I didn't have done ..."
Another deep breath and Miles still listened to her. Damn, it doesn't matter now anyway, she thought to herself.
"Shit! I had so many opportunities to break out of this trauma. To do the right thing. I just stood there, numb and motionless, just like you said. You didn't shatter me when you told me I never would have should come back. I did that myself in that moment. I... am not like you, Miles. You are the best person I have ever met. You wanted to fight against what was thrown your way, no matter how big it was. And I should have done it too, and knowing that I didn't is the biggest mistake of my life. A mistake I can't undo. But when I saw you wanting to save your father, just like you had done in Mumbattan... I finally reacted. Then I knew that nothing was predetermined."
She played nervously with her fingernails.
"I meant it when I told you that I always thought you were amazing. You are by far the most important and inspiring person in my life, Miles. I will never forgive myself for treating you like that. And I understand if you don't want me in your life anymore."
Gwen wanted to turn away when she felt the tears on her cheeks. She didn't want to be vulnerable. But shit, it was Miles. Who else other than him would she want to show herself like she just did?
"You have betrayed all the trust I placed in you, Gwen."
A sharp pain shot through her body. That was it. She had given everything, but it wasn't good enough. There was no Gwen Stacy with Spider-Man, like always. Her damn fear of this canon had destroyed everything she had imagined and hoped for. She has lost the most important person in her life again.
"And I don't know how we can fix this."
She nodded because she understood. He deserved a better girlfriend. She was about to get up and run away. There was nothing left to hold her.
"...But I'd be stupid not to give it another chance."
Gwen spun around and stared at him in disbelief for a while. Before she remembered how to breathe again and the cautious feeling of happiness spread over every part of her body.
Miles knew where he was headed when he saw her in her apartment. Broken, drained, vulnerable but still brave.
She was his Gwen. She didn't give up, no matter how hopeless the fight seemed.
And now he looked into her sparkling, tear-filled blue eyes and knew that his decision was right.
Gwen was the first person he met after becoming the new Spider-Man of this world. She was the first best friend he had. She had accompanied him from the beginning and was the only one in his eyes who could help him.
She fell into his arms and Miles held her close.
“Shit,” Gwen cried uncontrollably. "Miles, I promise you that I will make it up to you. And..."
She rubbed her eyes as Miles looked at her. He lifted her head slightly and kissed her forehead.
It was a light kiss, but Gwen melted. No feeling in the world has ever been as intense as this.
And she never thought there would be something she needed so badly.
All the hardships, all the secrets, everything fell away from her in that moment.
She had Miles, she had a soulmate, and she never wanted to let him go.
"It'll be okay, Gwen," Miles said. "If we both work on it."
Gwen knew that was the truth. But she wasn't surprised that he could exude so much confidence even though he was so young.
Miles finally looked at her warmly as she still whimpered in happiness and gasped for air.
"There's someone who wants to get to know you. I mean for real," he winked at her in a whisper. They went back into the apartment together, and Gwen tried to find at least a few suitable clothes in her room.
"Don't run away," she said sheepishly to Miles, who was waiting in the living room, and pushed a strand of hair out of her face.
Absolutely not, Miles thought to himself as he watched her go. She was perfect. And he was willing to forgive her mistakes.
He had never felt so at home around someone outside of his family. And even if she had betrayed him, it was her honest apology that convinced him that she was unaware of the implications.
A few minutes later Gwen stood in front of him and she looked like a completely different person. She glowed from head to toe and beamed up to both ears.
It was this conversation and its outcome that she needed to blossom again.
"Ready?" he asked and opened the portal to his world.
Gwen swallowed hard against the lump that formed in her throat. She knew where they wanted to go. To Miles' parents, or at least his mother.
And their last personal conversation hadn't necessarily been positive.
But Miles was at her side. And from now on she no longer thought about running away.
🕷️
"Miles!" his mother shouted happily when she saw him come through the door.
Behind him, Gwen almost crushed his arm in panic. The feeling increased for a brief moment as Rio glanced at her.
The two women looked at each other quietly. Gwen sincerely hoped that Rio could forgive her as Miles had.
Finally Hobie pushed past her. "Yo, Miles!" he winked at him. "So you made it clear, brother. Congrats," he whispered appreciatively, only audible to Miles, who then briefly shook his head.
"Mrs. M, I'm leaving!" Hobie finally called out to Rio. "I'm out of here!"
Without waiting for a response, he opened a portal to his dimension and disappeared.
"That's normal for him," Rio sighed, amused at the look on Gwen's face, and then walked towards the teenager. "Hello Gwen. Glad you could come."
