Work Text:
[🌦️]
It was a late November evening. However, it wasn’t just any regular day for Jihyo.
Her life seemed a bit gloomy at the moment. A weird contrast to the lady who always seemed so productive and active, she never liked being bored. But suddenly, she seemed so out of it. Now falling into some routine that she forced herself to go into after what happened.
One day she was out with her girlfriend, Sana. Doing their usual daily activities as a couple, same as ever. Then the next she found out that she was being taken care of in the hospital at the next town over.
Such a turn of events. Jihyo never thought that she would be experiencing something like this first hand.
It had been five days since she got the call about her girlfriend’s condition. And since then, ever she got off of work, she would make time to go visit her in the hospital, and she’s been visiting her everyday since.
[🌥️]
“Hi, love,” Jihyo said as soon as stepped foot into the sterile hospital room. She looked down at her comatose girlfriend. “I brought you your favorite candy- you know, in case if you wake up you can have some.” She placed down the small bag of lollipops by her bedside. She then sat down on one of the chairs in the room and pushed back a strand of hair behind her ear. Her long brunette hair was plastered all over the narrow bed, just a bit messy. But at that moment, she looked nothing but peaceful.
She held onto Sana’s hand that was left unscathed. She noticed how it was cold, pale and limp, it didn’t feel right. She always recalled her girlfriend’s hands to be so warm. Jihyo continued to look at Sana and started to gently caress her hand. To be frank, she was so scared about what would happen to the girl she loved so much.
Will she truly be okay in the end?
Will she recover well?
Will she even remember me?
She couldn’t help but tear up slightly as she looked at her, Sana just looked like a shell of her true self. This isn’t the girl that she wanted to remember last, but now seeing her like this- Jihyo couldn’t help but remember her in this terrible state.
“I had a rough day today,” Jihyo admitted, her voice gentle and soft. “Some people are jerks, aren’t they? It’s such an annoying thing to deal with…” Sana’s body still laid on the bed as she talked, the only thing moving was her chest rising and falling as she was slowly breathing with the aid of a machine that was beside her.
“How would you deal with those type of people, love?” She asked her girlfriend, thinking about what she could’ve said.
“Oh I know… You would complain about it for a short while then stop caring too much, wouldn’t you?” She said with a smile, reminiscing about the times that she would come home telling her about all the stuff that happened in her life that day then reassuring her girlfriend soon after that it wasn’t too relevant now.
“You’re so carefree like that, love. It only affects you for a little bit. That's amazing, and nothing but admirable. How do you do it?”
Jihyo looked into Sana’s closed eyes, maybe hoping for a response. Despite her injuries and all the medical devices around her- she still seemed to looked beautiful. If anything, she just looked asleep. It reassured Jihyo in the slightest that maybe in the end it’ll be alright for the both of them.
“Silent treatment, huh?” She chuckled a bit, trying to lighten herself up. “Don’t stay silent for too long, okay? All you do is yap all day, I can’t stand you being so quiet.” She continued to caress her hand, hoping for a small response or reaction. She just wanted something to come out of her girlfriend, just one small thing.
“I wouldn’t mind if you would call me bossy or any of your other silly nicknames… I actually really miss that.”
Jihyo looked up from her and eyed down the bedside table as the monitors in the background kept beeping monotonously. Noticing all the gifts that she and her friends and family left for her. It looked somber, almost bittersweet. The copious amount of little trinkets, plushies, and other items all related and resembled her personality so much, Jihyo really hoped that she would wake up to see all of this waiting for her.
“Enough about me, how about you? Are you hanging in there?” She asked her unconscious girl again, “Wait- what am I even saying? You’re literally in a coma.” She said with a sigh, now holding onto her hand tighter.
Her eyes were now really glistening with tears in the lights of the hospital room. “You better wake up soon, okay? I can’t stand you to be like this anymore… Not to vent, but it hurts me too. I miss you so much.” Jihyo said as she was choking up with her words. She’s cried over the current situation, but she’s never cried right in front of her. She felt embarrassed to do so, even though Sana was still unconscious.
“I wouldn’t know how to forgive you if you didn’t wake up.”
Jihyo sobbed softly as she continued to hold her girlfriend’s hand, trying to ignore how battered and bruised she was left even after all the treatments and procedures. She just felt so bad and so guilty.
Maybe if she was there when she was out the accident could’ve been prevented, or if she stayed on the phone longer with her it could’ve been prevented as well.
All the “what if’s” and “maybe’s” came rushing through her mind, and she thought it was all shameful to even think about.
She then thought, “She’ll pull through, she’s Sana after all.” Because in her mind, she painted Sana to be this strong and resilient person- yet so optimistic and energetic at the same time. Jihyo didn’t want to lose that perception of her.
In that same moment, she also realized that maybe Sana wouldn’t want her to pity her so much, even though she was in a critical state. Jihyo knew that she didn’t like nor did she want to be pitied like this.
Slowly, Jihyo stopped herself from crying and wiped her tears. “I’m sorry, baby. I don’t know if you heard that by some chance but- you really shouldn’t have.” She said, then gave her a small kiss on the forehead. “I’m sorry, you’ll be fine- right?”
“I’ll be back tomorrow, same time. I’ll be waiting for you.” She got up from her chair and decided to kiss her again, but this time on her hand, leaving a small stain from her lipstick on her pale skin.
“Wake up when you’re ready, okay?”
[⛅️]