"Mrs. Morales," Gwen stuttered excitedly. She held out her hand stiffly to Miles' mother.
"At least you have manners this time," Rio said seriously. If a hole had opened up in the ground right now, Gwen would have jumped in immediately.
"Mom!" Miles complained loudly.
Finally, Rio laughed loudly and took Gwen's hand. She felt so warm and motherly, Gwen thought immediately. A touch that she missed so much since she was a child.
Rio led her and Miles up to the roof, and the older of the two women watched as Miles looked dreamily at the water tower.
It was a warm summer evening and the sun had already disappeared below the horizon. A fire barrel was burning and the three of them sat around it. Gwen didn't leave Miles' side.
She hadn't felt so relieved in a long time. There was no battle to fight, no mask to wear. She was just Gwen Stacy, a neighborhood girl surrounded by friends.
She saw the huge graffiti of Aaron, Miles' uncle, on the wall of the house and studied it. "Was that you, Miles? Did you spray that?"
"Actually... even Dad and I. He thought it was fitting, and for once he looked beyond the law."
Gwen gave a genuine laugh. She hoped that Miles' father was doing well and that he could join the family again soon. At that time she simply couldn't allow Miles to be taken any more as had already happened.
They talked well into the evening, and Gwen lost track of time.
“How did you meet?” Rio asked at one point.
"I...well," Miles replied evasively, tugging at the collar of his shirt.
"You didn't really tried the shoulder touch...?" Rio covered her mouth with her hands. "Dios mio, Miles!"
"It was quite...weird at first?" Gwen explained. "But the way he did it was kind of cute too."
She looked over and saw how embarrassed Miles was.
Rio watched the two children exchange glances and smiled.
"Miles, can you please get me a jacket from the apartment? It's a bit chilly right now," she instructed her son, who immediately got up and disappeared down the stairwell.
Now Gwen was alone with Rio. She felt the tension inside her.
"You know," Rio began calmly. "I never thanked you for your efforts."
Gwen looked at her in surprise. “My efforts?”
"Hobie told me everything, Gwen. You don't have to deny it. You've done great things."
A wave of warmth spread through Gwen.
"You don't have to thank me for this," she said in a shaky voice. She felt the pain of the past resurface and come to the surface. "After all, he was only in this situation because of me. Only because I was too cowardly."
She turned to the side, embarrassed by the tears. But Rio took her face.
"You love him."
"Yes," Gwen blurted out before she could stop herself. "And it scares me. We're connected on a level I don't feel with any other Spider."
"The way you look at each other... the way Miles looks after you. That's how Jeff and I looked at each other when I met him on the street, while spraying, and afterward. And look how far we've come."
"I'm an open book apparently," Gwen smiled.
"More than that," said Rio. "But only for me. The strongest relationships come from pasts like that. I'm glad you and Miles found each other."
Gwen hadn't even thought that far ahead. But after the last few hours, she enjoyed the thought of being able to live in this family, with her father.
“I took care of my little boy his whole life,” Rio said. "I was able to protect him from all the terrible things out there in the world. And now Miles is going his own way and I can't protect him like I used to. I can't always be there to take care of him. So Miles had to promise to take care of himself. To make sure the little boy I raised always comes back. But I always hoped that eventually he would find someone who would care for him as much as I did. And looking at you, I know that he has found that one person. That means much more to me than listing the mistakes you are said to have made in your past. You fought for him, and for you."
His mother was so incredible, Gwen thought with joy. Rio had that pure, unconditional love that a mother feels for her child. She firmly took Rio's hands in hers.
"I promise you, Mrs. Morales. As long as I live, I will protect him. I will make sure he comes back to you. Every time."
Rio fell silent and looked deeply into Gwen's eyes. This time she didn't lie, and she didn't hide anything. "I expect nothing less from you. Thank you."
Gwen waited for Rio to say something else. Instead, she pulled her into a tight hug that almost made her collapse. How much she had longed for this.
"Please, I'm Rio to you," Miles' mother offered her.
Gwen sensed Miles standing motionless in the doorway, his mother's jacket in his hand. And he enjoyed what he saw Gwen and Rio experiencing the moment.
A family worth fighting for, Gwen thought to herself. To which she could always return. And this time nothing could stop her.
My name is Gwen Stacy. I am Spider Woman. My life as a ghost was lonely.
I was persecuted, I fought. And I vowed never to make friends again.
Until I met him. Miles Morales. And suddenly my life was complete.
I promised to protect him like he protects me. Nothing is impossible together.
Because together we are stronger. Together we are greater.
In every other universe, Gwen Stacy falls for Spider-Man.
And in every other universe it doesn't end well.
But not this time. This time everything will change.